Chapter 14: Comfort

I lay in bed beside Loren feeling like I was going to be sick. He had fallen asleep but I couldn't. My mind wouldn't shut down. I silently slipped out of his bed and gathered my clothes. I felt like I had been a complete idiot. I pulled my clothes on and grabbed my phone off the floor. I left his room quietly, closing the door behind me. My actions felt mechanic. I just needed to get out of the teacher's building and back to my dorm.

As it turned out, I didn't make it back to the dorm. On the way there, I somehow ended up back near the old oak tree and collapsed onto the ground against it. Dawn was breaking across the sky and it illuminated the campus beautifully.

But I couldn't pay attention to that. I held my head in my hands and sobbed. The sobs erupted from my chest and all I could think about how stupid I had been to listen to Loren's words. How could I have fallen under his spell like that? How could I have fallen for his charm like that?

You didn't Imprint with him, I mentally chanted. You didn't drink any of his blood and he didn't drink any of yours.

I didn't know how long I was out there before I felt arms circle around me. I stiffened but then as he said, "It's okay, I've got you." I relaxed.

I knew who it was immediately. I didn't have any idea why he was there or how he had found me, but I was so relieved to have Jason there with me. He didn't ask me what was wrong or what had happened or anything like that. He just held me and allowed me to bury my head in his neck and cry.

My sobbing was interrupted by my phone ringing. I wiped at my eyes and cleared my throat before answering it.

I could barely get a word out before Aphrodite was yelling at me. "Where the fuck are you? I've been trying to call you! It's getting light out, can you please get back to the dorms before I pop a blood vessel or something?"

"Yeah," I croaked. "I'll be there soon, I'll explain everything then."

She hung up and I met Jason's eyes for the first time since he had arrived. His face looked guarded, but I could see worry clouded deep in his eyes. "Do you want to talk about what happened or…?"

"Not particularly," I said hollowly, shaking my head. "How did you know to come here?"

He shrugged. "I could feel that you were upset. I couldn't exactly see what was wrong but I could just sense it. It woke me up."

"You shouldn't have come," I sniffled.

He stiffened and I saw anger contort his features. "Really, Jess? You're pushing me away again?"

"No!" I said, gripping the collar of his jacket. "No, it's just; I don't think it's safe for you here. I'm happy you're here."

He opened his mouth, and then closed it again, as if deciding against what he was going to say. After another moment of hesitation, he took a deep breath and said, "Listen, Jess, I know you won't like this very much, but I've been meaning to tell you for a while. I miss you. I didn't want to admit it to anyone. I'd been meaning to call you and then this happened." His words made me want to burst into tears all over again. If possible, it made me feel even worse about what had happened between Loren and me. His expression had changed from guarded to completely vulnerable.

"I've missed you too," I said, hating to hear how my voice shook with unshed tears.

"You should get to bed, you look worn out," he said. He hauled me to my feet and gently touched my face. "Can we please try? We'll take it slow."

I nodded, not trusting my voice just yet. He leaned in to kiss me, but I lurched backwards. I didn't think I'd be able to handle that right now, not after what had just happened. Something changed in his eyes, so before he could get too offended I said, "It's not you, I promise, I've just had a really rough night. Will you text me when you get home? I'll probably be asleep, but I'll answer when I wake up."

"Yeah, for sure," he said, squeezing my hand. "We'll get through this, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered, trying to blink away the tears threatening to form in my eyes. He turned and walked away from me, back the way he had come from and I took a deep breath and headed to the dorms. I knew a shit show from Aphrodite would be awaiting me when I got there but now that I thought about it, all I wanted to do was crawl into my own bed.

I entered the girls' dorm building and climbed up the stairs and walked down the hall to Aphrodite and my room. When I got inside she was sitting up in bed, scowling in my direction.

"Where the fuck have you been?" she demanded.

"I'm sorry," I said immediately, climbing into bed. Oscar, who had been dozing on my pillow, had woken up and came towards me, nuzzling my knee with his nose. "He…he took my phone and wouldn't let me answer it."

Her scowl softened and she gently asked, "What happened?"

And then, as if something had opened up inside of me, everything just came spilling out. I told Aphrodite everything that had happened, including Jason's impromptu visit. I felt tears stinging at my eyes but I blinked them away. I didn't want to cry any more about this. I would not shed any more tears over Loren Blake.

Aphrodite was silent as she processed everything I had told her. Finally she very quietly asked, "Are you alright?"

I shook my head. "Not really, no."

"But did Jason coming here help you at all?"

"Yeah, actually it did," I said. "I know it's against the rules but we might actually be able to make things work."

"Well you're going to have to make it clear to Blake that you are not interested," she said.

"I think my leaving was message enough," I said. "Do you think I could convince Neferet or Professor Nolan to let me change classes?"

"Definitely not Neferet," she said. "Hell, she probably put you in his class on purpose in the first place. And as far as I know, Nolan can't make timetable changes, not even for her own fledglings. It has to go through the High Priestess and she has to approve it. Neferet would probably make up some excuse to not let you change."

"Shit," I muttered.

"Yeah, for now you're stuck," she said. "It blows. But, we should get to bed. Thankfully we don't have class tomorrow. Blake was probably riding on that so if you stayed he could have you for another night–especially after you wouldn't let him drink your blood or let him have any of yours."

I shuddered. "I thought he was going to force me to drink from him and let him drink from me. I was worried."

"It might've come to that," she said quietly. "And he may try it again, so just be careful, alright?"

"I will," I said. I slid off my bed and went into the bathroom to get my pyjamas on and wash my face and brush my teeth. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I saw how terrible I looked. My eyes were puffy and red, mascara was streaked down my cheeks, and my hair was a mess. I shuddered at myself and tried to comb through my hair and get the mascara tracks off my face.

When I was semi happy with how I looked, I went back into our room to see that Aphrodite had already turned the lights off. I slid into bed and stared at the ceiling for a few moments before quietly saying, "Aphrodite?"

"Hmmm?" she mumbled.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For staying up and waiting for me," I said. "And for listening to me and not judging me for what I did. That was…that was really nice of you."

She was silent for a few minutes before very quietly saying, "That's what friends are for."