A/N: it has been so long and I am so sorry! I have no explanation other than the usual pathetic 'no time stuff' I promise to make the extra effort to update more!

"Okay Clary, are you sure you want to do this?" asks Jonathan as I take one final look at my reflection in the car window.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. The only thing worse than going back would be not going back. Besides… normalcy has become a virtue and I plan to obtain it." I divert my eyes from the reflection and look at my brother in the driver's seat. He nods his head but the usual look of uncertainty is plain on his strong featured face. I never noticed just how handsome Jon was. Of course, I could never think of him as more than a brother, but I could understand why girls fawned over him. His strong cheek bones and angular face structure was intimidating but graceful. His strong muscles moved fluidly with every gesture and his snow blonde hair was always quaffed or shook just the right way.

I get out of the car with my bag and coffee and walk with Jonathan towards the entrance when a snarky comment stops me in my tracks. "Look Aline, the slut's back. You know, I heard that she slept with some Hispanic guy while she was away! She was probably staying with her new lover when she wasn't at school." I whip my head towards the source and see Kaelie and Aline laughing.

I roll my eyes and try to appear indifferent but inside, I was crumbling. I look at Jon and see him fuming. He is making a move towards the two girls when I stop him with my hand and say, "Jon, stop. I don't care about them and neither should you. They're ignorant ass holes with false egos. It's fine." He nods but I know that other than Jace, Jonathan sees right through me and knew that I was bother by what they said.

I walk through the doors with Jonathan at my side and see the flyers for the winter masquerade. I was never a fan of big parties and I hoped Isabelle wouldn't drag me to this one. I would much rather stay at home and watch Breaking Bad reruns. I walk to my locker and say goodbye to Jon as he goes to his. I open the metal door and grab my books but before I close locker, I feel a pair of warm and strong arms wrap around my midsection. My lips curl into a smile and the two girls earlier actions are lost in my mind as I turn around in to hold. "Were you going to wait for me love?" asks Jace in a playful tone.

I look into his deep, golden eyes and say, "Of course. You would have never let me live it down if I forgot." He rolls his eyes with that playful smirk on his lips and says, "You love me. Don't deny it."

I giggle as he moves his face closer to mine so that our foreheads touch. "So," he continues, "about that masquerade…"

I sigh and say, "I knew you wouldn't just come see me out of sheer will."

He moves away in mock hurt and says, "I can't ask my girlfriend if she will accompany me to a dance? What has this world come to?! I thought you said you wanted normalcy."

I groan and say in defeat, "Gah! Fine! I will go!"

He smirks and says, "I knew I'd get you, Red." I kiss him shortly and then say, "Alright, class is in 15 minutes. We should go."

I start to move away when he grabs my hand and says, "We can do a lot in 15 minutes…" He cocks an eyebrow and I smirk.

"You know what else we can do in 15 minutes? Find your sister and Simon and Alec and Magnus and discuss the winter masquerade."

He groans but I take his hand anyway and lead him towards Simon's locker which I know Iz will be at. "Izzy," I call as I see her and Simon laughing.

"Hey Clary!" she yells back. "Okay, so before you protest, you are going and I have the perfect dress and-"

"Sorry," says Jace, "I beat you. I already asked her and she said yes."

Isabelle frowns and rolls her eyes at her brother which causes Jace to say, "Yeah Isabelle, keep rolling your eyes; maybe you'll find a brain back there."

She scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest while Simon says to Jace, "Watch yourself Goldy."

Jace's face softens and he says, "Come on Lewis, can't a brother have a little fun with his sister?"

Simon just shakes his head. "Okay, we need to get to class," says Jace and he guides me away from the two. When I walk into Mr. Garner's class with Jace, I see Aline sitting in my seat along with Kaelie and Seelie. I silently groan but go to my seat anyway.

"Hey Aline, I think you have the wrong seat," I say through gritted teeth. She glares at me and ignores my obvious request and goes back to her conversation with the other girls.

"Aline," says Jace behind me and I take comfort in his warm presence. "It would be wise if you moved."

Instead of complying, Aline bats her fake eyelashes and says, "Honestly Jacey… how can you stand to be with her much longer? I mean, she slept with that Hispanic guy and was with him for days! Oh, I know, she's probably giving you the same treatment. Well, let me just tell you, I know for a fact that I can give you better." The three girls laugh and I can feel heat rising on my face and my neck.

I turn around and walk out of the room, ignoring the calls from Jace and the laughs from the girls. I go to the bathroom and look at the figure in the mirror. I sigh in disappointment- I don't know who that girl is anymore. She seems the same on the outside; same unruly hair and emerald green eyes. Same thin frame and short stature. She looks the same, but inside, it is as if her whole world has changed. Her father is dead, her mother might as well be dead. I realize that I am just the shell of the girl I used to be.

I walk out of the bathroom, my face a steel pale plate, and walk back to class just as the bell rings. I sit in my now vacant seat and stare at my white desk until I feel a warm, calloused hand grip my forearm. I look at the source and my eyes meet Jace's. "You know, everything they say about you is a lie."

I nod my head but don't reply. Moments later, Jace passes me a note that says:

Meet me next to the fountain by the garden before lunch :)

I smirk and mouth 'okay.' To him before going back into the lesson.

TIME JUMP

I grab my bag and walk towards the fountain where I was supposed to be meeting Jace. I sit down on the bench by the fountain and flip through a book that I had picked up from the library. I hadn't realized how long I had been waiting until the bell rang that dismissed us to our next class. I was frustrated with Jace for not meeting me but of course, I was also worried that something was wrong or that something happened.

I walk to my class anyway and sit in my seat and wait for Jace to join me as well. However, he never comes. I am very worried by now so I rush out of the room and to the parking lot. I decide to wait for Jace by his car but when I get there, all I see is Aline standing with her back to me, and fervently running her hands through Jace's hair as they kiss and she giggles. My heart crumbles but I make a promise to myself right then that I wouldn't let him see me cry. Instead, I cough loudly as to get their attention.

Aline turns to me with the smile of a Cheshire cat clear on her face while Jace looks absolutely mortified. I had always prized myself for making the unexpected decision during a mental crisis so I thought now would be a good time for one of those moments. I start clapping. That's all I do- clap.

"Clary, please let me explain this," starts Jace.

"Can you?" I ask, "Can you really explain this and expect me to believe you?"

"But it's not what it looks like!" he pleads.

"FUCK YOU! It is ALWAYS what it looks like! You are the epitome appearances and you always make an effort to show everyone that. I don't know why I would ever trust you. You- you know my life has been a living hell and up until now, you were always there for me! I trusted you! I opened myself up to you and you betrayed me!"

"I didn't! I would never hurt you like that Clary!" he exclaims.

I straighten my posture and say in a deep tone, "Tell me Jace. What is it like being the 'it' boy; being the golden boy?"

"I'm not the golden boy!" he yells again.

"Please! You relish in the thought that everyone is looking at you. You love the fact that you can get any girl you want with the snap of a finger and you can't STAND to think that there may be a girl out there that doesn't fall so hard for your unbearable charm. But who am I kidding? I fell for you Jace Herondale… and I fell hard. The only thing is that you weren't there to catch me." I had made a promise to myself before the fight that I wouldn't let him see me cry- but I was breaking that promise now. Tears roll down my face but I turn back around anyway.

"You broke my heart… thank you. It needed breaking. I found out pretty early that the world wasn't perfect… you just made me realize that it was cruel."

With that behind, I walk down the street and text Jon to tell him I had already gone home. I remember telling myself a long time ago that love was fickle and pointless; the only love anyone could ever have was a love to themselves. I still believe love is fickle, but now I feel that rather than pointless, love is cruel. I will never love again.