A/N: Cherubs! I fianlly got around to writing another chapter on this story. I'm so grateful for all of your lovely reviews. =) I've been busy with Uni as well as I also author 'Take the Tumble'. A harry potter Fanfic. If you love my writing you should check that story out as there are almost 40 chapters of it so far. I hope everyone had a safe and happy Easter break. Much love my cheubs. Pleaser review, i hope you love the new chapter. xx-Kitten.
Chapter 14: Wisdom?
Jake Ely watched in something akin to awe as the girl he'd known all his life sang her heart out on the makeshift hay-bale stage set up in his ranch yard. The Sam Jake knew had been so terrified of speaking in public that she almost made herself just thinking about it. Unless she was fighting with him or protecting her beloved mustang, then she could get up in front of a hundred thousand people if she had too. In fact the Samantha Anne Forster that Jake knew would never in a hundred years have been able to get up in front of any sort of crowd and sing like she was now. Yet there she was. And damn if she didn't sing like an angel.
Jake knew that Sam had always had a little habit of singing to herself and to her horses, but he'd never have thought she'd have the stomach to get up for a crowd and sing like she was now. But there she was, up on a hay bale singing as though she had never for a day in her life done anything else. It was really no surprise that he hadn't been able to stop staring either.
Not with her up there looking like that and singing like a nightingale. The dress she wore hugged every curve that had developed since he'd seen her two summers ago. The girl he'd left behind has always been pretty, even when she'd hacked off all her hair, but the woman that she'd grown into made his heart race. He had no idea how she managed to even stand in those shoes she had on, and though they made her legs look amazing he had to admit he preferred seeing her in her worn out old boots.
Jake smiled as same finished her third song, she'd looked at him with a small smile on her lips as she sang every line and Jake couldn't help wondering if she meant every word she sang to be aimed at him or if she was just enjoying watch him flounder in his shock. Around him he heard the people he shared his life with clap for the performance, though he noticed out the corner of his eye that Wyatt was still watching him and chuckling a little bit. His boss had found it particularly amusing that he had been unable to re-hinge his jaw in his own.
Next Sam started strumming alone on her guitar as violin music played from the stereo and Jake watched as Cody Forster began to dance around excitedly where he stood in front of her. When she began t sing Jake understood why.
Dragon tails, and the water is white
Pirates sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moon beams every night
And I love you.
God speed little man.
Sweet dreams little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed. Sweet dreams.
Cody began to sway in front of Sam as she crooned the words down to him, and Adam had taken up playing the melody on his guitar because Sam had pulled the microphone free of the stand and stepped down to stand in front of her brother. And Jake knew then that this was the lullaby the boy had begged of her. The one she must sing to him each night a ritual she had interrupted for him.
Rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you.
Godspeed little man. Sweet dreams little man.
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings.
Godspeed. Sweet Dreams.
Jake glanced sideways at Wyatt Forster who was watching his children with warmth in his gaze. Wyatt seemed to have changed too since the last time Jake had seen him. Instead of tugging his hat down to hide his pleased smile at the sight of his son twirling beneath Sam's arm as he held her hand and she swayed to the tune she sang.
God bless Mommy and Matchbox cars
God bless Dad and thanks for the stars
God hears Amen wherever we are
And I love you.
Godspeed little man. Sweet dreams little man.
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings.
Godspeed. Godspeed. Godspeed.
Sweet Dreams.
Cody Forster wrapped his arms around the waist of his big sister and Jake wondered at the strange feeling in his chest as he watched Sam bend down and lift the child into her arms with ease. It was obvious that she loved the little boy with all of her heart. She got the same smile she wore when she watched that Stallion of hers. The one that was seven parts love and three parts wonder, as though she barely dared believe this was her life.
Jake jerked slightly when he heard someone else begin, realizing that he hadn't noticed the new song that had begun playing because he'd been too busy staring at Sam. Jake stared as he realized it was Quinn singing.
Granddaddy always said, when he was seventeen
He met the girl, the one in all his dreams
And man that was it.
He never once looked back, he'd found something, he just knew was gonna last.
And if you ask him 'bout that day
He'll just tap his chest and say.
'That's how you know'
When it grabs a hold of you and won't let go
And it feels like she's always been in your soul
And as time goes by she's still surprisin' you.
That's how you know it's true.
When a new love feels old and an old loves feel new.
Jake watched silently as Sam began to dance with her kid brother to the words while his Mom tugged his Dad onto what he assumed was the makeshift dance floor. She was smiling up at her husband as he pretend to protest but even from here he could see that his father was every bit as willing to dance with her. All around him folks started moving towards the place where people were dancing; even Wyatt moved off and took his pregnant wife's surprised hand.
Jake glanced sideways when he felt someone shift over to stand next to him. Next to him stood Jen Kenworthy, her blonde hair hung in its usual plats and she was wearing another bright color. Somehow the girl always managed to hurt his eyes with all of her colors. She was nearly as bad as Callie, only she only wore bright clothing, rather than offensively bright hair. Jake glanced away again before she had the chance to look him in the eye. He felt a little bit guilty and a lot uncomfortable about eavesdropping on her emotional breakdown this morning.
"You look a little shocked there Ely." Jen said to him. She didn't speak loud enough to draw any attention to him and Jake wondered why she had moved over near him at all. They still didn't get along, and as far as he knew she was still irritated at him for being on River Bend this morning while she was there. Jake didn't say anything, but fought to hide his smirk when she sighed in irritation.
"You know" she began, and Jake wondered what had possessed her. Normally she avoided him. "I didn't really think about it before, I guess you could say I didn't even notice, but Sam mentioned something to me this morning that made me realize something." Jen said. Jake stayed still in silent nonchalance waiting for her to continue, it was a trick he learned young and one that usually guaranteed that people would tell him things far easier than if he questioned them for information. And she had picked a topic that had definitely piqued his interest.
Samantha Forster.
"I saw your jaw drop when she started singing up there. Made me remember that the old Sam would have been way too nervous to do something like that. That information, coupled with something she said to me this morning got me to thinkin'." Jen said, she somehow sounded as though she was analyzing the whole thing with her scientific brain, yet still sounded full of wonder.
"I realized that I hadn't really noticed just how much Sam had changed. It seemed gradual to me. Even logical in a way." Jen said conclusively and Jake tensed to keep himself from twitching in irritation. She was being purposefully evasive. Somehow Jake managed to bite his tongue on his curiosity until she sighed again and continued.
"You know, when you left four years ago I thought she was just a little down because she missed you. I didn't actually find out until almost three weeks later that you'd broken up with her and then left." Jake noted the accusing tone in her voice and wondered if it was aimed at Sam for not telling her, or at him for breaking up with Sam like a fool in the first place. "For those three weeks she was so quite it was almost like talking to you rather than to Samantha, and I thought she just wanted a little space because she missed seeing you around. Then Grace asked me one afternoon when I called to ask Sam to come riding with me, if Sam was handling the break up ok."
Jake remained silent as he reflected on the first three weeks he spent away from home and away from Sam. It had been horrible. Every mile he'd driven away from her had been a mile he cursed because he wanted nothing more than to turn his truck right back around until he had her wrapped in his arms again. He'd missed home and his horse, but not like he'd missed Sam.
"You really have no idea do you?" Jen asked as though she was appalled "I don't know if any of the Forsters told you about it, or maybe even if Sam told you about it, but she changed after you left. And you know what the really awful thing is Ely? The really terrible thing is that I remember thinking it was for the best. In school Sam had always been getting Bs and Cs for her grades, but she started getting A's in every subject. Even Algerbra. She started taking on more work at school, like she took over as editor of the school paper, took as many stories a she could. Our last two years at Darton High we had papers the thickest they'd ever been, And Sam got popular."
At this Jake felt his own eyebrows raise. Sam had always been liked well enough by her peers, but she rarely made much of an effort to maintain friendships outside of himself and Jen, and occasionally Ally. Jen snorted in bemusement.
"I remember feeling a little jealous at the time. It was like you left and Sam began to shine. She got involved in everything she could; she even joined the school basket ball team. Sam graduated with a letterman jacket to her name. In fact she almost got valedictorian over me. I'm fairly certain she told the principal that she didn't want it and refused to write a speech, meaning the old girl had to give it to me instead." Jen said, still sounding a little shocked and slightly put out about it.
"My mum said that Sam grew more and more like Louise every day. She opened her heart to anyone who needed her. I suppose she already kind of did that, but now she did it for anyone. I remember she even got to know Daisy, that awful faux friend of Rachel Slocum, and helped her get her life together because she had a broken home and had begun abusing drugs. It used to be just the animals that opened her up like that, but she does it for everyone now." Jen said before she murmured, "Ryan even joked once or twice that it was almost like Sam had become a saint in your absence."
"I guess I just took it at face value, but I didn't really realize until today that for all that she got quiet. I never really noticed how she shut down about herself. She'd just stop talking like you do." Jake watched Jen turn and look directly at him, he even turned his head a little in a way that meant he could see her but still kept his face in the shadow of his hat. "She'd clam right up for a minute or two and then she'd change the subject. And I didn't even work out until today that she was doing because she had this way of doing that somehow made you forget what you'd asked her about herself."
"Look at her Jake." Jen murmured as Sam stood her brother back on his feet, put down her guitar and then twirled in wide circles across the ranch yard until she stood in front of her Dad and Step mother. Brynna was sitting and looking uncomfortable in how pregnant she was, while Wyatt brushed back his wife's hair. Sam smiled at her parents and Jake watched from across the ranch yard as she laughed happily and offered her hand to Wyatt, bowing a little. From where he stood he could see the devious smile on her face and mischief in her eyes and realized she was asking him to get up in front of all these people and dance with her to the song Quinn was now singing. Jake was surprised when Wyatt took her hand and let her drag him back to the area that had been cleared for dancing in front of the makeshift stage.
"Wyatt always gets the first dance, if you don't count Cody." Jen murmured, watching them as they began to dance. Jake watched in amazement as Sam twirl and swayed with her father. More surprised to see that Wyatt could dance beyond a simple waltz or shuffle than to see Sam twirling around in her high heels.
After a time Jen began to speak again and Jake listened to but never took his eyes off Sam.
"You really hurt her Ely." Jen said bluntly "More than even I realized. Truthfully I think you hurt her even more than Ryan hurt me this morning. I've been thinking about it all day, it's so much easier to think back over Sam's life during the last four years than to think of my own right now and during the day I worked out several things. I'm sure you already knew about how reckless she got awhile back, but I worked out today that it wasn't just because she wanted to test her boundaries. Part of her was being that crazy, I'm almost certain of it, in the hopes that if something bad enough happened, or if you heard about how she was behaving you would leave college and come back.
I also worked out that she's slightly twisted part of her seemed to relish the pain. She didn't avoid talking about you or take down any pictures she had of the two of you. In fact she collected as many of them as she could." Jen said.
"I know." Jake interrupted her. Jen raised her eyebrows at him. Jake shrugged his shoulders in response. "Got here yesterday, been in her room." Jake watched in amusement as Jen's mind began to whirl behind her glasses. No doubt she was analyzing the significance of Jake having been in Sam's room. "Have you seen all of the pictures?" Jen asked him curiously, sounding doubtful.
"Have you?" He challenged her. Jen pursed her lips.
"I think so." She replied. She stood silent for a few moments after that as they both watched Sam laugh while she danced with her father. Jake noticed that she looked happy. "You know something. I worked it out. I worked out how she didn't burst into tears when people asked about you, this morning she told it hurt so bad that it was like being suckered punched, but not once in the past four years have I ever seen that girl cry Jake. I've seen her bite her lips so hard that it bled, and seen her throw a punch at the barn door on River Bend and even seen her launch herself of the back of a galloping horse to save a damned calf in a stampede, but not once did I see her shed a single tear." Jen said slowly.
"But I've worked it out now. All that pain she was in, and for all I know still is, she kept locked in. At first I thought maybe she just bottled it all up or just didn't care. But I was wrong. Have you worked it out yet?" Jen asked Jake. Jake dragged his eyes away from the beautiful girl he was staring at to meet Jen's glasses covered gaze. When he just stared at her in silence Jen smirked at him.
"Do you see him?" Jen asked softly nodding her head towards the hills behind the stone ranch house. Jake turned and his eyes searched the darkened hillside until they landed on the slight movement of a tail blowing in the breeze. A silvery white tail, Jake knew, though in the darkness the Stallion was almost invisible. How had Jen spotted the stallion in the gloom of the hillside whilst chattering away at him? Jake wondered if Sam knew the stallion was there because he had a distinct feeling that stallion had been drawn here by her singing and now stood watching and waiting. Did the stallion wait for her to take up the microphone again or was he here simply to check on the only human he trusted?
Before his very eyes, even as Jake peered at the stallion he seemed to disappear into the gloom. Jake glanced back at Jen when she started talking again. "I didn't really notice until I watched her today and put together the words that she said to me with how to deal with a break up. Tell me Jake, did you notice the thick braided rope of horse hair around her wrist?" Jake nodded; Sam had been wearing that horse hair bracelet since she was thirteen, though he had noticed that it had grown in thickness.
"Today Sam told me that the solution to dealing with this rubbish situation I am currently in is to under no circumstances, given in to my emotion and cry. At least not where anyone can see. That's what she said to me. Have you worked it out yet Jake? Have you worked out whose shoulder she cried into, no doubt every night?" Jen asked him. Even as Jen spoke Jake was searching the hillside again for a glimpse of the stallion.
"Maybe you also noticed that she has a thick rope of silver horse hair hanging around her neck?" Jen said, even as Jake's eyes fell to Sam's throat where the braided horse hair necklace rested against her skin. Jake felt his blood run cold at Jen's next words.
"How long do you suppose it took before Sam grew reckless enough to finger comb the tail of a wild stallion in a way that gained her enough hair to make that necklace?"