James was at the head of the group as we strolled into the large, dimly lit room.
There was loud music blasting out of invisible speakers and an unbelievably large amount of people, half of which were seated at the bar that took up the majority of one wall. The other half, which was made up of mostly girls around our age, were already squeezed against the barrier blocking them from jumping on stage; they were all giggling excitedly, and many of them were covered in glitter and had on shirts decorated with the flashing names of the band members. I was feeling grateful for the fact that my friends hadn't gone to that length when James suddenly stopped walking, and I narrowly avoided toppling into Peter, who was directly in front of me.
I peered over his head to see a floating tray of drinks levitating in front of James. He reached out a hand slowly, wrapped his fingers around a mug of what looked like firewhiskey, then quickly drew back and winced, obviously waiting for something to happen. When nothing did, his expression changed into the kind of surprised euphoria one would usually find on a young child's face on Christmas morning.
"There's no age line or anything! This is the best day of my life!" he exclaimed, and took a long swig of the drink in his hand.
"It's the best day of your life because you can get pissed of your rocker?" Lily scoffed, and James grinned, a couple drops of firewhiskey on his chin.
"And because I get to spend a lovely night with my favorite people," he said sweetly, and Lily shook her head, "The only thing that could make it better, my dear Lily, is if you finally agreed to go out with me,"
"Keep dreaming," Lily laughed, and James only looked deflated for a moment, before taking another gulp of his drink and smiling at her mischievously.
"You'll say yes eventually," he said.
"Why haven't any of you grabbed a drink?" Sirius cut in, and we looked around at him. He had already downed an entire mug and was holding on to the tray to keep it from floating away so he could take another, "Come on, Peter, have a drink with your best mate," he urged after an impressively long swig, nudging the boy with his elbow and raising his mug - and a single eyebrow - enticingly.
Peter didn't think twice before rushing forward and taking a drink from the tray Sirius was still holding on to; I could see the eagerness to please in his eyes before he took a clumsy sip. The rest of us hesitated, but it didn't take long before Remus' sensibility broke and he too took a mug.
"Oi, girls, reckon you'll join in on the fun?" James said, and Sirius let out an uncharacteristic giggle as he tore the mug away from his lips. I didn't take the time to answer; I was too busy gaping at Sirius with a mixture of disgust and fascination.
Isabelle, Scarlett and Mary all shrugged and took a drink as well; I tore my eyes away from Sirius to look at Lily, whose jaw was clenched defiantly.
"I'd rather not, thank you," she said, "I happen to be a prefect," she put emphasis on the last word and stared with accusation at Remus, who lowered his mug and looked a bit abashed.
"Leave him alone. We're on break," James whined.
"He can do what he wants, but I'll pass," Lily said, and I felt relieved as James turned on me. I had never gotten drunk before; the only alcohol I had ever had was champagne with my parents on holidays. I told myself I didn't want my first time to be in a room full of strangers, but the real reason was Sirius; if I could barely keep myself under control around him while sober, I shuddered to think what I could possibly attempt when intoxicated.
"I'm with Lily," I said, and she beamed at me appreciatively.
"Good. Some of the men here look like complete creeps. I'd rather be able to have my guard up," she told me, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at a large toothless wizard, who was seated at the bar and watching Isabelle with open-mouthed interest. I turned to look at her and saw, amused, that she was dancing wildly, her hands up in the air and her hips moving with surprising skill. It wasn't possible that she was that drunk already, and I immediately realized what she was trying to do. All my amusement disappeared and was replaced with seething fury; she kept glancing up at Sirius to see if her plot was working, and, considering the fact that he was watching her with the same interest as the old wizard at the bar, it was.
"You ladies want to have a drink with us?" a voice behind me said, distracting me from the anger rising in my throat, and Lily and I looked to see a couple of wizards who looked to be in at least their forties; one was balding considerably and the other had a potbelly that was sticking out from his velvet jacket. Both were eerily close; I could feel their unpleasant breath on my face. Lily eyed them with complete disgust.
"Get lost," she seethed, and they staggered away, grumbling under their breath.
"Well, that was nauseating," I said, trying to keep my eyes off of Isabelle and Sirius but failing miserably. She was dancing closer and closer to him; my only comfort was the jealousy on both Scarlett and Mary's faces.
"I'm not sure if any of you remember, but we're here for a concert," Lily yelled over the music, and all our friends looked around at her, "Charlotte and I just got hit on by men our fathers' age, so if we could step farther away from the bar and closer to the stage, that would be great,"
The authority in her voice kept all of them from arguing, and they followed her into the crowd forming around the front of the room. We squeezed in-between a group of French witches who were telling a couple of fascinated men that they came to London just for the concert and a gaggle of girls with platform shoes and teased hair who were complaining about being so far from the stage.
"They're on in ten minutes," Scarlett squealed, and, judging by the slight droop in her eyelids, she wasn't quite used to having intoxicating liquids in her system.
In fact, it seemed that our entire group, minus Lily and me, were starting to feel the effects of the fair amount of drinks they'd already downed and were bouncing on their heels, not quite drunk but certainly past the point of sobriety. I noted with satisfaction that Isabelle looked slightly angry, as Lily's command had distracted Sirius from her dancing body, but the satisfaction drained as I looked around for Sirius and realized he was chatting up the group of girls to our right. All of them were looking up at him with dreamy expressions; I subconsciously touched the side of my lips and frowned, hoping my face never looked like that when he was talking to me.
"Are you having fun?" Remus asked suddenly, and I jumped, surprised.
"Oh, yeah, tons," I stuttered unconvincingly.
"You're lying," he said, and tilted his head slightly, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I lied again, and he smiled.
"Just not your kind of thing, is it?" he asked, and I shook my head, "It isn't mine, either," he whispered, and held up his mug, which I realized was still full to the brim.
"You're just pretending to drink it, aren't you?" I asked, and he put a finger to his lips, grinning, "Why?"
"It's just easier. This way they won't bug me about it," he shrugged. I stared at him for a couple of moments.
"Why are you friends with them if they pressure you into things?" I burst out, my anger with Sirius audible in my voice, and his face darkened.
"Why are you?" he retorted, then sighed, "They're great guys who just do certain things I don't necessarily agree with. But they are the best friends I could possibly have," he said firmly.
"I'm sorry. I know they are," I apologized. I was impressed with his quickness to defend his friends, and felt slightly ashamed of myself because of the truth of his words. Sirius was my friend, too; he wasn't doing anything wrong, yet I was angry with him anyway for my own selfish reasons. I should have been able to accept him doing what made him happy, but, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't feel anything but resentment as I watched him whisper something into one of the girl's ears.
The music blasting suddenly stopped and a scream filled the room; I turned towards the stage, eager for the distraction. The band was running onto it, and I stifled a giggle at their appearance; each of them had huge hair and was wearing a glittery jumpsuit. The glitter-covered girls in the front row suddenly made more sense.
I realized with surprise that even Lily was whooping, and her eyes were large with excitement as she watched the lead singer step up to the edge of the stage and spread his arms out to the crowd. She tore her gaze away to look at James, who had crept up to her and tapped her on the shoulder.
"Would you go out with me if I wore an outfit like that?" he asked, and I expected Lily to reprimand him, but instead, she just laughed, not unkindly, and turned her attention back to the stage. James looked pleased.
"We're Basilisk Fang, and we hope you enjoy the show," the drummer was saying, his American accent magnified to spread throughout the room, and they began to play.
I didn't know any one of the songs they performed, but I jumped along with the rest of the crowd. The air in the room was practically tingling and everyone was soon coated in sweat; it would have been impossible to stand still. I could barely hear the singer, as it seemed that every person in the room, besides me, was singing along loudly. Lily's voice was in my ear, and I noted with amusement that she knew every word of every song. I lost myself in the blaring music and was able to forget about everything momentarily, swaying happily and feeling grateful towards my friends for dragging me along.
That is, until a pair of hands grabbed me around the waist. I yelped, my scream lost among the hundreds of others reverberating around the room.
"It's just me, Charlotte," Sirius' wobbling voice whispered in my ear, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. All my judgment was clouded, however, as I felt intoxicated myself just from his touch. His thumbs rubbed my back, and, my breath slowing, I involuntarily fell backwards into him, dancing against his body without even thinking about what I was doing. His hands gripped me tighter, pulling me closer, and we stayed in the same position for two songs, my mind blank except for the bliss of being against Sirius again.
"I didn't know you could dance, Lottie," he slurred, and I felt his cool fingers against my warm skin as he swept my hair over my shoulder. I felt his long hair against my exposed neck and, before I knew what was happening, his lips were on my neck, leaving a soft kiss burning on my skin. I tore away, turning to look at him, which was difficult in the tightly packed group of people.
He blinked at me through narrow eyes, surprised, and staggered on his feet, stepping closer to me again. He reached out, attempting to grab me, but I shrugged out of his hands, my heart beating erratically.
"You have to stop," I forced myself to yell over the loud music.
"Why?" he asked, confused.
"You're drunk, Sirius," I said, and he smiled, his grin large and child-like.
"So?" he laughed, reaching out again, but I took another step back into a large wizard, who didn't seem to notice.
"So I don't want you touching me when you're drunk," I told him, my voice more hostile than I intended, and he scowled, dropping his hands. I was aching to go back to him and let him do whatever he wanted, but my mind was telling me not to; there was no pleasure in what he was doing if he had no idea what was even going on. His blank eyes told me that the firewhiskey had completely taken over his thoughts; I was surprised he had even been able to remember my name. I wasn't about to let myself be his drunken hook up, as much as it pained me to stop him.
"Fine," he hiccupped, and stumbled away into the crowd.
I looked around at my friends, but all of them were too preoccupied with the concert to have noticed anything. I sighed, relieved, then closed my eyes. I felt suddenly ridiculous, standing in the middle of a group of people I didn't know and dancing to songs I had never heard. I placed a hand on my forehead, which felt incredibly hot, and wished I could just go home.
Without bothering to tell anyone where I was going, I pushed my way out of the crowd. I eagerly gulped the fresh air that was suddenly available when I finally made my way out of the sea of people; the hole I had squeezed through closed up as soon as I was gone. My head was pounding and I could barely hear my thoughts over the music, so I looked around for a restroom, planning on spending the rest of the night in a stall by myself.
I finally found a sign pointing me towards my destination, and quickly made my way over to it, desperate to be alone. I was just about to push open the door to the powder room labeled "Ladies" when I noticed two familiar figures walk past me and into the end of the deserted corridor.
Sirius was pulling Isabelle along by her hand and she was giggling uncontrollably, the laughter punctured only by an occasional hiccup. He pushed her against the wall the same way he had done to me in the hallway at school, and I stood, frozen, unable to tear my eyes away. She was saying something I couldn't quite hear, and then he was pressing his lips to hers, the same lips that had been against my neck only a couple minutes ago.
My heart sank past my stomach and seemed to land on the floor at my feet. My throat suddenly burned and I felt my eyes fill with angry tears. I breathed loudly and frantically through my nose, but neither of them noticed; they were too busy snogging so ferociously it was if they'd molded into one. I stepped back, my thoughts whirling in my mind.
He had just been dancing on me and kissing me and calling me by a pet name only moments prior, and now he was attached to Isabelle so closely it was as if his life depended on it. I didn't understand what he was playing at, and I felt a sickening disappointment in my gut. A wave of nausea passed over me, and I walked backwards to the opposite end of the corridor, unsure what to do. Half of me wanted to go charging at them to tear them apart and maybe rip Isabelle's hair out of her skull, and the other half wanted to go running into the bathroom and cry my eyes out.
Something hit me on the back, and I whirled around. It was the levitating tray carrying full mugs of firewhiskey, and it kept backing up and hitting me over and over again, as if begging me to take a drink off of it and relieve it of its burden. I hesitated, and turned back to look at Sirius and Isabelle. His hands were dangerously low, and feeling a surge of cold fury, I angrily grabbed a mug and downed it in three large gulps. It burned down my throat and into my stomach, and I hastily grabbed another, drowning the contents instantaneously.
The tray refused to move, and soon a third mug was emptied. I dropped it to the floor carelessly; my thoughts were completely blurred, and I was swaying back and forth ominously, barely avoiding hitting my head against the wall.
I steadied myself and, wiping a hand against my mouth, stalked back into the crowd, determined not to let Sirius Black ruin my night.
I woke the next morning, and everything in my body ached horribly. I groaned and attempted to open my eyes; I blinked a few times, but the bright light streaming in was too much. I lurched, and someone held up a bucket, hitting it against my chin. I threw up in it, tears of pain prickling in the corners of my eyes. My head had never hurt so much in my entire life, and I weakly dropped it back onto the pillow beneath me.
"Where am I?" I groaned.
"Ah, she speaks," my sister's voice spoke up, and, with considerable effort, I opened my eyes a crack and stared up at her. Her amused face visualized, my room coming into view behind her. I realized I was in my own bed, but I could not for the life of me remember how I had gotten there.
"Think you can drink this now? I've been trying to force it into you for the past four hours but you kept falling back asleep," Julie said, holding up a goblet of something.
"What is it?" I croaked.
"Hangover Potion. It's saved my life plenty of times. Just drink it," she urged, and I eagerly opened my mouth. She tipped the contents of the goblet into it, and I swallowed. Within moments, my head was cleared and my body ceased to ache, though it still felt uncharacteristically heavy. I managed to sit up and open my eyes all the way.
"What in Merlin's name happened to me?" I asked, and Julie laughed.
"Two of your friends dragged you through the fireplace at two in the morning. They said you had a bit too much to drink, but I think they might have been underestimating your condition," she explained. I groaned, embarrassed.
"What friends?" I asked.
"Lupin and Black," she said, and I felt suddenly sick again at the idea of Sirius carrying me back to my house, "Though Lupin did most of the explaining. Black didn't seem like he was fit to say anything,"
"Oh. Great," I breathed, relieved that Sirius had still been out of it.
"You're lucky Mum and Dad were sleeping. They would have killed you on the spot," she grinned, "You owe me,"
"Thank Merlin," I mumbled. The image of my father seeing me drunk out of my wits was enough to scare me into never drinking ever again. Not that I wanted to, anyway; as far as I could remember, the experience wasn't enjoyable in the slightest, though my circumstances were a bit different than others'.
"I reckon you had fun?" Julie asked, "I never thought my little sister would be the type to go out and get herself pissed," I hesitated, briefly considering telling her the truth, but decided against it. I didn't want anyone knowing about my feelings for Sirius, or the way I had reacted when I found him snogging someone else, not even someone in my family.
"Yeah, it was great," I tried to say as brightly as I could.
"I'm glad," she beamed, then stood up, "Go back to sleep now, Mum and Dad will be suspicious if you're up at six in the morning,"
"Alright," I said, gratefully snuggling back into my sheets. I stared up at my sister, who was already halfway to the door, "Thanks, Julie," I said, and she turned, shooting me one last smile before disappearing into the hallway.
Two days later, I was back at school. My parents hadn't figured out anything, and even the soot on the rug by the fireplace miraculously went unnoticed. I spent a quiet couple last days of break, spending most of the time in bed, feeling sorry for myself and staring at the necklace Sirius had gotten me. I had taken it off in an angry huff, and it sat on my nightstand, seemingly teasing me.
I didn't know if Sirius liked me or not. I doubted anyone could have, not even a genius like Dumbledore. He had kissed my neck, but he was completely hammered when he did so, and moved on to snogging Isabelle only moments later, seemingly forgetting anything had even happened between us. I couldn't help but wonder if he would have snogged me instead if I hadn't stopped him, or if that was too strange a concept for even his drunken mind.
I spent those two days hating him, trying to convince myself I was done with feeling anything for him, but it was pointless. Images of all the sweet things he had ever said or done came flashing back, and I was reeled back in. My mind was switching back and forth so often I narrowly avoided throwing up again in the confusion.
I considered being done with men forever; they were too confusing. I could live alone like my Aunt Rhonda, who had a large flat she shared with her twenty-three cats and seemed perfectly happy despite the fact that she was forty-five and had never married.
I was surprised to see, on the first day of the second semester, that Isabelle and Sirius were acting exactly the same way they had been before the concert. We were seated at dinner, and they only spoke to each other in what was clearly a friendly way. I was watching, confused, when Remus spoke.
"How'd it go with your parents after the concert?" he asked, seemingly casual, but I could tell he was a bit disappointed that I had gone and gotten myself drunk after we had agreed it wasn't the type of thing either of us did.
"They never found out," I answered.
"How's that?" Sirius spoke up bitterly, "The Potters were lecturing James and me nonstop. I swear they were still yelling after we got on the train,"
"I have a cool sister," I shrugged, not feeling the least bit sorry for him.
"Lucky you," James huffed, "My parents threatened to take my broomstick away. I had to promise I would do chores every single day over summer break to get them to agree to let me keep it,"
"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much next time," Remus laughed.
"Shut up, Moony, you were doing it, too," James hissed, and Remus caught my eye. I grinned at him, and looked up to see Sirius looking between the two of us curiously. I immediately dropped my gaze; I had felt a crazy urge to slap him when our eyes met.
"I'm done," I said suddenly, pushing my plate away, "I'm going to bed," I stood up.
"Already?" Remus asked, and I nodded, feigning a yawn.
"Yeah, I'm super tired," I lied.
"Wait," Sirius said, shoveling the last bites of his food into his mouth, "I'll come with you," he said quickly, standing up and wiping his hands off on his robe.
My stomach twisted, but I didn't want anyone to suspect anything, so I didn't say no. I turned wordlessly and began to walk towards the door; Sirius caught up with me as he came around the other side of the table.
"I want to ask you something," he said, as we walked out in the hallway and up the stairs.
"Hm?" I said, trying to keep the panic off my face. I crossed my fingers in my pockets and prayed silently that he wasn't about to bring up what had happened between the two of us at the concert.
"Are you and…and Remus involved in some way?" he asked, and I stared, disbelieving. His expression was genuine and I laughed loudly, taking him by surprise.
"Absolutely not," I howled, and he blinked at me, his eyes wide, "What makes you think that?"
"Well, you talk to him a lot, and I just thought…" he trailed off as I continued to laugh, more amused by the situation than I should have been. Here I was, pining after Sirius, and he thought I liked Remus.
"I talk to you a lot, too," I giggled, and he flushed, embarrassed.
"Alright, sorry, forget I brought it up," he muttered, and I worked up the nerve to ask what I was dying to, though I was afraid of the answer.
"What about you and Isabelle?" I finally said, my voice strained, and his eyes widened again.
"Sorry?" he asked.
"Are you and Isabelle involved?" I repeated, the incredulous look on his face helping to strengthen my voice.
"No!" he said firmly, "Why Isabelle? That was over almost as quickly as it started,"
"It didn't seem like it when you were snogging her face off at the concert," I said, working hard to keep my voice from betraying the hurt I felt when I brought the incident up.
"Was I?" he asked, appearing hesitant for a fraction of a second, then laughed, "Wow, I don't remember a single thing that happened that night,"
I felt relieved; he didn't seem to have any feelings for Isabelle. But he had kissed her anyway. That told me that what he had done with me didn't mean anything to him either, and I felt crushing disappointment mingling with the happiness that was already there.
"Isabelle doesn't seem to remember it either, if that makes you feel better," I forced myself to say, and he smiled.
"I'm going to get myself in real trouble one of these days,"
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"Girls are mad when they have feelings," he grinned, "And I don't get those,"
"You never have feelings for anyone?" I repeated, surprised.
"Nah, I'm just in it for the physical stuff," he smirked, raising a single eyebrow. I stared silently for a moment, then laughed shortly.
"You're a pig," I exclaimed.
"Yeah, well," he shrugged, not looking at all ashamed, "But of course, there are exceptions to every rule," he said cryptically, looking at me. I blushed involuntarily.
"Have you…have you found your exception yet?" I fumbled over my words, struck dumb by his gaze.
"I'm not sure. I might have," he said just as enigmatically, no longer looking at me but at a particularly and maddeningly attractive fifth-year Hufflepuff, who was walking by and shooting glances at Sirius over his shoulder, "However, as I 'm sure you know, sometimes rules have to be followed. See you, Charlotte," he said, and strolled up to the girl, casually throwing an arm around her shoulder.
I watched, frozen but for a little flutter of hope in my chest.
A/N: I'm back from vacation, yay!
The amount of reviews for the last chapter was a record high, thank you all so much. It's still so surprising to me that people actually like mywriting.
Thanks again, and please review! :)