Chapter 14: Make It Hurt

Chapter Summary:

Picking up where the last chapter left off... They'll both connect on an even deeper level.

Chapter Notes:

*Trigger warning* This starts out sweet and smutty, but gets just a little rough toward the end (like, mildly rough - like hair pulling and biting)... Again, baby steps...

"Yeah, Princess, it was fucking amazing." She looks adorably proud of herself, and I can't help but smile at her for it. I sit back up and bring my hand up to cup her cheek. "You're fucking amazing."

She turns her head and kisses my palm. "I'm glad." She shrugs her shoulders a bit, then moans at the sensation of the knots tugging between her legs again.

"Okay, we've gotta get your arms free." I start deftly untying the knots, in reverse order of how they were tied. As I start disengaging the knots by her torso, I take a nipple into my mouth and suck, reveling in each mewl and whimper I draw out of her.

With both sides undone, the pressure against her clit is gone, and she moans in protest of the absence of contact. I help her stand up, and when she finds her feet, I keep her legs spread apart for a brief moment so I can dip my tongue into her folds and give her a rewarding (but still cruelly teasing) lick over her clit. She bucks her hips forward, but I shake my head, "Soon, Princess, soon. But I've gotta release your arms first."

"Yes, Sir." God, her compliance blows my fucking mind. I can feel myself hardening up already, despite the fact that Clarke effectively emptied me.

I walk around behind her and quickly undo the rest of the knots. She groans in relief, seemingly grateful for the return of freedom.

"Shit, were you hurting, Clarke?"

She shakes her head, "No, not at all. It's more like, they're free to move again. It's nice." She brings her arms in front of her and inspects the marks left on her arms. She looks entranced. "It's beautiful." I'm surprised by her reaction, honestly. I mean, she said she wanted to see the indents, but I didn't realize just how much she wanted them. I've had play partners who liked the pattern after removal, but none of them have looked so appreciatively at the indentations. I toss the rope to the side and step closer to her again. I take one of her arms in my hands and start leaving kisses along the rope lines. She lifts her other arm and tangles her hand in my hair. I walk us back over to the bed.

She still has smears of my come on her neck that I think she forgot about. "You're still wearing me, Princess," I whisper against her ear. She looks sheepish at first, but quickly sheds her timidity. She wipes at her neck with her finger, catching it with her finger, then looks me in the eye while she pops it in her mouth and moans in appreciation. I hear myself growl, unable to suppress the primitive side of me as I attack her neck. She shrieks, then pushes my face away, removing my mouth from her neck.

"Hey, hey, hey – Remember that bone I said I had to pick with you?"

I nod as she grabs a wet wipe from a drawer in her nightstand and brings it up to wipe at her neck, removing the makeup she had to use to cover up the numerous hickeys and bite marks on her neck. I'll be honest, my dick twitches a bit at the sight of my marks all over her. There's the animal in me, again.

She rolls her eyes. "Alex flipped out when she saw this, Bellamy!" She is trying to sound serious, but I can't help but smirk at her exasperation. She shoves half-heartedly at my shoulder, "Now she thinks that women in labor have a tendency to bite!"

"What? How the hell did she come to that conclusion?" I'm laughing at the absurdity of that statement.

"I may have told her that a patient bit me while she was in labor."

I double over in laughter at this point, unable to contain myself. "You told her you got bit at work?!"

She rolls her eyes, "Well, I certainly didn't tell her that I got it while having my brains fucked out!"

"Good point... But, I still like biting you there." I lean over to suck at the mark. And yeah, maybe I amtrying to make it a little darker…

She shivers, "Fuck... Yeah, I like it, too. Like, I really like it. Sometimes I find myself just thinking about it for no reason. Or, I'll be stroking it with my fingers without realizing it…" After a few moments of thought, she continues, "Okay, here's a compromise – you can still bite me there, but you have to buy me refills for the foundation for my airbrush."

I can live with that. "Deal." I laugh again… "But really, I'm not sure that laboring women don't have a tendency to bite. I mean, it's kind of an intense thing."

"True. But I've never been bitten at work before. She was a little freaked."

"Okay Princess, come back to me… Come back to this..." I kiss the side of her neck, licking under her ear and sucking her earlobe into my mouth.

"Mmmm, god Bell, that feels good…" She suddenly straightens up again, "Oh, I want to see the pictures! Please?!" If I didn't know any better, I would feel self-conscious by how distractible she is right now.

I grab the camera from the dresser. I push her onto the bed and she falls back. I can't fight the grin on my face when I see her tits bounce as her back hits the mattress. I gesture toward the head of the bed, and she scoots herself up until her head is at the pillows. I sit next to her on the mattress, facing the head of the bed, and I start trailing my fingers up her inner thigh, starting at her knees. Her legs fall open of their own volition and she groans loudly. "Shhhhhh, Princess, do you want to wake up the other occupant of this apartment?"

"Fuuuck, you're right..."

"You've gotta be quiet, Princess. Think you can do that?"

She sighs frustedly and nods her head, "I can fucking try…"

I bring my hands to her folds and I sneak my fingers in between them, dipping two fingers inside of her. I hand her the camera and she flips it on. When she sees the first picture, her breath hitches and I feel her clench around my fingers. She moans, "ohhh, that's gorgeous." As she flips through them, she gets even wetter. I can feel a new surge of juices as she looks at the photos of herself, bound and helpless.

"You weren't kidding Princess, you're fucking dripping wet." I twist my fingers inside of her and she groans again. "Shhhhhh, remember. Quiet."

"Fuck, Bell... I don't know if I can."

"Consider the fact that I'll have to stop if we wake Alex up."

"Okay, I'll try really hard."

"You'll try really hard what?"

"I'll try really hard, Sir."

"Good girl."

"Thank y-you, Sir." She's stuttering already, and I haven't even really gotten started on her.

"So tell me Princess, what is in those pictures that turns you on so much? Because I can feel you getting more and more wet while you flip through those photos." I really want to hear what she likes about them, though I will ask her again when I'm not fucking her with my hands. It'll be interesting to see what kind of answers she comes up in different states of arousal.

"Oh, god… it's just fucking beautiful. The pattern is beautiful, so I feel beautif-f-ful!" I crook my fingers in a come-hither motion, knowing I'm grazing her g-spot. She cries out, not quite as loud as before, but still, we've gotta nip that in the bud…

"Shhhhh… Or I'll have to stop." At that, I still my fingers inside of her, and she huffs in frustration.

"Okay… quiet… I can do that, Sir." My cock twitches at the way she says 'Sir.' I can't believe how quickly she'll get me hard again. When she initially called me 'Sir,' I could still hear the resistance, and half the time it was nearly sarcastic. Now, she's embraced it. Hearing the title on her lips gives me a surge of power. She's further embracing her submission, and I want nothing more than to reward the fuck out of her for it.

"So continue. Look at the pictures and tell me what you were feeling when I took them."

"I felt helpless, but somehow empowered. That makes no fucking sense…"

"What else?"

"When I felt the knots over my clit, it was incredible. Like, I felt like I was being rewarded. So that made me feel happy."

"Good, I'm glad. I want you to be happy." I move my fingers a little inside of her, and she gives a soft but satisfied moan. "What else, Princess? Tell me what you meant by helpless."

"I knew I was absolutely at your mercy, but I know you're not merciless. You're fair. Was that what the clit thing was for? If I pleasured you, you pleasured me, Sir?" (Another cock twitch)

"Yeah, Princess, that was the idea. But there was no 'if' about it – I knew you'd deliver."

"It was perfect, Sir." There she goes with "Sir" again. I start moving my fingers in and out, in a slow sawing motion, making sure to give ample attention to her g-spot. She starts to moan again, and it's threatening to get loud. I grab a pillow and hand it to her.

"Princess, you're going to have trouble when you come, so keep this handy and scream into it at that point." I can't help but feel ridiculously proud of the fact that she can't control herself when I make her come; that every sound coming out of her is because of me, and for me. "BUT, you still have to be quiet until then. That's the new rule for tonight."

She nods her head. "Yes, Sir."

"And you know the other rule?"

She's panting, "I can't come until you let me, Sir."

"Good girl." She clenches her muscles around my fingers. "Hands above your head – hang onto the headboard for me. Keep them there." She complies at once. I position myself like before – on my stomach between her legs, my face right in front of her cunt. I blow a soft puff of air on it, watching it pucker up. I look up at her face and she's got her eyes closed, biting her lip in that sexy-as-fuck way that makes me groan (quietly, of course).

She interrupts, "Sir, what about the pillow?"

"You can move a hand to pick up the pillow when I give you permission to come. I'll let you know."

"Yes, Sir." I grind my hips involuntarily into her bed at 'Sir' and I'm thankful that her bed linens aren't scratchy. I remove my fingers, then I take my tongue and dip it into her cunt, reveling in the obscene amount of her juices. I slurp it up loudly and look up at her, just to see her reaction when she hears how wet she is. She hitches her breath and her mouth drops open.

"Is it turning you on, hearing me lapping you up?" She nods quickly. "When you hear how wet you are, does it make you wetter?" She pauses briefly, then nods again. "Use your words, Princess."

"Y-yes, Sir," she pants.

When she's writhing in front of me, even though I'm not even physically touching her, I'm reminded of how wonderfully she responds to dirty talk. Maybe I should have been more verbal when she was sucking my cock, but I was way too far gone for that.

"Do you know how good you taste, Princess?"

"Y-you made me taste myself, Sir, remember?" I groan at the memory of her sucking her own juices off my fingers last weekend.

"Fuck, yeah, I remember, Princess. You taste like fucking paradise. You taste like you feel – like bliss." I look down to see her cunt clenching again, trying to draw something, anything, into it. I wrap my arms under her thighs then bring my forearms over her hips (for when I inevitably have to hold her still). I bring my hands over her pussy to continue my ministrations. I dip one finger on each hand to stretch her open again so I can lick her depths. She loved it every time I did it last weekend, so I think I'll be doing that many times in the foreseeable future. She told me last weekend, "Bell, you were blessed with a long, strong tongue. And I couldn't be happier to benefit from it." A surge of pride washes through me when she growls as I'm stroking her inner walls with my strong tongue, writhing it inside of her to match her writhing under my arms. My favorite part of this technique is when I pull my fingers out while my tongue is deep inside of her, feeling her walls swallowing my tongue while a surge of juices flows down to meet it. I feel her walls lightly fluttering around my tongue already, so I pinch both of her inner thighs in a warning that she's not allowed to come yet.

She is doing an admirable job trying to stay quiet. The tendons in her neck look like they're going to pop from the strain, though. I give her some mercy, moving over to her thigh to suck on a mark that's still there from this weekend. She sighs in relief. "You're doing so good, Princess. So good."

She breathlessly replies, "Thank you, Sir." I'm completely hard already, and I want to fuck the hell out of her, so I'm going to be a gentleman and her come. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I want to impale her cunt with my cock. (No, it has everything to do with that...)

I bring my mouth back to her cunt while I slip two fingers back in, vigorously pumping them in and out, stroking her g-spot mercilessly. I use the strong tip of my tongue to lick circles around her clit, but not touching it yet. Then I flick her engorged bundle of nerves lightly with my tongue and she attempts to surge her hips into my mouth. She's got nothing on the strength of my arms, though, which frustrates her to no end…

Finally, finally, I close my mouth over her throbbing clit and her entire body shakes in gratitude. Like an obedient girl, she's not coming yet, but I can tell she's painfully close.

"Ohhhh, f-ffuck, I, I, I'm-m-mmmmm—PLEASE, please!" she's sobbing her pleas. I tug a little at her clit before I lift off, replacing my tongue with my thumb.

"Okay, Princess. You can grab the pillow now." She does so, breathing fast and hard, but obediently holding off on her orgasm. I taste her again, quickly, then bring my head up to whisper against her, "You have my permission – come for me, Princess..."

Holding the pillow tightly against her face, she screams into it while her cunt spasms around my fingers. I don't give her a moment to recover before I'm on top of her. She's still in the midst of a powerful orgasm when I thrust my cock straight into her, sheathing myself completely. I hear her scream even louder into the pillow as she wraps her legs around me, somehow managing to graze one foot to my shoulder blade while the other one wraps around my ass, crushing me into her. I pause for a second because I will straight-up blow my load immediately if I don't take a moment to compose myself. Said composure is not easily obtained, since her cunt is still spasming furiously around my cock.

I rip the pillow off of her face so I can swallow the moans I'm drawing out of her. I kiss her deeply and passionately and she responds in kind. Never have I had a more perfect match in bed, and I thank whatever deity that brought her back to me.

"I'm gonna fuck you now…" I can hear the desperation in my own voice. "And, I- I won't be able to be gentle…"

"Oh GOD, please... Fuck me... Fuck me HARD!" She is whisper-shouting, which would make me laugh if I wasn't so desperate to do exactly what she asks – I am going to the fuck the hell out of her.

"I'm gonna fuck you hard… Gonna fuck you fast, and I'm gonna Fuck. You. Deep, Princess." I grind into her in rhythm with my words, punctuating them with agonizing pleasure for both of us, my pelvis pressing into her clit. "You've been a good girl, such a good girl. As a reward, you have my permission to come as soon as you want, as many times as you want."

"Ohhhhh... GOD, make it ROUGH." And I snap. Rough is exactly the right word, but it was a word I didn't want to scare her with. But since she said it… I pull out, almost to the tip, then plunge back into her. Just as promised, hard and rough. I immediately pull back out, repeating the motion – pulling almost all the way out, snapping my hips back into her. I set a punishing rhythm and she meets me for every thrust. Neither of us will last long, but I have to hold out at until she falls apart atleast once.

And as if she's reading my mind, I feel her walls fluttering hard around me, and it feels like fucking heaven. "That's right, that's my good girl… Come on my cock… fuck, yes, your cunt is so good. Your cunt is fucking me like a slut..."

She's growling, "Fuck, I'm YOURS, I'm YOUR slut!"

"That's right, MY slut... My GOOD little slut..." I'm pulling on her hair to expose her neck, because I caught sight of my bite mark, and I can't resist doing it again. I sink my teeth into her, growling like the fucking animal she's turned me into.

"Oh, god... bite me... PLEASE, Mark me as yours!" She's sobbing. I pull her hair harder, by instinct, and I abruptly release, concerned that I just hurt her. I didn't warn her that I was going to do it. "NO, Pull again... Pull my hair... Make it HURT!" I'm completely floored by her request, but more than happy to oblige.

I growl in response before fisting my hands through her hair and jerking her neck back. Tears come to her eyes, and again I'm alarmed that I've crossed a line until her next vocalizations – "God, YES, like that... FUCK, Do it again... Give me more..." I indulge, and the sight of her below me, in tears and embracing the pain I'm giving her, is about to be my undoing.

"Goddamnit, Princess, you're so fucking incredible." I fist my hand even tighter into her hair, pulling back again so I can bite hard into her neck, while my other hand pinches a nipple and twists hard. Her arms have left the headboard, but I couldn't be more pleased when she brings them down to inflict her own pain on me. With one hand, she tangles her fingers in my hair and pulls my head back so she can bring my lips down on hers. She takes my lower lip between her teeth and bites hard, pulling it away from my face. I'm too blissed out to know whether or not she drew blood, because I feel the fingernails on her other hand digging hard into the skin on my back and dragging across. She definitely broke skin there. She releases my lip as she throws her head back. The pain she's inflicting on me is fucking delicious.

I'm doing my best not to shout out, but I'm unsure if I was able to suppress the volume, "Fuck, FUCK, Clarke, come for me, baby. Open your eyes and come for me... I NEED to see you come for me like this. I need YOU, Clarke." I need to know this is okay. I need to know I didn't go too far. I need to know this is bringing her as much pleasure as it's bringing me.

And at my command, her entire body tenses underneath and around me, a silent scream dying on her lips while her eyes roll back in her head. Tears flood her eyes while her cunt spasms powerfully around me, bringing me over the edge with her. Her nails are still drawing blood on my back and she's still coming as I thrust twice more and empty myself completely, as deep into her as my cock can reach.

I collapse on top of her, unable to move. Her chest is heaving underneath me while her hands begin to relax against my back and scalp. The spasms in her cunt have slowed, and now I can feel her walls contracting sporadically with the aftershocks of her orgasm.

"Bell, I can't breathe." She pushes her hands against me, and I manage to roll myself off of her to her side. My head is resting on my bicep, which I curl so I can soothe her scalp with my fingers. My other arm is slung limp over her waist, my fingers caressing her side gently. She throws one arm over her eyes and the other is resting over my arm over her waist.

The heaving in her chest takes on a different rhythm, and she breaks into a sob. If I wasn't aware of the fact that she's going through a highly emotional sexual awakening, I would develop a complex with how much she cries after sex. Instead, I feel privileged to be the one she chose to guide her through it.

Through her submission to me, Clarke has secured a power over me that I didn't know was possible. I never saw it coming. This is the exact moment I comprehend exactly what she means to me. I know she's it for me, and there will never be another. No one will ever have me like she does. That's sappy as fuck, but it's true. It's overwhelming to know this after three days, but at the same time, I've known Clarke for nearly 15 years. I know who she is. I've loved her as long as I've known her in one context or another.

This here – what we had tonight, the depth of the connection between us – it was the final missing piece of our puzzle. There's no way in hell I can tell her all this now. The last thing I need to do is scare her away. For fuck's sake, I'm scared. I still need to process it, but there's a peace in knowing.

Back to Clarke – she's crying, which snaps me right out of my haze. I gently pull her arm away from her eyes. "Talk to me, Clarke. What's going on?" She blinks rapidly, trying to clear the tears from her eyes while I brush her tears away with my thumb.

"What the fuck is wrong with me, Bellamy?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing is wrong with you."

"No, I'm fucked up. I just had the most intense, mind-blowing orgasm of my entire life, and it was because you hurt me."

I swallow the knot in my throat. "Clarke, I'm so sorry."

"NO, Bell, it's not like that. You hurt me, but you didn't harm me. Okay? It was good. It was perfect." More tears are forming as she cries again. "If I'm not fucked up, I don't know what this is. Why do I want you to control me in here? Why do I want you to give me pain? Why do I want to be hurt? Why do I get a thrill in my chest when you call me a slut?"

I kiss her temple. "Clarke, it's not fucked up. It's a sexual preference. I can't definitively tell you what you are feeling. It's subjective. I think you fear weakness, and for a long time, it's been drilled into your head that wanting those things – to submit, to take pain, to be called a 'slut' – is something weak people want. But I can tell you that it has nothing to do with being weak"

She furrows her brows. "Explain what you mean by that."

"Okay, this is from my point of view. When you submit to me, I believe you are doing it from a place of strength, Clarke. You wouldn't choose just anyone to take control. You would be discriminating in a partner. You chose me, you gave me a gift. You have the power to decide if I'm worthy of it. I cherish that, as sappy as that sounds. I think you chose me because you know I respect the hell out of you. Because, Clarke, there is no one on this planet I respect more than you. You know that, right?"

She nods slowly, "I mean, I've always known you respect me. It's a little surprising to hear that I'm the person you respect most. That's big."

"It is. But back to my point, you would never choose someone to dominate you in the bedroom who didn't respect you outside of it. You are strong, intelligent, and a formidable opponent in a game of wits." She smiles at that. "I love that about you. You don't take my shit, you call me out when I'm being a dick." She huffs out a laugh, which is a step in a good direction. "You're able to let that go when we're in here, and I think that's because you trust that beneath it all, I my respect for you, my trust in you, remains unshaken."

"I think you're right. I understood wanting to give up control – It's a chance to not shoulder responsibility that threatens to crush me on a daily basis. I get that. It has just been hard to grasp why I want it so badly... And then it scares me that I know that I will never want anyone else to do what I let you do."

My breath hitches a bit when she says that. At least I know we're on the same page with this, but I don't think either of us is ready to go all-in with admissions yet. "It scares me, too. I don't want anyone else to take my place with you… And I don't want anyone to try to take your place with me."

She nods, but doesn't say anything further. Our words weren't exactly "I will love you forever and ever" or sappy shit like that, but it's an honest admission of what's going on. I'm not ready to say it, even if I know it's true. I'm not ready to hear it, either.

"Okay, what about the slut thing? That's such a degrading term, and offensive. But for some reason, it turns me on like crazy." I smirk at that, because I love calling her a slut in the bedroom.

"Alright, so before all this, a 'slut' was what? A pejorative term, right? There are a lot of different reasons that someone likes to be called a slut in our context. Some people are "owning" the term, like making it a positive. Like when you would take pride when someone called you a bitch?" She laughs at that memory.

I smirk at what I'm going to say next, but still feel oddly worried it might get me in trouble. "I likecalling you a slut in bed. Well, I like calling you my slut. I have my own reasons." She looks at me, eyebrows raised, waiting for me to elaborate. "It's because it's something that's just ours. I didn't call other partners a slut, it never occurred to me to be so possessive. Like, they would call themselves 'slut' but I didn't reciprocate. And it's not because I thought it would be disrespectful to affirm it, it was more like I just didn't care. It wasn't until I heard you that morning, resisting it, that I found myself craving to hear it from your lips. It felt like you were embracing something within yourself, something I unleashed, and it was mine." I run my hand through my hair, probably making it more wild than it already is.

"That kind of hits the nail on the head for me. Like, I was embracing the fact that, for some reason, I want to be allowed to want dirty things, like a slut would. And it's you who makes me feel safe enough to admit it, safe enough to want them."

I kiss the side of her head again, whispering against her skin, "You will always be safe with me." She turns her head to face me.

"I know, Bellamy. Thank you for that." She puts her hand on my cheek and gently pulls me forward to press her lips to mine. It's a slow, but passionate and extremely powerful kiss, especially after what we've just discussed. Like we're sealing an understanding.

She's nodding off to sleep now, caged protectively in my arms. She says sleepily, "I still want to talk about pain, but I'm getting tired."

I huff a laugh and nod, "yeah, I'm fucking spent…" I feel a thrill when she smirks with a look of well-deserved pride. As I feel her breathing even out, a sense of peace overwhelms me.

Yeah, she's it for me.

Chapter End Notes:

So that happened... It's not intensely rough sex, but baby steps and all that. For those of you wanting ROUGH rough, that's something Bellamy would have to gradually expose her to. We may get there, if it feels right.

Keep the reviews coming, everyone! When I finish off a chapter, I'm like, "ugh, I need a break..." Then a review pops up in my inbox, and I'm like "YES, I should definitely start the next chapter!"