When Calpurnia returned to the Finch house early in the morning, she found Atticus still in the same position she'd left him the night before, the only thing changed the thickness of the bags under his eyes. "Morning," she said softly, a greeting answered by a small nod from Atticus. She went into the kitchen, messing with the dishes when she heard Atticus ask: "Cal? Could you...could you call Alexandra and tell her it? And ask her then to inquire...Jack...and...God, I don't know...I believe Jean doesn't have much family left..." "Yes, mr. Finch," Cal said and she walked to the phone.
Alexandra had was shocked, but she told Calpurnia that Atticus shouldn't worry about calling people, she'd tell everyone and come as soon as possible. That, indeed, was soon: about an hour later, she stood in front of the door. In the mean time, both Scout and Jem had waken up and were now sitting with Atticus on the breakfast table. Inquiries about where mama was, were answered by Atticus with a "I'll tell you after Aunty's gotten here." The only idea behind this was that he tried to hold off the moment he'd have to speak out what happened: she was dead. Cal had opened the door, and after a short greeting Alexandra rushed to the kitchen. She stood in the door for a second, looking into Atticus's eye, who then got up and walked to his sister. "Atticus..." she whispered and took him into her arms. Atticus said nothing, but closed his eyes and returned her embrace. When they got loose, Alexandra walked to Jem and kissed the top of his head, then ruffled Scout's hair. Atticus coughed. "Jem...would you come with me to the livingroom? Alexandra, if you'd please stay here, you can have my breakfast." For some reason, he was comfortable with Alexandra's presence and the order she emitted, a characteristic that made him usually feel uneasy. Jem shrugged and walked with his father.
In the living room, Atticus sat down and let Jem climb on his lap in a way he could look straight at him. He collected his breath for a couple of seconds, hoping he would be able to tell Jem properly what was going on. "Son," he started, carefully brushing a strand of hair away from Jem's forehead. "You remember what happened to your grandmother a couple of months ago?" Jem nodded. "She died," he said. Atticus nodded and swallowed. "She was very old. And when you're old your heart stops on a certain moment." He took Jem's hand and placed it onto his chest. "That's your heart beating, Jem. Mine's doing the same, and so is everyone else's. When someone dies, it's because his or her heart stops beating, mostly that happens when you're very old, as I said." He took a deep breath. "But, in mama's heart, there was something wrong. It stopped beating, yesterday." Atticus looked at his son, tears burning behind his eyes. "Do you...do you mean mama's dead?" "Yes, son. She died, way too early. I know it's unbelievawait and it'll take time to realize what happened but..." He dried up. A tear rolled off Jem's cheek onto Atticus's pants. "We'll never see her again?" "No, son. It's too much to understand." Atticus took Jem in his arms and stood up. He pressed his eyes closed and began walking past the book shelves. Slowly, he did the same he had done so often before. "You know, Jem..." he whispered, "when you were still a baby, you'd cry and cry. We couldn't make you sleep, until I, one night walked you past the books and spoke to you about them. It made me think you were gonna be a very special and intelligent boy. And now you are so big. And I was right." His story had nothing to do with the situation, but Atticus felt he had to say it. However, he stopped and pressed his face into his son's hair. He breathed heavily, but succeeded in his attempts not to cry. He hadn't cried yet, and was determined not to let it happen lest he was alone. Jem kept sobbing at his chest. Atticus stroked the back of his head and was silent. "It's all gonna be fine," the phrase he had used so often yesterday...he wasn't sure at all whether he himself believed in that anymore. Slowly, Jem was calming down. When his sobs were lessening and lessening, Atticus kissed the top of his head again. "Are you ready to be put down?" he asked softly. Jem hugged his father once more and nodded. "Ain't you crying?" he asked. Atticus smiled sadly. "Not yet, son. I've unlearnt to cry a bit." He took Jem's hand and walked him to the kitchen. Calpurnia smiled at them sadly. Scout had been silent the whole morning, very unusual for her. Atticus didn't know what to do: should he tell her what was going on, but did she understand anyway? He decided to wait, and his thoughts were interrupted by Alexandra, who had been looking at him intensively. "Atticus, I'll run a bath for you. So you can unwind and rest a second," she said firmly. Calpurnia was already getting up, but Alexandra held out her hand and told her she'd go. "I'm alright," Atticus protested, but she was already gone. She returned some minutes later, telling him it was ready. "Cal and I can stay here while you're in the bathroom," she said. "Calpurnia, I'll be back soon." She nodded. "Yes Mrs. Fi...mrs. Alexandra." Atticus didn't hear her correction but walked after his sister.
They walked into the bathroom and Alexandra closed the door behind her. "Atticus...my sweet brother...what happened? God, I don't know what to say to you. It's too awful, honey." Atticus looked up. That would be the first time she called him honey, he thought. He swallowed. "I came back from work...I found her on the porch. She got a heart attack." He said it in short phrases, but suddenly looked up. "Alexandra...her chair was still rocking...it had just happened. What if...what if I had been there earlier..." He pressed one hand onto his face. Alexandra rushed to him. "Atticus, don't think like that. You wouldn't have been able to do something. God...I can't imagine how you must be feeling now. I'm so incredibly sorry, Atticus, so incredibly sorry." Atticus took his hand away. "I don't know what to do, Alexandra, I really don't. Calpurnia will stay, I reckon...I just told Jem what happened...he was devastated. Alexandra...they will have to grow up without a mother!" he suddenly said louder. She stroked his arm. "Atticus, it's gonna be alright. We'll all help you. Cal, indeed, everyone will help I'm sure. And don't forget you're great, Atticus. You are the best father I know." She decided to let it rest a second. "Your bath's getting cold, brother. You better get dressed down." Atticus looked at her surprised."I'll turn around, alright," she said. "We used to take a bath together, remember? Jack also, of course. You remember mama thought we were drowning him?" she stopped, afraid Atticus might not like hearing things like this, but when he turned around he showed a small smile. He was unbuttoning his shirt, but Alexandra saw his hands were shaking. She walked towards him and started doing it herself. "Thank you, Alexandra," Atticus whispered. "I'm glad you offered to come." "Of course!" she answered. "But, sweet, you gotta tell me when you want time alone with your children or so. I don't want to be in the way at anything, understood?" He nodded. "Thank you." His shirt was now unbottened and Alexandra carefully took it off and placed it over a laundry basket. She wanted to kneel down to loosen Atticus's shoelaces, but he stopped her and did it himself, although his hands were still shaky. When his pants had come off as well, he looked at Alexandra. She smiled and turned around until she heard him step into the bathtub. "Shall I leave?" she asked. "Or do you want me to stay?" Atticus shook his head. "No, please go ahead. Thank you." Alexandra walked away, but turned around at the door. "Call me when you're ready, alright?"
She returned to the kitchen and sat down with the children. She didn't know what to say, so sat in silence until she decided to go out on the porch. She greeted Miss Maudie and Stephanie, who were standing on the street. "Alexandra," Maudie said, "how's Atticus doing? We can't believe what happened." "What can I say?" Alexandra replied. "He lost his wife and is now left with two children. But he will come out fine, I surely believe that. I don't think, however, that he wants much interference in his business now. He'll say it when he needs help. I'm going back inside now." She returned inside the house. Jack would as well try to come as soon as possible. She thought about what else she could do.
In the mean time, Atticus had dried himself off. In the bath, he had decided that he would get through these days as fluently as possible, without crying or collapsing. He would start as soon he got back to the kitchen, he decided. He had put on a newly ironed suit and was now staring at his exhausted appearance in the mirror. However, he combed his hair, but his glasses on and took a deep breath. "It's gonna be fine," he said to himself. He breathed again , smiled and opened the door.
AN: I can't stop writing! I'm sorry if this got too long. Hopefully you don't find it boring, I'm trying to show the way Atticus is coping but doubt if I'm doing it very well.