Life AGAIN got in the way, well, life and my laptop died (may it rest.) I got a new one and its taken me time to get to grips of Windows 8 (gah I miss the old fashioned Windows!) but least I have access to continue with my abandoned stories.
I left a message down below about Dreaming Reality, but you can read that after you read the most longed for and anticipated reunion between our two love-birds.
Disclaimer: I am secretly J.K Rowling, therefore I own this fabulous franchise and spend my days swimming in my own private pool of money
*The real J.K. slams a multi-million lawsuit on my lap*
Er, well -gulps- actually, I'm not J.K. Rowling just a little Harry Potter freak from Northern Ireland…Curse you fate for not allowing me to be J.K and bask in her millions!
For one brief second it was like they've never been parted.
For one brief second excitement filled the air and coursed through their bones.
For one brief second everything is what it was. What it should always be.
And then they remembered.
Thirteen years of seperation, of loneliness, of lies.
She stands before him straight and tall; no proud air, just the elegance she always held even in her current shocked state. She is wearing a long dark blue dress, the skirts just grazing over her feet. Her hair is much longer and darker, the wavy tips just past her chest. Heart hammering Sirius quickly moves his gaze. Physically she has changed much from the last time he laid eyes on her. She looks tired, with light blue bags swirled under her stunned expressive eyes. She's thinner, round her face and body; the curves she holds are not as extenuated as they had been. Her skin no longer holds colour; no rose coloured blush tints her cheeks, and her light brown freckles that once sprinkled over her cheekbones have dramatically faded.
Yet beneath the tiredness, the weight loss and the lack of colour and freckles, Sirius can still see the girl he fell for. Much as it soared and ached him the shy little girl he first met is still there. The loyal girl he grew up and fell in love with at Hogwarts is still there. And the passionate woman whom he made-love and married is too still there.
She also examines him thoroughly, similar to their reunion when ten and eleven in Kings Cross.
His black wavy hair shows hints of grey resting almost limply above his shoulders, the longest she's ever seen it minus the Wanted photos she saw when he escaped Azkaban. From what she can tell by his clothes he too looks thinner, no longer protruding the broad shoulders and muscles through his dark shirt and dark tweed jacket he once held thirteen years previous. His skin is pale, possibly with shock, and also taunt and worn. He now has a beard, not stubble or a goatee she used to see on him but a proper beard that covers his jaw-line, chin and around his mouth. Her stomach unconsciously flips, quickly averting her eyes to at last finding his own. She didn't know if this was for the better or the complete opposite.
For Mia it is his eyes that have changed the most. They once looked at her with that piercing love and devotion he always had just for her. Now, they still pierce but a haunted look lingers in them. The colour is more grey than blue; his time in Azkaban has obviously altered those eyes she adored. The light he once had in them is dramatically dimmed. With an aching heart she concludes she will never see that look of love show in his stare again, but she hopes the light will return.
Sirius too finds Mia's eyes are not looking at him the way they used to. Her eyes that could stun him into submission with a simple look of affection are now tear filled; exuding nothing but shock and pain. This slightly angers Sirius.
Why is she hurt? She left him. It was her idea for the separation to happen. She shouldn't portray even an ounce of the pain he feels. This was her doing even if it ultimately saved lives, including his own.
The silence abruptly ends as Mia throws herself to the kitchen sink. The sound of her vomiting fills the room.
Sirius doesn't move from his seat at the table. He doesn't have the strength too. He looks haunted more than ever. A darkness drapes over him. His pale face is sunken and his sitting body is rigidly hard. The only body parts that move is the quaking hand that lays on-top of the table and his manic beating heart. He can't even blink. His wide grey-blue eyes, loaded with heartache, intently watches Mia's body shudder over the metal basin.
Mia coughs and splutters, eventually gasping for air. With fumbling hands she turns on the taps, shakily dabbing water across her mouth and chin. Her long hair cascades over her shoulders, hiding her face and quite possibly her shame. Mia isn't one to willingly show weakness but at one time she was able to bring those barricades down infront of Sirius. He was one of the very few she would be vulnerable too. Now she can no longer look at him. This seems to anger Sirius the most.
"Why?" Sirius managed to rasp into the quite, tense room. His throat dry, breathing unsteady and emotions whirling. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to leave?"
Remaining silent Mia's body shook more so than it did when she was throwing up. Whether it's from the sound of her estranged husband's voice or his question it's hard to tell. Perhaps it's both. Mia's bowed head lowered further, her closed eyes scrunched tight as if hoping she would just disappear.
Eyes fastened on her form Sirius persevered. "Tell me..." His weak voice a tad stronger. His breathing a tad faster.
Silence.
"I have the right to know." he pressed, still raspy but rougher. More forceful.
"I deserve to know."
Again Mia keeps silent and shaking. Her body hunched over the sink, her face buried into the palm of her hand, her hair maintaining on being her curtain to hide her.
"TELL ME!" Sirius shouted slamming a thunderous fist upon the table.
She didn't physically react to the startling bang. But her heart did.
Emotion trembling at last she made to reply. At least attempted too.
"Please..." Mia begged in barely a whisper. Her hand moved from covering the whole of her face to just her eyes. "Please not now...!"
Sirius' whole body twitched by the sound of her voice. So long since he last heard her speak. Yet, like her stare, her voice has changed. It's not light, happy or filled with affection. Its quiet, sad and filled with…fear?
"I want answers." he said curtly, sounding not as rough as before.
"And you will get them, just please, not now..." she again whispered. And again there's that subtle trace of fear.
This does not help with Sirius's anger or his lack of patience.
Furiously Sirius shook his head, both hands clenching into tight fists; the vein on his neck pulsing angrily.
"No, no; you have been getting things your way over the past thirteen years – infact, from the moment I met you I've practically did all you asked of me, now it's my turn! I want to know what the hell has been going on!"
Weakly Mia answered, "Surely Albus or Vir-"
"I want to hear it from you!" Sirius demanded in a bark-like manner; another bang slamming onto the table. "You did this, you should explain to me why!"
With a dull thud upon the sink Mia's hand left her face. Her body remained hunched and face hidden. Her arms kept her weight but they trembled badly.
"I understand you wish to talk now, you have every right," she said her voice low and thick, "but believe me when I say at present I am in no stat-"
"I haven't been in a proper state for over 13 years, Amelia!" Sirius shouted, aggresively shoving himself away from the table and onto his feet. The chair he sat fell violently on the wooden floor. Mia's whole body flinched but not by the snapping sound of the fallen chair, but by the sound of her estranged husband saying her name. Her stomach clenches.
Sirius paced the kitchen left and right; his whole being edgy, stiff and erratic, yet maintaining a set distance between himself and Mia; his now stark grey eyes are mixed with frenzied emotions but not leaving her form. From the moment she entered the kitchen his eyes haven't left the sight of her.
After some pause to which Mia attempted to gather herself, with not much success, she decided to give in to Sirius request. He deserves this meeting more than anybody she just didn't think it would be this soon. However, he has chosen now; it's the least she could do for him after all she's put him through.
"Where do you wish to begin?" Mia asked, quietly and delicately.
Sirius stopped pacing. A brief shadow passed over his face.
"I guess why you decided disappearing was an option." he harshly replied.
There was another pause before Mia answered.
"It wasn't an option, it was a necessity." Even her quiet voice couldn't hide the assertiveness that resounded. "I had no choice. There was none."
"No choice?" Sirius angrily repeated. "You of all people could've found another way!"
"There was no other." she repeated, again assertively.
"So shutting yourself away was the only thing to do?" his face harshly tensing. "Making the ones that cared and loved you believe you became the person you always said you never wanted to be?"
Mia's pastel hands clasped tighter onto the edge of the basin from the slight indication of her mother.
"If it was in order to protect you then yes."
"And telling us beforehand didn't enter your mind? Was that not a possibility? Not even to me? Your own husband?"
Mia again flinched from the term.
"I couldn't..." she thickly whispered. "My powers and my mind…when David died I lost a sense of myself…"
"And was I not enough to comfort you?" Hurt lingered in Sirius's angry question.
Surprise jolted through Mia and her stomach clenched and flipped on hearing such a question. Heart pounding she raised her head, her hair falling back to reveal her pale face. Her tear stained eyes locked with Sirius's imploring ones, loaded with an emotion Sirius cannot- will not -fathom at this moment.
Air immediately left his lungs.
"Of course you were enough…" Mia tearfully whispered.
"YOU LEFT ME!" Sirius shouted back in response; desperation mixed with his anger and tears burned his eyes.
His whole self-ached reliving the moment he lost her. The agony he felt, the agony that has forever remained. And how she tortures him by saying he was enough, with so much feeling in her voice and in her eyes as if she truly cares for him. That she still loves him.
Many more tears glided down Mia's cheeks, her whole body quaking. She feels his anguish, his blends with her own doubling the suffering. Sirius was right, she was the one that caused this. She might have physically saved him but emotionally she damaged him.
"YOU CARRIED ON WITH YOUR LIFE WHEREVER YOU DISAPPERED OFF TOO WHILE I LOST EVERYTHING AROUND ME!...I NOT ONLY LOST MY WIFE, I LOST MY BEST FRIENDS, FINDING THEM-THEM DEAD…!"
At this Sirius turned away. With great weariness he leaned onto the counter placed on the right side of the sink. He leans into his arms for support with tense hands clasped round the counters edge; his legs awkwardly bended and his head heavily hung.
Voice profoundly thick he added, "I lost the rights to my Godson-our Godson, who we should've raised as our own…and not long after I lost my freedom...You weren't there…"
Sirius was never one to hide his emotions, no matter what mood he would be in. This is one of the reasons why Mia fell for him, he doesn't do pretend. You take him as you see him. Yet to see him broken…To be the reason why he is destroyed…To hear what he went through not long after she left…To feel that agony as if it happened yesterday and not years ago…Not even the powerful Amelia Dashwood could protect herself.
Her barricades have crumbled.
"Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever had to do! I did not want to do it but I had no other choice!" she sobbed out in despair. "I had to protect you! I was putting everyone in danger- I was not safe!"
Turning back to look at her Sirius's heart couldn't help but soar from her words, however his anguish remains.
"I could've helped you!" Sirius replied with equal despair.
"No you couldn't, no one could've!" she buried her face in her hands. Her body stumbled backwards, falling against the cabinets. Her back slid down on the wood, landing feebly onto the floor.
"Nothing could have been done! I had to leave! Those attacks Voldemort made on the Bones', the Longbottoms, the Prewitts, the muggle town of Cherry Valley and the access to a number of the Order's secret dwellings – he found and attacked them, all because of me! I gave him the knowledge! I feared what else he could've found out! I had to leave before I knew where Lily and James where going to hide; isolating myself from everyone was the only choice I had! But leaving everyone- leaving y-you…" Mia choked in her sobs.
Impossibly Sirius ached more from hearing her pain.
But she still left, he reminded himself.
After some needed deep steady breathes Sirius numbly responded, "If you told me what was going on…we could've done something…I could've…" he finished weakly.
"And what could've been done?" Mia disputed sounding equally as weak; her wet hands left her tear stained face and fell dejectedly to her lap. Her wide sodden eyes gazed up to Sirius from the kitchen floor.
Never has Sirius seen her appear so small and helpless. Not even when her Uncle died. His arms pined for wanting to wrap themselves around her. Instead he got them to wrap around himself much to their disapproval.
"If I, the 'great and powerful witch' that I am," Mia continued with disgust at her reference, "If I couldn't do anything, how could anyone else?"
Crying eyes met hers. "I would've been there for you..." he declared simply with deep sadness. "I would've stood by you…Been there holding your hand whenever Voldemort got access..."
Eyes shining even more, Mia sorrowfully whispered, "He would've found you..."
"I would've fought him." Sirius defiantly countered, his voice and eyes quickly losing the sadness. A flash of valour struck about him, his arms snappishly prepared by his sides.
"And you could've ended up dead..." said Mia, her voice croaking and body shuddering. A flash of fear rippling about her.
"Then I would've died protecting my wife. Isn't that what husbands are supposed to do?"
"At that point I had already lost one important man in my life, Sirius; I could not have lost another…"
Hearing the sound of his name from her voice was all it took for Sirius's brief stint of valour to vaporise. His knees buckled and he quickly made to lower his body to join her on the floor.
Mia sat in a corner; the sink at her top left and the oven not far to her right. Sirius sat at the right sight of the sink to where the counter ends. There is a gap between them; the size of the sink.
With closed eyes Mia's hand ran through her hair, stroking it away from her face, giving an even better view of her tired pale features. She's trying to gather herself together. The mention of losing David and the possibility of losing Sirius in such a way has affected her. She stubbornly refuses her mind to playback the vision she saw mere hours ago; the image of her much loved Uncle's death. If she conceded she would be no use for Sirius to gain his most yearned for answers. He deserves this meeting no matter what state she is in. She made him broken and damaged, he should do the same to her.
Taking a deep breath for courage and strength Mia reopened her eyes, instantly connecting with Sirius's who watched her the entire time.
Like they did when they first clasped eyes on another when reunited they scrutinised each other.
It's only now as the kitchen's muggle light shining above them becomes more prominent due to the darkness outside that he can clearly see her face. It's only now Sirius realises there appears to be dried blood plastered down the side of her face. Her dress is filthy also with splatters of dried blood and of dirt. Her skirt is slightly frayed and her shoes, that are ankle leather boots with laces, are covered in muck.
"Were you badly injured?" Sirius quietly asked.
"It looks worse than it is." replied Mia just as quiet. With little humour she added, "You'll probably get something similar when Dora finds out where you've been."
"It's none of her business." he said brusquely.
"She's your cousin, of course it's her business."
"And Virgo's supposedly yours, so do you think this is his business?" Sirius snapped, a frown creasing his weary yet still handsome features.
Mia didn't flinch by Sirius remark but she wasn't relaxed either. It was inevitable the subject of Virgo to come about.
"Yet having said that," Sirius added, still in that snappish manner, "It's a miracle he isn't here telling me to get lost, or in words with that effect…"
"He's probably waiting for me in the country house..." Eyes not leaving Sirius's, Mia added, "Just because you now know he's my cousin doesn't mean I'm expecting you to accept him-"
"Damn right I won't." Sirius growled through gritted teeth, and then just as quickly as his anger came weariness encased his slumped self. "After all these years…I never would have thought…Your cousin…"
"I begged David for years to let me tell you!" Mia cried beseechingly, leaning forward on her spot on the floor, as if wanting to grab his hand onto hers to emphasise plea.
"I wanted to tell you-!"
"Like everything else? You wanted to tell me but you couldn't because it was too dangerous?" said Sirius spitefully, his anger and bitterness returning.
"David believed it would've been too risky for you to know."
"I know the story about the Royal muggle connections, but David had me believe that Virgo was interested in you."
A frown now came to Mia's features. "Was my word not enough?"
"It didn't help that the guy left not long after you did! What was I supposed to think after that?!" Sirius shouted. "You were always alone with him-!"
"Only when it was work for the Order! I was with you as much as I could during that time! Don't forget you went away on missions too!"
"At least you knew where I went, I hadn't a clue with you!"
"That does not mean I did not worry as much as you did for me!"
"You had Virgo to comfort you, though. Did you know he purposely provoked me? Knowing how uncomfortable I was with your relationship. Even James thought there was something going on."
Restraining herself from rolling her eyes Mia delicately remarked, "James also once thought that Remus was secretly in love with Lily…-"
"This is entirely different! Not only did you spend a lot of time together but David thought he was bloody fantastic!"
"Virgo's his son! Of course he would think that!"
"I didn't know that at the time, did I?! It also didn't help that you never seemed bothered spending all the time with him. But did I mention it again after that argument we had? No. I kept quiet and just let it happen, which I regretted ever since."
"You should've trusted me." Mia stated quietly.
From his seat on the floor Sirius's stance heightened, much like a dog alert for the hunt.
"And you should've trusted enough to tell me EVERYTHING!" he roared. "Don't make me the bad guy when it was you that caused all this!"
"Yes I did cause this…" Mia agreed with a hint of a challenge and sadness in her voice. "And if I hadn't caused such bad terms between us then what would have become of you if I had left when there was nothing but good? Could you have handled it? I know you better than anybody Sirius, you would've ceased to exist!"
At the prospect of Mia disappearing when there was no signs to indicate she was troubled, distant or close with another man, Sirius couldn't deny how he would've reacted. He was positively devastated by Mia leaving on bad terms, it's true his reaction could've been much worse if she had left when she was her happy, loving self.
With a steady water-filled gaze Mia said, "It may seem to you I allowed my Uncle to walk all over me, but I never did tell him about our four year secret correspondence as children…I stayed friends with you when he wanted no contact between us during and when not in school…I became your girlfriend when he wouldn't want me in a relationship with anybody…And I married you, though he was totally against it…"
Again Sirius couldn't deny this. She did do all that to be with him but ultimately she left him so all that in a way is pointless.
"And shall I be thanking you on bended knee?" Sirius harshly replied; his anger pulsating once more. He vented it out directly on her.
"Should I rejoice that you dared refuse your guardian's wishes? Don't forget I faced the wrath of my dear old mum when I told her about us; don't you remember how welcoming she was to you? So I wouldn't put the risk of disappointing your Uncle too high on a pedestal..."
From the agonised expression on her face Sirius instantly sobered and badly regretted his words. It was a low blow. The lowest of blows to strike on an already vulnerable Mia.
He knows better than anyone how much she loved her Uncle. How his opinion, trust and love meant everything to her. She would do anything for him and he in return. Their relationship was more Father and Daughter than Uncle and Niece.
When David found out about their relationship, unhappy wasn't the word to cover it. He was adamant for it to end and when she refused she risked jeopardising their own relationship. For three days David refused to talk to her.
Sirius was by her side those entire three days: being the shoulder for her to cry on, wrapping his arms around her to shield her from her fear on the prospect of losing her Uncle, and whispering words of love and gratitude for her unwavering loyalty in her ear.
She risked losing her Uncle, the main constant in her life, to be with Sirius. Therefore for Mia she risked everything. And Sirius knew this. This proves she loved him….
"I'm sorry…" Sirius whispered, and he meant it.
"David never hated you, Sirius." Mia said thickly, no longer looking at him.
Sirius didn't like this.
"He didn't want us to be together because he wanted to protect you. He didn't want your life to be at risk by being with me almost as much as I didn't want it to be. He probably also knew that at some point I would have to leave you in order to save you, he wanted to spare you the hurt…He may have come across as difficult towards you Sirius, but that's because he was worried about you; he cared about you. And the reason why he eventually accepted us being together is because he knew that you loved me…" Mia paused; her breathes becoming deep and fast. Her voice thicker and becoming more upset. Her trickling tears puddled her skirts.
"And…and he knew you would've willingly done anything for me, even putting your own life on the line, like what he would do. Basically he saw himself in you, and in a way he felt threatened."
"I never wanted to replace him." Sirius said; his own voice and eyes thick with emotion.
"But you became the top of the list of my priorities. With you in my life I wouldn't need my Uncle to look after me…"
"But I didn't look after you…" Sirius croaked. "When he died-"
"When he died you were there for me!" Mia stated aggressively through her tears, her own anger at last making an appearance. "You were the one I went too when I found him…I shut myself from you the next day but I knew you were there for me! I knew you were keeping watch on me! Do you think it was easy for me to isolate you? To not acknowledge your kindness and love for me? To refuse to be close to you?" Mia returned her gaze back at Sirius, who stared back almost struck dumb. Her aggressive words are loaded with such torturous agony that Sirius has to believe her.
His heart painfully constricted with great emotion, he couldn't speak.
"Do you think it was easy for me to keep such secrets from you? To not only hide my family tree from the one person I trusted the most but to plan my departure? Knowing I would be hurting everyone? Hurting you? To destroy what we had? I do not regret what I have done, for there was no other way. I simply loved you all too much to let you die because I was too selfish to leave to protect you…"
Severing eye contact once more Mia raised her head, resting it against the cabinet; her eyes to the ceiling but not really seeing it. With a shaky hand Mia wiped the countless tears away from her cheeks and down her neck. Her chest heaved for air; trying to gain a steady even rhythm after her passionate burst of anger.
Sirius didn't wipe away his tears, leaving them to stay imprinted on his skin. Though he tried to refuse it, attempting to force his anger to stay whatever of it remains, Sirius can't help marvel at her. She always did affect him no matter what mood she is in, and no matter how or should he feel about her.
"There's one thing I do regret…" Mia confessed; her voice back to being quiet and delicate. Her sights returned to Sirius, again her stare causing more air to leave his lungs.
In a voice barely a whisper Mia professes, "I regret not getting you out of Azkaban…"
With a light questioning look across his stunned immersed expression, without thinking Sirius croakily asked, "Why didn't you?"
"By the time I would've been strong enough to accomplish such a mission you would've been on your eighth stint. I also believed, God forgive me, you had killed Peter and those poor muggles..." said Mia remorsefully. She appeared so sickened on believing the notion that her reaction lessened Sirius's distress that she once thought him a murderer.
"I too were to blame for the deaths. I thought because of me leaving so horribly the ordeal made you go on a murdering spree. Maybe I thought too highly of myself, but it was the only reason that could explain why you would commit murder…"
"And James and Lily?" Sirius asked; uncertainty on hearing the answer mingled with the desperation on wanting to know. Her believing he betrayed them would be much worse than her thinking him a killer.
Unwavering and thick with emotion Mia answered, "Not once did I believe you betrayed them. I knew you would've rather died than do such a thing. I know Peter declared you did before he scarpered, but I thought he got his wires crossed. And because he declared such a terrible thing you killed him, the muggles simply in the wrong place at the wrong time."
"I wish I did…" Sirius growled; anger direct on Wormtail boiled through his veins.
"James wouldn't want you to kill him, Sirius." Mia said gently. "Even if he does deserve it."
"I spared his life once when I caught him, and that was at Harry's request. I don't think I could spare the scum again."
"If Voldemort regains power he may beat you too it. He isn't very happy with darling little Peter…" Mia said darkly.
"What's Peter done to him?"
"For not looking for his master during his time of need. A number of Death Eaters will be facing the same punishment for the same crime."
"Will?" Sirius repeated snappishly. "You think he is going to return?"
Expression dramatically grave Mia replied, "Eventually."
"Is he after you?" Sirius asked pressingly.
"Soon he will want to meet." Mia unemotionally answered.
Anger boiled again in Sirius's blood, concluding, "And you will grant him that meeting."
Mia didn't answer. Her expression was vocal enough.
Indignantly shaking his head Sirius barked, "You really are eager for people to see you as Voldy's chum. If Fudge caught wind of your int-"
"If Fudge found out your with me Harry will be taken from you faster than you could blink!" Mia snapped her anger matching his own.
Sirius menacingly scowled at the concept. "He has no right."
"He's Prime Minister, he has every right." said Mia, she too scowling. "He will also send you back to Azkaban. Because we are still married he sees you just as threatening as me."
Sirius stared at Mia for a few seconds before stating rather than questioning, "And you see our 'marriage' as a hindrance, then?" A hint of bite in his voice.
Mia maintained a steady gaze, sensing another argument about to begin.
"It is for you if you are to be trusted in the Ministry's eyes-"
"Screw the Ministry!" Sirius pronounced loudly. "I am not doing anything for that lot after all they have done!"
"This isn't just about you anymore, Sirius; Harry is involved too! You have just got custody of the kid, don't let your temper lose him!"
Sirius rose to his feet; aggravation scorching his whole stance as he stands, his back facing her. One hand fastens on his hip while the other runs exasperatingly through his long wavy hair.
"The best thing for you to do is to begin divorce proceedings."
Whip-like he turns to face her, staring her down on the floor. Two emotions rule his senses and have done so many times during this whole encounter. Anger and hurt.
"Is that what you want?" he quips, voice dangerously low.
"It's what's best."
"Is that what you want?" he repeats through gritted teeth. Not moving. Standing rigidly still.
"When dealing with Harry's welfare it doesn't matter what I want." Mia replied coolly.
"But you're after it, aren't you? You want this link with me to end, don't you? To move on with some guy you've got wherever it is you went!" His voice got louder and more aggressive and he stepped closer by each questioning statement. He was looming over her, staring hardly down; grey-blue stare loaded with judgement along with the pain.
Mia's own anger clouded like a mighty fog over any patience or reasoning. The idea of her wanting to be with another stabs her like a knife tearing her heart. Like she could ever move on! It's her turn to jump onto her feet. Since kids he has been taller than her, no difference as adults. That does not mean she can't be just as intimidating. Size is no guarantee of power.
"Moving on is what you may have wanted, Sirius, but the idea never entered my mind." she said coldly; tears stinging her eyes yearning to return their decent. "I, like what I have always done, am putting other people's needs first. Harry is our main priority, and if you want to keep him you're going to have to swallow your pride and do what is best."
"You think this is about pride?" said Sirius heatedly. "Believe me love, pride has got nothing to do with it…" He glowered; standing toe to toe in front of one another, both not yet realising they haven't been this physically close with one another for just over thirteen years.
"Then whatever it is it can't be more important than Harry. If I make the request for a divorce there's a chance our marriage could be exposed. I do not trust Fudge to keep it a secret for long. You have a better chance at being discreet."
"Has it ever been a secret, Mia?" said Sirius condescendingly. "The main person to not find out, knows! What danger is there if it gets plastered on the Prophet?"
"Yours and Harry's reputation will be tarnished! You may be able to handle it, but Harry is only fourteen, he's got enough to deal with already; it's bad enough his name will forever be linked with Voldemort's, don't let his name be tainted with my own as well!"
"If Harry trusts you and wishes to stay in contact he will not care." said Sirius in strong assertiveness.
"As long as you're married to me he will be at risk of being taken from you from the Ministry. Albus can only do so much."
Eyes intently scrutinising every feature for a reaction Sirius asked darkly, "Are you sure there is no other reason for you wanting a divorce?".
Tears finally escaping through narrowed eyes, Mia frostily assured, "If I wanted to move on from you Sirius, wouldn't divorcing you when I believed you to be murderer be a better time than any?"
Silence ensured the room.
Heavy, tense, sparking silence.
She stayed married to him when she thought him a mass murderer. Could that be out of guilt for thinking she was partly to blame for his conviction? Or could the reason be something more? She did keep her wedding ring…
At last they realise how close in proximity they are. Realisation dawns on either's face, erasing their anger, but neither move.
Toe to toe they stand, eyes interlocked. Grey-blue latched onto dark-green.
Their heartbeats pump quicker. Their breathing gradually getting heavier. Nerves flutter and clench either stomach.
It's been far too long since Sirius has been able to look at her so closely. To feel her breath brush against his face. To be acutely aware of her body heat radiating dangerously near his own self.
All he has to do is raise a hand ever so slightly and he'll be able to touch her. To physically verify she is actually real. Standing tall with that elegance; living and breathing before him.
God, even in anger and hurt he cannot deny the attraction is still intensely there. Even after discussing such a topic as divorce the bond they share remains strongly intact.
And both know, without the need for words, neither wants the marriage to end.
The sound of a door slamming shut cruelly interrupts their moment. And the voice of a man, a man Sirius has very mixed feelings for, sounds throughout the muggle house. Sirius turns away.
"Mia? Mia are you here?"
His voice is like nails on a chalk-board for Sirius. Fists and teeth clench as he returns to the counter, leaning against it.
Eventually the kitchen door swings open and Virgo enters, halting mid-step at the sight before him.
His lime green eyes latch onto Sirius; a deep frown creasing his forehead.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he said quietly.
"I can ask you the very same thing." Sirius gruffly retorted.
"Did you invite him?" Virgo sternly asked Mia who matched his unamused expression. He frowned even more on registering her haggard appearance.
"Dumbledore was kind enough to give me the address." Sirius answered grabbing the attention away from Mia.
"And what made you decide now is the time for answers? Clearly you can see she is not in any condition."
"You knew I wanted to see her."
"I didn't think it would be this soon. If I knew-"
"I don't need to make an appointment with you in order to see my own wife!" said Sirius loudly.
Virgos lime green eyes widened. Mia's heart skipped several beats.
"Oh, she's your wife now, is she?" Virgo questioned somewhat mockingly. "It was only mere hours ago you wanted nothing to do with her!"
Sirius moved away from the counter; his face set.
Mia quickly put herself in the middle, halting Sirius's violent intent.
"It's ok, Virgo." she said insistently, "He has every right to be here."
Virgo however ignored his cousin. "She's been through enough today," he said angrily to Sirius, "she doesn't need you to make her feel worse than she already does."
"What makes you think I'd make her feel worse?" Sirius asked with the air of a man readying himself for a fight; physical if Sirius has it his way.
"I know you Sirius, of course you would make her feel bad for leaving you!"
"Virgo, please." said Mia near pleadingly. "Sirius hasn't said anything that wasn't unjustified."
"No doubt he would make you think that," said Virgo. "Why couldn't you have waited?"
"You mean until you were available to join in?" said Sirius scathingly.
"Until everything I told you sunk into that lack of brain of yours! I'm sure your temper was in full flare."
Sirius glared murderously in response which Virgo equally returned when he added,
"If you hurt her, I swear I'll-"
"I never touched her!" Sirius said loudly.
"Words can be just as damaging, and you know Mia's weakness when it comes to that! If you said anything against her-"
"I am quite capable on looking after myself, Virgo." Mia declared, trying to forget the feeling of Sirius's chest pressing closer on her back.
"Accepting his cruel jibes isn't protecting yourself." Virgo replied, heated lime eyes still locked on Sirius.
"Look mate, this isn't any of your business." said Sirius.
"It is if you've made her an emotional wreck! You have no idea what she went through for you. No doubt you haven't even thanked her for saving your life."
"Virgo, just drop it!" said Mia, struggling to keep Sirius from lunging across. "Go back to the country house, get the group together and fill them in."
"Already done-"
"Then do it again!" Mia snapped.
Finally Virgo removed his angry gaze from Sirius and set it on Mia. "I've been worried sick about you, prepared to break you out of Azkaban if needs be and this is the thanks I get? Of course now Sirius is back in the picture you will take his side."
"I am not taking sides, the pair of you are as bad as each other! It will be easier if you just go, Virgo. I'll head out later."
Virgo glared at Mia and then to Sirius, the two sharing one more long look of dislike, before roughly turning and leaving the muggle house. The front door slamming violently shut on his way out.
"He tries to take too much control over you." said Sirius after a moment of silence.
"He is only looking out for me." Mia tersely replied, taking a step forward, removing the feeling of his chest away from herself. Her back now feels bare without the pressure. She wraps her arms around herself to give her some comfort, be it little.
"Fighting with him will solve nothing." she added, turning to face him.
"I don't want to solve anything with him!" Sirius growled. "I want nothing to do with him!"
"Then surely the prospect of divorce is becoming more appealing; you will no longer be cousins-in-law."
It's a good thing Mia didn't intend her comment to be humorous because Sirius saw it anything but.
"Besides keeping Fudge off my back, why are you so eager for a divorce?" Sirius asked.
"Why are you so against it?" Mia retaliated.
Like before Virgo entered the kitchen Sirius and Mia stood and stared at one another. The air in the room returned to being filled with a heavy, tense, sparking silence.
He's admitted to himself he still holds feelings for her. How could he not, seeing her standing there with that defiant yet elegant look. He's still hurt by her leaving, but it's not strong enough to dismiss his affections.
Can he tell her how he feels? Does she already know? Would she feel the same?
And then Sirius remembered her statement from when he first questioned her intention for divorce.
Throat suddenly dry he asked, "Why did you stay married to me when you thought I was a murderer?"
He saw her eyes widen and the hands holding her arms tighten their grip. From the bond they share he can ascertain her moods, and right now she's nervous. She's trying to hide it, desperately so, but he can feel it.
Without thought he took a step closer to her, like before toe-to-toe.
She didn't step away
"Mia?" Sirius pressed in a whisper; wanting to know the answer, needing too.
Her breathes are loud, shallow and quick. Her eyes are wide like saucers; the dark green glistening.
Barely a whisper, Mia answered, "Just because I left didn't mean my love for you did."
A jolt shot through him. His stomach drop, similar to the feeling like he missed a step. His heart pounded louder and he stilled his erratic breathing.
Eyes burning onto hers he breathed, "And what about now?"
It seemed she would've gave him an answer, and if he dared hoped he believed it would've been the answer he wanted. Yet sadness casted over her submissive features, ending the sparky tension between them, and she removed eye contact, setting her sights to the floor.
"I don't think it's wise to go there, Sirius." she said, taking a step backwards.
"Why not?" he spoke; his voice brash in contrast to his whisper.
"Because no matter what answer I gave you, you wouldn't be happy."
"And you are to decide how I feel?" he said, temper rising.
"This is no longer about us, Sirius, no matter how we may feel about each other. Harry has to come first."
Yes Harry has to come first, Sirius has always known this, but to disregard his feelings totally? To not discuss what there is between them? Without a doubt Harry will want to keep in contact with her, and Sirius has no choice but to allow him. Won't that result on seeing her? Maybe not regularly, but as frequent at possible? How is he, Sirius, to be civil towards her if he does not know her true feelings?
And if she does hold feelings for him why is she rejecting possibility of being together again? There is no Uncle to stop her this time, she can freely make her own choice. They are no longer teenagers, Sirius can't hound her in Hogwarts until she agrees to be with him. No, things are different now. Perhaps she's different, he certainly is after what he went through over the past thirteen years.
Love evolves over time, and they have been longer separated than they have been together during the course of their marriage. At thirty-four and thirty-three they can't have the same love for each other as they did when twenty-one and twenty.
Perhaps he should consider moving on, or at least allow her too. She clearly doesn't want this marriage to continue no matter what there may be between them.
Mia sacrificed her life for him, he should sacrifice something equally as important.
His heart.
"You'll get your divorce papers by the end of the week." he gruffly stated, sharply turning away making towards the kitchen table.
With an abrupt hand leaving his breast pocket Sirius sets something on the wooden surface, and continuing to not look at her to make his departure and his decision less painful, Sirius walked past her and left the muggle house.
Mia willed herself not to yield to her emotions. To remain still, firm and intact. Her barricades strongly secure.
She made the mistake on allowing her gaze to retrace Sirius's steps before he left.
There on the table, as clean and beautiful as the day it was given, is Mia's wedding ring with the necklace attached newly fixed.
Mia's barricades crumble once more.
Awwwww, poor wee Mia! Poor wee Sirius! And also, poor wee Virgo! He was only trying to be a protective cousin!
I hope you guys enjoyed their most longed for reunion!
Hands up who wants Mia to get off her high horse and throw herself into Sirius waiting arms?
I myself would shove her out of the way and hurl myself at him.
I know I didn't delve much into why Sirius suddenly believes Mia/ the convo he has with Albus/ and where Mia has been i.e. the country house – but all in due time! I couldn't have thrown everything in their first meeting, it needs to spread.
I will have to leave this story for a while…again. Dreaming Reality is badly abandoned (like Sirius's heart!) and I need to finish it. Hopefully I will have the time and the energy to do so.
Let me know what you think of this story so far!
Happy belated St Patricks Day! Yeoooooooo!