I Will Find You
A Recca no Honoo fic
By Tenshi no Ai
Naaa...I don't own the plot line and characters from Flame of Recca...but I *do* own this plot!
(A/N: Ehehe, Miki's secondary madougu is called the Yamabiko', not Yamabiki'. Gomen ne...)
Ch. 14: I Do What I Have To Do
(Yanagi, Recca and Neon's POV)
(Yanagi's POV)
I promise...I'll do my best to heal you, Kurei, I murmur to the prone body lying haphazardly on the ground, his head in my lap, I'll heal you, not just because of Tendoujigoku, but...
Recca
Neon
...there are people who truly want you to be okay... I smile to myself, knowing that if Recca were here right now, listening to me, he would vehemently disagree and make a big show about how he could care less about his oniisan, but...
I look up, startled. Fuuko comes running up to me, and I can tell that she's still weak from the fight with Tendoujigoku just by the way she moves. Fuuko-chan, could you tell Mikagami-senpai and Raiha-san to help me with Kurei-san? A funny anxiousness fills my stomach when Fuuko grins at me and gives me a funny salute, then runs back to the others.
She thinks that the hard part is over.
Maybe for her, but...
No, I can't doubt!
Everything will be okay...
I hear feet shuffling up to me, and I make sure to smile. I have to look strong from now on... Mikagami-senpai, Raiha-san, I say without a tremble in my voice, looking up at the two men. You know, they kind of look alike, except for the colors of their long hair...
That's it Yanagi, don't think about...other things...
Fuuko-san said that you requested us? Raiha smiles down at me, trying to hide his sadness. I don't think that he knows exactly why Neon petrified so quickly. Mikagami merely raises his eyebrows, something that I can't exactly see through the veil of the night but I've seen enough times to picture.
Yes...please, can the both of you carry Kurei-san and place him next to Neon-san? I hear myself say.
Nervousness rises in my stomach with each word I utter.
Mikagami shrugs--apparently he doesn't find the request too odd--and walks over to me. He crouches down to get a hold of Kurei's shoulders while Raiha picks up Kurei's feet. Together they carefully step over to Neon's body. Mikagami puts Kurei's upper body down with a little more respect than he would a box; Raiha reverently places Kurei's feet down onto the concrete sidewalk.
I stand and place one foot in front of the other, my goal simply to walk over to everyone else without...without...
Without doubting myself.
Once I watched an American movie with the phrase, The stakes are too high to mess up now.'
I never knew what that meant until now.
You see, I've never had to be the person bearing all the weight...rather, I've been the weight.
I know now what Recca...what all my friends have to go through.
Oh, no.
I've reached them.
Everyone looks at me. In Miki and Raiha's eyes, I see a sort of hope. In Mikagami and Kagerou's eyes, I see calmness.
In Aki's eyes, I see doubt.
And in Fuuko's eyes, I see that we've already won.
I start, empowered by Fuuko's strength, I think I know how to free Neon-san's soul from Tendoujigoku.
Aki looks at me like I said something very heretical. How, then?
If I can get inside of Tendoujigoku's essence and find Neon-san's soul, all I would have to do is open the way to Neon-san's body, I look over at the statue next to Kurei's prone body, but I'll also have to make sure that Tendoujigoku is destroyed after Neon-san's soul is back within her body, because he can still absorb her soul anyway.
Everyone is silent. That's good.
That means they haven't figured out the main hole in my plan.
So, how would you go about in doing this, Yanagi-san? Mikagami asks, somewhat apprehensively. The anxiety wiggles around, nothing like the anticipation I felt earlier today.
He knows, but he'd rather focus on something else first.
I need Recca-kun here...to turn me into a partial flame angel... I reluctantly reveal.
The response is instantaneous.
Ehhh? But, you have to be... Fuuko trails off. I have a feeling that she doesn't want to remember that other time. Kagerou and Mikagami both look at me in surprise, while Raiha, Miki and Aki stare at me cluelessly.
I shake my head. No, no. I shouldn't have to...die...this time. I remember that Recca-kun somehow managed to use his own soul to rescue me from Tendoujigoku...I believe that the karyuu will let me do the same, seeing that I was once a part of them...
I hope
...so all I need now is Recca-kun, I smile. Fuuko looks very relieved. That's good. I don't want to unnecessarily worry everyone.
Um...and how will you do this? Raiha quietly asks, We were told that Recca-san was in the karyuu's world.
I smile at Raiha. Recca-kun is in the karyuu's world, but maybe I can bring him back...let me just concentrate, please... Everyone falls silent, and I close my eyes, clasping my hands against my chest.
Once, I was Recca's flame angel, and the karyuu surrounded me, letting me use their power. The karyuu's world was closed off when Tendoujigoku's form was destroyed. Now it's open again. And I was once of the same fire as them. I think...I believe that I still have a connection with them...I'm sure of it...
Please...
I want to help Kurei and Neon.
Recca...
Everyone here has helped the best they can, now and in the past...
Recca...
I want to help.
Recca
I have to help!
Recca!
I want to feel the weight of the world.
thump!
My eyes snap open. Did it work?
A roughened hand tenderly touches my arm, and I look down into Kokuu's wizened face. He smiles, his large white mustache spreading out with the expression. Yanagi-chan, I brought you a gift, courtesy of all the karyuu.
From behind me, Fuuko's voice shrieks out, Goddammit, Recca, why do you always have to land on ME?!
Then I hear him. It's not like I choose who to land on! It's your own damned fault for being in the way! Anyway, where's Hi...
I turn around, knowing that there's most likely a huge silly grin on my face. Recca stares at me, the last syllable of my official nickname trailing away into the night sky. I can see all of him, his wide storm-blue eyes, his mouth slightly open in shock.
And then he smiles at me.
All my doubt is gone.
~~~~~~~~
(Recca's POV)
Yanagi's smile is the first thing I notice about her. Kami-sama, I thought I was never gonna see that smile again, you're just in time.
Huh? Considering that stupid Kokuu knocked me out a while back and I'm only now back on Earth...I guess I wasn't out for that long. In time for what, Hime?
She gracefully steps over to me, the sleeve of her sweater brushing against my arm. Hey...isn't that one of Kaachan's sweaters...? Recca-kun, I need to heal Kurei-san and Neon-san.
I turn around, not sure what she's talking about.
Hey...there's Kurei on the ground. How'd everyone beat Tendoujigoku?
And...isn't that Neon? She's...she's...
I look up from Neon's body to Yanagi's face. She looks kinda sad now. the only way I can bring Neon-san's soul back is if I can get inside of Tendoujigoku and release Neon-san's soul. Since you were able to do that for me, if you transferred that ability to me, I should easily be able to help Neon-san and heal Kurei...
That sounds like a good idea...so why does it sound like a really bad move?
Okay, if Hime goes into Kurei's mind...into Tendoujigoku's mind' to find Neon's soul...
But Tendoujigoku wanted to absorb Yanagi's soul so it could become immortal...
And only Yanagi's soul can go into Tendoujigoku.
I gently grasp her shoulders. Hime...I'll do it. Tendoujigoku wants your soul more than he wants Neon's, right? Sides, should be easier for me to do it by myself, since I've done this before.
I'm not gonna risk Yanagi again. Too many people want her powers and...
Tendoujigoku's the worst.
she looks away from me, then places her hands on top of mine, I'm the only one that can heal. If you touched Neon-san while in Tendoujigoku, she'll turn into your flame angel. So I have to do this.
...Well, that makes me feel useless.
But why...aw, screw it, everything turns out better in the end. No use becoming all negative like Mikagami or something.
Her eyes're so serious...and she dropped the honorific around other people. She really wants to do this...
Whenever you're ready, Yanagi.
She squeezes my hands, then moves away from me, letting my hands fall away from her shoulders. I turn and watch her as she kneels down between Kurei and Neon's bodies. One of Neon's imouto, Miki, is there as well. Yanagi says, if Kurei-san should move, and Neon-san's encasing is still on, please shield everyone until they can escape.
Great, I guess she thought this through. But what's she talking about with Miki... shield'? But everyone's madougu is destroyed...and hell, the Yamabiko only could shield one person, anyway...dammit, I missed out on a lot.
I've never had that problem...I've always been in the middle of it all. Kinda weird to know that I'm missing out on everything major...
Yanagi sounds kinda hurried. I stride on over to her, walking around Kurei's body, and kneel down in front her. She places her right hand in Neon's, and her left hand in Kurei's. Lightly, I touch Yanagi's forehead with the tips of my fingers, holding my right hand out.
Okay, this is gonna work because Yanagi...I...
I'm not gonna let Yanagi die.
HOMURA!
I mean, what kinda ninja would I be if I let my hime die?
MADOKA!
Course, I coulda just said screw it, your life is the most important thing!'
RUI!
But...all life is important, even if I don't like the people.
SETSUNA!
That's what we fought for as Team Hokage...as simply Hokage ninja.
SAIHA!
And...Yanagi would be sad.
NADARE!
What kind of ninja would I be if I made my hime cry?
KOKUU!
And even if I'm not a ninja anymore, I'll still always be there for Yanagi!
RESSHIN!!!
I open my eyes quickly. Did I do everything right?
Yanagi stares blankly at me, her eyes wide and unseeing. It reminds me of when I saw her after she had lost all her memories. Her body is glowing...pale gold.
And large, translucent golden wings are spread out behind her.
~~~~~~~~~
(Neon's POV)
I probably shouldn't be feeling this...but I'm very cold, and extremely tired.
Adding to my discomfort is the apparently boundless darkness that I'm wandering in.
Before, I heard Kurei call my name.
Does that mean that...I'm in his soul?
So cold...so dark...
This is my Kurei.
I'll find him. I've got to find him...his soul manifestation.
I don't want Kurei to suffer in this eternal winter night of the new moon forever.
I smirk to myself--after all, there's no one else here--as a thought came into my mind.
Somehow, even when I'm in Kurei's soul, I'm still looking for him...
Oh, I'd laugh at the irony if it wasn't happening to me.
Well, as it is, I'm already dead. How am I supposed to get back into my stone tomb of a body? I don't feel like suffocating to death.
At least I can do something before Tendoujigoku fully assimilates my soul or the healing girl can cure Kurei.
I'll try my best to make Kurei's soul a little less dark.
...eon-san? Neon-san?
Well, that doesn't sound like Kurei...who else could get in here, anyway?
I turn around, only to see an angel before me.
Except...I've seen this angel before... Sakoshita Yanagi? I ask, disbelieving my eyes. She nods, her golden wings fluttering to keep her aloft. What...what are you doing here? How are you here? I can't help the flow of questions, or the stunned tone of voice.
I can't stay long, Neon-san, she down at me, her eyes pleading, I'm here to take your soul back to your body. We have to go before Tendoujigoku fully takes over Kurei's mind again...
It's funny how one word can change the whole situation. Suddenly, I'm the calm one, and Sakoshita is the confused girl. Neon-san, I don't understand, we really should go...
I shake my head. Hear me out, Sakoshita Yanagi. This is Kurei-sama's soul...look how bleak it is. This is not how I want Kurei-sama to live his life...I don't want him to live in a state of complete and utter... I look around once more, trying to find the right word to describe my lack of surroundings,
The angel looks away, then quickly nods, smiling serenely up at me. I understand completely. I have to go before I turn into a full flame angel...as it is, I can feel the fire coursing through me...but I will at least open the way for you.
Open the way for me? The question sounds stupid to my own ears, and thankfully Sakoshita just smiles some more and nods.
I'm sure that, if you could find Kurei-san in here and helped him find a sort of peace, Tendoujigoku might not try to challenge you, her face suddenly turns solemn, but you really must hurry...if Tendoujigoku takes over Kurei again, there's nothing I can really do.
I nod. Thank you, Sakoshita Yanagi. But...how will I find Kurei-sama in here?
The angel, already fading out, looks very thoughtful. Perhaps if you played your flute, you could find a song that leads to him...
And with those words, she's gone.
My...flute? First of all, it was destroyed with the Fukyou Waon during the Urabatousatsujin III. Second of all, I'm nothing more than a spirit with form.
...Hm.
But...I still know the notes of all my special songs by heart.
I haven't much time...which song shall I play'?
Ah...of course. The song that I thought would lead me into Kurei's heart when I used it that one time not so long ago...
I begin to hum, the notes a little deeper, a little less clearer than how they would sound by flute, but it still is that song.
A song for the dead by the living.
Maybe if it's played vice versa...maybe I will find you, Kurei.
And so, I hum loudly the one song, the only song that could possibly help.
Requiem, the song for the dead.
~Owari to the 14th part~
Okay, I'm going to talk a lot in these notes because they're my last ones for this series. Yep, that means there's two more chapters left: the last chapter and epilogue. Aiya, I really don't like writing build up transition chapters, and it shows. Sorry if Recca's part sounds too mushy and all...all things considered, Recca's POV is hardest for me to do normally...and if you knew some of my earlier ideas...ack. Yes, I realize that the order of karyuu called looks totally random. I didn't make it up, Anzai-sensei did!
Okay, originally I was gonna bitch about FF.net's new exclusions, but who wants to hear that? Instead, I'm going to reveal what Karen-chan, a friend that I met from Abekobe sent me! The most important thing in her box (!) of manga was FoR volume 32, which she bought in Japan for me! Now I finally know what the hell happened in the two chapters that I missed (okay, one of them) and it was SAD. As in I think I'm going to cry', not this is pathetic, Anzai-sensei!' I'll have a translation at my site, just because I like it that much.
The second most important thing was the FoR doujinshi she found for me as a Christmas present (I realize that it's April...I still have to send her the presents I bought too!) Yeah, if nothing else, the art is beautiful. What do you expect when the main chara is Mikagami? Um, but it's more like a co-starring position, cause, well...it's a very beautifully done, very explicit Mikagami and Recca yaoi. Says right here on the cover: ReccaxMikagami'. The doujin is called Ice', and has an intimidating Mikagami on the cover. Well, lemme describe a bit of it for your enjoyment...lesse...the main story has Mikagami tutoring Recca in math, and here Mikagami knocks Recca around for being an idiot, then he leans over Recca's shoulder to explain the problem. Recca looks over at Mikagami and blushes, then Mikagami turns and asks Recca if he's listening (and this is THE best pic of Mi-chan, IMO) and Recca's talking...eh, lemme flip a few pages...hm. Here Recca and Mikagami are standing up, and Recca's leaning into Mikagami's lips, and now Recca has Mikagami on top of the desk, and Recca's going lower on Mikagami, and lower, and...okay, that's too low for me to describe...!
And, of course, there is no mention of Yanagi' or Hime' whatsoever. ^_~
Reviewers!
Hey Showstopper! The Kotodama Aki's revenge' scene was one of the first scenes I had thought of when I decided to do all the spoiler stuff. It was also one of the oddest POV stuff to write, but hell, it was fun. I hated writing this chapter just because it's a build-up chapter, and it pro'ly shows how annoyed I was writing this. Anyway, I'm anticipating writing the next chapter just because it's the last chapter, pretty much. So that one should be better in quality. Eternally' ballad on the Distance CD...is that track number 12? If so...that's one of my favorites. ^^;; The one song that has managed to annoy me most of the time is track 9, which I played when I had a guy friend over...ugh, talk about uncomfortable. I guess we finally drained all the Hikki topics...her new CD's coming out in June from what I hear. Well, who's your favorite male J-pop/rock singer?
Rhiannon, hello! Yeah, Aki's vengeful...but she has her revenge in style! All Yanagi has up her sleeve is her experience in dealing with Tendoujigoku...and a quicker connection to the karyuu's dimension than my computer has to the internet ^^;; However, every action has its consequences...Neon's soul has a mission, next chapter will show if she succeeds! Yes, Kurei shall never have a break from my torture! Mwahaha...well, actually, check the next chapter to see if that's true ^_^
Ohayo, ChibiRaihaHK (it's three in the morning...)! Lots of things are inevitable. Like, it's inevitable that I will finish this series, hopefully by this month. It is also inevitable that someone will write and post a Tokiya/Fuuko fic in this week. Seriously though, thank you for all your kind compliments. Yanagi's ace...well, it ain't that little, and it ain't all that safe for her to use either. No, no, no, things can't get messier now, it's all going to end soon! Well, okay, things won't end nicely, but it won't get horribly messy either. I'm not spending 15 more chapters to solve the problems of the last 15 ^_^ Heh, well, if you wanna review every chapter, I'm not gonna stop you...but it's always nice to get comments, especially from nice people...
Sacharine-chan (do you mind if I use that honorific?), is something wrong? What's the sorry' for? I make comments just because I'm the type of person, it doesn't mean that ya gotta respond (no one else does, really). It just seems so odd to see only one line from you...will you email me with what's happening? Sorry if I'm making a big deal, but I'm just worried, I guess. And anyway, the story's almost over, yay! (Well, not yay, I'm finally over this story', but yay, completion feels great!')
Yeah, Foggy, that's true. Killing people left and right is also a sign of really bad storytelling, especially if there's no meaning in killing off the chara in the first place! Ehehe...I'm sorry that I just busted out with all these scenes in the manga about how the watching thing is right. Normally I'm wrong about everything, so I had to prove that at least I know Recca no Honoo ^^;; I suppose I'm just a crazed fangirl... If you did hate my fic for killing off a liked chara, I wouldn't blame you, but I've already had one person go off on me for Shiawasena, so now I'm ultra-sensitive about my plots. Stupid, yes, but then again I'm not too smart ^^;; Ah, Kurei's POV, I feel like I've finally conquered my fear of writing it...now if only I could do the same for his younger brother...oh, and there is always hope ^_^ We shouldn't ever forget that...
Yo, Luna Crescent! Yes, it wasn't VERY choppy, but it was choppy enough. Oh well, people can't have nicely-flowing minds all the time, I suppose...
Okay, so Gravitation is that short? Oh well, everyone knows that recent anime is getting shorter and shorter anyway. Okay, your last three epis were from the DVDs...well, I watched the WHOLE series like that...if I didn't have a high patience factor, I would've died. Okay, so Aizawa was the jealous dude...gotcha. Didn't like him either. Yeah, I also didn't have a clue that Lung' was Ryuichi...it was really really late when I watched those DVDs, and I'm afraid of going back... What I wish I knew was, well, WHY did they translate the English in the NY scenes in the Eng. subtitles...and how the hell did they get them wrong?! Argh, argh, argh...annoying as hell. At least my Slayers TV series DVDs are better...except that they freeze...
Ch. 15: Neon: A woman of infallible faith in the man who showed her kindness for no reason, giving her the courage to become Jyushinshuu Neon. Can she show the same kindness to Kurei and make him simply...human? In the world of the living, Recca had made a mistake that could cost Yanagi her life, and it's up to someone else to correct it. And, finally, Uruha Jyushinshuu Takagi Raiha and Hokage ninja Kirisawa Fuuko: they started this story.
How will they end?