(A/N): Time to enter the mind of one of the most requested characters.

Thanks to everyone for the support. It's been awesome so far. Let's keep this going shall we?

DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Last Of Us. I am merely using an altered world inspired by the masterpiece created by Naughty Dog.

Journal Entries #1 & #2: Doan Le

Date: March 30th 2015

I had another nightmare about that day...

I kept seeing what it might've been like to see him suffer at the hands of those bandits. I managed to get him to open up about it but he made me promise him never to tell Flora.

Berkley was an expert in interrogation and he used a lot of different methods. He had his men beat him with thick torn leather and never gave him a moment to catch his breath from screaming. He would then have them douse him in iced water so his body would become numb only to once again be met with pain. The fact that his body was able to heal so well was something I was truly amazed at.

Once Berkley understood that he wouldn't talk with physical torture, he started using what he learned about Zack and everyone else against him. He threatened to kill Flora and I if he didn't fill him in on everything at the post, going so far as burn the photos he had of his mother and father and even the photo he had of Flora and him when they were kids. Still, Jordan didn't tell him a word. After all of this, Berkley realized that there was no way he could force him to speak so he used Jordan as bait to lure Zack out. Thankfully, Zoey's plan worked and we were able to repel the attack...it still, watching him get hit with that bat was so painful...it probably hurt me a lot more than it did him.

It was my fault that he was put in that position...if I had been faster and less scared, I could've prevented it all from happening. Not a single person blamed me for it...not even Jordan himself but I couldn't help but believe it was my fault regardless. It's something that tortures me everyday and every time I see Jordan with his arm broken, it reminds me that it was because of me why he was like that.

He never let me beat myself up about it though and even though he couldn't do much, he was always there to encourage me. He would come out and watch me train with the wakizashi he gave me and would give me pointers as well as a workout routine to ensure I was in prime condition to wield it. I wasn't able to keep up with all of the things he wanted me to but I know I was stronger and faster than I was last time because swinging the sword became much easier. There were even times he allowed me to use his katana though he much preferred I used the wakizashi to avoid straining my muscles.

It was not an easy task...but I was willing to put the effort into it. He also didn't go easy on me either; he had me spar against Kyle a few times and he was much further ahead in the training than I was. I got my butt kicked quite a few times but Kyle was definitely a lot more in practice than me. He was a natural with things that required agility and I could see why Jordan always called him a ninja.

Apart from sword training...everything else has been normal. Everyone's been good. All that was left was to wait for Jordan's arm to get better so we could get the clearing plan underway.

I guess I needed to write about this to make myself feel better...I didn't realize how guilty I truly felt until I had that nightmare last night...

Maybe I'm losing my sanity...or maybe I was doing the same thing Jordan used to do; blame myself for everything.

I need to get better and I need to focus because I can't afford to keep this distracted mindset...especially if we hope to clear that lab.

Date: April 10th 2015

I can't believe how quickly the March flew by. It felt like it was only yesterday that Jordan had just returned to us.

I don't know what kind of compound Emile used in his arm but Jordan was already able to use it again. Granted he still can't wield his sword as well as he used to but I guess he'll just have to retrain his arm. The stab wound disappeared without a trace as well so it was as if he never got injured in the first place. I'm very glad that he's back to normal but he unfortunately got really sick since about two weeks ago. We had to abandon our plan to transfer compounds for the week in order to clear out the lab because he got sick.

Emile made regular visits to check up on him as well as Kyle who got injured on a hunting accident. Kyle ended up severely spraining his left ankle but he was able to overcome it pretty quickly, mere days before Jordan's arm was good enough to no longer be in a cast. Things were looking up for once I guess.

I really thought about what Zoey said to me that night...because I had no idea just how deeply my feelings ran for him. I definitely cared for him; there's almost nothing he could ask me to do that I wouldn't try to but how exactly did I feel?

He spent most of his time resting and sleeping with that sickness of his so he didn't really spend time with me apart from when we slept. During the days, he would leave the bed quarters only when he had to use the bathroom or to shower; Flora took his food to him so he wouldn't have to stay on his feet. I knew that he cared deeply for me...not as much as he does for his sister but definitely close. Zoey told me a few days ago the reasoning behind her question; Berkley had made an assumption and she wanted to know if he was right or wrong. I definitely didn't do this out of pity and I genuinely enjoyed his company. I loved how he treated me as an equal and didn't baby me on anything and most of all, I loved the fact that his judgement didn't change as he said it would. He was still the same guy I knew all this time...only now he kisses me.

I'm pretty anxious for his arm to get better; he promised me that he would teach me swordsmanship and I read as much as I could about Hiten Mitsurugi-Ryu and even practiced it but because the sword that had to be used to really learn the principles was a katana, which Jordan gave to Kyle to use as his own until he got better. I kissed him goodnight a few minutes ago and he seemed to be feeling a lot better after Flora made him garlic tea and made him eat some kind of herbal mixture she read about. Considering the smell of that tea, he had to care a lot about her to stomach something that smelled as awful as that!

I'd say it'd take about a week for everything to get back to normal...maybe when he's better, I can really sit down and get to know him because most of the time I spent with him was sleeping.

For once...I think I believe we can get through this.

We just need to clear out that lab for Emile and company to get started on their work for the vaccine. Then at least, we won't have to worry about being infected. The cure can come later I guess...but being able to walk into spore infested areas without a gas mask would be nice.

Here's hoping he feels better because he didn't talk today at all...and he just went to sleep.

Will write again once we arrive at the new compound.