Sorry, sorry, sorry for the huge-however-many-month delay in between chapters! Hope this extra long chapter makes up for it!
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Parker stared at the wall in front of her. She was sitting on a couch in Sophie's apartment, with Sophie sitting to her left. Sophie had turned the second bedroom into an office of sorts, and that was where they sat now. Sophie's friend was due to arrive any minute and Parker was nervous. She didn't like talking to shrinks. Well, check that, she didn't necessarily like talking to anyone, but shrinks weren't at the top of the list of people she would talk to if she had to talk to someone.
"Are you sure that..."she started, but Sophie cut her off,
"Yes. I think she might really be able to help Parker. And even if she can't at least we tried, and there's no harm in that is there?" Parker fidgeted on the couch, but winced when she felt a pull at her stitches. She breathed out slowly and sat still. This was dumb.
There was a knock at the door out in the hall and Parker's eyes widened in fear. Sophie got up to answer it, but not before turning back to Parker, "No going out the window, alright?" Parker nodded, but internally didn't make any promises. Out in the hall she could hear Sophie greeting her friend, and then they were walking into the room. Parker immediately took stock. The woman who entered the room behind Sophie was petite, slightly shorter than Parker. She was casually dressed, jeans and a sweater, and carrying a travel mug of coffee in one hand and a messenger bag over her other shoulder. She had straight, shoulder length brown/auburn hair, freckles, and green eyes. She looked to be in her mid-thirties. She didn't seem extremely threatening and Parker's shoulders relaxed slightly. She smiled gently at Parker and extended her hand.
"Hi there, you must be Parker." Parker shook her hand warily and nodded, her face remaining blank. The woman took a seat on the chair across from the couch, and Sophie sat back down next to Parker. "My name is Erica. Sophie wasn't overly forthcoming with the details, but she said you could really use someone to talk to right now. Want to tell me what's going on?" Parker shook her head. Erica smiled at Parker's reaction. "Hey you know, I don't blame you, I probably wouldn't be too keen on spilling my guts to a complete stranger either." Erica casually took a sip from her mug. "Well, Sophie did tell me you like drawing." Parker didn't respond. "So I brought some paper and some pencils if you want to draw."
"Ok." Drawing seemed safe enough. Erica reached into her bag and pulled out some paper and a pencil for Parker and handed it to her. Parker winced as she reached for it.
"You alright?" Erica asked.
"Fine." Parker immediately focused on drawing, finding it to be a relief not to have to look anyone in the eyes.
"Is it ok if I ask you some questions Parker?" Parker shrugged.
"I guess."
"What happened to your hands? Looks like it hurts." she asked, referring to Parker's knuckles, which had scabbed over from the other night.
"I punched a wall."
"Any particular reason?"
"I was..." There was a moment of silence. Parker winced again as a twinge of pain shot through her shoulder. She raised and lowered it. "I was upset."
"I notice you seem to have a sore shoulder. What happened there, just from hitting the wall, or is it from something else?" Parker didn't look up from her paper.
"I got shot." she answered blankly. Erica's eyebrows raised and she looked at Sophie for confirmation. Sophie nodded.
"Wow. That must have been frightening. How long ago was that?" Her response was calm, but there was empathy in her voice as well.
"A few days ago."
"Geez, if I had gotten shot just a few days ago I'd probably still be moaning in a hospital bed somewhere trying to slurp down some jello. You seem to bounce back pretty quick huh?"
"I don't like hospitals."
"Me neither, the smell right?" Parker nodded. The smell always had unnerved her.
"Something like that."
"So what happened? Was it an accident?" Parker flipped her pencil to erase something but still didn't meet Erica's eyes.
"No accident. Somebody wants me dead."
"She narrowly escaped two attempts on her life." Sophie chimed in quietly. "The first was the initial shooting, and the second was a hit woman who came to the hospital to try and finish the job."
"So, what do these people want? I mean, why do they want you dead? Do you know?" Parker's hand shook slightly and she paused from drawing. She knew this part was coming. She knew she didn't have to say anything. She could just be silent, and she knew Sophie wouldn't say anything either. Sophie had promised to let Parker take the lead in what she did and didn't want Erica to know. She also knew rationally that Erica was bound by confidentiality, so anything Parker told her wouldn't go anywhere. But she still wasn't sure if she wanted to go into all of this again. Just telling Sophie and Hardison had been an ordeal. Her head was dizzy from all the conflicting emotions. She was scared. She didn't want to tell another person...But she was so tired. Tired of keeping it all inside. Tired of the things she hadn't even told Sophie and Hardison clawing away at her insides day in and day out. Because it never really left. Sophie put a comforting hand on Parker's back and Parker took a breath.
"My dad was going to expose a senator...Rhett Withers. His aide at the time was Derrick Ellsworth, and he was ordered to kill my family to make sure my dad didn't turn him in. My brother Charlie, we were playing in the street, riding bikes...and he..." Parker stopped. She looked up pleadingly, first to Sophie, then a glance at Erica. She didn't want to say this out loud. Tears were forming in Parker's eyes. She shook her head. She didn't want to say this. She looked at Erica again.
"He killed your brother." Erica said, filling in the blank for her, her eyes sad. Parker nodded. She was crying now.
"Hit us with a car." Parker's voice cracked."Charlie was so small, and I was laying in the street and he just looked so small, and there was so much blood, and he wasn't moving. And I knew he wasn't ok. And everything hurt. Then I was in the hospital, and I woke up, and Charlie was gone, and my parents were there and they told me that I had to go away for a little while. That I couldn't be Katie Parker because it wasn't safe. So they left me at a group home with a new name. And they said they'd be back but they never came back. They left me. He stole them all from me, and I was left in the system..." There was another hitch in Parker's voice and she stopped. She gripped the pencil tightly. She was trying to say the next part but it wouldn't come. "...and people hurt me."
"Her parents were trying to protect her, but Derrick got to them first. Now he's running for office, and somehow found Parker and decided he needed to finish the job." Sophie said, her voice just as unsteady as Parker's.
Erica looked affected, but feigned a small smile. "Well, I'd say all that is a recipe for a pretty bad week huh?" Parker knew she wasn't trying to belittle the situation, only make it seem more manageable for her. The thief managed a small laugh.
"Yeah. I thought if I just never thought about it all...and I've done ok. It never goes away, but I could make it hurt less. I can make it just this thing that happened, that I don't feel anything about, that I never tell anyone about. But now, its like...its like I can't breathe." Erica nodded. "Sophie said you can help, can you make it go away? Please, I just need it to go away."
"Look Parker, I'm not going to lie to you, not that I lie to people anyways, but I get the feeling you like it when people give it to you straight. You can try to bury it, but I don't think something like this ever really goes away, what happened happened, and I think deep down you know that already. I can't make it go away. No one can make the terrible thing that Ellsworth did go away. It happened, and it sucks so much I can't even begin to imagine...But Sophie and I can help you talk through it, figure out a plan, figure out maybe how come to terms with it." Parker looked away towards the window.
"Ok." she responded softly. "I'm just so angry and sad, and I don't like being those things, and I'm scared, because I don't want to be those things forever."
"I know."