Chapter 14: Suspense
Author's Note: This chapter is going to be slightly out of the ordinary but I dreamt the concept and felt that clearly I needed to write it! I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I've pretended Truro was a lot closer to 'Portwenn' than it really is- for ease of getting Louisa to hospital. Also as an actor I clearly have no medical knowledge- the terms used are just stuff I picked up from watching medical dramas! OL xx
The ambulance had been bumbling along the winding back roads away from North Cornwall at high speed for roughly 20 minutes. Martin sat by and watched as the paramedics tended to Louisa, wrapping her in a thermal blanket and monitoring her stats in preparation for their arrival at A&E in Truro in a few minutes. Every time he wanted to make a suggestion to improve their technique while caring for the woman he loved, he was told to keep quiet. He stared at Louisa's pale and bruising face with sadness, feeling immensely guilty about the entire situation.
Louisa began to stir from her deep sleep, feeling surprisingly well. Her head was sore and her body hurt, she was still shivering. Slowly she opened her eyes, and looked to the man sitting next to her. He looked grey with guilt, huge dark circles forming under his eyes as he looked on. His shirt was wet in places and covered in blood but he didn't seem to have noticed. Louisa felt a certain warm, calming feeling in her left hand but looking down there was no obvious reason for it. Returning her gaze to Martin she looked down to where his left hand hung helplessly by his side, after a moment she noticed his other arm was reached out across the ambulance, holding the hand of the woman lying unconscious in the bed opposite them.
For a moment she couldn't focus her eyes, closing them for a minute she heard Martin's voice reassuring them that it wasn't far to go, he whispered her name when he spoke. Louisa looked back to Martin, but realised she wasn't who he was talking to. She stood confused and took several steps towards the woman he was directing his attention to. Staring across, she saw only the woman's head poking out from under a silver blanket, her face was pale and her wet hair hung lank around her face. Although the bruise had not come out yet, it was clear that she was going to have a black eye when her body warmed up enough to resume normal blood flow. Louisa gazed sadly at the woman whose grazed face looked sore and suddenly recognised who it was. Looking at Martin's hand in the woman's, then again at her own empty hand, he was holding her left hand; Louisa could feel that her left hand was warm. What on earth is happening? Louisa closed her eyes tightly, shaking her head violently in a vague attempt to wake herself up. How could she be lying in the bed and standing next to Martin in the ambulance? It wasn't possible, she must be hallucinating or dreaming or anything. Feeling confused and sick Louisa sat back down next to Martin as the ambulance jolted over a bump entering the hospital. Clearly it made Martin jump as he lost his grip and dropped the unconscious figure's hand, and Louisa felt her hand go cold again; confirming (however confusingly) that they were both Louisa.
Louisa looked on as Martin exited the ambulance following the paramedics pushing the bed into the emergency department. Gingerly she got up, and stepped out with her bare feet on the cold concrete slabs of the hospital exterior, following Martin's recognisable shadow through the many twists and turns of the endless corridors. Finally she arrived at the cubicle, several minutes behind the paramedics, the other Louisa and Martin. There was already a bustle of noise and commotion with people shouting things like;
'We need FBC's U's and E's!'
'Katie, can you book the patient in for an urgent CT scan, we need to rule out head, neck and back injury.'
'Please can someone try and get a line in?' which was met by 'She is so cold it's really difficult to gain access'.
Louisa hung back behind the curtain, people passing her by without a look. She couldn't quite bring herself to go in and see what was happening.
'Are we ready to do hand-over?' a more familiar voice broke through the murmuring, and when the general noise had died down he began. They must have been in the ambulance with her, all she knew was it wasn't Martin. 'This is Louisa Glasson, a 35 year old female found unconscious, wet and in very little clothing' he continued 'she has sustained a variety of injury, so from top to bottom we have queried concussion as the patient has been unconscious on the way in with a GCS of 6, stirring only momentarily with contact from Dr Ellingham'. There was someone writing down everything the paramedic was saying, Louisa could hear the scratching of the pen on the clipboard. 'The patient is suffering from acute moderate hypothermia with a temperature of 30.3 degrees on our arrival at the scene, which rose slightly in the ambulance once she was covered in some blankets'. The medical staff moved around as several left to organise treatment for Louisa's hypothermia. 'There is a queried fractured right ankle due to localised swelling; the lump on her forehead is rather worrying so I would suggest a head CT'. There was a moment before one other nurse left the cubicle, presumably to order some more tests then without warning Martin suddenly back out of the cubicle looking white and sweating. Simultaneously the paramedic finished the hand over 'She has sustained several long deep lacerations to her forearms, shins and one to her right palm there are other minor cuts and bruises to her face- all unknown in origin'. Louisa nodded knowingly, it was the blood! He hadn't changed a bit and as she looked round he was vomiting into a nearby bin. Walking cautiously over to him, she placed her hand reassuringly on his back, rubbing it to try and comfort him. Martin jumped at her touch, shivered, looked behind him the proceeded to wipe his mouth and return to the cubicle. Louisa followed calling out his name indignantly, confused and upset that he had brushed her off.
Following Martin's tower figure back to the cubicle Louisa looked around the hospital. It was a hub of electricity, noise and emotion she could see how people got so worked up being in hospitals. She wondered how Martin could have put up with this sort of commotion when he had worked as a surgeon. Perhaps the theatre was more of a quiet sanctuary. As she continued to stare blankly around the A&E department she saw a small child with his mother sitting in one of the cubicles. The child was barely conscious and his head rolled from side to side, sobbing quietly. Louisa took several steps towards them feeling immensely sorry for the child when suddenly she was blinded by a light, in one eye then the other. For several minutes afterwards she had to sit and wait for the remnants of the light to fade from her retina.
She stumbled back towards where she could hear Martin's voice shouting at someone for being a moron. She rolled her eyes, typical Martin. Although it warmed her heart over how protective he was, he never shouted at other people like that unless it was to do with her. Taking a deep breath she entered the curtain, pulling it back with one hand. Her eyes were met by a horrible sight. The woman she now recognised to be herself (although still unsure how it was possible) was covered in wires, blankets and smears of blood starting to appear on the crisp white sheets. Looking over her shoulder from the bedside she could see Martin gazing at her, she smiled sadly at him. His gaze was once again passing straight through her to the woman laid out on the bed. Louisa walked towards Martin, reaching out with one hand to touch his cheek. For a moment he didn't move, then with one swift movement batted her away like a fly. Louisa jumped back a pace or two only to be caught in the path of the bed being moved and hearing a quick murmur of radiology by a passing nurse. Martin gave one of the passing doctors who were leaving with Louisa a taut nod before gluing his watering eyes to the floor. Louisa didn't know whether to stay with him or go with the trolley. In the end she decided to stay with Martin- hoping her presence alone would somehow sooth him. As she sat by him she watched his every move; from the twitch of his lip to his slow blinks. She noticed that he was starting to murmur in such a quiet voice she couldn't hear it over the thrum of noise in the department. She moved closer to hear;
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he repeated over and over.
Louisa swallowed a lump in her throat. She looked at him hardly moving herself. He was still murmuring apologies eyes red and swollen.
"Oh Martin" she started towards him slowly. Knowing how he had reacted the last times she reached out to him she decided against it. Instead she knelt in front of him close to his ear in the hope he would somehow hear her. "Why do we always end up in these situations? Pushing each other away and one or both of us getting hurt… I know you don't mean to do it and I don't mean to react the way I do. I was just upset and hurt by your behaviour. I'm sorry for what I said and for walking out on you" she explained gently and quietly. Looking up she saw Martin gaze had risen from the floor slightly and he appeared to be listening. Or at least it appeared he was hearing something although he looked confused.
"I'm going to be alright Martin, I know it…" she looked him straight in the eyes. He didn't respond merely sighed sadly.
"But the question really is…are we going to be alright?" Louisa bit her lip. Wondering if anything she had said was heard. Watching him for a few moments longer she felt an overwhelming urge to reach out to him. As she moved her left hand towards his she felt an overwhelming compulsion to watch this gesture. Gradually as her hand moved she began to see through it. At first Louisa thought she was seeing things however as her hand became close enough for her to grasp Martin's it was almost entirely translucent. Determined to make contact with Martin she persevered and enclosed his hand in hers, closing her eyes as she did so. Unlike before he didn't flinch, move away or even brush her aside. Carefully opening her eyes she looked down to where she was holding Martin's hand. Yet she couldn't see her hands at all or even her arms. She glanced down to find although she was next to Martin- she had no feet touching the ground.
Suddenly Louisa felt extraordinarily light as if she was floating and as her gaze returned to where Martin sat- he now seemed miles away. All around her everything was becoming bright and white. It was almost blinding. She threw one last glance towards where Martin was sitting many metres away she shouted his name again and again.
Louisa wasn't ready to die but she was fading fast. Soon the light had engulfed her translucent body entirely….