Chapter Fourteen

One month later

Sarah rubbed her back, while she sat at the kitchen table, checking her email in vain, once more. Like all of the past month, there was nothing on her email, and neither had a her phone received any calls from Steve. It had been one month and he had not contacted her at all. Apparently it was normal that those on active missions would not be able to contact their families.

On a practical level she could understand, but on a purely emotional level… perhaps no news was good news. So that was the only thing that kept her going for the moment.

During the last month, since she had been on maternity leave, she was bored out of her mind and had nothing better to do than worry about Steve. Mary had come and stayed with her twice. Ever since the incident at the hotel, she said she had been spooked, so she preferred staying at the house.

And it had been nice, because it had taken her mind off worrying, but only for a while. Because Mary would worry right along with her.

On her days off, Malia would drop in and spend the day with her and they would either stay home or go out for lunch. She had received such amazing support from all their friends. They were all worried, especially Danny. He was as paranoid as her about not having any news from Steve. At times she had had to calm him down.

What worried her the most was that Steve would be away for the baby's birth. She was close, another couple of weeks and she was starting to get nervous.

However today, it was a Saturday and she was getting ready for every one to come over for lunch.

Just then there was a knock on the door. When she opened it, Danny stood with Grace and Gabby, each holding a container of food in their hands.

"Hi guys. Come on in" She hugged and kissed Grace and Danny. Gabby was still a little new to the group so she greeted her with a light kiss on the cheek. "How are you doing?" Sarah asked Danny, with a smile.

"I'm good, how are you? You look gorgeous" Danny spoke as they all moved inside the house.

Sarah rubbed her tummy, "I cannot wait to get this baby out" she said, "I hope Steve is here by then".

"I know sweetie. Just know that we're all here" he slung his arm around her shoulders as they walked out onto the lanai.

"When are you due?" Gabby asked her with a smile.

Sarah sighed, "Officially another two weeks. But I think I am ready to pop any moment now".

They sat and chatted for a while, then Kono, Chin and Malia arrived. Followed by Max and Joe.

"No news?" she asked Joe as he hugged her.

"I'm sorry darlin'. Chin up, he'll be fine" he nudged her chin and winked at her. "Just remember, no news is good news".

"I know. But I cant help but be worried" she said.

"You just have to be brave. And so far you're doing great".

She looked up at Joe and saw the worry in his eyes as well, "Thank you. I'm just glad that you guys are all here".

Throughout lunch, Sarah tried to ignore the niggling backache that kept coming in waves. Two weeks back she had panicked and gone to the hospital, but it had been nothing more than Braxton Hicks contractions. It had scared the hell out of her.

She was in the living room, on the way from the bathroom, when she doubled over in pain. "Oh God baby. Please, wait a little while. Its not time yet" she rubbed her belly.

Kono saw her, rushing forward, "Sarah, you okay?" she asked as she led her to the couch.

"I think so. My back is aching and the baby just kicked really hard" she sighed as she rested on the couch.

"Are you sure you're not having contractions?" Kono looked a little worried, sitting next to her.

"I don't think so" she said, but another waive of pain hit her and she groaned, "Maybe".

"I'm getting Malia" she rushed outside.

A few minutes later, Malia walked in, her face had the expression of concentration and professionalism, "Sarah, how long have you been having the back pains?" she asked, touching her stomach.

"I've had the constant back pain since last evening" she answered with a grimace.

"Okay it could just be that you're tired. But I think you should still time the pains. How many minutes apart have they been?"

"I've only had two waives of pain. It might be Braxton Hicks. It was the last time" she said. It had been a while and there had been no more pain.

Malia shook her head, "It could be. But it's too late in your pregnancy to rule out actual labour".

"It's been a while since I felt any pain" Sarah said.

"That's good. But we're still going to keep an eye. I think you should contact the hospital and get everything ready" Malia spoke as she reached for her handbag to fish out her cell phone, "Do you have all your stuff ready?"

"Almost. But I haven't finished packing up my bag".

Kono took charge, "I'll do it. Anything specific you need?"

Sarah ran her hands through her long hair, "I have a couple of night gowns and underwear already in the bag" she said as she tried to get up, "I need to get the baby's blanket and clothes from the nursery, as well as my pillow. It's yellow with blue polka dots".

Everyone else had also entered the house, Danny coming closer, "I think you should just sit and let Kono pack your stuff".

"Danny I'm fine. I haven't had any more pain" she said but stopped and groaned as she felt another waive hit her. "Oh God".

"Okay, we need to give her room. I just spoke to the hospital and they will have a room ready for her by the time we get there" Malia said coming back into the living room.

There was a knock on the front door, "Who else was supposed to come?" Chin asked.

"Jay and Loraine. They're late as usual" She laid her head back and massaged her belly. "Can someone please get the door".

"Got it" Max yelled, rushing for the door.

Sarah closed her eyes and took in the voices around her. She could feel her nerves zinging with fear and nervousness. She'd had a feeling that she would be early, but had no idea that Steve would be away. At least her friends were here and now so was her brother.

A sudden hush fell in the room, not even a whisper of a sound passed. Sarah opened her eyes and watched as Max held the door open for Gov. Denning. She had never seen him in anything other than a suit, but now dressed in tan linen pants and a green loose shirt, he looked different but as imposing as always.

"Governor. What a surprise. We were just preparing to take Sarah to the hospital" Chin spoke. But his words didn't seem to register with the Governor.

"I need to speak to you Mrs. McGarrett" he said formally.

Sarah felt her heart start to beat faster, "Is this about Steve?" she asked, knowing the answer already.

"Yes".

"Then I think we can all be here. We're all anxious for news of him" she said as she sat up straighter, ignoring the pain. She felt Kono's hand rub her back and she was grateful for it.

The Governor came closer and uncharacteristically, crouched in front of her so he was on eye level.

Sarah could feel nausea rising up and she mundanely hoped she didn't throw up on him.

He took her hands in his large ones, "Sarah. I am sorry to bring this news to you, especially at this time" he stopped, confirming her worst fears, "Lt. Commander Steve McGarrett, your husband, was killed during his mission yesterday".

Sarah felt as if her heart had stopped dead in her chest.

The only sound that escaped her was a strangled, "What?"

-X-

Danny watched as everyone in the room collapsed around him. He had no idea how he remained standing, except that he knew he had to be strong. For Sarah.

At first the Governor's words didn't register with him. Steve was dead. His partner was dead. His friend was dead. He understood the words but he didn't want to make them real.

The only thing real was the scene in front of him.

Sarah was still on the couch, Kono sitting beside her crying. But Sarah had a lost look on her face.

She then turned those eyes to him, "Danny?" was all she said and he was beside her in a flash. "What's going on?" she asked, as if she hadn't heard the Governor's words.

Danny took her in his arms, holding her face in his hands, "He's gone sweetie". He watched as her face crumpled. Tears streamed down her face, her small hands fisting into his shirt. She had clenched her jaw and Danny could hear her silent scream.

How could he have just blurted out that her husband was dead? He should have told her more gently. God knows he'd had enough practice.

"No, no, no" she wailed quietly. "He can't leave me".

Danny didn't say anything as he rocked her. He watched as Chin sat with his head in his hands, Kono and Malia huddled next to him. Max was openly crying. He was grateful that Gabby had taken charge of Grace, who herself looked shell shocked and confused.

He turned to the Governor, "When did this happen?" he asked.

"I got the news an hour ago. It didn't feel right for anyone else but me to deliver the news".

"We appreciate it, Governor" he said, and then heard Sarah groan in pain, this time physical. Followed by wetness on the side of his thigh.

"I need Steve. The baby is coming" Sarah said, looking at Danny. Her tear washed eyes were filled with both physical and emotional pain.

"I know, Sarah. We have to get to the hospital" he then realised the wetness was her water breaking. "Malia, its time".

Danny tried to make Sarah walk, but she doubled over in pain once more. "I've got you" he said as he lifted her into his arms, praying he wouldn't drop her. He heard Malia tell the others that she would go with Danny and Sarah, while Kono and the others follow them to the hospital with her stuff.

Danny deposited Sarah into the backseat of Chin's car, all the while Sarah clenched her jaw, trying to control her pain. "Just let it go, Sarah. Scream and cry. Don't hold back." Malia soothed her.

When they reached the hospital, they were ushered into a private room. Sarah lay on the bed, crying and massaging her belly, whispering words he couldn't understand, as the doctors hooked her up to monitors and machines.

When he or Malia tried to speak to Sarah, it was as if she was lost in a trance. It was worrying because she would not answer any of the doctor's questions about how bad her contractions were. They were coming faster and she would be ready to deliver any time but she didn't listen to any one who tried to coach her through her breathing either. And she was struggling.

It was heartbreaking to see her small body shiver with pain during her contractions and then shudder with sobs. He felt helpless because there was nothing he could do.

When he touched her small fist, she looked at him, almost with hope shining in her eyes. As if she had expected to see Steve. But when she saw him, she turned her face, pulling her hand away.

She was withdrawing from everything and everyone. It was a very dangerous situation and all he could do was sit and pray that she and the baby would make it through.

-X-

Sarah felt more pain rack her body. But she couldn't seem to remember any of the breathing exercises she had learnt. Everyone around her tried to help, but she didn't want anyone near her.

She only wanted Steve. But he was not coming back.

She felt a soothing hand on her forehead. When she opened her eyes, she looked up into her brother's handsome face. "Hi baby sister" he whispered.

She didn't say anything because pain was ripping her belly in half. So she just moaned and felt more tears escape her eyes. She knew her contractions were coming faster and she hoped the pain would be over soon.

As soon as that thought came to her mind, she wanted to ignore it. If the physical pain ended, she would have to face the pain of losing Steve.

She was aware that the doctor had periodically come in to check how dilated she was. But she was not along that far the last time they had checked. She had no idea how long that had been. Whether it was hours or minutes. She was also aware that Loraine had been constantly stroking her hair, at one point braided it so it remained out of the way.

"Honey, the doctors just came in while you were dosing. They say you're ready to go to the delivery room" Jay spoke quietly.

"I can feel it" she whispered. Another contraction hit her as she screamed, trying her best to control the pain. "Jay. I need you to stay with me please. I'm so scared".

She hated admitting that to anyone, but this was her big brother. He would take care of her.

"I will not leave you" he kissed her forehead, then moved to make way for the doctor.

"Alright Sarah, you ready to have your baby?" the doctor smiled.

She only nodded as she was raked with another contraction. This time she could not control herself and screamed.

For the physical pain of labour and of losing Steve.

-X-

Jay held his baby sister's hand, amazed at the strength in her small body as she squeezed it hard.

"Come on Sarah. You need to push harder" he tried his best to encourage her.

She bore down, clenched her jaw and pushed hard. She then gasped and her grip on his hand slackened, "I cant".

"Don't say that".

She pushed again, accompanied with an ear splitting scream, "Good job Sarah. A couple more pushes" the doctor instructed.

But she started getting tired and she closed her eyes. "Sarah, wake up. You need to do this" Jay told her, making his voice harder.

"She's not being able to push. You need to get behind her and push with her" the doctor instructed.

So Jay climbed onto the bed behind her, let her back rest on his chest, "We push together, alright?" he asked her to make sure she was listening, while he gripped both her hands in his.

"I can't do it" she gasped. Her strength was waning and Jay had never seen her so dejected in his life. So, instead of cajoling he tried another tactic, "Sarah, I know you're in pain because you've lost Steve. But your baby needs you. Do you think Steve would want you to give up this way?"

"No" she said and then moaned in pain.

"Then you need to push! Got it?"

"Yes!" she yelled and pushed hard, all the while straining and yelling. The veins in her neck popped out as she strained.

"The head is out. Push again" the doctor instructed.

"Good girl, Sarah. Make me proud" Jay coached her, holding her hands and pushing with her, lending his support.

He wasn't sure how long it took, but the next thing he knew, "It's a girl! Congratulations Sarah" came the doctor's voice.

His sister collapsed against him in exhaustion, "Did you hear that? You have a daughter!" he told her as he kissed her sweaty temple.

"Let me see you, baby girl" she said softly as the nurse handed the squalling, gooey, wriggling and red baby to his sister. "Oh Jay she's beautiful" she cried.

He laughed and cried at the sight of his little niece. His first niece and he knew in his heart that she would always be special to him. Now that she had lost her father, she would always have him as her father figure.

Even when he and Loraine had their own children, this little thing would always be his special girl. "If you say so. To me she looks incredibly like a wrinkled old lady" he said in an effort to make Sarah laugh.

It worked, and for the first time since they had heard the terrible news of Steve's death, his baby sister giggled, "I don't care what you think. She's perfect".

The nurse came back, "I'll take her and clean her for you, while we get you ready to get back to your room".

"Please don't take her away from me" Sarah said sadly as she held onto her baby.

"They just need to clean her up. She'll be back with you soon" Jay reassured her.

"Mr. Morrissey, if you could inform the others, we'll get your sister ready to move back to recovery" one of the other nurses said to him. She turned to Sarah, "Have you thought of a name?" she asked.

Before he could leave, Sarah gripped his hand, "Yes, I have a name" she said as her voice turned wobbly again with fresh tears filling her eyes, "Stephania Joy McGarrett, for her dad".

Jay felt his throat close with emotion at her choice of name. "I'll make sure she's fine. You need to rest" He kissed her sweaty brow, her fringe sticking to it, her braided hair hung limply over one shoulder.

She looked exhausted and should have had the glow of happiness. But she only had sadness in her eyes.