Disclaimer: I do not own School Rumble or any other properties mentioned in this story.
What you should know: This story begins during the events depicted on School Rumble Z 09. It is a Monkey Faction fic (Harem for those not used to the term). There will be some crossovers during the story but they are mainly cameos. It is not a sequel of my previous School Rumble Story (School Rumble: Final Rumble). Finally I would like to apologize if this story hurts your sensibilities.
Special Note: Greetings readers!
First off I want to apologize due to the extreme delay.
If you decide to abandon this fic, well, I can't blame you. I can only say: sorry about the delay and thanks for reading the previous parts.
If you decide to give it a chance and still read it then let me say: Thank you! I'll try my best to keep writing.
And in case you're curious and have come here for the first time let me say: Welcome! I hope you enjoy your stay.
Well. I must be boring you with all this. Sorry about that too. So without further ado let's pick this fic back right where it was left off
School Rumble: Time Rumble
# 14
The Monkey and The Old Friends
"Is everything clear agent T?"
At her superior's office after her mission briefing, Takano Akira looked at her supervisor without flinching.
"Permission to speak freely, Sir."
"Granted." Said the man while sighing internally. He knew what was coming.
"It's some sort of lack of confidence in my abilities that have made you decide not to assign us the mission that was discussed before?"
"No. We have full confidence in your skills agent T."
"Is something wrong with the mission plan that I have presented?"
"No. It's a good plan agent T. It shows a great deal of skill in using your team strengths."
"It's because I have been writing fictional dramatic stories with the supervisor in a leading role?"
"No, it isn't that either…" Said the supervisor while blushing. The girl had a great deal of imagination but he would prefer if she didn't use real people (i.e. him) as characters on them.
"I just want to left clear that the scene between the commander's assistant and you was done as a tastefully representation of male bonding and not as a Yaoi or BL (Boys Love) scene as some readers have wrongfully interpreted."
"Yeah. I'm sure of that."
"And that it wasn't based in any way in a real event between the supervisor and the commander's assistant that I might have witnessed… completely by accident of course."
"Enough Agent T!" Said the supervisor while slamming his fist on the desk. "And stop playing games with me! You know very well that the reason why we haven't assigned the mission to you is because of the lack of experience of the agent Monkey! If you want this mission so badly then just request somebody else as your partner!"
"Sir. The plan that I presented requires him in that role. Using anyone else would only reduce our chances of success."
"You have that much faith in him?"
"I like to think that I'm not the only one, Sir."
The supervisor let go a sigh.
"Very well. I'll assign somebody to run an evaluation on him and determine if he is ready for it."
"Thank you Sir"
"Don't thank me anything yet agent T. We have a very short time frame so we won't be able to provide any training, our man will go and evaluate his skills. Nothing more."
"I'm sure that it will be enough." Said Akira confidently. "Anything else Sir?"
"Yes… Just one more thing before you're dismissed…" Said the supervisor while reclining on his seat. "Would it kill you to at least use fictional names in your stories?"
The supervisor could swear that he saw the hint of a smile on the girl's wooden face.
"I'll work on it Sir."
"Wait up Sou!"
The blue haired junior high student ignored her childhood friend's request since, at the moment, she was focused on finding a certain individual among the people that were present at the penguins' exhibit at the Yagami zoo.
"Come on Sou!" Said Hanai once he could keep up the pace with the young kempo practitioner that was continually moving between exhibits. " We've came here everyday in the last week looking for that delinquent. Are you sure that we'll find him here?"
"Absolutely." Mikoto answered while looking around the monkey exhibit. "Yakumo-chan says that the moron comes here at least once a week so we're bound to find him sooner or later if we just keep looking."
"Well. If Yakumo-chan says it then it must be the truth."
Mikoto let go a combination of a sigh and a grunt. It seemed that Hanai's one track mind had locked in the younger Tsukamoto and he made no effort of hiding that he only tagged along Mikoto's quest in the off chance to meet with the red eyed girl.
But Mikoto had her own reasons to be here.
Since the horrendous Dojibiron Live show the blue haired student has been trying to find the elusive Harima Kenji in order to clear up whom he had declared his love so passionately to.
Yakumo had said that it wasn't her and Tenma said that she had never met the guy. Not that the older Tsukamoto had had a good look at his face anyway but Yakumo was able to draw a very nice sketch of him. In fact the sketch was so flattering that Tenma didn't think to associate him with the 'thug' that tried to attack her some time ago in a side street (not that she paid much attention anyway since at the moment she only had eyes for Karasuma).
Who would have guessed that Yakumo was so good at drawing? Even her older sister was surprised saying that, at school, Art was Yakumo's worst subject.
The younger girl blushed while saying that she had just become interested in drawing recently. Even she was surprised of how her skills had improved.
Mikoto snickered. The girl was so cute. She wasn't surprised in the least that she had picked up Hanai's interest. Judging for her physical appearance the girl was quite the catch. Also her soft personality and good manners made her somebody easy to like. Any guy would fall in love her at first sight. And something inside Mikoto told her that this girl had several inner qualities that would make her a living Yamato Nadeshiko.
However, Mikoto could see that the girl was interested in Harima. Heck, in her opinion, the crush that Yakumo had for the delinquent was obvious to anybody that bothered to pay the minimal attention. And, somehow deep inside, she knew that it was more than a teenage crush. It was like she had been pining for the rough boy for years… and always would.
Mikoto had no idea of how she knew that (she had only met the girl a couple of times in the last few months for god's sake!) but she was certain of her conclusions.
And of course that meant that Mikoto's bespectacled childhood friend had no hope.
Not that Hanai would ever listen to her anyway.
But she digresses. The point is that Tenma didn't know him, Yakumo was adamant in her belief that his declaration wasn't directed to her. Since the other girls (namely Lala and Ichijo) were in the opposite direction where he was talking to that meant that Harima's love declaration was directed to…
"NO WAY IN HELL!" Her scream made the tigers, lions and panthers in the nearby cages to scramble away in fear.
"NO, NO, NO! There must be some sort of mistake. I have to find that goddamn moron and clarify everything!" Said Mikoto while looking frantically around the Zoo at a speed that many would consider impossible for a young girl. "I would understand if it were Yakumo-chan or even Tenma! She is so adorable that anyone would love to be around her. But me?... Impossible!"
"It´s that difficult to believe that somebody could be interested in you?" Said a seemingly forgotten Hanai.
"I guess not, but it's just… Wait a minute!" Said a blushing Mikoto realizing that she answered the question without thinking. "What the hell are you trying to say?!"
Mikoto didn't know what to expect from that question. Hanai had never openly expressed any interest in her (at least from her point of view) and she never took their family and friends' comments about them being a couple more than friendly teasing.
Could Hanai be mocking her? Even if he didn't joke about that (or anything for that matter) if he dared to make fun of her in that regard an appropriate corrective (a hard blow towards the soft regions of his body) would be necessary.
But what if Hanai's intentions were… different? What if after asking that embarrassing question He decided to follow it with a… confession?
"You…" Hanai had said suddenly in a a deep and low voice. His face showed seriousness a level higher than usual and his eyes had a strength that could even intimidate Mikoto.
"Hanai…" The girl was scared. She didn't know how to answer if he popped 'the question.' It's not that she hadn't considered it but she was sure that her feelings towards Hanai were of friendship only. She had never felt for him what she feels for Kouso sempai. Heck! She considered that Harima had more chances to be with her than her childhood friend.
'Wait a minute, Where did that came from?' Though Mikoto. 'I am not seriously considering HIM as boyfriend material. No way! I'm only interested in Kouso sempai and nobody else! The thought of me and that monumental idiot together had only crossed my mind due to his heartfelt and passionate love declaration, THAT I AM SURE WASN'T DIRECTED TO ME!' Her sudden inner anger to Harima's weird behavior gave her the strength necessary to deal with the surprisingly scary Hanai so Mikoto decided to cut him off before Hanai decided to ask something that she had no intention to answer. "Hanai!"
"Don't move!"
"Uh?" Mikoto's face was completely red now. After Hanai had said that with an authority that truly scared her and began walking towards her in a slow but resolute way Mikoto's mind had gone into overdrive thinking about the different things that Hanai might do once she reached her. Cheesy scenarios that included sakura petals out of nowhere with romantic background music and a fade to black when their lips where about to touch being the prominent ones. She crushed the thought as soon as it surfaced though "Hanai! What do you think you're doing?"
"Stay right there!"
"A-Ah…" Even with Hanai's confidence and pose (that Mikoto had to admit was somewhat attractive) something inside the young girl refused it. She thought that it could be her feelings towards Kouso that made her reject the idea of dating Hanai but deep inside it was because she considered him more as a friend (maybe her best one) than anything else. And she was scared of losing that if they became a couple.
So Mikoto got in a stance and prepared to fend off Hanai in case he tried anything.
"Hanai! I'll say this only once. Don't you dare to…"
WHOOSH
Hanai run past her at an incredible speed leaving her behind.
"Hanai?"
And when Mikoto turned to see where her childhood friend had gone she found him…
"So… We meet again. You spawn of the lowest circle of hell!"
… Throwing threats to a red panda that was caged behind her.
"Oh yeah… I forgot that he was here." Said Mikoto while letting go the tension that she had accumulated due to her overactive imagination once she notice that Hanai's words weren't directed to her but to his nemesis. The cute and recently acquired Yagami's Zoo Chinese Red Panda, Kouta-kun.
For the life of her Mikoto couldn't know why she got so carried away like that. Maybe all those comments about Hanai and her being sweethearts from their friends and relatives was getting to her.
"I can't understand why you hate Kuota-kun so much. Can't you see how cute he is?" Said the junior high student to her friend while giving a sweet smile to the small mammal while it played to chase its own tail inside the cage.
"The most poisonous animals have the brightest colors Sou." Answered an arms crossed Hanai. "Don't let his childish and lovely appearance fool you."
"Ha! There it is! You said that he is lovely!"
"Of course that it's lovely… That doesn't mean that it isn't evil incarnate."
"I give up." Said Mikoto while walking away from the cage. "Do whatever you want, just don't drag me along if something bad happens."
"I'm a man capable enough to deal with my own business Suo!"
"Hai, hai, Mr. though guy. Just don't come crying to me later. And I'm telling you now, if you drag the zoo authorities again I'll pretend that I don't know you." Said the blue haired student while walking to next exhibit. "I have no time to deal with your childish obsessions I have my own troubles to deal… with…"
Mikoto stopped dead on her tracks. In front of her, looking in a melancholic way to the new giraffe in the zoo (one of Harima's former pets, Pyotr if Mikoto remembered correctly) was a young girl with blond twin tails and elegant clothes.
'Eh? What was that?' thought Mikoto. 'Why did I felt like that so suddenly? I don't remember having met a girl like that in my life! However I feel like I just met an old friend. A very close one at that… Argh! What's going on with me! What are these strange feelings that I'm having so often lately?! I've never been a complex person and I've always hated complicated stuff!'
While Mikoto's mind was a whirlwind of complicated stuff (the kind that she hates) the golden haired girl noticed her and walked towards the suffering girl.
"Are you OK?"
"WHAAA!" Mikoto screamed at the sudden question and close proximity of the girl she was fussing about.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" the golden haired girl screamed in answer to Mikoto's reaction.
"WHY ARE YOU YELLING TO ME?" Screamed Mikoto.
"BECAUSE YOU YELLED TO ME FIRST!" Screamed back the other girl.
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU SCARED ME!"
"HOW COULD I SCARE YOU?"
"YOU WERE OVER THERE AND SUDDENLY YOU ARE HERE TALKING TO ME!"
"YOU WERE ACTING STRANGE AND I WANTED TO KNOW IF I COULD HELP YOU!"
"AND WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO A PERFECT STRANGER?!"
"I WAS TRYING TO BE NICE!"
"Excuse me ladies."
"WHAT!"
"Ah… Excuse me..." the guy that had interrupted the fight (a certain Nara Kentaro) was using an animal suit (a monkey disguise to be exact) that at first glance was too big for him (obviously a poor excuse for an uniform), which helped little to inspire respect as a Zoo employee (which he was) but never the less, since part of his responsibilities was to stop any altercations that might happen in the zoo (and two young girls screaming at each other fit that criteria) the little guy had to at least to try to stop the discussion. "… Is there anything troubling you?"
Yeah. Strong presence and skills at diffusing angry people was something that Nara Kentaro sorely lacked.
"Eh?" Both girls said in an incredulous way at the same time (in the 'what the hell do you care?' kind) at the weird dressed individual.
"Well…" the boy named Nara was even more uncomfortable at being stared by these two girls. "… It's just… you're screaming so loud... and I thought that… maybe… you needed some… help…" the teenager even looked apologetically to them at this point. "… Am I wrong?"
Once the un-intimidating little monkey had called their attention with his pitiful remarks they noticed that they were drawing unwanted attention. In other words, they were making a show of themselves.
Both girls had the decency to blush.
"Uh…" Mikoto looked aside in shame. "… No, everything is fine. I just was surprised. That's all."
"Ahem." The golden haired girl cleared her throat but still sported a healthy blush. "I was the same. I guess I over reacted a little bit."
Nara sweat dropped and sighed at the same time. But his relief was greater than anything else at this point. Truth to be told, girls like them scared the bejesus out of him. He preferred more down to earth and friendly girls.
"That's fine. Just let me know if I can be of some help." And with that the little monkey went away.
"Sorry about that." Said the golden haired girl to Mikoto.
"No, no, if somebody has to apologize is me." Said the taller girl.
"Still, it was rude of me…" Insisted the other female.
"But it was I the one that over reacted…" Said the blue haired teenager a little annoyed.
"Even so. It just wasn't proper…" Said the blonde with a visible tick in her forehead.
"I SAID I'M SORRY DAMN IT!"
"I AM SAYING THE SAME THING TO YOU BIG OAF! THAT I'M SORRY!"
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OAF?!"
"TO YOU GOD DAMN IT! ARE YOU DEAF?!"
"Ladies…"
"WHAT?!"
Nara flinched. He truly believed that if he said something, anything, wrong to these two then this would be his last day among the living.
"You are doing it again…" Said Nara almost in tears.
"Oh." Said both girls at the same time once again.
They looked at each other for a moment and with a brighter blush than before they bowed at a perfect 90 degrees angle in front of Nara and said…
"Sorry!"
"I-its fine…" Said an already retreating Nara. "Enjoy your day at the Yagami Zoo."
And with that the little monkey ran away leaving a cloud of dust behind him. He would just rather just deal with the crazy glasses guy and his obsession with Kuota-kun which by the way was have an intense staring contest with said Red Panda at that very moment never noticing the issues of his childhood friend. It seems that Nara will have to return to deal with him anyway.
The girls looked at cloud of dust in silence until it dissipated. And then…
"Pfft Ha, ha, ha!" Mikoto began to laugh noisily.
"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?" Said the, now obviously, short tempered blonde.
"Nothing. It's just that at first sight it didn't seem like you had that kind of character."
"Ah! Eh…" The girl was blushing once again.
"That's fine. For what's worth I like it." Said the kempo practitioner with a smile. "Let´s start over. I'm Mikoto, Sou Mikoto."
The other girl was confused first but soon she smiled too and introduced herself.
"Sawachika Eri. Nice to meet you."
"Crap!, crap! And double crap!" Said, among other colorful expletives, a muffled voice from some nearby bushes.
"I knew I should have gone away as soon as I saw Ojou here. Now Sou is here too! And, is that four eyes making faces to a red panda over there? Triple crap! What I'm going to do?"
Harima Kenji was having one of those days. He decided that, since it was his birthday and he couldn't spend it with his dear Teanma-chan he could always go and see the guys at the Zoo but, as usual with him lately, this only meant that he had some unwanted encounters.
So far Harima had avoided the encounters by using his bright, sharp and quick mind in order to create a foolproof plan to avoid being seen.
He dove into the nearby bushes.
It was never said that it was a good plan.
Never the less so far he had avoided being seen. The problem lied in that the bush was kind of small making it particularly uncomfortable for a guy his frame.
It seems that his bright, sharp and quick mind forgot to take that in consideration.
It also seems to have forgotten to consider the factor time in his foolproof plan as in wondering for how long those particular individuals would be in the close proximity to his hiding spot.
In other words Harima forgot to consider when the hell those accursed guys would just leave.
Not soon it seems.
"Damn it! How long I've been here? It feels like it has been 347 days!"
Harima thought about that for a moment.
"Uh? Where did that number come from? Ah who cares! What I want to know is how long I've been here!"
Harima checked his wrist watch and cursed to the heavens.
"ONE HOUR?! I'VE BEEN HERE FOR ONE DAMN HOUR?! WHAT THE HELL?!"
"You heard something?" Said Mikoto to Eri.
"I think I did, yes…"
"Urk!" Harima brought his hands towards his mouth forgetting that in the movement he made the bush jiggle and hurting his arms in the process. He even shoved some branches and leaves into his mouth during the process.
Anybody that ended up with a mouthful of greenery in these kind situations would have learned his lesson and keep his/her mouth closed when hiding in a bush.
Only time will tell if Harima was one of those. For the time being all his mental process was focused in the reactions of the pair in close proximity.
"It sounded like…" Harima was sweating bullets while waiting for them to finish the phrase fearing the worst.
"… A monkey." Said both of them at the same time.
"WHEM FHE GELL RRE TOU CHAYING AF MNFEIY" Said the monkey of this story while stupidly jumping out of his hiding spot.
What Harima tried to say was: "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A MONKEY!" but the mouthful of bush branches and leaves affected his diction in a way that, oddly, made him sound as a monkey.
A monkey chewing a mouthful of greenery but a monkey never the less.
The words (or garble, take your pick) had barely came out of his mouth when Harima realized how stupid it was to jump out of his hiding spot and yell to the people that he was trying to hide from.
However his bright, sharp and quick mind had already developed a counter plan.
He hid behind a tree.
Yes ladies and gentlemen. That's Harima's brain at its best.
"What was that?" Asked Eri to Mikoto. They had turned their attention to where they heard the yell come from only to find the source of the noise (Harima) had already hidden himself again.
They could still see some bushes still jiggling around due to recent movement thought.
"No idea. Maybe a monkey escaped from his cage and is jumping around." Said Mikoto once she noticed some recent broken twigs and still falling leaves.
"Isn't it dangerous?" asked a slightly worried Eri.
"Nah, if there were anything wrong they would have notified the public through the sound system." Said the taller girl while pointing to the speaker in a nearby pole. "I bet that is only a stupid monkey that can't even swing properly from tree to tree."
"You're right!" Said a cheerful Eri. "That sounded just like a monkey throwing a tantrum because he crashed against a bush!"
"It does! Doesn't it?"
Harima's decided just to swallow his curses before they came to any nearby ears. He also swallowed the branches and leaves that were still in his mouth while ignoring the pain that his throat and stomach felt and just wondering for how long he would have to tolerate those insults.
"I TELL YOU HE IS EVIL! WHY CAN'T YOU BELIEVE ME?"
And from a nearby exhibit a chance to escape was provided in the form of Hanai Haruki discussing with a disguised Zoo employee named Nara Kentaro.
"Sir, please, don't yell. You're scaring the children."
"I AM WARNING THEM! THEY SHOULD STAY CLEAR FROM THIS DEMON IN RED FUR! LOOK HOW HE IS PREPARING TO ATTACK!"
"He is just hiding because you're yelling too much."
"HE ISN'T! HE IS PREPARING A SURPRISE ATTACK! I SWEAR!"
"Who's that crazy guy?" Asked Eri to her companion.
"He is just a guy who hates animals. Don't worry about him. He deserves what is coming to him." Said Mikoto while trying to move Eri away from her childhood friend. She felt that whatever trouble he might be getting from the zoo authorities it wasn't something that Hanai couldn't handle. Why, it might even do him some good in order for him to learn to avoid making a spectacle of himself in a public area.
The fact that Hanai didn't help Mikoto when the same Zoo employee was admonishing her due to a similar situation just a few moments ago didn't had anything to do in the matter. Not in the least.
And her smile wasn't proof of that. No sir.
"Why don't we go to the food court to eat something? I'm starving!" Finished Mikoto while taking Eri to said place.
"O.k. Let's go." Said the half British while following her companion.
'This is it!' Thought Harima while leaving the tree and running towards the exit. 'Now I only have to run a few meters and I'll be free… WHOA!'
Harima had almost crashed due to a cardboard box that was just lying around close to the tree where he was hiding.
'Who's the animal that just leaves a cardboard box lying around? Somebody could trip over it and get hurt! Hell! I almost broke my neck because of it!'
When Harima turned in order to, in his own words, kick it to kingdom come, the box was gone.
'What the… Was it my imagination? Ah, who cares? I have other things to worry about!'
And with that Harima ran away again without noticing that the very same cardboard box was situated just next where he had been standing.
Meanwhile, back to the Pyotr exhibit another disguised individual was paying close attention to Harima's actions.
"His stealth skills are very lacking. Although he wasn't discovered." Said the individual inside his animal costume. "I'll follow him and see what else he does. His grade however is too low at this point. I guess he won't get that mission that agent T had been asking him for. Unless he performs some radical changes during the rest of the day to convince me otherwise."
And with that the man in the Bonta-kun costume began to walk towards the entrance while chanting…
"Fumoffu!"
"Phew! I'm finally out!" Said Harima while walking away from the Zoo entrance. "Sorry guys for not being with you in my birthday but, when people like that are inside, there isn't force in existence that would make go there! Never! Not even in a million years! Or a Billion! There isn't a single thing or person in heaven or hell that will make me go inside!"
"Karasuma-kun! Over here!"
Harima had gone into hiding as soon as he heard that melodic and sweet voice. A voice that no illusion in hell or angelic chorus in heaven could hope to imitate.
"Nee-san, don't run so fast you'll trip."
"WHOA!"
And true to her younger sister words Tsukamoto Tenma tripped but her forceful meeting with the ground was interrupted by the arms of a thin young man.
"Are you o.k. Tsukamoto-san?" Asked Karasuma Ooji to the clumsy girl in her arms.
POOF
Steam came out of the older (and red faced) Tsukamoto ears as soon as she noticed who was holding her.
"Tsukamoto-san? Are you ill? Maybe it would be better to take you back home?"
"NO!" Said Tenma while jumping to her feet. "I'm fine! Let's go Karasuma-kun!"
"If you say so Tsukamoto-san."
"Nee-san…" Said the younger Tsukamato once she saw her older sister take Karasuma's arm and enter the zoo.
"Come on Yakumo. Let's enter too." Said Sarah Adiemus to her friend. "Maybe 'He' is there today."
Yakumo blushed and, along with her British friend, entered the zoo after the older couple.
After being witness to such exchange while half hidden by a tree (Harima's seems to have a tendency to hide behind trees) he blinked a couple of times and began to walk towards the entrance.
"I thought that you weren't going back there."
"If a man saw the girl that he loves dangling from the arm of his rival and do nothing then that man is dead."
"I don't know if that's a very stupid or a very brave thing to do."
"And what the hell do you care?!" Said Harima while turning in order to face his interlocutor…
"Eh? What the…"
… Only to find a cardboard box.
"Wait a minute. Isn't this the same cardboard box that almost made me trip when I was running away?"
"Hmm. So you noticed that. I guess you aren't such a lost cause after all." Said the voice from the cardboard box. "Did you also notice that somebody has been tailing you?"
"Eh? You?" Said Harima while pointing to the cardboard box.
"I'm not talking about me."
"Eh… No. Unless you count those annoying people whom I've been trying to avoid."
"No. It isn't any them either." Said the voice with a sigh. "I guess you're really green. But if you have the guts to go back there, even with your weak skills, I guess you deserve some assistance."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I'm saying that I've decided to give you a hand. Don't expect too much thought."
"Why the hell would I accept the help from some weirdo in a cardboard box?"
"Because I've been sent here by somebody that we both know. It's a weird fella that calls himself the god of space and time."
"He sent you?"
"I guess you could say that."
"Wait a minute. Who the hell are you?"
"Well, you can call me…"
The cardboard box was put aside and an old man in a black suit and tie with gray hair, mustache and a horrendous scar on the left side of his face emerged.
"Plissken... Bob Plissken."
# 14 …. Fin