Chapter Fourteen

Bella

I was feeling Jasper's absence more each day and wondered how much longer I could cope with it. In contrast, Charlie was happy he was gone and tried everything to get me involved with Mike, Jake, in fact in desperation he even suggested I speak to Edward! I think my expression told him what I thought of that idea.

I went to school, came home, did my homework and chores, then spent the evening on the phone with Jasper. Charlie couldn't complain, he wasn't paying for the calls. Jasper told me he was helping two of his friends build a new house on a plot of land they'd just purchased. I must have sounded depressed despite trying really hard to appear upbeat because Jasper suddenly announced he was coming back to Forks.

I couldn't hide my excitement at that news.

"Really?"

"Yes. This is going to sound very strange to you, but I don't think I can bear to be away from you any longer."

"Me too," I whispered.

There was a long silence and I thought for a moment that the connection had been lost.

"Jasper?"

"Yes, Bella. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I was just surprised by your words. I miss you too, I can't think straight and my chest hurts. I have no idea what's happening to me, but I know I'll feel better when you get back."

"I'll be back by this weekend, Bella."

"OK. I miss you."

"Bye, Bella."

As he cut the connection I swore I heard 'I love you', but it could have come from me.

At school the next day I made a point of grabbing Alice at the first opportunity.

"He's coming back."

She smiled, "When?"

"This weekend, Alice".

"You look happy about that. Does Charlie know yet?"

I groaned, "No, and he won't be happy but I can't cope without him. Alice, what's happening to me?"

She pulled me out to the car park and unlocked her car.

"Quick, Bella, get in!"

I jumped in and she took off.

"What are you doing Alice? It's the middle of the day. I've got classes."

She scowled at me.

"Just wait a few minutes, Bella, and I'll explain everything."

She pulled up in a clearing deep in the woods near her house then turned and took my hand.

"Tell me what you mean, what you are feeling."

I reddened but she sighed,

"Bella, get over it and tell me."

I leaned back and closed my eyes.

"Since I first met him I can't get Jasper out of my mind. Awake or asleep he's there. I feel happy, contented, safe when he's with me or even near. Since he's been away I don't seem to be able to concentrate on anything, nothing matters anymore. It's a struggle just to get through every day. The only time it stops hurting is when I'm on the phone with him. Then the pain in my chest eases, I can breathe and think. Then he's gone and the pain comes back, only it's worse every time. I lay awake all night, I can't sleep, or read, or anything. I have no idea what's happening to me. I've never felt like this, not even when I first met Edward. Alice, I think I'm going mad."

Alice

I heard what Bella said and I knew what I'd seen was right.

"Bella, this is really difficult to explain so bear with me. I saw all this many years ago, long before you were even born. I saw what was coming and I tried to help, to help him."

She looked at me puzzled.

"Saw what Alice? Has this got something to do with what you told me? How you nearly met Jasper once?"

I nodded.

"Yes. I saw his future, my future, and how they could be linked."

I watched and sure enough, Bella looked annoyed, just more proof that I was right.

"I saw you and Jasper together and I saw two alternatives for his journey to find you. In one he met me and I helped him over the years of waiting. The other was a long, hard, and pain filled wait. I tried to meet him. I waited for him in Philadelphia, but it was his decision to make and he chose the other path."

"But it always led to me?"

"Yes, Bella it always led to you. I watched his future and every choice he made, everywhere he went, still led him to you. You were his ultimate destination."

"Alice, I know I'm not thick but you aren't making a lot of sense."

"I know Bella, but I will. When we came to Forks I knew the time was close. I recognized you when you arrived and I knew he wouldn't be far behind. When you fell for my brother I thought I'd missed something and I looked at him again, but I hadn't been wrong, he was still coming here. You would still meet, eventually. I looked at your future and it too hadn't altered. Edward was just a side-show. That's why I tried to be your friend because you were going to need me. Bella, I want you to listen really carefully to what I'm going to tell you. This is your last chance to change the future. Your next decision will set your future in stone. You have to decide what you want from life. What you want to do, where you want to go. You are making the most important decision of your life right now."

"Alice, for God's sake stop talking in riddles. I feel more confused now than I did when we started."

Bella

Some of what Alice said made sense, but most just left me with more questions.

"Alice, what decision?"

She looked at me and for the first time, it dawned on me that she was in deadly earnest.

"Bella, you have two possible paths left open in your life. One of which leads to our life, the other to a human life. You've told me how you feel and I'm sure you're telling me the truth, but I want you to do something for me. Something you are not going to like, but I need you to do it before I can tell you the rest."

"OK, Alice. What do you want me to do?"

She hesitated, "Alice," I was getting angry now.

"Bella, I want you to go on a date with Jacob Black."

"WHAT?"

I was shocked to hear her suggest this.

She pulled a face.

"I warned you that you wouldn't like it."

"You're right about that. Why would I want to go out with Jake?"

"Bella, calm down. I want you to go out on a date with Jake, or one of the boys at school, you choose, but it has to be before the weekend."

"Why?"

"I just want you to do it, then we'll speak again."

I was livid with her.

"If this is a joke, I'm not laughing Alice."

She shook her head and started the car.

"You go on a date and I'll tell you the rest. You have to, or you'll never know, Bella."

"Know what exactly, Alice?"

She never spoke again all the way back to school and I got out slamming the door and storming back into lessons. I did, however, think about what she said during the afternoon earning several reprimands from teachers. She seemed to think it was important that I do this. So, with some reservations, I steeled myself and rang Jake.

"Bella? What's up? Why are you calling?"

I took a deep breath and jumped in.

"Hi Jake, there's a good film on at the cinema and I wondered if you wanted to go?"

He was silent and I didn't blame him. I hadn't spoken to him for ages and the last time I did I thought I'd probably told him to drop dead.

"OK, Bella. I'll pick you up from school tomorrow and we'll eat out before the film."

I agreed and put the phone down already sure it was a mistake.

I did my homework and made Charlie dinner then braced myself and told him I was going out with Jake. He couldn't have been happier.

A great idea, Bella. Don't you worry about me, I'll eat out at the diner."

Retreating from the sight of his smug smile I went upstairs and finished my homework then my phone rang and I answered it eagerly knowing it would be Jasper.

"Hi there beautiful. How was your day?"

"Lonely, how was yours?"

"Nearly finished. I'll be back in Forks by Friday."

We chatted until long after midnight and when I said goodnight I thought I heard those words again.

"I love you," but I still didn't know who had said them.

I stayed away from Alice the next day, I couldn't bear the thought of her coming up with any more tricks she wanted me to perform and she seemed to know how I felt because I hardly saw her at all.

Jake was waiting by my truck at the end of the day and as I walked over he pushed himself off and came over to give me a hug.

"Glad you rang, Bells. I've missed you."

Over his shoulder, I saw Edward glaring at me. Great! I thought although it didn't really bother me.

In Jake's arms, I felt nothing, no warmth, no fast heartbeat, and the hole in my chest ached just as much as ever. I had decided I would do my best to be nice to Jake seeing as I'd been the one to suggest this so I chatted away about school and life in general as we drove to Port Angeles. Jake took me to an Italian restaurant for dinner and I tried to enjoy myself but it was hard work. He took my hand as we walked to the cinema and it contrasted strongly with the last time I walked hand in hand with a guy. That time it was with Jasper and the memory of his cold hand in mine played over and over in my head.

We sat through the film, which although I'd wanted to see it, I had no idea of what had happened when it was over. Jake had put his arm around me in the cinema and in the truck on the way home he pulled me close. It all felt so wrong, Jake was too hot, too close, he was the wrong person.

When we got back he insisted on coming in and spoke to Charlie who resembled the Cheshire Cat. He even stole a kiss before leaving which I felt was going too far but I couldn't really make a scene.

Instead, I ran up to the bathroom and scrubbed my hands and face, especially my lips, trying to get the feel of Jake from my body. Then I went to bed taking my phone with me but feeling too guilty to ring Jasper despite being desperate to hear his voice.

As I lay in the darkness, tears falling onto my pillow, I felt the phone vibrate. I picked it up and read the message,

"If you feel how I think you do, ring him. Alice x

I wiped the sweat from my hands and tears from my face then braced myself and pressed his number.

It was answered immediately as if he'd been waiting, phone in hand.

"Hello, Bella, I thought you weren't going to call."

"Sorry, I'm so late."

"You've been crying."

"Yes. I miss you so much, Jasper."

"But that's not why you've been crying."

That stopped me in my tracks, how did he know?

"Yes, it is actually."

"Tell me," he whispered and I found myself pouring my heart out to him.

I told him about my conversation with Alice and what she'd asked me to do. When I finished there was a long frightening silence and then I heard his voice again.

"Do you still want me to come back?"

I could hear the hurt in his voice and cursed Alice.

"YES!"

That was one thing I was sure of.

"You should talk to Alice first, then ring me again."

"I will and Jasper. I'm sorry I did what Alice asked. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I'll be waiting to hear from you, Bella."

I still felt miserable and didn't sleep a wink all night. Luckily Charlie was on an early shift so I didn't have to avoid any awkward questions from him.

I drove straight to school and went looking for Alice. When I found her I grabbed her and marched her out to the parking lot.

"We're missing classes again this morning, Alice. I want to hear the rest of your story and it better be good."

She drove to the same clearing and parked up with that annoying grin on her face. I felt like slapping it off but I controlled myself.

"Right, start talking, Alice."

"How do you feel Bella?"

"Like shit. Happy?"

To my frustration, she smiled and nodded.

"Did you speak to him last night?"

"Yes, I did and I felt awful."

"How did you feel going out with Jake?"

"Miserable. I spent the whole time comparing him with Jasper." then it struck me. "That's exactly what you expected isn't it, Alice?"

"Yes, Bella, and whose side did you come down on?"

I glared, "Does the fact I cried nearly all night tell you something, Alice?"

"Yes, Bella, it does. Do you still have that pain in your chest?"

"Yes, only now thanks to your little fiasco, it hurts even worse."

"Good. That tells me everything I needed to know. Bella, you are in love with Jasper, but more than that, he's your mate."

"Alice, if you don't start speaking in a language I can understand I'm going to poke your eyes out."

She laughed her annoying silvery laugh and continued.

"I saw your future and the Major's, they were the same. You two are meant for each other. You can't love anyone else now you've met him. No one else will ever compare with him. You need him like air and water. Life without him doesn't mean anything and every day you are apart is agony, which only gets worse and worse. You feel if you don't see him soon your heart will shatter, your lungs stop taking in air. Stop me if I'm wrong."

I didn't stop her, she was right on the button.

"In our world that's the feeling you get when you've found your true mate, your other half. The one that makes you complete, that makes life meaningful. It's how you feel and it's how he feels too. He's suffering as much as you and he's got no one to explain it all to him. I bet he's told you that he doesn't understand what he's feeling."

I nodded.

"I knew it. What did he say to you last night?"

"I told him what you'd told me and your crazy condition for telling me the rest."

"So he knows you went out with Jake, what did he say?"

I glared at her, "What do you think?"

"I don't know Bella, why don't you enlighten me."

I sighed if she thought I was going to give her a blow by blow account of my conversation she was about to be very disappointed.

"He asked me to ring him after I spoke to you today. He wanted to know if I wanted him to come back and I said yes."

She waited expectantly but I just shook my head and she sighed.

"You're no fun, Bella. Anyhow, neither of you will survive without the other. Now, I know you told Charlie you'd finish school but you need to be together and he can't stay here. He needs to be away from the Cullens and Charlie and you have to go with him and start a life together, Bella. If you want to stay he will, but it will be a disaster."

"You've seen this?"

"Yes."

"I have to make a phone call, Alice."

I got out of the car and walked into the trees, I guessed Alice could still hear me but I was past caring.

"Hello, Bella. Have you spoken to Alice?"

"Yes, I'm with her now. I want you to come and get me."

"Are you sure, Bella? Charlie won't be happy."

"I don't care, Jasper. I know what I want, what I need. I need you, I love you, Jasper. No, I more than love you."

There was silence on the line and I thought I'd got it all wrong. The pain in my chest flared up and I doubled over with a gasp.

He must have heard me because I heard the concern in his voice when he spoke.

"Bella, what's wrong?"

I couldn't speak, tears were falling again. I'd made a complete fool of myself and the phone fell to the ground as I hugged myself.

"Bella. Can you hear me?"

A hand-picked the phone up and I heard Alice's voice.

"It's Alice, Major. I think Bella's having a panic attack. She thinks she's made a complete idiot of herself."

"Why?"

"Well, this is just a stab in the dark, but I think you took too long to answer."

"Put the phone to her ear, Alice."

I felt the cold plastic against my ear.

"Bella, I hope you can hear me darlin', I'm leaving today."

I didn't hear anything else, I didn't need to and I was too busy throwing up in my relief.