Semper Fi Santa

Chapter Fourteen

Disclaimer- You know the deal, I don't own it, I'm just playing with Stephanie Meyer's toys. A Midsummer Night's Dream belongs to Shakespeare, also, not mine.

Ed had been as nervous about the weekend as he'd been about the proposal.

His respect for Bella commanded that he allow her to work through the emotions that involved letting go of a love she'd spent four years trying to preserve at all cost. He knew she would come to him when she'd laid her ghosts to rest, and he was prepared to wait until she was ready to come, alone. For, even though Ed had every intention of keeping the man's memory alive in the hearts of his family, there was no room for his ghost in their bed.

There'd been as much touching and innuendo as was possible with three children around, but things hadn't gone beyond that.

Yet.

She'd accepted his proposal; that meant she was ready. Doesn't it?

Nervous energy filled the Jeep as they rode from Redmond, back to the Edgewater.

And silence.

Deathly silence.

Was there some protocol for celebrating with your widowed fiancée?

Is that even a thing?

A widowed fiancée?

Is a fiancée a widow anymore?

Or is she just a fiancée?

Just a fiancée?

No! She's not just a fiancée, she's my fiancée!

Unable to take the silence any longer, Ed decided it was up to him to break the ice. He hoped, by laying his personal concerns on the table, Bella would feel comfortable sharing her own feelings about their impending night together, as well.

"I uh, I haven't done anything like this since I've come home. I mean, I've entertained various dating scenarios, but when it came to letting the cat out of the bag—" Ed shook his head and scoffed. "Either they run screaming, or they have an almost creepy fascination with seeing my stump. It's just always been easier being single, I guess."

"It's been more than four years for me," Bella whispered into the darkness. He couldn't see her face and he feared she might be having second thoughts.

She is ready, isn't she?

She'd been sending him all sorts of encouraging signals, at least he thought they were encouraging.

Am I reading her all wrong?

Was her concept of celebrating different from his own?

Flipping his blinkers on, Ed pulled onto the berm of the road. He turned on the dome light and twisted in his seat. He'd waited so long to be intimate with her that his self control was hanging on by a thread; he worried that he'd hurt her in his excitement. Loving his girl seemed to be all he had on his mind, he didn't want their first time together to be a negative experience for either of them. He wanted everything to be perfect. He squeezed her hand. "I promise to be gentle."

He needn't have worried. "Please don't be gentle. The last thing I want tonight is gentle."

"Oh, thank God!"

~0~

He'd felt like a teenager on prom night. No one had put him through his paces like Bella had, in a very long time. The trial and error of finding positions that were satisfying for them both had been filled with fumbling and laughter. In all the times he tried to visualize sex after amputation, he never imagined finding humor in the experience. Embarrassment or shame, maybe, but fun, or confidence? No. Not those things.

But he had.

With Bella, lovin' came as naturally as drawing breath. He stood and reached for her. "Shower with me? I can't take you home all mussed up like this. You look like you've been ridden hard and put away wet."

Her eyes twinkled at his teasing, so she gave it right back. "And that's a bad thing?"

"It is when your dad's the one watching the kids."

"And you don't think he knows what we've been doing?"

Ed could feel his cheeks reddening, "I didn't exactly outline my plan to defile his daughter when I asked if he could watch the kids. This is like, the ultimate walk of shame."

"He's been trying to convince me you're a great catch since you showed up on my doorstep with those damned bikes. Ironically, your unexpected appearance Christmas Day played right into his master plan of convincing me to lay Emmett's memory to rest and begin living."

Ed filled with warmth, Charlie Swan had felt like an ally, from the first time they'd met, and the man couldn't have acted happier when Edward asked for his blessing. Charlie's concern for his daughter and grandkids was obvious, his relief, palpable.

He'd heartily clapped Ed on the back and welcomed him to the family. Had he known all the naughty things Ed wanted to do with his daughter, he might not have so eagerly encouraged him.

~0~

Bella lay on her stomach in a hotel robe, her hair flipped over one shoulder. She studiously watched Edward as he went through the process of drying off his stump and preparing it to don his prosthesis. He walked around his place with it on, sans clothing, every day, but, despite everything they'd shared in the previous twenty-four hours, he felt self conscious with his lady in the room.

But, her quiet curiosity put him at ease as he smoothed on the lubricant and eased his leg into the sheath. He lifted his gaze, certain she'd been watching as he worked through the process and she blushed at getting caught. "Was it awkward getting used to your prosthetic?"

"I guess the hardest thing was reconciling the physical absence of my leg with the phantom sensations that said it was still there—but awkward?" He shook his head, affirming the negative. "Not once I realized it could put me back in charge of my life. Everything spiraled out of my control when I got hurt, every aspect of my life dictated by someone else. I was frustrated with my dependence on others and I was angry that my friends had been so mercilessly annihilated. When they fit me for my prosthesis, and I started training with it, I was able to take back my life. Was it awkward for Jasper to use the walker at first?"

Bella laughed; her smile bright as she talked about her youngest with obvious pride. "Only until he figured out what to do with it. Putting him in that walker was like giving him wings."

"That's how it was for me, too! I always imagined the guys who got sent home with an injury as being hampered by all this medical equipment, held back from life, somehow. I didn't really understand the freedom those devices provided until I got my leg. It took time learning to rely on my prosthetic, but it wasn't long before I was walking and then, running, again."

He might never be as fast, or as agile as he'd like, but one of his favorite things was running alongside Bella and her dog on a Saturday morning with the kids whizzing down the local bike path in front of them; Little Jasper's musical laughter filling the air as he pedaled to keep up. What had started out as a selfless gesture repaid Edward a hundredfold.