Fourteen:

Eleven Years Later

It was routine now. She donned her large, dark hat and pulled on her dark green robes before she left, without looking in the mirror. She knew what she looked like well enough - she hadn't the time to glance at her reflection. She made her way down the hall, her wand flicking ties in the right knot, swishing skirts down - the first day and yet the uniform of the returning students was appalling. She remember the long, nearly ankle length skirts that she wore during her time at school and wondered, how on Earth could he have thought me attractive with that! But she quickly ridded her mind of him. It was best to do it - she never looked back, it was as if the time before never existed, she needed it that way.

The hall was glowing, the ceiling a mantle of yellow candle flames and she glanced inside to see students filing in, the teachers whispering amongst themselves and Albus, sitting in his chair in the middle of them, his face still, his eyes unmoving. When he caught sight of her and their eyes locked, he bobbed his head a little - like he always did. Since she had left him, they had worked together but had never been alone together. He was gentlemanly, courteous but he hardly spoke to her. They didn't know each other anymore, they lived separate lives and yet they couldn't get away from each other. Minerva had thought about leaving, at first but she knew that she wouldn't be able to function with out his presence. Even if she couldn't be with him, she needed him there, she needed to see him everyday and hear his voice and see his smiles, even if they were not directed at her.

The heavy doors closed in front of her and she waited at the top of the stair case. She could hear the nervous prattle of the first years and as they came towards her and she pursed her mouth, she noticed that some were sickly white while others had wide eyes of excitement. The same looks every year, she smiled inwardly. It wouldn't do for the students to see her smile, they would think her soft from the beginning. She held up her hand and hush descended over the small crowd. She spoke to them in a clear, tight voice, her eyes meeting those of the students in turn, as she explained the sorting process and the basic school rules.

When the doors opened and she motioned for them to follow her, she heard the usual gasps of awe as she marched the length of the hall, the children following her. When she reached the stool, she called for them to hurry up. She noticed Harry Potter in the crowd, who could not have noticed him, he looked so much like his father, and a ginger Weasley stood amongst the crowd - how many more were there?- and a sleek, blonde haired Malfoy. He had a smug look on his round face, he won't look so smug in my lessons, she promised herself.

She read from the scroll and in turn the students took a seat, were sorted and scurried over to the respective table, amongst the cheers and claps from the houses. It was going smoothly, no one had fainted or fallen from the stool at least, and she read in a cool, dry voice, "Granger, Hermione."

A small, nervous looking girl stepped forward. Her light hair was wild and hid her face but when she looked up Minerva, shining blue, familiar eyes met hers. She almost lost her balance, the world span for a moment and her mouth went dry. Her heart was pounding as she lifted the hat onto the girls head. She couldn't think - it was all she could do but reach out and grab her, keeping her in her arms for hours and hours, making up for all the time that was taken from them. Here she was, after all that time, in front of her, just inches away and she wasn't prepared. They were in a room filled with people, with eyes looking this way -

The hat cried out the house that Hermione would be sorted into but Minerva didn't hear. She couldn't hear anything, she looked at Albus, who nodded his head slightly and then at Poppy, who quickly looked away with out meeting her eyes. Then it was true - it was her, she was here!

When the sorting had finished and Minerva had gone through the motions of the feast, picking at her food and pushing it around the plate, she was glad when the students were sent to bed. She craned her long neck too watch Hermione as she followed the crowd, her eyes drinking in everything. She was a small girl, thin but walked with a confidence that she had inherited from her mother. Her hair was the same shade as David Slately's but everything else belonged to Emelia. Emelia, who she hadn't thought about in months, for her own sanity. She remember Emelia's sorting, and how she had walked out of the great hall that night with a quick glance to her parents for reassurance. Minerva caught her breathe - the pain knocked the air out of her lungs.

She didn't notice Albus approach her, she only knew that he was there when he bent down and whispered in her ear, "I think we need to talk, my office?"

She nodded dumbly and stood, taking his arm with out thinking about it. She hadn't touched him in over a decade but she couldn't feel it - all she could feel was her heart swelling and aching.

Albus looked down at her in surprise as her arm slipped through his. When he saw her gazing at nothing, he realised that she was aware of what she was doing. Be that as it may, it still felt nice, real, comfortable. He hadn't been near her in so long and he longed to be - he still loved her as strongly as before and he was still waiting for her to come back. He would always be waiting, even if she never did come.

He lead her to his office, where he helped her sit down. Nerves gnawed at his heart - he hadn't been alone with her in years. He hadn't spoken to her with out anybody there for just as long and he wasn't sure how he should talk to her. He had to remember that she was no longer his wife, she may still be in the eyes of the law, for she had never sought a divorce (which he was glad about, the cut from her might have killed him) but she wasn't his wife in any other sense. He had to be careful what to say to her, he didn't want to bring back painful memories but the arrival of the girl today had obviously caused Minerva distress - she was as wide eyed as a hunted rabbit, her face white and still.

"Minerva, would you like a drink?"

She shook her head.

"You didn't eat a lot, you should eat, it's not good-"

"Did you know she was coming?" Minerva asked suddenly, her eyes on him. "Did you know and didn't prepare me?"

Albus shook his head. "No, I didn't know anything- I didn't even know where she was, I didn't think she would be coming here."

She nodded slowly. "Poppy must have known? Why didn't she tell me?"

He shrugged. "Perhaps... Perhaps, she thought that the child would be sent to another school. Never here."

"Maybe," Minerva said quietly. "What do we do?"

"I don't know. Carry on like before?"

"But she's here, everything has changed! She's in my house, Albus, how can I carry on like before, as if she didn't exist, when she is right there in front of me?"

"We have to," Albus said softly. "We need to keep her safe, I haven't suffered for all this time to put her in danger now-"

"I've suffered to," she said. She hung her head. She hadn't spoken about her feelings to anybody, not even Poppy. No one could understand her pain, only Albus, but she couldn't speak to him.

"Yes, but you were not left, I stayed where I was and I still suffered," he said, without a hint of bitterness in his voice.

"I couldn't live like we were," Minerva said, her tone apologetic. "We couldn't live like that forever. We could have crumbled away anyway, you know that Albus, I just severed us before that started."

"Maybe, maybe we could have gotten through it. You didn't give us any time-"

"Time!" She cried. "I gave it a year. We were not going to work, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we have never been lucky. It seems that Tom Riddle will always be between us..." she stood up. "I understand what you mean about Hermione. I'll be her teacher and head of house, nothing more. Good night, Headmaster." She had to escape. She was drained and she couldn't explain herself - it caused too much pain, too many memories. She couldn't be near him for much longer - the lurching of her heart, her shallow breathes, she hadn't much more strength to stop herself from lunging into his arms and burying herself in there.

"Minerva," he called after her as she made for the door. "Please! Stay, I still love-"

"Don't, Albus," she choked. "I cannot bear it." And she was gone.

AMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAMAM

Poppy set the tea tray down, her brow furrowed. "I don't understand why you punish yourself, or him, for that matter," she muttered.

Minerva rolled her eyes. "I'm not going through this again," she said. "I can't be with him but I cannot live without him. It's complicated."

Poppy sighed, her bright eyes questioning. "Fine, fine, I won't ask anymore questions. I still think its idiocy though," she added with a hint of a smile. "You haven't divorced him though..."

"Pomfrey!" Minerva barked. "I'll go back to my rooms and you'll have to drink your tea all alone."

"What a fright that will be!" Poppy mocked but she did change the subject. Today had brought about the gathering of a storm and she had much more to ask. She of all people hadn't expected the child to turn up to Hogwarts, though, why she hadn't expected it she didn't know. Maybe it was because she hadn't wanted the girl to, she knew what it would do to her friend if she did. "Did you speak to him about the girl?"

"Hermione, that's what they called her. I'd nearly forgotten, I didn't really like the name when Emelia picked it but she said David liked it..." Minerva said as a memory began to fill her mind but she quickly spoke to get rid of it. She couldn't keep letting those happy memories creep in. "I have spoken to him, I've just come from his office-"

"That's why your flustered-"

"Poppy," she hissed. Poppy muttered 'sorry,' and Minerva continued. "He says that I cannot tell her. She mustn't know, to keep her safe."

"That's understandable," Poppy said. "Everything has been done to try to protect her, I hope you know that."

"I know, but it didn't help at first. Now I understand but at the time, it just seemed as if everybody was against me. Albus knew that you were going to take her, it seemed as if Filius knew and I was the only one - where did you take her?"

"Minerva, I can't-"

"But she's already here! Surely I can know now?"

"I don't know, I haven't spoken to-" she stopped.

"Albus," Minerva finished for her. "You haven't spoken to Albus. Only he can decide if I'm allowed to know the full story. Do you see now, Poppy, why I must stay here? My life will forever be linked with that man, I need him to live and I need him because one day, I'll finally find out everything."