h Hi! Does anyone still remember what the heck is happening? I sure don't because it's been forever. Ha I tease but still it's been a while and sorry about that. Everyone's been busy! Also this took me at least ten years to write.

Also reminder that this is 2003/2007 movie version. Either would work really.

Enjoy!

3 weeks since captivity

"What's that?"

My eyes zoom in on a picture sitting on the middle panel of the book shelf. I waddle towards it and ignore the complaints from my leg.

"What's what?" Leo inquires cautiously.

I grab the frame with one hand and the first thing I notice is Splinter standing next to two strangers; a red headed girl and a long haired man. My eyes skim across their faces without a hint of recognition but when I reach my brothers I freeze.

Oh no. God no.

It's the colors. All of them.

Purple.

Blue.

Red.

"Mikey don't look at that." I hear Leo stagger towards me but it's too late. I try to close my eyes. I try to look at anything but the colors. I shake my head painfully.

"No."

I won't let them take over. I can't, not after doing so well these couple past weeks. I have to keep them out of my mind. I have to fight this. I am free; I am no longer controlled by the colors. I can do this. I am in control of my own emotions. Aren't I?

I haven't seen them in weeks and I'm confused. Maybe I need them in my life. Maybe I can't live without them, I don't know how. Maybe just one peek. That's all I need to feel complete again.

My eyes snap open and I zoom in on the first color I see.

Purple.

His laughter flits across the room and the fear plunges deep into my skin and pinches my muscles. I see the picture frame quaking from my shaking hands. Suddenly Purple jumps out of the picture and wraps around my eyes. I gasp in surprise as it snakes around my head. I hear the vile hissing in my ears.

'I've missed my play thing.'

I scream at the sound of his voice and cover my ears. No! This can't be possible!

He's here.

'Life is so boring without you. I have no one to try out my new toys with me.'

"Get out! GET OUT!" I shriek. I fall to the ground and thrash around. Get out of my brain! I dig my fingers into the sides of my head trying to rip him from my mind. I am in control. My emotions, my pain.

'But don't you miss me? Don't you remember how much fun we had together?'

My life. My mind.

'Do I have to remind you?

Scream.

Pain.

Fear.'

No. Stop it. My life. My mind.

'Come on, say them with me.'

I won't! I am free, I am free of you.

His bitter laughter drills into my brain.

'You will never be free of me.'

The Purple moves away from my eyes and slithers down my body. It squeezes painfully sending sharp fear up my spin. My lungs tighten and I struggle to breathe. My mouth starts moving without my control and the words ram against my ears.

"Scream.

Pain.

Fear."

He repeats those words over and over and over. I hear my own voice saying it with him but it isn't me, it can't be. It's him! He's making me say it. He's forcing my mouth to move.

Please, leave me alone! Stop this!

Stop this!

'Oh it's just like old times!'

He cackles.

"He-help me." I croak out between the ranting. I can't control my own words.

"Scream.

Pain.

Fear."

Someone please, HELP ME. I'm being suffocated in my own mind. It's a game of control and I am losing.

"Mikey…"

Is something there? Please someone help me!

"You ….no…fear…Listen…"

Listen, I try to but I can't. Nothing can beat the pounding words against my brain.

"Mikey…Please." I finally manage to hear through my chanting.

"—with your family…Please."

I think I recognize the voice.

L—Leo?

I growl and shake my head. It gives me a new hope, a new chance to fight. Leo is here with me. My family is here.

I start to shove Purple out of my mind again but he continues to fight back violently. He is so much stronger than I am.

This is my body. This is my brain. I grit my teeth together and feel my fingers digging into my head. I push Purple out as much as I can; stuffing him back into the picture he jumped out of. A shiver runs down my spine and I suck in a large breath. My rants suddenly shut down and I freeze.

Is it over? Did I…did I win? I search for Purple, praying he left for good. But as soon as I think he's gone a storm of fear floods every ounce of my being, attacking and scratching my mind.

'I am never truly gone'

I can't help it. I scream until the whole world goes dark.

(Leo)

I see Mikey as soon as I open the door to the lab. He is incredibly peaceful now that he's asleep. Last night was only the second time I have seen his reaction to the colors. The good news is that this time I could tell he was trying to fight it. Except I'm afraid that that old adage, it's only going to get worse before it gets better, applies to our situation.

All I know is that we should be acting faster. His reactions are so dramatic, he can't go his life living like this.

Donnie leans against his desk and holds a pair of pliers. His squinting eyes create a thoughtful expression as he gazes at the tool in his hand. He doesn't acknowledge me but he's paying attention nevertheless. I stand right next to him and he slowly puts the tool down. He still doesn't look at me.

"He isn't improving." I say. I wince at the sound of my own voice, it seems like I am blaming him. Luckily he doesn't take it that way.

"I know." He responds bluntly.

"We need to start counter acting his conditioning."

"I know."

My concern comes smashing back like a monsoon. He looks like he actually got some sleep last night. I think we all did from the day we had yesterday. Raph told me Donnie was perfectly fine after his talk with him. Is Donnie still trying to hide his feelings? Something is obviously on his mind. I proceed with caution.

"I think it would be best if we start with Purple."

Donnie doesn't say anything but I notice him slightly shift. Something is definitely wrong. I clear my throat.

"Is that okay with you?"

"Of course, it's the most practical step." He says.

"That's not what I…" I start but he cuts me off.

"Out of the three colors in the picture he immediately picked out Purple. Not only that but it seems to be his most violent reaction and it is the one color we know the most about. It makes sense we should start with Purple."

"Donnie…"

He finally turns and looks at me, I am expecting to see sad and lost eyes but I don't. Instead they are soft and light-hearted.

"Leo I'm fine." He chuckles faintly. "If I seem distant it's because I'm trying to work out a technical problem."

"Technical problem?"

"Yup," He gestures to his computer next to him, "it decided to crash on me."

"Oh."

Well now I feel stupid. I rub my neck compulsively. I can't help but feel like I should be suspicious.

"So you are okay?" I hate myself a little for asking again. If it were Raph he would bite my head off for asking too much but Donnie just gives me a reassuring smile.

"After finally falling asleep last night, I feel like myself again."

I nod my head.

"I'm glad. Mikey needs all of us to be emotionally stable."

"Better tell Raph that." Don teases and I give him a small grin. Ironically, Raph seemed like the only emotionally stable one.

"I'd be careful if I were you; if he heard you say that he'll make sure your computer has a technical problem forever."

"What are you two gossiping about?" We jump at the sound of his voice.

"Nothing." We both say.

He looks suspicious.

"It better be nothin'." He mumbles under his breath. "We have a surprise guest asking for you." He informs us.

Donnie smiles instantly and shares a look with me and I match his grin.

April.

Donnie follows Raph out of the lab. I take a step forwards but freeze when I feel something strange. I look back over at Mikey, he's still sleeping. I shrug and then exit the lab. A red haired woman stands in the middle of the lair with a brown bag on her hip. Her hair pulls into a high pony tail on top of her head and she picks fuzz off her shirt. When she sees me her face explodes into a smile. She shoves the bag into Donnie, he gasps in surprise.

"Leo!" She exclaims and wraps her arms around me. I chuckle and return the hug.

(Mikey)

When I wake up, I realize I'm in the lab again. I am getting a little sick ending up in here.

I turn my head to find Donnie leaning against a desk and toying with a pair of pliers. I watch him for a while just playing with the tool. He looks lost in thought as he absentmindedly opens and closes it. It's a quiet side of Donnie that I sometimes catch. He can be quite playful at times.

A glass of water sits on a table close to me and I am suddenly aware of how sore my throat is. A feeling of disappointment slams into me. I remember what happened. I always have this feeling of shame and nausea after seeing a color. I forgot how much it hurts to be in their presence.

I don't know how to get them out of my head; I don't know if I can. I reach for the glass and take a sip of cold water. The liquid feels good running down my hoarse throat.

I lay back down suddenly feeling exhausted. I just woke up but I still feel tired, it's been a long three weeks. I don't want to sleep anymore, but I'm so tired. I close my eyes for a second but open them again when I hear the door. Leo saunters in.

Donnie doesn't really look at him as he walks over. However he does put his pliers down and they speak in hushed tones. I strain my ears to hear them but I can't.

I give up halfway through the conversation and my mind blanks. I stare at the ceiling above. I hate the fact that I share similarities with the ceiling, we both are cracked. It's wonder that it still holds on and survives.

"What are you two gossiping about?" Raph's voice startles me.

"Nothing." Leo and Donnie both say.

"Better be nothin'." He mumbles. "We have a surprise guest asking for you."

Donnie and Leo are happy about to hear this and they both grow huge smiles. Donnie rushes out of the room. Leo is about to follow them when he tilts his head to the side and freezes. I turn my head quickly and close my eyes. I pretend to be asleep. I wait until I hear the door close. I look back over to find myself alone.

Who's this guest? They are definitely pleased to see them whoever it is. I swing my legs over the edge of the cot to get up but I hesitate for a moment.

Maybe I should just stay in here.

Last time I got curious it came back to bite me in the shell.

I carefully get up. My leg threatens to give out but I just push more weight onto my crutch. I move to the door and hesitate to open it.

I really should just get back in the cot and take a nap…

Okay one small peek and then I'll lay back down.

I carefully open the door just enough to peek through the crack. I hear their excited voices before I see them.

All of my brothers are hovering around a woman with flame colored hair. She hands Donnie a large brown bag and wraps her arms around Leo. Leo looks surprised at first but he quickly returns the affection.

I study the woman hard. She is about the same height as my brothers, maybe a little taller. Two curls fall helplessly out of her pony tail and around her face. Her smile could give the sun a run for its money and her eyes are a lovely shade of blue green. She is very pretty but I have a strong suspicion that she has a personality that could chew a man up and spit him back out. She seems so familiar, I know her… or at least I did at one point.

"Oh it's the least I could do! I wish I could do more." I hear her say and I snap out of my trance. I scold myself for not paying attention. "Speaking of, how is he doing?"

"Better I think." Donnie responds optimistically.

"Depends on your definition of better." Raph grunts.

"I see improvements every day Raph." Donnie interjects.

I don't hear Raph's response. Instead I gasp as a whisper of a name runs through my mind.

I open the door wider and I slowly move out of the lab. They are lost in conversation and it takes them a while to notice me. I hear Leo cut off his sentence as all eyes snap towards me. I don't care; I can only see the red head in front of me. I walk up to her feeling rather unsure of myself and my mind. Her lips are parted slightly and her eyes are wide and confused.

I stop in front of her and we end up staring at each other for what feels like forever. She is frozen in place and so am I.

The name feels right. I don't know how I know it, I just do.

"A—April?"

(Raph)

My heart stops when I see Mikey. I didn't notice him coming out of the lab but all of a sudden here he is. April is practically catatonic. The others and I are just as surprised as she is.

We have no idea how he will react to April. Who knows, he might not react at all. If I'm honest I am curious.

Mikey moves slowly, limping along with his crutch getting closer and closer to her. Her mouth is open and her eyes are full of panic. Her body is tense and it almost looks like she's about to faint. Which I never thought was possible.

He hesitantly stops in front of her, his eyes lingering on her face. His face twists with uncertainty.

"A—April?" He whispers.

I feel my own mouth drop open and excitement pounds my heart.

I step forwards but April is quicker. She lets out a nervous giggle and wraps her arms around him gently. I see a couple tears run down her face. Tears of joy no doubt. He looks extremely uncomfortable but he doesn't push her away. She must notice his discomfort because she instantly retreats back but a smile still burns on her face.

"Mikey, you remember her?" Donnie asks excitedly.

"A-a little, not much."

April's joyful demeanor dims but she manages to keep her blooming smile.

"Well I'm glad you remember anything at all."

A rush of hope surges through me. For the first time since Mikey has been home I actually feel like he could come back to us. There's a chance. "Oh Mikey I'm so happy! You're finally home and now I've seen you with my own eyes! And I can't wait to tell Casey that I saw you and that you even remembered—"

"Casey?" He asks interrupting her excitement.

April pauses for a second and looks at Mikey.

"He's a friend of the family, like me." She explains.

"Was he the one in the picture?"

"You remember seeing them?" Leo inquires with astonishment.

Mikey nods. He still looks uncomfortable and I wish I could somehow make him feel more at ease. Unfortunately I have no clue how to.

"Before Purple came. I remember everything that happened."

Donnie's face scrunches into thought.

"Mikey, I don't want to push anything but why was Purple the one you reacted to? All three colors were present in the picture."

The question seems to surprise Mikey. He matches Donnie's thinking face and I almost laugh at the two squinting into space. Maybe Mikey's been watching Donnie too much. He's starting to imitate him.

"I always see them in a certain order." He whispers and looks around like he's paranoid. "Purple, Blue, and then Red."

"Why?" I ask. What does order have anything to do with it?

"I-I don't know."

It becomes awkwardly silent. I can't tell if it's because everyone is lost in thought or lost in memories. I dislike talking about what happened to him but I know it's crucial to getting him back. It just reminds me of how much I'd like to meet these bastards.

"Let's not talk about that for right now. I think it's time for a celebratory breakfast." April says cheerfully breaking the silence.

"Celebrating what?" I ask bitterly.

"Mikey of course! It's been way too glum around here and I plan to change that."

"April you don't have to—"

"Yes I do and don't try to talk me out of this Donatello." She shuts him down. He just grins and shrugs his shoulders. Smart turtle, unlike me.

"Leave it up to April to force happiness." I mumble to Leo.

"I heard that Raphael and just for that you get to help me make it."

I groan and glance at Leo. He's trying not to smile but has little success. I glare at him and it doesn't have any affect.

Ugh I hate cooking. I'm not much of a make things kind of guy unless it has an engine. Plus I won't even get to do the fun kitchen stuff. She's probably going to make me stir things, I hate stirring things. It's so boring and when I can stop?

She grabs my arm and her brown bag and practically drags me into the kitchen.

(Mikey)

Donnie's trying to hide the fact that he's watching me pick at my food but he's way too obvious. He has been very tenacious about how and what I eat. I don't know why. The colors would throw me slop from time to time and I was so hungry I didn't even care what it was. Now I can only eat certain things and I have to be sure to have enough but not too much. It's somewhat annoying. Just let a guy eat.

We are having a 'celebratory breakfast' as April calls it. The others are absolutely delighted by her company and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like her myself. I really don't remember her as much as they believe I do but I can tell I was rather fond of her. I knew that instantly when I saw her. She has a pleasant aura about her. Even Splinter sitting at the other end of the table is having a good time.

I'm not terribly hungry right now so I shove my food around my plate. They all are in too deep a conversation to notice. Well all except Donnie. The guy watches me like a hawk. He keeps nodding down at my food and giving me stern looks. I glare at him.

Apparently it's normal to eat as a family. It's another custom I forgot about. I take a little bite to appease Donnie and then I listen to the conversation around me.

I like to watch my brothers as I speak, I find them interesting. I see many similarities between them and the colors. I'm not sure if I should take comfort in that or if it scares the hell out of me.

Leo is has a lot of qualities that remind me of Blue, he's bit more refined and reserved. But he has a lot of Red in him too. For instance he takes on a leadership role between the brothers. When Splinter is not in the room it's obvious he is the one who gives orders. Red was the boss out of the colors, he expected his commands to be obeyed as does Leo.

Donnie closely resembles Purple with his exceptional intellect. I can see the same gleam of sharp brilliance in his eyes. However his temperament is vastly different. He doesn't hold himself higher because of his high IQ. He is also very kind and compassionate, when he checks on my wounds his touch is light and careful not to hurt me.

Raph is a little different. I see a lot of Red in him but he isn't in command. Raph's temper fluctuates like Red and he's a bit rougher than the other two. But it's obvious he wouldn't hurt me.

It's interesting and it's terrifying.

Their sudden laughter shoves me out of thought and I snap my attention back to them. Splinter chuckles quietly and takes a sip of his tea. His eyes fall over the rim of his cup and meet mine. He winks at me subtly and I twitch at such an action. They are all very affection towards me.

Except for Raph.

He's rather distant with me. The other two ask questions and pry into my memories. Leo and Donnie spend more time around me and have been increasingly affectionate. When Raph talks to me, he's kind but he is keeping a strong wall between us. I don't know if he's always been like this or if it's because I'm not Michelangelo anymore.

Whichever it is, it twists my stomach. I want to be closer to all of them.

"Are we really brothers?" I hear myself ask out loud. Their conversation stops mid-sentence and all eyes zoom in on me. I feel the pinch of embarrassment. I look down at my food. I didn't mean to say it so loudly.

"Of course." Leo responds first.

"How do you know?" I ask again.

"We are the same species and we share similar genes. We were all hatchlings together when we were just normal turtles." Donnie explains.

"So are we all the same age?"

"Eh yes, the time difference between each of us is small. A few minutes maybe."

"How did we get like…this?" I gesture to myself. I've always wanted to know why I'm different. I remember every time Blue would call me freak and I would shudder. Why am I a freak?

They all look to Splinter with small smiles on their faces.

"18 years ago, I was just an ordinary pet rat…"

I listen closely to the story, loving every second of hearing about my history; the mutation, how I got my name, the feud of Oroku Saki. But as much as I love it I also hate it. I can't help but feeling I'm listening to someone else's past instead of mine. They are talking about Michelangelo and his family, not me. I envy him, why can't I be him?

Why do I have the feeling that Michelangelo is dead?

(Donnie)

April went home. She promised us all that she would be back tomorrow and she asked if she could bring Casey. I was hesitant to say yes but Mikey took so well to April that I decided it should be fine. Tonight, so far, has been completely opposite to last night. Things are finally starting to look up and feel like progress.

Mikey is getting better by the day, I know it. I can see it even if Raph can't. Raph's just stuck thinking Mikey won't ever be the same.

But this great day may turn the other way real quickly. Leo, Raph, and I made the decision to start counter acting the conditioning. We first have to explain things to him, I hope he understands why we have to do this. We find him sitting on the floor in the middle of the lair, not really doing anything just staring. He does that a lot, he looks at everything intensely. He watches the three of us approaching him and I can tell he knows something is up.

"Hey Mikey, how you doing?" I ask. He looks at all of us with hesitance.

"Is everything okay?" He wonders.

"Everything's fine." Leo soothes his worries. "We have to talk to you about something."

He stares at us and it gets quiet. Raph and I look at Leo, waiting for him to explain.

"Do you remember our conversation about the masks last night? Before you saw Purple?"

Mikey nods hesitantly.

"Well the masks, they don't mean what you think they mean. The colors manipulated you into thinking these awful things about us but we think we can change that."

Leo looks at me to take over. I step forwards and kneel down next to him. He draws away from me a little.

"We are going to have to bring out our masks and we will show you that they aren't what you think."

His mouth thins and his eyes darken.

"It's the only way you are going to get better. We can help you Mikey, you just have to trust us. Can you do that?" I ask.

He nods again and I give him a warm smile.

I'm usually not one to doubt myself but God I hope this works.

(Mikey)

"Are you ready?" Leo asks as he squats down next to me. I nod my head yes and he helps me to stand up. They told me what they are going to do but I am already afraid. They explained that the colors used the masks to manipulate me and that they think they can change that. But they don't get it, I can't control the colors. Purple is not just a mask, he's inside my head. He's a part of me now and I don't know if I'll be able to get rid of him.

But for them I'll try.

Raph stands further back from us and has something in his hand that I can't see. His muscles are tense and he looks ready to leap into action if needed.

Donnie stands a couple feet in front of me.

"You trust me right?" Donnie asks softly. I can't find my own voice so I just nod instead.

"I won't hurt you." He assures me.

I nod my head but I gulp down my anticipation. He takes a deep breath and slowly takes out his purple mask.

My stomach turns at the sight of it and I am instantly glued to the color. He puts it on and ties it around his head.

My brain races and my throat compels me to scream.

Fear.

No. Don't give in.

"It's me Mikey, its Donnie."

Scream.

I whimper and Leo leans in closer to me.

"It's okay, he won't hurt you." Leo says.

Purple takes a step towards me. I try to take one back but Leo holds me in place. I start to panic.

"He won't hurt you. You don't have to fear him." Leo whispers in my ear.

It's Donnie.

It's my brother.

I just saw him. I just saw him put the mask on.

But the color gouges my brain and tingles my lungs. I'm supposed to be screaming.

He takes another step forwards and my heart races. He's going to hurt me. It's Purple.

Pain.

"No!" I exclaim fearfully. Purple stops walking towards me. He freezes in place.

"I am not going to hurt you." He says again.

That doesn't make sense. He is Purple. He has to hurt me. He's lying!

Shivers of fear ripple down my spine. I try to close my eyes but I am unsuccessful. Get away from me. I can hear his laughter echoing in my brain. He's coming and I can't escape him. I can't breathe.

"Keep coming Donnie." I hear Leo command. Where is Donnie? I notice Raph growing increasingly uncomfortable.

"Leo…"I hear Purple say.

"Come on." He says again.

"You're pushing too hard." Purple declares.

Leo shifts next to me.

Fear.

Purple takes one step closer with one hand stretched out and my brain explodes with adrenaline.

"Don't touch me!" I spit out harshly. He puts his hands up in the air and takes a step back.

"I won't, I won't touch you." He says.

I don't believe him. He's lying.

"Mikey I will never hurt you. Ever."

He's lying. He's Purple.

Fear.

Scream.

Pain.

"It's Donnie, Mikey." Leo whispers in my ear.

No it's not, it's Purple.

Well that's all I got for now! C: Sorry about my busy schedule D: Till next time!

Don't forget to review!