(5.06, I Believe The Children Are Our Future)
Being an action figure for several minutes was unsettling at the very least, Castiel decided. Because for minutes, he was suspended of anything but hearing, seeing, and thinking. He heard Sam and Dean talk to the young cambion called Jesse. The brothers told him the truth above all things. That Jesse wasn't fully human. He was part demon and so very powerful. And dangerous. Jesse demonstrated his power by exorcising his demon sire from his human mother with just a thought. Dean talked about training the boy and that Jesse would have to leave his parents. The thought was jarring to Castiel, because that was what he was trying to prevent with his own offspring.
Jesse went upstairs and only a short time later did the Winchesters follow him up. Then Castiel was snapped back from his plastic encasing and he was standing there, the demon knife in his hand. Jesse was there in front of him, several feet away near the kitchen. Both Winchester brothers were still upstairs, checking to see what was taking Jesse so long with his parents. The boy looked nervous, eyes fixated on the knife. Castiel lowered the blade and took in a sharp breath. He had seen the boy turn his demon father away. How could he kill him now that he was making a conscious choice to not be evil? Castiel, in a tentative act of faith, placed the knife on the mantle of the fireplace.
"I... apologize," Castiel spoke slowly. He was very aware that Jesse didn't have to turn him back. After all, he had just tried to assassinate the cambion. Jesse's face eased from the worry and he took a couple steps forward. When Castiel made no move to grab the knife, the next few steps were easier. Castiel swallowed and his hand searched out his belly, where his grace hummed back to life. Relief flooded him.
"You've got a baby..." Jesse stared and Castiel softened. Castiel wasn't expecting the sound of awe in his young voice. "It's... pretty."
"Yes..." Castiel spoke slowly, swallowing his unease as Jesse inched closer. The boy was curious, endearingly so. It was reasonable that Jesse was curious; he didn't have any siblings. But "pretty" wasn't what Castiel would call his state of being and normal humans could not see the grace in his vessel. Castiel inclined his head brows coming together, curiously. "You can see?"
"No." Jesse shook his head. "I can hear the hum..." He copied the best pitch that human vocal cords could muster to the sound of grace and Castiel's throat tightened. It was soothing, even from a cambion's throat.
"You're... not evil." Castiel resigned and Jesse blinked up at Castiel, his large eyes staring up at him. "I'm sorry for assuming your nature with your birth." A small smile appeared on the boy's face.
"What's her name?" Jesse asked and a small hand reached out to touch. Castiel's hands tightened, because Jesse was still demon spawn. His instinct was to step away, but the fingers felt human and they pressed against the mound of grace which grew to a denser hum.
"Her?" Castiel's lips parted, watching.
"It's a girl, right?" Jesse asked, his hand still, feeling the reverberation of grace. He did not flinch away, he was not harmed by it's closeness. It occurred to Castiel that if Jesse wanted, he could rip the very grace from him. But the boy almost didn't know how to be cruel.
"It's an angel," Castiel informed. "We are in actuality, sexless." Jesse stared up at him in wonder and Castiel found he could no longer hate this boy than he could his own. "Nemamiah."
"Nemamiah." Jesse tried out the name and nodded. "I like her." Jesse then looked down cast, the situation he was in catching up to him. "I should go." Castiel nodded once, understanding.
"God's speed," Castiel whispered and with a sound like a wet tarp in the wind, Jesse was gone. It was quiet before Castiel heard the pounding steps of the Winchesters coming down the stairs. Castiel retrieved the demon knife and looked to Dean, who was the first one down and the first one to Castiel.
Dean's hand gripped Castiel's shoulder once he realized Castiel was regular sized again. "Shit, Cas, you're back."
"Jesse's not upstairs," Sam stated, looking around, as though the boy was somewhere else in the house.
"He's gone." Castiel's fingers found their way back to his grace, where Jesse's fingers still tingled. "He put the town back to normal. I'm not sure where he's gone to." Dean was checking him over and Castiel tried not to be embarrassed by Dean's constant worry.
"He..." Sam deflated just slightly more than Dean. "He just left?"
"Well... I guess we're not training him," Dean concluded, his hand having not let go of Castiel's shoulder and Castiel didn't make him. Castiel was comforted by the touch if nothing else. There had been little contact between them since Sam's arrival. Dean looked Castiel in the eye, then down. "You being an action figure didn't screw anything up, did it?" Castiel realized his hand was still in place and he dropped it to his side.
"No, everyone is in order," Castiel said calmly, though Jesse's words tingled in his mind. He wasn't sure why the boy chose the female gender while angels were normally gendered as male. Perhaps it was the human view to see beautiful thing and feminine. "I believe... Jesse will be alright."
"Good. Good." Dean's hand lingered, gripped in Castiel's coat and looking at Castiel again. Sam was watching them with a raised brow and Castiel took a deep breath. He wished Dean would kiss him again.
"Dean," Sam said after a long stretch of silence.
"What?" Dean looked at Sam, his fingers loosening in the trench coat. Dean seemed to realize their proximity and quickly took up his arm length of personal space. Sam raised his chin and eye brow at his brother and Dean gave Sam an annoyed look. Dean then focused his attention on Julie, who was still knocked out from the demon. Dean went over to her and picked her up. "Let's get her back to her place. I'm sure she's not gonna want to explain anything to the Turners." Castiel followed Dean to the door and watched him ease her into the back of the impala. Castiel stood in the door way, starting to feel the weight of his grace more. His own supply was leaking with every bit he used. He still had not found God and the weight of it all was starting to fall on his shoulders. Castiel looked back to Sam, who stood in the living room, still looking around for the boy who shared a curse.
"Sam," Castiel said and Sam looked back at Castiel. Sam had his own hopes weighing on Jesse and a past that haunted him. Castiel took a breath, deciding to go before Dean encouraged him to go with them again. He was loosing time. "The boy can not be found unless he wants to be found. Let him go." Sam shuffled to the door, then towards the Impala.
"Come on, Cas," Dean called and Castiel shook his head.
"I must continue my search, Dean," He said and took wing before Dean could protest. Castiel knew he was running out of places to look, but he couldn't give up. Not yet.