Disclaimer: I do not own GMW.
"Please explain," Riley softly whispered.
Lucas groaned and ran his hand through his hair, wondering where to start.
"You know how when I first moved to New York and I joined your school and how I was your friend for a while?" Lucas started. Riley nodded.
"I know nothing I say will ever change the fact that I hurt you and caused you pain. However, I did what I did because I was jealous. When you and I were civil, I saw how happy you were. You had a perfect life. A loving father and mother. An amazing brother. And you had two best friends, Farkle and Maya. You had everything and I was jealous. I was so jealous. I wanted your life. I had a shitty life. My dad would inflict harm on my mom and I. When I tried to stand up for us, he shot me. My dad shot his own son and he killed my mom. He killed the woman he was supposed to love forever. And he got away before the cops got here. He fucking got away! I have the shittiest life and I just wanted you and everyone else who had a perfect life to pay. I wanted them to feel my pain. I wanted to hurt you and there's nothing to excuse my actions no matter my reason," Lucas admitted.
Riley took a second to process everything in. This was a lot for her to handle and take in. Her emotions were ranging from pity for Lucas to anger at Lucas. She wasn't sure how to feel.
Lucas's P.O.V.
I watched in silent anticipation as Riley struggled to say something. I knew nothing I could have ever said would have excused my actions. I've done too much. Sometimes, not everything is forgivable.
"I want to be angry at you, yet at the same time I don't," Riley started.
"Be mad. I was a bully and a jerk. You have every right to be mad," I told her, even if that isn't what I want.
I don't want her to be mad at me, but I've been a horrible person who doesn't deserve forgiveness.
"After what Charlie did, the bullying and everything just seems petty. I don't know why, but I feel different. I realized that there's some other things that are much worse than bullying, not that bullying isn't bad. I just can't find it in me to be mad at you. Maybe I'm a bit disappointed in you for taking your anger and jealousy out on others, but other than that, I'm not mad," Riley explained.
She wasn't mad at me? How is this possible? I would have expected some sort of grudge against me or even her taking the hurt out on me, but nothing. To be honest, this is much scarier. I wouldn't expect anyone to act like this after what I've put her through.
"My dad taught me that I shouldn't hold a grudge on others. That it'll be easier to forgive others and move on my life, rather than think about that even throughout my life and marry myself to the thought of revenge. I forgive you, but it doesn't mean I'll forget the pain you've brought me. We're still not exactly friends," Riley told me before she got up and left the room we were in.
I was alone with my thoughts. She forgave me. She actually forgave me, granted she said she wouldn't forget about what I've done, but she's forgiven me. That's the first step. Now, I truly have to prove that I will change my ways.
Riley's P.O.V.
I know I'm probably stupid, forgiving Lucas so quickly. But the truth is, I'm just tired. The whole Charlie thing happened and I just can't deal with anything. As much as I pretend I can handle this, it's really too much. I don't know what to do. Everything's blowing up in my face. I don't know how to handle anything. Forgiving Lucas seems like a good thing to do because I'll have one less thing to worry about. Even if he doesn't change his ways, at this point, I don't care because it truly doesn't matter at this point.
This is my last year here. I'm almost out of here. I can do this. What Charlie did to me won't stop me from moving forward. I just have to keep on looking forward and never backwards. I will be strong, for myself.
Putting our conversation behind me, I surged out and straight to the office. When I told the nurse I didn't feel well, she gave me a look of pity and allowed me to call home. I asked my mom to come and sign me out. During the wait, I noticed the office ladies sparing glances at me. They most likely also knew the news.
I sighed, knowing that probably the whole school heard. I'll probably be receiving many looks of pity over the course of the year. What a perfect way to end my years at highschool, not. Hopefully my luck will turn up. Who knows what the future can hold?