"You can let go now." I said, wincing at her tight grip on my injured hand. The fresh air was helping sober me up and my head stopped reeling from the alcohol in my system.
"I don't want to." She said.
"Ok. Can you at least loosen up a little?"
"Oh. Sorry." She eased up on my hand a little and I felt relief. I took her hand in return.
"Why don't you want to let go?" I asked.
"It just... Feels safe. It's comforting; I need some comfort right now. Everyone seems to forget that. I feel like I just fade into the background sometimes." She responded.
"Hey, you're just as important as anyone else in the group. We're a unit."
"Maybe you guys are when you fight together, but I'm just the useless one who's terrified of everything." She said.
"Not at all. I owe you everything and more. You might not fight, but if it weren't for you I'd be dead. That's certain." I said.
"You don't owe me anything. It's just what I do. I'm useless in every other way."
"Aren't you the group's driver too?"
"Yeah, and now I have to drive twenty four hours straight with no thanks whatsoever."
"No, actually. I'll take half of it. I know the route and you'll need to rest."
"I didn't know you could drive."
"Yeah. I didn't take my test, so I don't have a license but I took all of the lessons and I can't imagine the cops are going to be pulling us over now."
"Yeah. Still it's not going to be appreciated."
"We can both not get thanked together then. It doesn't matter; the people in the background can be the most important. The others just might not see it. That's the thing about working as a unit; sometimes you don't get any recognition, but it doesn't take away from what you've done."
"Doesn't it?"
"I don't think so. We all rely on each other equally now. And I need you alone more than I would have ever needed anybody before this. Recognition is pointless, importance and efficiency of what we do is all that matters. We've all got a lot going on now. I'm way too inside my own head to remember to say thanks for the little things, even if I notice and appreciate them. I'm sure everyone else is the same."
"I suppose so."
"The thing is, you need to speak your mind when you're having trouble. I'm guilty of internalising too, but I'm trying to stop. Hopefully I'll stop cutting if I stop internalising. It's more likely to cause an issue if you don't bring it up."
"You're right. I've been really stressed out about this, I'm feeling better now." She smiled.
"Good." I smiled back at her glad I could help.
We were close to the school now. I could see viscera, scorch marks and rubble from the crash now. A few of Them were roaming around but it seemed as though this area had been deserted since the incident. I drew my sword fully and let go of Shizuka's hand. The sound of me drawing my sword got their attention and they shuffled towards me. I took a few steps forward and cut one of Them down in one swing. It crumpled and the next one fell over its associate. I drove my sword into the back of its head before it rose again and pulled through its skull. No katana was made for stabbing, so pulling it out was difficult. I struggled for a moment as the third shambled towards me. I brought my sword up and created an ineffective slash across its chest as I freed my weapon. I sliced into its head diagonally and pulled away. I wiped my sword clean on the back of a dirty white t-shirt one of Them had been wearing in their last moments of life. I made my way back to Shizuka.
"Shit. I forgot to explain this thing to you." I said, pointing to the pistol in her hands. I took it from her and showed her the safety.
"Only switch it to this position when you want to shoot. If you don't, you can't fire. Hold it like this. Keep your free hand on your wrist for stability if you want to take a ranged shot. You should only need to put this part right to their heads and pull the trigger here. I'll reload it for you if there's any need. Look down the sights with one eye and line these two bits up with each other and then aim at the target. Remember to shoot Them in the head. I think that's about it." I explained, handing it back to her.
"How much do you know about these things?" Shizuka asked.
"Only a little from my gun nut friend from before and Kohta, our new gun nut friend." I suddenly thought back to my old gun and decided to etch a triangle into the grip of my new gun, as I had before, using a sharp piece of metal under my shoe. I inspected it, oddly content with my handiwork. I don't know exactly why I did it, but it personalised the weapon in my eyes.
"Why did you do that?" Shizuka seemed pretty confused.
"I don't know really... Just personalisation I suppose." She gave me an understandably strange look.
"Anyway, the vehicles were set up around here. I imagine people will have taken off with any useable ones that are easy to see, so it might take some looking. These streets are kind of tight. I'd turn the safety off now, just in case." I instructed.
We roamed around passing burnt out corpses and vehicles as we approached the school. The destroyed building was now a sloping pile of rubble and burnt wood. I could see arms and legs of the dead that didn't quite make it out sticking out of the thinner layers of debris. Seeing them protruding in the dead of night made the sight all the more macabre. The smell of burned flesh and fuel was still present, but weaker now. There was a strangely apparent weight and thickness to the air around us, as though the catastrophe was haunting the whole area. I doubled over and coughed violently, my smoker's cough being aggravated by the stench. The dry and painful coughs wracked through my chest and tore the lining of my throat. That cough was the main thing that made me regret smoking.
"You ok?" Shizuka asked, worried.
"I'm fine, thanks. Let's go check these side roads." I stood up again. We searched for a while before coming across a vehicle that was intact a fair way down a side road.
"Thank God! I was beginning to lose hope." Shizuka exclaimed.
"Yeah, me too." I scanned the area and found one of Them feasting on a long dead corpse that had obviously tried and failed to make away with the vehicle. I slowly approached it and slashed its head open, a diagonal cut across its contorted features as it oozed thick dark red blood. I felt a pair of arms grip me, and realised one of Them had taken me by surprise. I reached for my pistol and pressed it against the creature's head. I pulled the trigger. It clicked. I hadn't reloaded since my battle at the bar. Shizuka fired a long range shot and missed completely. I couldn't reach for my shotgun as it was underneath my back.
"Point blank! It won't give you any notice." I called, struggling against the beast. I pressed the pistol to its head again so Shizuka knew exactly what I meant. She ran over to me and pressed the gun to its head. The dead, grey mass of its brain sprayed the wall to its side and I felt it put its weight on top of me.
"Thanks. That's two I owe you now. Start the engine and I'll make sure we're clear."
"Why?"
"The engine noise will attract Them. If too many get brought over, we won't be able to get out. Not with the car in a state we can get to Hokkaido in at least. Rev the engine to be sure." Shizuka revved the engine as I asked. The loud roar of the engine made me grin. I waited a while, but couldn't hear anything approaching. I got in the passenger seat.
"Let's go!" I said, smiling. Shizuka put her foot on the accelerator and we moved towards the dojo. As we passed the burnt out husks of cars and ones full of shattered glass and bloodstains we got close to the hill.
"Turn the lights off. Move slow. We don't know if Shido's on our tail." I instructed. We slowly approached the foot of the hill and got out. We walked up and saw the group smiling and standing outside of the building, arms full of packed bags. I motioned for them to come down and saw that Alice was struggling with the bags as she moved down the hill, close to falling. Saya and Rei helped Takashi limp down the slope. I walked up and took a few bags from Alice. I took them, expecting them to be quite light. I was surprised by their weight
"Some of these are really heavy. You're stronger than I thought!" I said to her. Her eyes lit up and she beamed at me. We loaded the vehicle and jumped in.
"Is it ok with everyone if we stop back at my place before we take off the whole way? I've got some unfinished business to take care of. It's on the way." I said. Everybody showed their agreement.
"Tatsuzo, can you give me directions then? You know the way, right?" Shizuka asked.
"No problem."
I directed Shizuka to my house and stood outside the door, I had instructed everyone else to stay inside. I opened the front door and stepped inside.
"Tatsuzo! Dinner's ready!"
"Ok mom!" I called back. I heard my mom giggling as Li said something most likely equal parts adorable and entertaining.
"Tatsuzo!"
"I'm coming!" I heard a shriek and a smashing sound.
"Tatsuzo!" She now screamed in fear. I placed my hand on the door of the kitchen. I opened it and saw mom, dad and Li. All undead. Li's small hands were still clutching her inhaler.
"Tatsuzo..." I heard my mother say in my mind, sounding weak as I stared into her dead, glassy eyes. I drew my katana. The sound got their attention.
"I'm sorry." I whispered, as I cut my undead mother to the ground. I sidestepped Li and cut my father's head open. All that was left of my parents were dead husks and viscera that splattered the floor. I knelt down to Li and sobbed. I reached out to her and stroked her greasy, unwashed hair one last time, gripping her tightly so she couldn't bite at me before I closed my eyes and drove my sword into her. She gurgled and fell, her inhaler clattered to the floor as her hand went limp. Their bodies lay crumpled on the floor in unnatural positions.
I was in my bedroom. Akira had just broken up with me a few days ago and I had gotten into an argument with dad. I was sitting at my computer, not paying attention to anything hoping it could provide some sort of escape. I was in a foul mood and pissed off at dad for no good reason. Li entered my room. I almost snapped at her, but I held my tongue. She gave me a hug, sensing I needed it.
"Promise me you'll get better." She said.
"I can't..."
"Promise." She said, firmly.
"I promise."
I looked at the corpses of my family lying at my feet. I was crying hysterically, tears obscuring my vision and my body heaved with each sob. I found a photo of us all in a frame on the windowsill. I took it out of the frame and looked at it. It was from the day we all went to Hokkaido, taken outside of the house just before we left. I gently and carefully ripped myself out of the photograph and set the torn piece with me on it down on the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen. I went upstairs into my room and looked around. I took the book Akira had given me and my favourite hoodie and cap. I grabbed for an old wristwatch my dad had given me on my 18th birthday. Supposedly it had belonged to his grandfather, who had passed it down with the intention of making it an heirloom to the man of the family on their 18th birthday. Seemed like he had succeeded in that so far. Strapping it around my left wrist, I threw the hoodie over my shoulder and moved into Li's room. I found one of her favourite toys, a small powder blue plastic rabbit intended for a keychain on her nightstand. It was a cheaply made thing she had bought at a convenience store down the road for more than it was worth. She had somehow made a strong connection with it and kept it with her everywhere she went. I took the chain and threaded it through part of my belt loop before stuffing the toy in my pocket. I went back downstairs, compelled to find something personal between me and mom. I stared at the open box in my parents' room. It was full of finger paintings, drawings and things from when I was young. It also had my adoption papers in it and a birth certificate. There was a similar box for Li's things, although more empty given that most of her drawings were still being displayed around the house. Looking at all of these things made what I had done so much more surreal, my tears finally stopped, as though I was unsure where reality began. Everything seemed like a nightmare now. I heard the front door open and I stepped out into the corridor, sword at the ready. I saw Saeko creeping into the entrance.
"Don't do that. You scared the crap out of me." I said, sighing with relief.
"You're taking a while. We just wanted to make sure you're ok." She said.
"I'm alive if that's what you mean. I'm definitely not ok." Saeko noticed the blood on my sword. She hesitantly put her hand on the kitchen door.
"Don't. You can guess what's in there, you don't need to see it." I searched my parents' room some more and found a CD in my box. It was a collection of lullabies and nursery songs my mother had recorded a long time ago. She wanted to be a singer when she was younger and had the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. She had come close, but never made it. She had recorded this CD for me when I was little. It had come out of the same passion for music that had instilled itself in me as she raised me.
"What's that?" Saeko asked.
"A CD Satomi made for me when they first adopted me. All my favourite lullabies and that kind of thing. She was a great singer." I responded, staring blankly at the disc.
"I'm sorry for what happened to your family."
"Me too. Let's go. I don't want to stay here any longer." We walked out to the car and got in. I put my things in the back with the rest of our equipment. As soon as I got in, the mood of the group changed. They obviously had some idea of what happened in the house. I stared out of the window for a few hours, watching us pass abandoned cars and destroyed or empty husks of buildings. I spent the time simply thinking of my family, tracing my thumb over the plastic rabbit in my pocket. I sighed and forced my mind to go elsewhere for a while. I had tread this path when I first found them and I had now released them from their condition, I should have been relieved in some way. It was supposed to be therapeutic, a sign of moving on. Maybe it was. I was feeling that same vast emptiness I did whenever I moved on to something new. Perhaps this was how it was supposed to be. Besides, I didn't want to do the same thing Takashi and Rei had to the group. I had to be present and active.
"Hey guys, cheer up. We'll be there in no time." I said, trying to sound positive. I heard Shizuka yawn as we drove and I glanced at the fuel gauge. Nearly empty.
"Shizuka, pull up at the next gas station you can find. We'll refuel and I'll take over for a while." I said.
"Are you sure?" She asked, sleepily.
"Yeah, no problem."
It was another hour before we reached a gas station. An old place that was probably pretty run down before all of this.
"Is this another prepaid pump?" Takashi asked, lying across the back seat, propping his sprained ankle up while Zeke rested on his chest.
"No. This place looks pretty old school. I don't think prepaid would work at all without electricity, so we're in luck." I said. I took the pump and began to fill the tank. Or that's what should have happened. Instead no gas came out at all. I took it out of the tank and attempted to pump again. A small trickle of leftover petrol leaked out.
"Damn it. Either the pump's out or it needed electricity anyway." I announced. Saya shot me a look.
"What? I don't know how these things work. Anyway, let's see if they have any cans of gas. If not we're going to have to siphon what we need."
"I need to pee." Alice declared, bouncing around anxiously.
"Saeko, can you take her around the side? Hopefully there's a bathroom. Is anyone hungry? I'm sure we can grab a few things in the store." I suggested. Kohta's stomach audibly rumbled in agreement. Everyone nodded.
"Alright. Let's see what we can find. Turn the place upside down to find gas. Siphoning would be really tough and pretty risky given that we won't get a whole lot." We went into the small, deserted storefront to find it had been mostly picked apart. I found a corpse in the corner with a familiar empty container of medication in their hands.
"Isn't that the same medicine you take for your back pain?" Shizuka asked me.
"Yeah. It's strong stuff. He'll have gone pretty peacefully." I mumbled, distracted by trying to find something useful.
"There's no gas here. Let's just grab some food and a hose and get out of here." I said. We all snatched whatever snacks we could find and left.
"Looking for something?" Saeko smiled, holding up a red canister of gas with a length of black pipe on top. Alice giggled happily.
"Where did you find that?" I asked.
"Round the back. There's loads of it. I took what I could. The back's loaded." She said.
"Ok. Are we all ready?" I asked. Everyone gave their form of agreement. Shizuka sat in the back now and I took to the wheel and started the ignition.
"Oh. This is weird." I said as I pressed my foot against the accelerator and the car didn't move.
"The pedals are different. The clutch is there and the accelerator and brake are over here and there." Shizuka said, pointing to the corresponding pedals.
"Ok. Thanks." I started the car and stalled immediately. Everyone groaned.
"Sorry guys, I forgot it was different." I said. I pulled out again. Slowly this time until I was confident that I knew the pedal configuration. I habitually looked over my shoulder for traffic, instead seeing most of the group in the back.
"That's right." I laughed out loud at myself.
"What?" Rei asked.
"I was looking for other moving cars." Rei laughed too. We pressed on as Kohta started teaching Alice a gun-obsessed variation on some song. I wasn't really paying attention to it. I was far more inexperienced at driving and found myself really focusing on the road and blocking out all conversation. Even then I found myself stalling a few times.
I drove until the sun began to set again. I had no energy left and we were only a few hours away.
"Shizuka, mind if we swap again? I can't manage any more. We're a few hours out; if you just keep following this road you'll see signs for the airport. Follow them and you should get there no problem." I said, tired.
"Sure. Pull over and we'll switch." I pulled to the side of the road, parking in a gap in an almost orderly line of abandoned cars. I got out and Shizuka took over. I took her seat, between Saya and Saeko. I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost immediately, rocked by the gentle motions of the vehicle. The girls must have been as tired as I was, as I awoke to see Saya asleep on my shoulder and Saeko resting her head in my lap. Saeko snapped awake alarmingly, jostling me. My movement woke Saya. She looked at me and moved away, embarrassed.
"What?" I asked, self-conscious.
"Not you. Saeko's been drooling again." She said. Saeko looked shocked and extremely embarrassed.
"Again?" I enquired,
"Yeah. Never mind." Saya said, dismissively. Saeko wiped her mouth and looked at the seat. She groaned as her eyes confirmed what Saya had said.
"Sorry..." She muttered.
"Gross." I said, feigning disgust. I wasn't actually that bothered by it. She hit me on the arm gently, still looking very embarrassed. I grinned at her and she realised I was just messing with her. She hit me again. I just laughed quietly. She smiled and I pointed.
"The airport's over there." I could see the tall wire fence in the distance and silhouettes of people moving around.
We approached one of the gates after a few more minutes of driving. Met by uniformed American military personnel trying to communicate in Japanese so broken even I couldn't figure out what they were trying to say. These soldiers must have been new to Japan, they looked pretty young and as though they were fresh out of training.
"I'll handle this." I said to a stressed Shizuka who looked nanoseconds away from pulling her hair out. I got out of the vehicle and they trained their weapons on me yelling something nonsensical, they were very on edge. I raised my hands to the air.
"Tell me in English. I'll let the others know." I said in English. They looked shocked at my American accent and fluency.
"Leave your belongings in the vehicle and go over there to get checked for bites. Take this ticket and come back here for your personal belongings after that. You'll get something after the check to confirm that you're clear. You'll need to show that too." The more senior of the soldiers said. He was sporting a shaved head and a pair of aviator sunglasses, even though it was the dead of night. I almost laughed aloud; I had found a living cliché. I took the ticket.
"Do you have anything to help my friend? He's sprained his ankle." I asked. The man nodded and walked off for a minute. He came back with a pair of crude wooden crutches.
"Thank you sir." I said, walking back to the car.
"Everyone out. We need to get checked over and we'll get our things back later." I said. I handed the crutches to Takashi and he hobbled out with the rest of us and we moved towards the small outbuilding the soldier had pointed out.
"What do you think they'll do when they see the scratch?" Saya asked.
"I won't be the first they've seen. My guess is they'll keep me behind for tests or something. Probably make sure I'm clear of the illness." I said.
"That would make sense." Takashi agreed. We went into the small outbuilding and were stopped by a soldier. This one had really short hair and a face like a bulldog. He seemed pissed off already. He threw the door open and impatiently ushered us in with a movement of his rifle. We filed in to a white tiled room with showerheads lining the walls. Three other personnel stood, seeming to be non-combatants and far less imposing than their guard, most likely doctors or field medics.
"Undress please." One of them requested.
"Right here in front of the others?" I asked.
"Yes. We have limited time and resources, privacy was sacrificed for efficiency." Another one said in English with a grating, nasally voice. He had hawk-like eyes and glasses with very thick lenses. The soldier repeated something similar in Japanese with a snarl, reading all of our faces.
"Please remove all bandages too." The first man said, looking at my hand.
"You can put your clothes here." The third person said, indicating to a bench. She was a chubby black haired woman who didn't seem to be part of the military. I was curious as to her involvement with this, but thought it best not to ask this question yet and took my cap and hoodie off. Takashi sat on the bench to undress, unable to stand. Everyone else took their jackets and extra articles off too and I began to undress. I then removed the bandage on my left hand, showing the cut from the glass. I pointed to the bandages currently covering my scars and indicated to Saeko as she began to unbutton her shirt. She and Rei took Alice's attention away and helped her get ready to be checked as I revealed my arms. The woman made a curious sound as she inspected the scars as though she was fascinated by it. I turned to my side and showed them the scratch that ran from my shoulder to just above the side of my elbow on my right arm.
"You're an interesting one. You'll need to stay behind a few minutes." The first man said. I nodded.
"Come here." The woman instructed. I approached her and she bandaged my arms for me.
"Thank you." I said.
"You're not done. Everything needs to be off. You can get bitten anywhere." She said. I looked to another to confirm this and they nodded. I rolled my eyes and complied, standing completely naked now. She gave me a cursory glance, nodded and I rushed to put my underwear back on.
"Leave your shirt off for now. We need to inspect that scratch some more." The woman said.
"Don't humiliate the boy. He can show us the scratch more later." The first man said in English, not knowing I could speak it. I recognised a British accent on him.
"Ok. Put it back on then." She said to me. Everyone else was putting their clothes back on too.
"How long will this take? I just want to know if my friends should go or wait for me." I asked.
"Just a few minutes. Mainly we have a proposal for you." The English man said. His Japanese was flawless and I was impressed by his accent as he spoke. The soldier led the others out.
"We'll wait for you." Saeko said.
"Ok."
"Right. Let's look at that scratch." The English doctor said, rubbing his hands together rather gleefully. I revealed the scratch. He looked at it carefully, holding some kind of magnifying glass to it.
"No visual signs of infection. Tell me if this hurts." He said, prodding the wound.
"Ow. Yeah, that hurt." I said, wincing.
"Good. If you were still infected the wound would be numb." He explained.
"So, what do you know about this then?" The woman asked.
"I know it's some sort of joint symbiosis between a parasite and some strain of bacterium." I said.
"Almost. It's actually a previously unknown parasite working with a mutated form of the common cold virus. Do you know the purpose of each?" She asked.
"Yes. The virus weakens your body or kills you and the parasite either finishes the job or just reanimates you."
"Impressive. Where did you get all this?"
"Tokonosu General Hospital had some research notes."
"You've travelled pretty far to get here then."
"Yeah. One of the evacuation flights to Shintoko Elementary crashed. We were supposed to be on it, so I knew we had to get here. Where we stayed got less and less safe until we had no choice but to leave."
"I would hazard a guess and say you're the leader figure then?"
"What's your point?" I asked. The English man laughed.
"The boy's onto you. He's a sharp one." He said to her in English.
"I'm nothing compared to the pink haired girl that was with us." I said in English. The second man perked up as the others were overcome with shock.
"Well, aren't you just full of surprises?" He grinned creepily.
"So I'm told." I said, coldly. I could tell they were trying to get me to drop my defenses and manipulate me into something. They were leading me on.
"So you're the leader, yes?" The woman asked in English now.
"Maybe. What are you trying to get me to do?" I asked, still cautious. The second man laughed hysterically.
"I like this one." He wheezed.
"I know when I'm being led on. Get to the point." I said, impatiently.
"Ok. So you want to be a good role model and protect your family, right?"
"They're not my family. Get on with it." I said. The nasal voiced man laughed again.
"Dear God, I hope he agrees. I need a good sense of humour."
"I just brighten your day, don't I?" I said, sarcastically.
"You'd better watch your mouth, boy. If I hadn't taken such a shine to you I could have put you in a lot of trouble." He said. His bird-like features hardened a little but I was unaffected.
"Right. We're trying to research a cure. We have two research groups and it would help us immensely if you would join one. You would be helping to save humanity."
"What does it entail?"
"One would be tests to research the virus, but there's probably not much progress we can make there. The other one would be researching the parasite. We'd have to put it inside you with our other subjects. We have no idea what it'll do and there's a good chance you'll die. But it could help us unlock the secret to a vaccine, and maybe even immortality some day." She said.
"How much would you need me?" I asked.
"The virus research group would just need half an hour each week. The parasite research would be all day every day indefinitely."
"I'll join the virus research. I'm not dying for some long shot at playing god." I said.
"Are you sure? Your sacrifice and aid will help all of humanity, you would be written about in history books. You would help the human race become gods."
"The human race isn't supposed to be gods. I'm as afraid of death as the next person, but I've been face to face with it every day recently as we all have. Perhaps it's not such a curse. I'm helping virus research." I said, firmly. The English one perked up now. The other two looked defeated.
"I'm Doctor James Clare. I'll be seeing you on Sunday for virus research. I run the group. These two crazies are in charge of parasite research." He said, warmly.
"Levi Adams." I said.
"Just ask somebody where the virus research group meets on Sunday and you'll get some directions. Any half an hour you may have free on a Sunday and you can drop by. There's minimal personal risk. You'll be helping humanity more this way." He dropped to a whisper with his final point. He handed me a blue ticket and I smiled at him.
"See you on Sunday then Dr. Clare." I said. I threw my shirt back on and grabbed the things I had left on the bench and exited the outbuilding.