Chapter 14:
"Bubbe? Bubbe its time to wake up or you'll be late for your last day of school before winter break." Kyle's mom Shelia said as he walked into her son's room.
Kyle rolled over to hide his form under his dark purple blanket. "Do I have to, its just like you said its the last day of school."
"Don't you want to see your friends before we leave to go to your Aunt's tomorrow?" Shelia asked. Kyle gave a groan, he totally forgot about that and he did want to see Stan and Kenny one more time so he could apologies for how he was yesterday. Kyle poked his head out from under the blanket. "Good. See you down stairs in a few minutes."
After his mom left Kyle tossed off his covers from his body then stood up. A yawn left his lips as he made his way over to the dresser. He opened up a drawer that contained his pants. He pulled out a pair of fitted dark green jeans. He slipped them on, he put on a brown belt to help keep his pants in place. The Ginger went to the next drawer to pull out a white 'Five Finger Death Punch' tee-shirt, putting it on and lastly he put on a pair of white socks. Kyle made his way down stairs. Mr and Mrs Broflovski were sitting at the table eating some breakfast that consisted of toast, eggs and some fruit. Kyle walked over to the medicine cabinet taking out his A1C test to test his blood sugar levels. It was with in the normal range.
Kyle is suppose to check his blood at least three times a day but he only does it twice a day. It has been at the proper levels for months now so he figured it to be fine just to do it in the morning and at night. He does bring an insulin shot with him just in case it gets low and if it gets to low he can go to the nurse's office to check his blood and rest for a while if it got to bad. Kyle also kept some snacks with him to keep it at the proper levels as well.
The Ginger haired boy grabbed a piece of toast off the table and put some apple jelly on it. He started to leave the kitchen then his mother called out to him.
"Aren't you going to have anything else? You really need to eat." His mom was worried that his blood sugar levels would get too low that he will have to be hospitalized.
"No. I'm not that hungry at the moment." Kyle took a bite of his toast.
"You should really eat some more Kyle." Kyle's dad Gerald said as he turned around to look at his son. "You are almost as skinny as your friend Kenny."
"I have my snacks with me if I get hungry or feeling a little sick. They are gluten free protein bars and its low in sugar. I also have some candies that are full of sugar." Kyle said so his mom wouldn't argue with him about eating.
"Alright as long as your are taking care of yourself and are prepared thats all we can ask for." Gerald said. He gave his wife a look that said to drop it for now.
Kyle left the kitchen making his way up stairs so he could brush his teeth and hair. The ginger popped the last piece of his toast in his mouth when he reached the top step. Ike walked out of the bathroom his face lit up when he saw his older brother. They walked towards each other and stopped in the middle of the hall.
"Are you still up to play some one on one basketball today after school?" Ike asked.
A small smile graced Kyle's face. "sure if its not snowing too hard. The Weather man said it would."
"Damn, I forgot about that." He snapped his fingers. "We'll just come home after school just in case. Plus I don't want to carry the ball with me around school."
"Heehee okay."
Ike went to his room as Kyle went into the bathroom. He took a comb to his bed head. It took him ten minutes to get all the knots out and to straighten it some. He grabbed his tooth brush, putting some tooth paste on it. He brushed his teeth for five minutes to make sure he got ever crumb out from between his teeth. After he spit out the foam Kyle rinsed his mouth out with some minty mouthwash. Kyle left the bathroom and went back down stairs to put on his brown mid-calf boots and his trademark orange and green winter jacket. He lastly put on his hat then left the house.
When he arrived at the bus stop he saw Cartman leaning against the bus stop. Stan and Kenny were standing a few good feet away from each other and not speaking a word to each other. Kyle cocked his head to the side at this. Normally Kenny would be hanging off of himself or Stan. Why was today different? Was it because of what happened yesterday? If so he didn't mean for anything to happen. Kyle walked a little closer to Cartman to find out what was going on.
"Hey Cartman." The said boy gave him an irritated sideways glance. "Whats up with Stan and Kenny?"
Cartman looked towards the other boys. They weren't paying him any attention so he looked back at the Ginger with a scowl on his face. "You."
Kyle was taken back by this answer. "Me? Why me, what did I do?" He doesn't know why he asked that. He knew it was his fault.
The bigger teen turned his whole body towards the smaller one. "You managed to get what you want and now you're putting them against each other."
"Huh? How am I doing that? I haven't said or done anything to them." Kyle asked taking a step back when Cartman moved forward. Kyle racked his brain of what he did yesterday. The only thing he could think of was him having a major panic attack and running off.
"You got them to feel so sorry for you that they ended up getting with you. When everything seemed to be going good you had to play the scared card causing them to fight with one another about what to do with you. Should they play along with your little game or just leave you hanging high and dry." A smirk appeared on Cartman's face when he saw how hurt Kyle looked. He didn't even have to tell a full lie about what was going on, he had over heard them talking about how they were feeling yesterday. Cartman got right in Kyle's face. Panic now set in the Ginger's green eyes, that gave the sadistic bastard a thrill. "You should ju-"
He was cut off when Kenny grabbed his right arm twisting it behind his back and lifted up hard. The bigger teen let out a cry of pain. Kenny kicked at Cartman's knee making him fall to the floor. A louder cry left the Fat-boy's mouth from the odd angel of his arm. The Blonde placed his foot on Cartman's back so he could give the other's arm one more good pull to the arm then let go.
"Stop feeding Kyle bullshit." Kenny looked over at Kyle. It was sad to see Kyle look so sad and fearful. Kenny could tell the poor kid must be blaming himself before Cartman even said anything. "Stan and I weren't fighting about you or even what to do. We were talking about how we were feeling yesterday over what happened and just got a little upset with each other. Its nothing to worry about, I promise." Kenny gave the Ginger a reassuring smile.
"O-Okay." Kyle responded but he still felt bad because it was his fault. He didn't like that they were upset with each other. It wasn't right nor was it fair to them but he just couldn't bring himself to tell them anything.
The bus pulled up shortly after. Cartman was the first one on so he could get away from Kenny and tend to his sore arm. Kyle got on next, it was very crowded and he didn't like that one bit. He luckily he found an empty seat. He sat down and got as close as he could to the window. Since there weren't any other seats Stan and Kenny sat down with Kyle but did what they did last time when the bus was full. Stan sat down with one leg out in the aisle so Kenny could sit on the Brunette's lap. Stan put his arms around the Blonde's waist to hold him in place. They did this so neither of them would touch Kyle and cause him to have another panic attack.
It was another boring day at school at least it was the last day. The Principle decided that since it was the last day before everyone should just stay in their first period class. The only upside was that they were showing different Holiday movies. Surprisingly the first one they played was 'Eight Crazy Nights'. Cartman had a problem with this because it showed Hanukkah themed stuff. Mr/ Garrison explained that it also had Christmas in it too but the boy still had an issue with it. It turned into this big debate about how they shouldn't play Jewish type of movies since they were mainly a Christian town. The whole class minus the trio of partners said it shouldn't matter because its a learning experience to see what other beliefs are like. It went on until the movie ended. Medea's Christmas came on next and Cartman had something to say about that too. This time he was sent to the Principle's office.
As the movie went on people really enjoyed it, absorbing the messages that were in it and how funny it was. Token was happy that he finally wasn't alone in how great it was. The movie had messages in it where people today still had troubles with because it was different from the normal. Whether it be inter racial couples, same sex couples, two different religious couple, open relationships and more. The fact is the people like the ones listed should remain who they are and shouldn't allow others to sway you.
At one point during the day Kyle asked if he could go to the bathroom but that was over twenty minutes ago. Kyle always made it back with in five minutes. Mr. Garrison figured he retreated to his safe place or had to go to the nurse's office to get his blood sugar tested but just to be on the safe side he sent Stan to go look for him. He knew that might not be a good idea but he had hope nothing would happen. The first place Stan looked was at the bathroom Kyle always used but it was empty. He went to the nurse's office again it was empty. He walked all around the halls of the school until he found the boy by his locker.
The Brunette walked up to Kyle placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, he instantly regretted doing that. Kyle dropped his protein bar and his book 'The Great Gatsby'. He too fell back from fright. The touch wasn't the main reason he was scared, it was because he didn't hear anyone walking nor did he feel anyone close to him. This was the out come of sneaking up on someone and it wasn't always the best. Stan let out a string of curse, throwing up his hands in the process. He sure can be stupid at times.
"Sorry dude." Stan leaned down to offer Kyle a hand. He figured if it there Kyle could either accept it or reject it. There wasn't a need to be afraid. "You want me to help you up?"
Kyle went to grab it but the little voice in the back of his head told him it was a trick and that he will hurt him. He pulled back his hand a little. The boy was arguing with his own mind about how Stan wouldn't ever hurt or trick him. His mind wasn't listening and kept telling him that he thought that before and look where it got him. Kyle wasn't paying attention to his partner but was brought back to reality when Stan lightly brushed his fingers on Kyle's hand. The Ginger jumped back letting out a small cry of fear. Kyle didn't mean to do that, it just came out.
Stan let out a frustrated growl as he bared his teeth. He didn't mean to touch Kyle, he was just trying to get the boy's attention so they could go back to class. "Ah! God damnit!"
"S-Sorry Stan." Kyle went to go sit on his knees. "I didn't notice you where there." He was refering to jumping when Stan touched his shoulder.
Stan looked at Kyle with a very pissed off look. "Bullshit! I know you are fucking lying. Why are you trying to hide it?"
Kyle looked down for a second before he looked back at Stan. "I'm not lying. I honestly didn't know you were behind me." Stan gave Kyle a pointed look telling him he doesn't believe a word of it. This upset Kyle that he wasn't believing him. "Stan thats the truth...okay the touch did frighten me too."
"Thought so." The Brunette crossed his arms. His limit now broke. "You know I'm really fucking tired of this shit."
Kyle tilted his head to the side. He was a little confused as to what Stan was getting at. Was it what what he was going through or something else. It could be because of him. If it was he had to be sure even if it hurts. "What shit?"
"This whole freaking out whenever someone touches you. I can understand if it some stranger but with your own partner...thats pretty fucked up. You know I'm not going to anything to do and same with Kenny. So why do you? Do you not trust us or something?"
Kyle shook his head. So it was about him. "No, I do and I know you guys wont but..." He trailed off not sure if he should continue. The voices were telling him not to.
"But what?" Stan asked, he was loosing his patience. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. No more beating around the bush.
"But...theres a part of me thats saying don't trust them, they will hurt you." Tears formed in Kyle's eyes.
"And you believe it?" Kyle gave a hesitant nod. "Why? You've know us your whole life. The most hurtful thing that has ever happened is when we had to do that stupid egg thing and I called your hat stupid, then when I got drunk calling you a piece of shit." Stan uncrossed his arms.
"I know all of this. Logically I do but there is still a part of me that has that fear." Kyle closed his eyes as tears fell down his cheeks. Couldn't believe he was talking about this. He didn't want it to come out this way. "I've tired to ignore it but its still there. It never goes away. After having sex with both you and Kenny I...'d go home to scrub myself until I felt like I was clean and couldn't feel any kind of touch. I'd get so mad at myself for doing it that I end up crying."
"Thats Bullshit." Stan said referring to him cleaning himself til he was "clean". "What the hell happened to you that make you want to do that?"
Kyle went to open his mouth to speak but no words came out. He really wanted to tell him but his damn mind wouldn't allow him too. He closed his mouth and his eyes trying to clear his mind so he could speak. When that wasn't working he pulled at his red locks as he shook his head to ride of the voice that keeps holding him back. A growl left his throat when that took didn't work. He hated all this and wanted it to go away.
"Fuck this shit." Stan yelled hitting the next to him. Kyle stopped shaking his head and opened his eyes to look up at the angry Brunette. "I'm done with this, I can't take it anymore. This back and forth shit its unbearable and you not saying anything is making it worse. We are here to help you thats all we want to do but you just throw it back in our faces. Thats fucking shitty. If you want to keep everything bottled up to the point you loose everyone then be my guest. Don't come crawling to me when it does. Me having to do this again is making me go fucking crazy. I hope you hav-"
Kyle got up and slapped Stan across the cheek hard. The Ginger couldn't believe what he was hearing let alone understand fully what he was getting at. He did understand that Stan was very upset and that was his fault for not speaking. They have had some rough patches in their lives but they never go to the point where one said they were giving up on the other. Thats what Kyle didn't understand, why now? Tears were flowing harder down his face. He took one last look at the fuming Brunette then took off down the hall and left the school to go home. Kyle needed to leave so he could find some way to calm himself down so he could properly go over what had just happened.
Stan rubbed his sore reddening cheek. Kyle had once again hit him at least this time it wont bruise. The Brunette jumped when he heard the sounds of 'boos' coming from behind him. He looked around to see a small group of people from his class. How long have they been there and how did he miss them coming? He spotted Kenny making his way to the front of the group, he had a look of pure disappointment mixed with sadness. Stan looked to the side to avoid eye contact.
"Why?" Kenny asked. He saw most of what was going on but stayed back in hopes that they could talk it out. He made another mistake. Even if he did go up to them then it would of happened some other time and he didn't want that. It could be so much worse than it was now. The Blonde didn't think Stan could be so hurtful that it made Kenny loose some respect for th Brunette. This whole ordeal is very upsetting.
"Why what?!" Stan was still pretty angry and he was taking it out on Kenny. His anger had to go somewhere, unfortunately it was Kenny. "Why shouldn't I express how I feel? I'm sick and tired of this. I can't keep walking on egg shells anymore."
Kenny narrowed his eyes. "You can express how you've been feeling but you didn't have to be fucking hurtful about it. You hurt him way more than whatever is going on with him. He may not even realize that yet. Giving up on someone is betraying their trust they had in that person, once thats gone its hard as hell to get it back or trust others. He didn't need your shit on top of his own. You need to go after him and talk. Try to make things better."
A collective 'Yeah' rang out. Stan looked around once again seeing all the disapproving faces. Kenny was right. He shouldn't of said what he did but he just lost control and blew up on Kyle. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose to try and get his senses back. He went to pick up Kyle's things from the floor, he then turned to the boys lockers to grabbed Kyle's hat. He made his way down the same path Kyle took. Guilt started to bubble up in his chest.
Stan walked into the already open Brofloski's home. Kyle must of left it open when he came home. He quietly closed the door behind him. The Brunette let out a sigh, he was beating himself up over what he had said. Now that he has had more time to think on what he said, he was being very hurtful and he said he would never hurt him. He just wanted to get out his pent up frustrations and it resulted in the shit storm he was in now. He really hoped he could fix things. The shattering of glass caught his attention. Stan quickly walked into the kitchen. He saw talk on the floor desperately trying to pick up the broken shard with his bare hands. The pieces were cutting into his hands and it was like Kyle didn't even notice.
Stan made his way over to the boy, knelling down in front of him. He could make out the Ginger's facial features now. Kyle still had tears falling down from his puffy red eyes. His eyes themselves looked like he wasn't even there at all and he was grinding his teeth together. He looked so bad and Stan was the cause of it all. The Brunette grabbed Kyle's wrist, surprisingly he didn't react, to make him stop. He helped the boy get to his feet and lead him up stairs to the bathroom. Kyle was like some zombie not taking in his surroundings, this made Stan feel even more guilty than before. Once in the bathroom Stan turned on the sink, adjusting the water so it was warm. He put Kyle's hands under the water to rinse the blood off.
The Brunette gently ran his fingers over the Ginger's hands to see if there was any glass in them. He felt a few pieces, he searched the medicine cabinet for some tweezers. They were sitting behind a tube of tooth paste. Stan picked them up and started taking out the shards one by one. Throughout the whole process Kyle didn't even react and this worried Stan to no end. Kyle must of realized what Stan's words meant and now is in a state of shock. Kenny was right he didn't fully understand. This bother him and manged to piss him off even more than he was before but now at himself. He should of never said what he did. Once all the pieces were out he took Kyle's hands out from under the water so he could put on some anti-biotic ointment then wrapped his hands in some bandages.
After Stan was done fixing up the Ginger's hands Kyle came back to reality. He focused on his hands in confusion. He doesn't remember doing anything to hurt his hands let alone wrapping them up. He flexed his hands some and it hurt. The bandages were turning pink from blood. Kyle looked around the bathroom, he doesn't remember coming in here either then his eyes landed on Stan who was just a few feet away. Fear flashed in his eyes before he took off down the hall and into his bedroom. Stan went after him, he needed to clear things up. Just as Stan reached Kyle's room the door was slammed in his face then locked.
"Kyle, please open the door. I want to talk to you." Stan pleaded.
There was no answer and there most likely wouldn't be one. Stan let out a sigh. He didn't want to constantly bang on the door when it was clear Kyle didn't want to talk and it might scare him even more. The sound of the front door opening caught his attention. Who could that be, Kyle's parents usually don't get home til six. Stan made his way down the stairs prying that it wasn't Kyle's parents. Once at the bottom he found Ike standing at the door. The Brunette gave him a nod and made his way into the kitchen so he could clean up the glass. Ike followed him taking a seat at the table. Stan grabbed a broom and dust pan that was kept near the back door. He swept up all the glass then dumped it in the trash. Stan put back the things then gave his full attention to Ike as he leaned on the counter.
"I heard what happened." Ike started. He sounded like a boss about to fire an employee. "Kenny sent me a text. He said I should get home to make sure you don't fuck things up any further. Why was there broken glass on the floor?" It now sounded like he was accusing him of something. That was to be expected though.
A sigh left Stan's lips. He was a little peeved that Kenny would have someone check up on him like he was a incapable of fixing things. He wasn't a two year old. "I don't know. I came in here and heard it break. I came into the kitchen to find Kyle, who was totally out of it, trying to clean it up with his bare hands. Instead of cleaning it all he manged to was cut his hands up. I took him upstairs to clean them. Once he came two he saw me and locked himself up in his room and wont let me in."
"He is probably pissed off at you. I know I would be too if someone I loved told me they were giving up on me."
"I know that!" Stan slapped his thighs out of frustration. Everyone was out to make him feel ten times worse than he already feels. "Thats why I'm here to apologies for what I said but how can I when he wont even talk to me?"
"You really shouldn't apologies for something you don't mean."
"I do! I really do. I was just so pissed off at the fact he wouldn't tell me anything and freaking out when someone touched him. I know I shouldn't of taken it out on him but I just couldn't stop myself." There was honestly and sadness in his voice as he spoke. He really wanted to make things better and he had no excuse for saying what he did. If he wanted to vent then he should of done with Kenny, his sister or his mom.
"Alright." Ike said as he stood up. "I'll try and talk to him but just for now please leave. Not to be rude but it will make things easier when I go to talk to him. I'll text when he is willing to talk to you."
Stan couldn't ask for anything more than that. He walked out of the kitchen then left the house.
"Kyle its me, Ike, please open up." Ike said after he knocked on the door.
After a minute Kyle opened his door a little. Ike waited til Kyle moved away from the door, he always did this to give his brother some time to gather himself. Ike walked in to find his brother sitting on the floor next to his bed. Kyle was no longer crying bit the redness and tear stains remained but he looked wore down and tired.
"I just talked to Stan." Kyle flinched at the name. "He came here to apologies to you for what said to you. He seemed pretty legit about it too." Ike took a seat on the bed.
"I think you're wrong." Kyle brought his knees up to his chest. Stan didn't and to apologies he just wanted to hurt him more. "He meant what he said, you just can't take that back."
"I'm not wrong Kyle. He sounded really upset." Kyle just shook his head. "look I know he hurt you badly but you are hurting him too. You're keeping stuff to yourself isn't good. If you keep going down the path that you are on you will truly loose the ones you love. If Stan didn't care he wouldn't of came her to talk to you or fix up your hands. He is just tired of not knowing whats going on with you." Ike took a seat next to his brother, Kyle had hide his face in his knees. "I don't want you to loose anyone over this. Go tell him, if those stupid voices get in your way tell them to fuck off."
Ike was right. If he didn't tell what was going on he would love the people he loves. Stan was a good example of that. Just because he came over to apologies doesn't mean he would leave eventually if the truth wasn't brought out. Its sad when your eleven year old brother is being smarter than you. Kyle lifted up his head giving his brother a hug then got up. He left the room, he hoped things will work out for the better and things will be fixed.
Stan was sitting on top of the biggest rock at Stark's pond. He came here to think and take a breather away from his mom. He didn't want to deal with her right now. He hoped that Ike could get Kyle to listen to him. The Brunette looked out to the frozen body of water. Kyle and him had a lot of memories here when they were younger. Every time they had a small falling out or had a rough week they would come here. What he wouldn't give to have those times back. Things were so much easier than they were now. There wasn't a whole bunch of drama when you are kids but once you grew up and the hormones get in the way its like drama follows and it wont leave you alone til you die. Crunching snow caught his attention. He stood up then turned around to see who was coming towards him. Stan was surprised to see Kyle there and with a weak smile on his lips. He didn't make eye contact. The Brunette jumped off the rock. Kyle stopped walking when he was a few feet away from Stan.
"Kyle?" Stan's voice sounded desperate. He wanted to move closer to the Ginger but he knew that wouldn't be a wise move to make. "Look dude, I'm so sorry for what I said. I was just to God damn frustrated. I should've never blew up in you. I should of talked to you before it all so built up."
A small smiled appeared in Kyle's face. "Thanks but you had every right to say what you did. I deserved it for hiding whats wrong with me. I would of done the same thing ig I were in your shoes." His smile faded and tears started to form in the corner of his eyes. The voice was telling him to shut up and leave. He will only be hurt by the end of it but he pushed it to the side. He wouldn't listen to it this time. "I came here to tell you something important. S-Something you should know and should h-have known." Kyle looked into Stan's eyes. "I-I need to t-to tell you wh-what happened to me."