Slowly Jacob's tears stopped, until he was breathing evenly, still lying in my lap. I didn't stop stroking him until he sat up and looked at me. "Sorry" he said, roughly batting at his hand across his face, trying to remove the tears.

I reached out and wiped under one eye with my thumb. "It's ok Jake…" I leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips and was rewarded with a small smile.

"Come on, let's get you home" he said standing up and reaching a hand out to me. We didn't speak as we got onto the bike but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. It felt like something had happened between us, I could see Jacob in a new way, it was like he was suddenly 3 dimensional and I hadn't even realized I hadn't been seeing all of him before. I held on to him and the bike ride home, matching my breathing to his, melting into him.

"I'll call you later ok?" Jacob said as he walked me to my front door.

"Yeah" I leaned in and kissed him again and he nuzzled into my neck holding me tightly. I took a big breath, trying to strengthen us both for the time apart tonight. "OK, bye" I said turning to go back inside.

"Hey Bells" he said softly behind me. Turning back around I saw the shy, timid Jacob I remembered from our childhood, "Thanks…" he said looking at me for a moment longer before walking away.

Inside Charlie had ordered a pizza for dinner. I felt bad for not made dinner and not telling him I was going to be out but when I walked in instead of grilling me he just nodded to me "pizza?"

"Thanks" I said sitting at the kitchen table with him. We ate in silence, him getting me a soda when getting himself another beer. After we ate I gathered my stuff and went upstairs to take a shower and do my homework. I was behind in Social Sciences and needed to start on my next English Paper. I turned on some music and sat at my desk to work.

After about an hour, I started getting too tired to think straight. I had reached maximum capacity for the day. I changed into my sleep pants and tank top and crawled into bed, grabbing my phone in case Jacob called.

Lying in my bed I listened to the sounds of the woods outside. The window was open for the first time this spring, finally the weather had shifted and I was enjoying the fresh night air. I could see the tops of the trees dimly against the black night and sighed.

I decided that I was too close to sleep to wait for Jake to call, as I flicked open my phone it rang, making me jump and drop it. "Jake?" I answered.

"Hey, miss me?" he said softly.

"Desperately" I said snuggling in to my bed and turning off the bedside lamp.

"Was Charlie mad you were out late?"

"No, he's actually being really cool about the whole thing. I think he's a little worried about you though."

"I really wish people would stop worrying about me." He grunted in frustration.

"It's just because they care"

"I know, I'm just, tired of it."

"Yeah…" I said, loving the sound of his voice. "Jake?"

"Yeah Bells."

"Thanks for today…I mean…thanks for…talking to me"

"I'm sorry I kind of lost it, I just…don't really talk about it much."

We sat in silence for a moment. I listened to his breathing, wishing I could be there with him, to touch him and sooth him. But I knew that what I needed to say to him was something that I would never get out if I had to look at him.

"I understand that…there's stuff I don't talk about either"

He let that hang in the air for a few beats, not pushing me to talk.

"Jake?"

"I'm here Bells…"

"Well, I just, you know…you know I never really…when we were kids, I didn't know how to…thank you."

"Bells…"

"No really, you…saved me." I took a deep breath. "I've never talked about it; I've never really let myself think about it enough to talk about it. I have…nightmares, still."

"God Bella…"

"No, Jake, I want to talk about it…with you"

"OK honey" he said and I could hear him shift his position over the phone.

"What almost happened, it was the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I have it in my head all the time, I always wonder when it's going to finally happen. When Edward, after the movie…I was just paralyzed. I don't know what would have happened and I don't know how I would have fought, or if I would have even tried. It's like there's a pit in my stomach that I fall into and can't get out of when I'm faced with what happened and when I'm there, I can't breath, I can't move."

"Bella, I won't ever let anything happen to you"

"I know you mean that Jake, but…how? How can you be friends with him?" I was whispering now, not sure if he even heard what I said, but I knew I wouldn't be able to say it again.

Jake took a deep breath in and I could hear him exhale slowly. "When Leah was in the hospital, the baby…Collin…was born alive."

I gasped; it never occurred to me that he would have survived.

"He was so small; I could hold him in one hand. The drs said that even with help, he'd never live, so we sat with him, we held him and when he died…he died in my arms."

There was a long pause, but what Jacob had to say he needed to do in his own time.

"The nurses were so nice and they let Leah put my name, Black, on the birth certificate even though her parents fought it. I tried to be there for her. I have tried to be…"

"I know you have Jake, I saw you with her, remember…"

"She just lost it Bella. She would cry and scream and scratch at me or her parents. No one could even touch her. The Drs sedated her and eventually admitted her for a few weeks. When she came back her parents kept her drugged most of the time and it was like watching a ghost of her walk around."

"Even though everything was cleared up, there was still a lot of talk and everyone talked like I was the one who made her crazy. My Dad didn't know what to say and barely spoke to me. Sam's was the only place I could go and not be met with looks of disgust or hate. It was the only place I could be Jacob, where I could be 16!"

"Sam used to live in Seattle, and he saw a lot of shit there. When he moved here he was 18 and he kind of opened his home up to some of the kids on the Rez. You might not know it now but those guys, I love them, but they've all had shit."

"Embry has no idea who his Dad is and his mom drinks…a lot."

"Jared's Dad used to beat the shit out of him, until one day Jared was big enough and he broke his Dad's jaw…now his Dad carries a knife and we all know something will happen someday but no one can do anything about it. He turns 18 in June and then he's planning on leaving La Push. I'm gonna miss him… but I understand."

"God Jake…"

"We're a bunch of misfits. Some of us have done shit to deserve it, like Quil, he was fucked up for a while, smoking and breaking into houses in Forks for money. He's got his shit together now though."

"Seth is Leah's brother and he's only 15 now. Everything that happened hit him pretty hard. I try to look out for him, but there's only so much I can bear for him."

"And Paul… Paul's an asshole Bella, no two ways about it. What he did, it can't be excused and it can't be taken away. He's got no censor between his brain and his mouth and the shit he spouts, it could make a sailor's hair curl, but he's one of us. I don't know how to explain it, but he's a part of it."

"I've never seen him do anything to anyone other than with you and he's even had some girls he dated and never seemed to treat them as anything other than special. He's stood by me, even defended me against the shit other people said. I got jumped once in a parking lot, there were 5 of them, and Paul… Paul was the only one who came over. He got a punctured lung from where his rib was broken and a broken cheekbone for his effort, but he never left my side."

"He can never take away what he did to you, and if you need me to stop talking to him I will, but, I hope you won't ask that…"

"Jake"

"Wait Bells, let me finish ok?"

I breathed out slowly "Ok"

"His grandfather raised him and he was a mean old shit. I don't think he ever hit Paul but he kept him in that ratty house and never let him go anywhere or have any friends. That old shit was bat shit crazy too, used to fill Paul's head with all the old stories and a lot of racist shit about the white folks in town. He wouldn't even let Paul go to school until the council went in and forced him to. It can't undo anything, but maybe… I don't know."

The silence hung between us and I could hear the wind blowing through the trees outside. I couldn't figure out how to put the pieces of what Jacob had said together with what I knew. I couldn't hobble together an image of Paul that wasn't evil. How could the same person be the shadow in my nightmares and someone who would take a beating for Jacob? How could I hate anyone who would stand by Jake? How could I not?

I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, pushing myself up into sitting position.

"Bells? Are you OK?"

"I don't know Jake, the pieces don't fit. I…I can't force them together, I can't tape together what's broken in me just because he's your friend."

"I know…"

I yawned and giggled a little.

"Jake, I don't want to stop talking but I have to go to sleep."

"Yeah, we're gonna be out late tomorrow I guess."

"Oh god, I'd forgotten, don't hate me for whatever Alice drags us into OK?"

Jacob laughed his grumbly scratchy laugh "nah, I'm looking forward to it"

"Pick me up in the morning?" I asked

"Yeah, night Bells"

"Night Jake…I love you"

"Yeah" he said with a sweet smile in his voice. "You too"

I hung up the phone and feel into a sleep so deep I didn't remember dreaming.

That morning, I threw on my most comfortable jeans and a Nirvana tee-shirt over a long sleeved black shirt. I knew Alice was going to insist on make-up along with the ridiculous outfit I'd agreed to wear tonight so I wanted to be as comfortable as physically possible today.

Jake pulled up early again today but Charlie was already gone to the station. I handed him a cup of coffee when he walked in and leaned against the counter looking at him sip it. "I could get used to this…"

"What?" he asked

"You, here with me for breakfast" I said smiling.

He put his coffee down and walked toward me. I could feel his hands on me before he touched me. I know the shape of his hands by memory, the feeling of his warm skin against me. I could smell his soap and Jacob-ness before he was close enough to really smell it and I could feel the smile on my face getting wider. "I love you" he said as he leaned down and kissed me. I opened my mouth and licked him lower lip and was rewarded with his mouth opening so that I could taste his tongue.

It was a slow, lingering kiss. His hands never moved from my hips and mine stayed around his neck, but our bodies were pushed together, no room for even a molecule of air between us. I kissed him languidly, running my tongue along his lips and sucking on his lip. He sighed as he took me into his mouth. I could feel him shaking slightly and the warm length of him growing against me.

Hi hands were strong and large, just like all of him. I leaned into him closer, bringing myself up onto my toes, rubbing against him as I went. One of his hands worked its way down to my ass, squeezing it, pulling me even closer to him. I released his mouth and leaned back into his arms, giving him full access to my neck.

He didn't disappoint me as he kissed his way from my ear, down to my shoulder, pulling my skin into his mouth as he went. I brought my right hand up into his short hair, pulling on it slightly. He moaned into me and his other hand came down to my ass, picking me up and placing me onto the counter. He was between my legs and pushing against me hard, still keeping his slow pace on my neck.

"Jake…" I moaned, brining my mouth to his again in a hungry kiss. I pulled him against me roughly, grinding my hips against him.

"Bella…we…" I kissed the words in his mouth away pushing myself roughly against him. I gasped for air and looked at him, seeing the fire of desire in his eyes.

"We should go upstairs" I breathed into his mouth

"No Babe, we have to go to school…" he said leaning his forehead against mine.

"Jacob…" I said waiting for him to look up at me. "We will get to school" I kissed him softly "right now" I kissed him again "I need to feel you" I kissed him deeper, sucking on his lower lip…

"Bella…" he said but he stepped away from me and gave me a look so passionate it made me quiver. I hopped down and walked upstairs quickly, not looking behind me. I knew he would be following.

When I got to my room I turned around to find Jacob right behind me. I quickly pulled off my shirt and shimmied out of my pants. He stood there looking at me in my underwear "You are an evil temptress" he laughed coming forward and tackling me onto my bed.

I arranged myself on the pillow and he swooped off his shirt. "Jake…" I said scratching down his back, pulling him too me. He kissed me and I wrapped my legs around him, lifting my hips up to meet his length. His hand was on my breast, scooping it out of the cup of my bra before leaning down and taking me into him mouth. "Ohhh…" I moaned throwing my head back as tendrils of pleasure pulsed from my nipple throughout my body.

He was off of me then, standing next to the bed, taking off his jeans. I pulled my underwear off and undid my bra as I watched him free his erection from his underwear. I crawled over to him on the bed and kissed him on the tip of his cock, running my tongue around it. "Please…" I heard him moan above me just before I pulled his length into my mouth. I sucked on it, using my tongue to apply pressure to him as I pulled him into my mouth again and again.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me off of him, throwing me back on the bed. "God woman, you make me crazy!" he growled at me as he hovered above me. I placed my fee on his calves and leveraged myself up from the shoulders, pushing myself against him.

"Make love to me Jake…" I said looking at him.

"Condoms Bells, we need a condom." He said his face falling.

"No!" I wailed slamming my hands on the bed on either side of me. I was about to have a full fledged tantrum if he didn't put his dick in me right now!

"Hold on" he laughed grabbing his jeans off the floor. He pulled one out of his pocket. I looked up at him raising one eyebrow at the fact he was carrying them around. "Well, after our last conversation about…I just thought I should…"

I laughed again and leaned up to kiss him. "Good, I'm glad you did" I laid back and watched as the rolled it out onto him, enjoying watching him touch himself.

He came back to where I was lying and lingered above me, looking at me. "I love you" he said as he came down to me and reached between us. I felt him enter me slowly, filling me to capacity. I moaned and rolled back in ecstasy as I felt him pull out until just the tip of him was in me. Slowly again, he pushed far into me and then pulled almost all of the way out. Without changing his rhythm he did it again and again, looking directly at me.

He sped up slightly and I was trying to grab at him, pull him to me. He took my hands and held them together above my head. "Hold still Bella" he cooed still looking at me. I felt his grip against my arms and struggled a little against them. I didn't want him to free me, but I liked the feeling of his strength holding me in place. I lifted my hips to pull him into me faster and he growled, bearing his teeth.

Before I knew what was happening his mouth slammed down onto mine. My hands were still pinned above me but now he was slamming into me. I clung to him with my legs, pushing against his every thrust, trying to get him as deep into me as I could. I pulled one leg up so he could get in me further, making him bellow in response. I started to writhe against him. Glad he was holding my hands in place so I didn't have to think about what I was doing. I screamed and shook from the power of my orgasm as he latched onto my shoulder, biting me hard as he came against me.

His body was heavy on me, but I loved the feeling of it and the feeling of his sweat making my body slick. He slowly released my hands and kissed my shoulder, my neck, my jaw, my cheek, my lips. "I love you" I said as he looked at me starting to move away "Don't go…" I moaned wrapping my arms around his strong back, wanting to stay here like this forever.

"School Bella…We have to go to school"

"Harumph!" I said as he got up and went to the bathroom.

"Jake!?"

"What?" he called back to me.

"Ummm, you can't leave that in the trash can ok?"

"I know Bella" he laughed from the other room "I'm going to flush it Ok?"

"Oh, yeah, ok"

We quickly got dressed without talking and went downstairs. I was practically skipping I was so happy this morning. He was smiling at me, opening the front door for me. I beamed up at him "Good Morning" I said as I kissed him again.

"Yes, yes it was" he said laughing.

We rode to school and managed to only be 10 minutes late for class. I was still completely blissed out and didn't even care at the sideways looks Angela was giving me. I passed the day with a smile on my face and a skip in my step that I never wanted to stop.

During Physics I stepped out to use the bathroom and ran into Edward in the hallway. I smiled as I walked past him "Hey Bella" he said walking up to me. "You look great today" he said brining his hand out to touch my face.

I took a step back and found the wall against my back. "Jacob must be good for you" he said leaning down and smelling me.

"Ok Edward you're seriously creeping me out. What is up with you?"

He put his hand on my hip "I just miss you" he said leaning into kiss me.

I slammed my hands into his chest. "What the fuck Edward!" I said as loudly as I could in a hall with classrooms around us. "Are you like fucking bi-polar?" He stepped back, more upset with my words it seemed than my hitting him.

"What? God, I'm sorry, what's your problem?"

"Lately the only thing that's a problem is you" I hissed. "Seriously, what is going on?" I said looking at him. He face looked hallow, like he hadn't been sleeping and his clothes were slightly disheveled, which I had never seen on Edward before.

"Ah Fuck" he said his hand through his auburn hair "it's nothing, I'm sorry Bella." He turned and started walking away.

"OK, I accept your apology, I do, but you're still freaking me out. One day you're the controlling boyfriend, the next you're trying to jump me, then you're laughing in your sisters room and having food fights and now you accost me in the hallway." I was talking fast, afraid he was going to bolt at any second. "What is going on?" I said as gently as I could, looking up at him, trying to get him to look at me.

He ran his hand through his hair again and was looking anywhere but at me. "I…I don't know Bella, just, don't ask me stuff like that ok?"

"Edward…"

"I'm sorry Bella" he said walking away quickly. I watched him go, completely unsure of what I was doing here in the first place. Oh right, the bathroom. I peed and washed my hands, splashed water on my face before heading back to class, just in time for the bell to ring.

One more class until Alice's house, I wondered if Edward was going to be there…maybe Alice knew what his deal was. I grabbed my books and headed to my locker, Jacob beside me until he had to head towards Spanish. "Bye" he said, leaning down and kissing me. When I turned around Edward was watching me with a look of pain on his face, which he quickly covered up with a smile and walked away…

Comment Please! I love hearing what you think!

So what should Bella wear tonight? What is this place going to be like?

Will it be fun or will Drama ensue? And help me with Jazz's character a little!