Chapter Fourteen
When Bella is gone safely to La Push, I think.
I think about Alice and Bella.
Alice and Bella.
Alice and Bella.
Alice and Bella.
My head feels like it is going to explode. Alice and Bella. I love Alice, that is true. And I love Bella that is true as well. But what kind of love do I have for her? I can't answer that question.
And I don't even know why.
Alice.
Bella.
Alice.
Bella.
Alice. Bubbly, little, joyous Alice.
Bella. Serious, thin, broken Bella.
I have to set my priorities straight.
Alice and Bella.
Alice and Bella.
Why can't I stop thinking about them?
I close my eyes and think of Alice.
Love.
Joy.
Laughter.
Family.
And now I think of Bella.
Guilt.
Grief.
Love.
Hope.
I clench my fists. Hope means redemption for a soldier.
For me.
I've never had hope. Never felt it. Never tasted it.
But with Bella that hope in my belly is growing, flowering.
Family or Hope?
How am I supposed to choose?
I think of Alice, waiting for me on the doorstep. Her little arms are welcoming and loving.
I think of Bella, her eyes holding that hope that I'll come back. Always with that hope.
And a thought came to me.
Bella's eyes. Hopeful and broken... and underneath all of it was longing.
But it isn't for me.
It is for Edward.
Edward.
Why have I never thought of him? He is always near Bella. May it be a physical body, a nightmare, a dream, or a memory.
He's always there.
And I know the answer to my question.
What kind of love do I have for Bella?
Brotherly love.
"Brotherly love," I whisper to the living room.
It didn't feel right.