Despite her very best efforts to reroute her thinking, Relena's fantasy of a romantic reunion with Heero refused to fade in the days leading up to Christmas. With the holiday also serving as the anniversary of the end of the war - the birth of a savior coinciding with the salvation of the world - Relena couldn't help but get caught up in the hopeful spirit of the season.

The work week before the holiday flew by, with the terraformation committee holding one last meeting to approve plans for a new Mars satellite. Relena was not looking forward to telling Talon Van Holt that his proposal didn't make the cut, but she would worry about addressing that in the New Year.

Before she knew it, it was time to fly back home. She planned on spending Christmas in the Sanc Kingdom with her adoptive mother, then ringing in the New Year in Brussels. And this year, she was traveling with an entourage. Despite her efforts to give Duo and Trowa some vacation time, both insisted on accompanying her to Earth. Relena didn't want to hear anyone say it - it's what Heero would have wanted. So she just thanked them and offered to put them up at her house for the duration of their stay.

She had told her mother she would be bringing some guests, and secretly hoped that would keep Mareen from asking too many questions about her daughter's personal life. Over the years Mareen had made her disapproval over Relena's perpetually-single status loud and clear; dating Carter had provided a brief respite from her mother's near-constant inquiries, but then Mareen had been devastated when Relena told her she'd ended it. She hadn't seen her mother since then. Now Relena wasn't sure what to tell her.

Relena's gaze flicked over to Hilde across the aisle. They were aboard their shuttle to Earth. Both Duo and Dylan were sleeping soundly, and Trowa seemed preoccupied with his tablet. Relena was absentmindedly thumbing through her dog-eared copy of What to Expect While You're Expecting while Hilde was flipping through a book of her own. Glimpsing at the cover, Relena guessed it was some sort of horror novel or thriller. Hilde caught her eye and smiled.

"Learning a lot?"

Relena shrugged. "Trying to. I admit, it's still a little hard to believe this is real. Sometimes I think I must be dreaming." Hilde laughed.

"Oh, don't worry; it will feel real soon enough." She patted her own belly. "And in the meantime, you'll be prepared."

"Right." Relena sighed and snapped the book shut. Her friend picked up on her mood immediately.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just a lot to think about." Relena smiled weakly, holding up her hands. "There are so many decisions to make. Not to mention, so many things I have to buy…"

"Well, you could have a baby shower," Hilde pointed out. "Then you don't have to worry about buying so much. And people love buying baby stuff."

Relena shook her head. "I wouldn't feel right about asking anyone to buy anything. It's not like I can't afford it."

"That's not the point. It's so your friends and family can shower you with gifts. It doesn't matter if you're already independently wealthy; it's the thought that counts." Hilde wagged a finger for emphasis.

"Well, that would also mean I'd have to tell people, and I'm nowhere near ready to broadcast this."

"Sure, not now, but when the time comes… wouldn't a shower be fun?"

Relena sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It all just seems so far away. And I still haven't had a chance to tell Heero. If he's even…"

"What?" Hilde frowned, leaning over the armrest of her seat. "You don't think…" Relena gave a helpless shrug while her friend gasped. "Relena, you can't think that!"

They both looked up suddenly as Duo stirred in his sleep next to Hilde. He yawned, stretched both arms over his head, and curled back up into a ball, resting his head against the shuttle window. Both women let out sighs.

"I don't know," Relena spoke more softly. "I wish I knew… something. Anything." She swung sad eyes over to Hilde, who was biting her lip.

"This sucks," she said finally.

Relena nodded slowly. "I keep refusing to let myself go there, but it's hard…"

"Well," Hilde shifted in her seat. "I would think back to all those times Heero has fooled you before. This isn't the first time he's pulled this disappearing crap, right? It's annoying as hell, but I highly doubt anything really awful has happened to him. I mean, this is Heero frickin' Yuy we're talking about."

"Yeah." Relena laughed, wiping away a stray tear. She wondered what Trowa was thinking, sitting a few rows behind them, but he said nothing. Relena still wasn't convinced he had told her everything he knew, but she was done trying to press him; it would only add to her mounting frustration, and she really did want to try to relax and enjoy the holiday. As much as humanly possible.

"I'm sure you're right." Relena smiled gratefully at Hilde.

"So let's refocus on how you're going to tell Heero." The brunette smiled encouragingly. "I mean, after all this time, that's gotta be kinda fun, right?"

Relena rolled her eyes. "Oh, that should be fun, all right..."

Hilde rested her chin in her hand as she leaned over her armrest. "Have you ever broached the subject before? I know you said he'd clam up if you talked commitment and what not, but what about kids?"

Relena thought back. "Well, I believe several years ago, we had a hypothetical conversation about my getting pregnant…"

"Yeah?" Hilde leaned forward. "And how'd that go?"

Relena laughed weakly. "Well, you know Heero. He was about as warm and fuzzy as ever."

"I bet." Hilde pulled a face. "How'd it come up?"

Relena leaned back in her seat, hugging her knees to her chest. "It was during our trip out to Mars. Right after I found out about Noin…"

"You're pregnant?"

Noin nodded excitedly, her violet eyes sparkling. Relena sat trying to absorb the news. Which, of course, was wonderful news. Or would be, if they weren't less than a third of the way through their nine-month Mars voyage.

The sisters-in-law were seated in the dining area of the spaceship Scorpio after their fellow crew members had gone to bed for the night.

"When did you find out?"

"This morning," Noin whispered. "I told Zechs, right away, of course, but he's still… processing."

"Right." Relena nodded, giving her sister-in-law's hand a squeeze. "Well, I'm sure he's surprised. And probably worried. But I'm so happy for you." Her eyes misted over. Noin laughed and squeezed her hand back.

"Thank you, Relena. I am, too. And I really think everything will be ok."

Relena just nodded again, more firmly this time, wanting to believe her. "How far along do you think you are?"

Noin tapped her chin. "Hmm… maybe four or five weeks."

"Well, that's good. It's still pretty early." Relena gave her sister-in-law a reassuring smile. "So when we get back to earth…" She paused to calculate. "You'll be what, about seven months pregnant?"

"That's right," Noin grinned. "And hopefully huge by then!" She held her arms out in a big circle in front of her belly.

Somehow Relena doubted it. With her short, black hair and tall, slim figure, the then 29-year-old Noin still resembled a model. Of course, it was far too early in her pregnancy to be showing, but Relena suspected Noin would be one of those lucky women who either barely showed, or simply managed to look glamorous throughout their ordeal. Noin just had that way about her; she even managed to make a spacesuit look sexy. Meanwhile, at 26, Relena felt short and frumpy in hers. She wished she knew the secret to making those monstrous things look good, especially since it would become part of her daily uniform, once they reached the Mars surface.

Relena frowned. "And it's okay to travel that late in your pregnancy?"

"It's probably pushing it a little bit, but I'm pretty sure it's still okay at twenty some-odd weeks." Noin shrugged. "And anyway, if anything goes wrong, we do have a doctor onboard."

Dr. Chandra Arora was one of their crewmates for this mission, but he was an astrophysicist. Relena reluctantly pointed this out to Noin.

"I did some prying, and he also went to med school and did a residency as a general practitioner, so I'm pretty sure he could step in if I needed him to. But I'm not all that worried; I mean, this is the easy part of being pregnant." Noin laughed. "It's not like I'm going to go into labor in space!"

Relena was relieved her sister-in-law felt so confident, and tried to silence the worries prickling in the back of her mind.

"So, what about you?" Noin gave Relena's abdomen a playful poke. "Your little niece or nephew is gonna need some playmates."

Now it was Relena's turn to laugh. "You're kidding, right?"

"Oh, come on…" Her sister-in-law rolled her eyes. "It's not like the idea is so off-base. Especially with the way you and Heero have been carrying on lately…" She gave Relena a devilish grin.

"It's not like that," Relena sputtered as her face turned pink.

"Yeah, right," Noin countered. "I'm sure any day now, you two will have an announcement of your own. Besides," she grinned, "they say sperm is more potent in space..."

Relena's mouth dropped open. "No way. Don't say that." She wrinkled her nose, realizing they were also talking about her brother. "Ew…"

"Okay, fine, I don't know if that's actually true." Noin's eyes twinkled. "At any rate, if you're going to spend several months holed up on a spaceship, might as well be with someone you love, right?"

"Right..." Relena agreed, nodding. She certainly loved Heero; whether or not he reciprocated her feelings was still up for debate.

"So at the very least, this gives you and Heero plenty of time to bond, right?" Noin smiled conspiratorially.

"Oh, we're bonded, all right." Relena rolled her eyes. "We had plenty of time to 'bond' during training. But now that we're actually on this mission, Heero is all business."

"Really..." Noin scratched her chin in surprise. "I wonder why that is. You think it has anything to do with the fact that Zechs is here?"

"I'm sure that doesn't help." Relena sighed. "Of course, I can't help but overanalyze everything to death and assume it's something I said or did..." She leaned her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her hands. "But, then, I do this every time Heero and I start to get close, and he pulls away."

"That's frustrating." Noin smiled sadly. "Hard loving a soldier, huh? Especially the ones that insist on wearing masks." She patted Relena's shoulder. "Why don't you go pay him a visit? Try to thaw the ice a little."

"Oh, I don't know…" Relena's shoulders slumped.

"Go on! What's he gonna do, run away from you?" Noin spread her hands. "Where could he go?"

"Well, he's not exactly making much of an effort to see me." Relena absentmindedly twisted the ends of her hair. "He's been hiding in his room a lot. I only see him when everyone else is up and about, and usually…" She blushed.

"What?" Noin prodded.

"Well, in Houston…" Relena glanced around and lowered her voice. "He stayed in my room, pretty much every night. Then we got here, and... he's back in his shell." She lowered her eyes, too embarrassed to make eye contact with the other woman.

"Hmm. That is odd…" Relena looked up to see Noin was frowning. "Well, you have every right to know what's going on. If I were you, I would go see him and demand an explanation."

"Is that really what you would do?" Relena arched a brow. "If Milliardo were being distant or moody, you'd go and make him tell you why? Or would you just wait around for him to come out of it, and keep loving him no matter what?"

Noin laughed, covering her mouth to muffle the sound. "I used to be a lot more of a pushover, okay? But now that we're married, I don't let him get away with shit."

Relena gasped, stifling her own giggle.

"Seriously." Noin schooled her features. "Don't let him jerk you around. I don't care if he's got a screwed-up life story; we all do. And we all know him well enough to know that he's not clinically insane, so there is no excuse for bad behavior. And if you want, I will tell him that myself."

"No, that's all right." Relena smiled gratefully at her sister-in-law. "I'll go talk to him. Thank you."

"Good." Noin rose from the table, stretching her arms over her head. "I'm going to bed, but let me know how it goes."

Relena followed her sister-in-law the short distance from the kitchen to the hallway that contained the sleeping bunks. There were six individual bunks, one for each crew member, each with its own automated sliding door. Tinted glass provided some privacy, but some preferred to hang a sheet behind their doors as well. The living habitat inside their cylinder-shaped ship was, by all means, tiny, making it hard for the crew members to avoid one another.

Heero Yuy just happened to be especially good at avoiding people, when he wanted to.

Relena hesitated outside his door, but his light was on and she could vaguely make out his silhouette on his bed. That meant he could see her standing outside, too. Even still, she gave the door a quick, sharp knock, looking around to see if anyone else had stirred in their bunks. No one else had their lights on.

Heero opened his door without getting up from his bed. "Bed" was putting it kindly - it was more of a cot that was attached to the wall and could be stowed during the day to make the closet-sized sleeping chambers just a tad bit roomier.

Heero was lounging on the bed, wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans, while his feet were bare. He was also sporting reading glasses, something Relena had never seen him wear before, and holding his tablet over his face.

"Hm?" he murmured, glancing up briefly from his reading.

Relena entered the area tentatively. There was barely enough room for her to stand next to his bed, so she perched at the end of it. "Hi," she said softly. "Are you busy?"

Heero set the tablet down on his chest to look at her. "Just keeping myself entertained. Shouldn't you be going to bed?"

"I… couldn't sleep," she lied.

Heero frowned, leaning over to a built-in shelf next to his bed. "Want some melatonin?" He produced a bottle of the sleeping aid.

"No, thank you." Relena waved a hand. "I thought maybe… we could talk instead." She tried to keep her gaze steady so he could tell she meant business; she hated feeling shy and vulnerable around him, to this day.

Heero settled back against his pillows. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know…" Relena looked around the stark white space, which was in dire need of a pop of color, or some sign of personality. She had decorated her own bunk with favorite photos and posters with inspirational mantras. She even had a vision board. And, of course, the teddy bear Heero had given her when they were teens. She wondered if Heero had any mementos he wanted to hold onto. The only thing she noticed he always had was a watch she had given him one Christmas, years ago. Which, she was happy to note, he was also wearing now. Along with his other new accessory, which thankfully provided her with a conversation starter.

"I've never seen you wear glasses," she began, already feeling silly, but wondering how the Perfect Soldier could have anything less than perfect eyesight.

"Yeah…" Heero pushed them down the bridge of his nose. "These are to protect against the effects of zero gravity."

"Oh." Relena tipped her head, studying his face with the black frames. She decided he looked even sexier with them on, somehow. "So, they're not for reading, then?"

"No, they are. But when you spend prolonged periods of time in space, fluid forms in your brain, and that can put pressure on your eyeballs, leading to vision impairment over time." Heero pushed the glasses back up. "These are a precaution, so I don't strain my eyes while reading, which is obviously more of an issue when reading on screens."

Relena grimaced. "Well, it's a good thing I already have reading glasses, then. I don't remember hearing the thing about… the eyeballs during NASA training."

Heero shrugged. "It wasn't something they stressed all that much, just a vague possibility. But I'm not taking any chances."

"Well, what are you reading?" Relena quickly changed the subject, hoping to keep him talking.

Heero held up his tablet. "Crime and Punishment."

"Wow, I never took you for a Dostoyevsky fan." Relena smiled. "But, then, I can kind of see it. You and Raskolnikov seem to share the same tastes in decor." It was too easy, comparing him to a character that lived in extreme poverty.

Heero remained expressionless as he sidestepped her little gibe. "I take it you've read it, then."

"Oh, a long time ago… I haven't read anything for fun in a while, though."

His lips twitched. "You call this fun."

"Well, more fun than reports." She shrugged. "Those are all I ever seem to read any more."

"You like reading those, too." Heero shook his head, and Relena detected the hint of a smile. "You might want to reexamine your idea of 'fun.'"

"Ha!" Relena harrumphed. "You're one to talk; your idea of fun is hiding out and catching up on nineteenth century Russian literature." She raised her palms. "You could, you know, come out of your bunk and socialize every now and then. And talking to people won't melt your eyeballs."

Heero's eyes rolled behind his spectacles. "I'll take that under consideration. Anything else?"

"Yes." Relena sat up straighter. "I was wondering why you've been hibernating all this time. I feel like we haven't really… talked since before we launched. And somehow we seemed to see each other more in Houston…"

"We did see a lot more of each other in Houston." Heero smirked. Relena picked a pillow up from the end of the bed and threw it at him.

"And why is that?" She planted her hands at her hips as he caught the pillow. "What's with your recent disappearing act?"

Heero frowned as he added the extra pillow behind his head. "You call me reading in my room 'disappearing'?"

Relena sighed. "It… just feels like you've been avoiding me for some reason, and I want to make sure I didn't say or do anything…"

"Relena," Heero interrupted her curtly. "I'm not avoiding you." She could tell she'd ruffled him by getting into his space, but Relena wasn't about to relent that easily. She knew something else had to be up.

"But you have to admit," she continued, edging slightly forward, "we were a lot closer just a few months ago. It feels like night and day from where we are now."

"It is," Heero deadpanned. "We're in space."

Relena nearly smacked her palm into her head. "Heero, I swear to God, don't gaslight me right now…"

"Gaslight?" he frowned.

"Try to make me sound like the crazy one?" Relena gaped at him. "You don't go from sleeping with someone all the time to just… not sleeping with them any more. At least not without some kind of explanation. No?" She threw up her hands. "Or maybe I am just crazy?"

"You are crazy," Heero quipped. "But that wouldn't keep me from sleeping with you. If anything, that's more of a reason to sleep with you." Another smile crept over his lips.

Relena wished she had something else to throw at him. "Not cute," she snapped.

He arched a brow. "If you wanted to have sex with me so badly, you could have just asked."

Relena covered her face with her hand. "Heero, that is not what I am trying to say at all…"

"I think you're creating problems where none exist." Heero folded his arms across his chest and gave her a leveling stare. "Next time you're upset with me, ask yourself why I would willfully try to hurt you. Not to mention, why would I want to stop sleeping with you when it's something I enjoy doing?"

"Both are excellent questions," Relena said coolly, her eyes issuing a challenge. "I look forward to hearing you actually answer them."

Heero moved closer to Relena on the bed. "I didn't know you were waiting for me to do something." He frowned. "I just assumed you would prefer to be more discreet onboard the ship. Besides, it's not like there's much room to… do anything." He took his gaze from her and motioned around their cupboard-like surroundings. "Never mind that your brother is around, constantly. And I'm the one who has to answer to him if anything happens to you."

Relena's cheeks flushed. "You mean... if I were to get pregnant?"

"Yes." His frown deepened.

"And what would you do if that happened?" She lowered her eyes to where her hands rested on her lap, anxious to hear his answer.

Heero's brows knit together. "I don't know. It would depend on the situation. If it happened now, I would probably encourage you to terminate it."

"But why?" Relena gasped.

Heero shrugged one shoulder. "Because it's unlikely the fetus would survive such harsh conditions."

Relena balled a fist and held it to her chest. "You're referring to our hypothetical unborn child as a 'fetus'?"

"That's what it is, isn't it?" Heero's eyes widened. He slowly took off his glasses and set them aside. "Relena, are you trying to tell me something?"

"What?" She nearly snorted with laughter. "No… I mean, how could I possibly be pregnant? It's been well over a month since we…"

"Has it been that long?" Heero frowned.

"Yes, we've been traveling for a month and a half now, remember?" Relena poked his arm. "We haven't done anything since we've been onboard…"

"Hm." His brows furrowed. "That is a problem..."

"Are you kidding me?" Relena gave an exasperated sigh. "Now it's a problem? You hadn't even noticed."

Heero was still frowning. "How do we know you're not pregnant?"

Relena rolled her eyes. "Really, Heero? If you must know, I just had my period. All right? Happy?"

"Yes." He nodded. Relena thought he looked relieved, although for the most part, his features remained stony. She wondered how his expression might change if she told him she were pregnant. Maybe someday, she would find out. For now, she was annoyed that he wasn't picking up on her feelings. She decided she had had enough of emotionless Heero Yuy for one day.

"Well," she said, rising to her feet. "I'm glad we had this talk. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

As she made for the door, she felt him lay a firm hand on her forearm.

"Where do you think you're going?" his voice rumbled.

"I already told you," she answered, refusing to turn and look at him. She stayed still as he stood, his arms encircling her. Relena sighed as Heero brushed a kiss to her jawline. "If you think you can charm me now, you are mistaken…"

"Just stay," he murmured.

Relena shook her head. "Uh-uh. No way. You can't just turn it off and on whenever you want, Heero Yuy." She crossed her arms and maintained her stance.

"Fine." Heero released her waist and plopped back down on his bed. "I'm not going to try to convince you to do something you don't want to do. But you could stay and talk. If you want."

Relena turned and looked down at him. "Is 'talk' code for sex now?"

Heero's dark eyes glinted up at her. He tipped his head to motion to the place next to him. Relena gaped at him for a moment before rolling her eyes in acquiescence and dropping down beside him. Heero moved to lie down close to the wall, leaving a few inches for Relena to stretch out beside him. The mattress was so thin in width, there was little room for them to do anything besides spooning. Relena turned inward so that her head was against Heero's chest. He slung an arm around her shoulder.

"This is talking, huh?" She peered up at him, and he chuckled. "Well. What do you want to talk about?"

Heero used his free hand to tip up Relena's chin, smiling at her fondly. She gazed back up at him, taken aback by his sudden show of tenderness. No matter how many times she caught that look of his, it always threw her.

"Tell me more of your affinity for nineteenth century Russian novelists." His lips parted in a half-smile.

It was always a struggle, trying not to get lost in those deep blue eyes of his. How are they so blue?

"Oh, but we could talk about that all night," Relena giggled. Heero moved his hand from her face to the back of her neck, giving her a light massage.

"I'm not going anywhere." His eyes sparked. Relena's breath caught in her throat as he slowly brushed his lips against hers.

"This isn't talking," Relena whispered. Heero chuckled and broke away.

"Fine." He reached around her for his tablet. "Then read to me. Part four, chapter one." He leaned back against his pillows, folding his arms behind his head and closing his eyes.

"Hmm…" Relena began scrolling through the chapters on Heero's tablet. "The part where Raskolnikov thinks he's dreaming because someone is in his room?"

"No spoilers." Heero peered at her through one eye. Relena laughed.

"Sorry. Just checking." She reached the part where Heero had left off and started to read out loud when the door to the bunk slid open. Relena's head snapped up as her brother entered the small space. "Milliardo…"

In his self-styled uniform, he still looked every bit the lieutenant, but now he was using his military prowess to command their ship. He glared down at the pair in obvious disapproval.

"Relena…" he started, crossing his arms in front of him.

Heero glared up at his former rival. "What do you want, Zechs?"

Zechs matched his steely gaze with one of his own. "I want you to stay away from my sister, but I suppose it's a little late for that." Relena felt Heero huff beside her.

"Milliardo," she started, "we were just…"

"I don't care what you were 'just.'" His scowl reflected his disgust. "Look, as captain, it's not my job to know who's sleeping with who, but it is my job to keep my crew safe. Yuy, look alive." Zechs quickly tossed something that sailed passed Relena's head. Heero caught it with one hand. He opened his palm and revealed a small, foil-wrapped object. Relena's cheeks burned and she gaped up at her brother.

"Milliardo!" she shrieked.

Zechs just lifted a hand and shook his head, sending his long flaxen hair swinging. "I'm not here to comment any further. Just… don't do anything stupid, all right?" With that he swept out of the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

"Oh my God…" Relena moaned, burying her face in her hands. "How mortifying."

Heero shrugged and set the condom on the shelf beside the bed. "Wonder what his deal is…"

Relena knew it must have to do with Noin's unexpected news, but she wasn't about to tell Heero that. Instead she sighed dramatically before turning her attention back to the tablet in front of her. "Anyway. Where were we?"

"Then what happened?" Hilde looked at Relena expectantly as she wrapped up her story.

"That's it." Relena shifted in her seat. "There's nothing more to tell, really. It was just a bizarre little conversation…"

"I mean after that." The brunette rolled her eyes impatiently. "You guys just sat around reading all night? Please."

Relena flushed. "Well, I'm not going to rehash every detail…"

"Ha! I knew it." Hilde grinned triumphantly, her blue eyes twinkling. "You guys totally banged after that, didn't you?"

"I hardly see how that's a relevant part of the story." Relena pressed her hands to her belly. "Especially given what we know now. Besides, I don't remember every little thing about that particular night. Honest."

"Sure, you don't," Hilde taunted her in a sing-song voice. "You seem to remember everything else that happened on that ship, though, don't you? So, how often would you say you guys banged on that mission?"

"Hilde…" Relena warned. Thankfully, Duo and Dylan were still sleeping, but Relena didn't want Trowa to overhear everything. She had glanced back at him a few times while she and Hilde were chatting and noticed he had put on headphones, so she'd assumed it was safe to talk. Unless of course they were all for show. She looked at him for a beat too long, and practically jumped in her seat when he lifted his head, meeting her eyes. Embarrassed, she gave him a little wave before turning back around.

Hilde glanced back at Trowa, looking puzzled. "What was that all about?"

Relena shot Hilde a look. "Time for a new topic…"