Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Not even a little tiny blonde hair.
WOWZA! Okay, only a two month delay this time! HUZZAHHH!
Anyway. Yeah. Well, I've had a lot going on lately, what with finals and all. And then, somehow, I wound up with a World of Warcraft character and loaddddds of free time over winter break and…yeah. Well. You know how that goes.
And then we had to put my dog to sleep, and I've had her since I was but a wee little thing, so that was really hard. And of course, we all know I'm susceptible to writer's block like…well. I was going to come up with something witty to write here, but I can't think of anything.
But the good thing is, CHAPTER FOURTEEN IS HEREEEE! Yeah:D
I'm afraid to say that I'm actually satisfied with this chapter, because I know that as soon as I say that you're all going to tell me you hate it, but whatever. I AM SATISFIED. RAAAR.
My musical inspiration varied over the two weeks it took me to finish writing this. It started with "Umbrella" by The Postal Service, then "Sleep" by Azure Ray, and lastly (most importantly) "Your Love Song" by Angela Aki. Damn…that song always gets my flow going. :D
Oh…and, uh, Happy New Year, everyone. Welcome to 2008….what's your resolution?
LEAVE ME A REVIEW TELLING ME. :D
Special Thanks:
Soporific, YoungSasuke, Brandy Camel, hushhushyou, graviola, Zelha, Kineticfairy, runwithskizzers, Sagitarious Devil, cottoncandyskies, MidnightRosebud, jaishe, Masked and Dangerous, DesslerAlmeida, Claud-kun, TwistedAttraction, Nyaro, darklace15, Inuzuka Nin, Incognito Temptation, olhai.lirios, fleeting thought, insaneteacup, charl, kinomoto blossom, lepetitchat, pinkLaLa-o3, Whii-chan, Kawaii IceCream, the blanket, Darkofthenight, Sienna Maiu, clenalyn, serenitydreemz, SnowballoC, sakura9898, DeviouslyEeyore, nhix, 00vixey00, Only Secret, jami16, Alucius, hibiscussummoner, Captain Stu, xrose45623, 20 Thousand Leagues, Pure Essence, RLO, keigojin, icygirl2, DeepFreeze, yourdarkdesire, tarzi-kins, nhix, BastetAzazis, Sabaku no Senshi, PrincessLazyPants, Arella, eeeee.eee.eeee, Pearl Drop Rain, Dattabayo, Teefie, fuu-nk, mak0-ch1, Ribs On The Run, Bea.., FlamedraSeer7213, iFo0l
ESPECIALLY:
Soporific, because I love your reviews.
cottoncandyskies, because I love the mini romances you write for Go and Review-chan, haha!
runwithskizzers, because you always manage to make me laugh (and smile with both glee and pride). And because you're a really great author.
Acknowledgements:
Only Secret: Well…if I update in two months instead of six can I still have the brownies:D
runwithskizzers: So I think you're one of those people who's really cute and funny and charming on the outside, but really you're just plotting to destroy the world. That's my theory, anyway. Haha, thank you sososo much for your support and your reviews…I'm always looking forward to what you have to say. Seriously. And you really need to write more often, too.
xrose45623: Your review was very much appreciated…and I have no intentions of leaving this story to rot and die when it's so close to the end, so no worries.
Kineticfairy: Wow…when I read that I was pretty much giddy like a little schoolgirl. That was really…wow. Haha, I'm glad you like this so much…reviews like that one give me the drive to keep going even when I'm trying to balance out too many things at once.
Brandy Camel: THERE YOU GO AGAIN. You and your effortless funny…pfft…
RLO: Yay! Glad you've enjoyed it so far…but you're actually pretty lucky that you never found this until now, because I'm, like, terrible with deadlines. Haha!
Nyaro: Your review made me smile ridiculously big. I was like "Aw, shucks…" and then I realized "CRAP! Now I have to work hard to make the ending really, really good!" Haha, thank you very much. And glad you liked the song.
Sagitarious Devil: I know it was cliché, I know…but I couldn't help it! It was just so perfect, haha! And I'm a sucker for the sweet stuff, despite the nature of this fic. XD
cottoncandyskies: You still make me laugh, every time. Haha. Thank you for the wonderful reviewsssss!
Dattabayo: Thank you! And…yes. A happy ending is in store, I promise.
Teefie: I love you. Haha! No, but really, I was so happy when I read your review. :D
FlamedraSeer7213: I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! I really hope the rest will live up to your expectations. Thank you sooooo so much!
iFo0l: Thank you for the review…I'm sorry, again, for the repetitiveness. For a while I was honestly getting really tired of this story, so I was just trying to get chapters over and done with. I'll try to work on that.
Reviews are love, sooo….SEND ME SOME LOVIN'!
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Chapter Fourteen: Strength and WeaknessIt had stopped raining about an hour ago, but it was still cold and the vestiges of mist hung around damp alleyways and a heavier fog flowed in through the two red entrance gates of the village.
Before these gates stood Sasuke, a lone, dark figure in the mist.
He was still soaked from the earlier downpour, but now Sakura was gone and nearly all the villagers were huddled around their fires in their homes, leaving an aching sense of melancholy loneliness about the normally cheerful place.
He sighed heavily, staring off into the forest just beyond the gates. For Sasuke, freedom had always been so close…yet so painfully forbidden. Even before he had abandoned Konoha, he had always felt tied to this place. They had suppressed him and bound him to a teacher with the sharingan in the hopes that he would remain here, always watching, always scolding him for thinking about his dead family and brother.
Sasuke turned from the gates, walking back in the direction of his apartment.
His chains were even tighter, now.
Oh, the irony.
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Her clothes were fresh and dry, but her unusually pink hair was still wet and dripping down the nape of her neck.
She cupped her chin in one hand, staring at the glass before her, unseeing, even as her other hand formed shapes in the condensation there.
Sakura was certain that Sasuke had been genuine in what he had said to her, but she couldn't help but worry over their last conversation. The more time they spent together, the closer she felt to him, the more time she wanted to spend with him. She had never been any less in love with Sasuke, regardless of all the years she spent denying it. But now that it came down to it, she wasn't so sure she was ready to take the plunge again.
Unrequited love is meant to remain that way, after all.
The pot of water on the stove in the kitchen gave a sharp, sudden whistle, breaking her from her reverie.
She stared for a long moment at the ghost of a familiar fan in the misted window before swiping her hand across it and making her way down the hall.
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Sasuke almost never meditated.
It was supposed to relax you, make your mind sharper, and, in some forms, was meant to help you sleep.
Sasuke hated relaxing. It made him feel vulnerable. His mind was already quite sharp, and he could never sleep well anyway, so what was the point?
But, hell, there was nothing else to do in his apartment.
He focused on breathing, first…in and out, nice and slow…long, deep breaths to oxygenate the blood and deliver more air throughout his system. Once he had that down, he moved on to chakra control.
You were supposed to move it in gentle waves throughout your chakra highways. Let the energy steadily ripple through your body; let it flow out and in, back and forth. However, during the rare occasions when he did meditate, Sasuke just liked to let it go. He let his control slip, let his energy roam throughout his body freely. It felt good, just letting go, in general, for one minute or one hour. It wasn't a rush, all that power rippling through him; it wasn't exciting or dangerous, it was just…easy. Calming. Rejuvenating.
Suddenly, his chakra sucked back to its normal web of controlled power, his breathing returned to normal. Sasuke opened his eyes, frowning.
It was how he felt when he was around Sakura.
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Sakura made a sour face as she took a sip of her tea, wondering why it was so bitter…she made it just the same as she always did.
Setting the cup back down on the surface of her tiny kitchen table, she curled her fingers tightly around the warm porcelain, staring at her small hands. A lot of people gawked at the size of them after seeing her strength, but Sakura had never really classified it like that—power.
It was just a matter of knowing when to release your chakra…more brains than brawn, really. She had always been that way, ever since Team 7 first formed. A lot of people would also gawk at her when she told them she was a medic after she had just punched her way through a wall. To Sakura, however, the two things were nearly the same…careful chakra manipulation, precise control, and release at the right moment.
Some people would call it an amazing power.
Sakura, usually, would tell them to look at Naruto.
She wrinkled her nose as she finished her bitter tea, staring down at the dregs distastefully.
Vaguely, she asked herself if things would ever go back to normal.
Snorting softly, she realized she really didn't want them to.
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Sasuke stared down into his small mug of tea and wondered when, exactly, it had started tasting so bad when he drank it alone.
He sighed softly and poured the remainder down the sink, filling a glass of water instead. He faintly remembered his father scolding him for wasting anything, when he was small. Then again, he also remembered his father always favoring Itachi, so it was rather hard for him to care, these days.
He had nearly made it down the hall and into his bedroom when a sharp rapping sounded at his door. He stood there for a long moment, staring at the dark wooden surface and wondering why someone would be visiting him and how they would know he was home before he realized that, whoever it was, it was substantially rude to just make them stand there. Swinging the door ajar, he opened his mouth to ask his visitor what they wanted only to find the landing before his apartment quite empty. Brow furrowed, he stepped outside, the cold touch of metal brushing against his bare feet in the process. Automatically he stepped back, head snapping down.
He stared at the object for a long moment before bending down and taking it in his hands with a soft smirk, running his thumb over the familiar scratch in his old forehead protector.
He exhaled sharply through his nose.
"Dobe."
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The tiny ramen house was blissfully warm compared to the chilled night behind them.
Sakura pushed her face far closer than necessary to her steaming bowl of half-gone noodles, trying to warm her face and coax away the flushed pink of her frigid nose.
"It's not supposed to be this cold yet," she muttered sulkily to no one in particular. "It's still spring!"
"Hm," Naruto managed thoughtfully through a mouthful of his favorite food, glancing out at the low mist that still clung to the unusually cold village. His cobalt eyes narrowed, and the boy turned back around in his seat, crossing his arms in what she knew was supposed to be a pose of serious contemplation. She hid her smile behind a small hand, thinking that it was rather hard to take him seriously with his cheeks puffed out, full of soup.
After a moment he swallowed, nodding wisely.
"It's a metaphor, Sakura-chan."
She lowered her hand, smile cracking wider as she watched him pick up his chopsticks once more.
"For what?"
He looked at her, his serious façade beginning to crumble. There was mirth in his eyes and his lips were quivering from trying to hold in one of his famous grins.
"Well, the teme's practically a walking icicle so—"
"Naruto!" she laughed, swatting his arm playfully. "You're awful!"
"Aw, Sakura-chan," he pouted, "you know it's true, though…"
"Naruto!"
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She was smiling as she walked up to him.
It wasn't the usual soft smile she gave him, nor was it one she plastered on in a vain attempt at keeping her thoughts to herself.
Her cheeks were pink with cold and laughter; her eyes were glittering, lips parted in what was the most genuine smile she had ever given him.
Secretly, he thought it suited her quite nicely.
She stopped in front of him, glancing down the street before her eyes came back to his, green and bright in the moonlight.
"Walk with me?" she asked him, the same as she always did. He found it mildly amusing, that she still gave him the choice, as if he might have somewhere else to go, some other engagement.
But that didn't stop him from nodding as he stood, because he knew that somewhere, deep down, he was grateful that she always gave him the option to refuse—despite the fact that he knew he never would.
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Sasuke had expected her to lead him to many places, but the old bridge was not one of them.
He leaned against the railing to her right, watching her face carefully as she stared across the shallow water. The smile still lingered at the corners of her lips, quirking them upwards slightly regardless of the horrible weather; laughter still glimmered somewhere in the depths of her soft green eyes.
She seemed so at ease, so comfortable and carefree.
Suddenly, he felt like he shouldn't be there. He didn't belong in her life—she deserved far better than him…whatever he was to her. They were at different ends of the spectrum entirely, in every aspect of life. She was everything he wasn't and everything he could not be, and he was…
Hell, he didn't even know what he had that could possibly appeal to her. He was a selfish bastard, and he knew it—everything he had done in his life had been for his own purposes, up until now. And when all was said in done, all he had left was Sakura.
His brow furrowed, the ghost of a frown passing over his face as he averted his eyes out across the gurgling stream.
No…no, that wasn't true. Sakura wasn't a last resort, wasn't something to pass the time with, wasn't a buffer for his loneliness.
She was just…just…
He turned to look at her again, only to have their eyes meet.
Honestly…he couldn't find the right words to describe exactly what she was to him. And strangely, it was suddenly a lot harder to think while she was looking at him.
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Sakura could see his confusion in the tiny furrow between his brows and the slight downward tilt at the corners of his lips.
His eyes, however, were as unreadable as they had always been.
It was funny, that she had never been able to see anything in his eyes—just their dark color, bottomless pools of black. Once, a long time ago, she had thought them to be the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen; but if all they ever were was a blank canvas, then what was the point? Sakura had often heard that eyes were supposed to be the window to a person's soul, so…what exactly did that mean?
She offered him a small smile, turning her eyes back out across the water.
Sasuke wasn't soulless, nor was he as cold as some people made him out to be—or, really, as cold as he'd like to be. He was just quiet and thoughtful, more keen on keeping to himself than seeking conversation.
Honestly, Sakura didn't blame him.
Everyone he loved had been taken from him once already—it was only reasonable that he wanted people to stay at a distance. And now that his brother was gone, he was the only person he had left. He was a lost little boy again, a lonely orphan without a family or any real friends.
And then she stopped herself, looking back at him looking at her.
That wasn't entirely true…he had her.
And as much as she was loath to admit it, he would always have her whether she was wanted or not.
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Sasuke watched her emerald orbs as the happiness in them slowly melted away, replaced with a tinge of sadness and something else he could never quite read.
He averted his gaze to once more watch the moonlit water sifting past them, wondering how he always managed to take all her cheer without even saying anything. She truly was one of the strangest girls he had ever met—her mood was constantly changing, her expressions never quite the same each time you looked. In contrast, he had always worn a stoic mask of indifference; even now, it was rare to find him when his guard was down. But Sakura…
There was just a certain air about her, something that radiated warmth despite the cold weather and mist. He was a selfish man, to take everything she offered him, everything he did not deserve.
But he knew that, despite this, he would still keep all that she gave.
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Sakura gently brushed her small fingers over the back of his left hand, frowning at the numerous scars that laced their way from fingers to elbow. She could feel his heavy gaze on her as she gingerly took his hand in hers, turning it over and tracing her fingertips across his palm.
"This is from your chidori, isn't it?" she asked softly. Even though she wasn't looking, she could feel his nod.
"Normally chakra keeps the skin intact," he spoke, voice soft and smooth, "but when you run out, this happens."
Sakura knew this. She was a medic, and knew what overused jutsu could do to the body—especially when it was an elemental technique. But for some reason, looking at his scars and knowing there were so many more—inside and out—that she couldn't do anything about hurt.
It hurt to know that she hadn't been there, hurt to know that if this was from his own jutsu then that meant what his brother had done to him had been so much worse. It hurt to know that she hadn't helped to bring him home, that she hadn't been there when Naruto dragged him into the hospital.
It hurt to know that he was still hurting, whether or not he chose to admit it.
And suddenly there were tears slipping down her cheeks, slowly, and to the already dampened wood of the bridge they stood on.
She gently curled his fingers, pressing her lips to his knuckles.
"I'm sorry," she hiccupped, closing her eyes and trying to stop crying. "I'm sorry for…not being there."
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He stared down at her for a long moment, tears running down her porcelain cheeks and onto his hand as she held it against her lips.
Watching her cry and apologize over something that had nothing to do with her frustrated him, more than anything. They were just scars; yes, his arm had hurt like hell at the time, but what was the point in worrying over something that was already done?
Her fingers tightened over his fist, and something in his chest lurched, suddenly, in a feeble attempt at life.
Sasuke had always looked at emotions as more of a weakness, than anything. They had always been nothing but a burden to him, leaving an ache in his bones when he was small and a hole in his chest as he grew older. Attachment to someone was a one-way ticket to pain, something that would only wind up leaving him in misery. So why bother, he had often asked himself, if he would just wind up regretting it later? Why bother with emotions, with bonds, with love?
But now, as he looked at her, he realized that keeping those feelings intact over the years was her greatest strength. It didn't matter that she still loved him when he didn't deserve it. What mattered was the fact that she still did, that she still had the ability to love, to form bonds with other people.
She had persevered over the years, lost many and gained many, too. And in the end, he knew that she would keep persevering, keep loving, because that's just the kind of person she was.
He gently took his hand from hers, brushed her hair back and pushed her chin up to look at him.
Her eyes opened, green and shimmering with tears, and that same something he couldn't name in his chest lurched again.
"Why do I always make you cry?"
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His voice was soft and hesitant, questioning. It was the first time she had ever heard his voice sound like this, and she tried not to cry harder, taking a deep breath through her nose and shutting her eyes tightly as she tried to find the right words.
She didn't want to tell him that she was crying because she loved him, or because it hurt to know that he would never love her. She didn't want to tell him that it hurt just to be here with him tonight, knowing that.
She just wanted to go home, curl up beneath her covers and forget his scars and his face and her love for him and just start over.
Sakura reopened her eyes and looked into his, ready to tell him that she really needed to go and that she was sorry, so sorry. But as she stared into those pools of obsidian, normally so hard and unreadable, she saw something flicker across them—something she couldn't quite describe. It was something akin to…loss. Or pain. Or caring.
And suddenly she could think of nothing else to say or do but hold his firm shoulders and crush her lips to his.
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Submit Review-chan didn't get her kiss under the mistletoe this year…maybe Go can help remedy that situation…
Peace,
Dani