I owe you guys such a big apology it isn't even funny. I'm so so so terribly sorry I was gone for so long. It's not fair to you guys to leave you hanging and I'm actually really scared to upload this because I'm terrified of the amount of people that have probably abandoned the story :c I promise to be better. I've already started working on the next chapter. It'll be up in a few days. I swear I'm gonna be the best author to you guys if you will just stay with me, please :C.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!
Warning: Language and violence.
The feeling was indescribable. He felt strangely detached, like he was merely watching a movie. Through his veins a curious numbness crept, blocking off any emotions or thoughts.
"What the hell?" Sasuke heard Gaara mutter; he sounded like he was miles away.
Sasuke felt like he had plunged into an ice cold river- he felt completely numb. He could feel something bubbling in his chest, but in his disoriented state, he couldn't decipher what emotion it was. As he stared, Sasuke realized- in mute horror- that he could see everything; every single, little detail. He could see the way the man's jeans wrinkled as he straddled Naruto, the stark contrast between Naruto's and the man's skin color as the stranger's pale hands cupped Naruto's tan face. Sasuke's eyes-as if they had their own wills- devoured the sight; the way Naruto's tan hands gripped the sheets, the way Naruto was completely frozen, the sounds of Naruto's and the man's breathing; they traced over the man's jawline as he titled his head, deepening the kiss.
'Kiss.' Sasuke echoed, trying to get himself to feel angry, to feel anything, 'Someone is kissing Naruto. My Naruto.'
'But he isn't yours, is he?' A cruel voice whispered to Sasuke. 'You know that now. There's nothing you can do.'
The thought made Sasuke's stomach twist painfully. He took a deep, shuddering breath and swallowed. Looking down, he was stuck with the desperate thought that- for the first time in a long time, since he was kid maybe- Sasuke had absolutely no idea what to do. But just as he began to grow frenzied, Gaara- as usual- stepped forward and saved the day.
"Get off of him." Gaara commanded dangerously and instantly Sasuke could feel everything, like someone had doused him suddenly with water and he registered that what he had been feeling bubbling in his chest wasn't desperation. It wasn't sadness. It wasn't confusion.
It was rage.
The emotions came rushing in so quickly it made Sasuke's head swim. It's possible that it was because of Sasuke's competitive/ jealous feelings towards Gaara and Naruto's relationship , but suddenly all Sasuke could think about was how it was so ridiculous that Gaara was the first to step forward, that Gaara was acting like more a boyfriend than Sasuke ever had. The anger blazed through his chest, adrenaline flooded his veins, and his heart was pounding in his ears.
'Why is he the one to step forward? Why is it always him to come to Naruto's aid?' Sasuke thought, clenching his jaw.
'You don't deserve him. He deserves a guy that acts like a boyfriend…like Gaara.' The same internal, sneaky voice whispered and Sasuke's anger rose.
'No, I don't deserve him, but that doesn't mean I won't have him.' Sasuke spat back, staring in anger at the scene before him, using it to rev himself up more.
'Oh? And how do you intend to 'have him'? Won't this man be a problem?' The coy voice replied; Sasuke could almost see the cruel grin on its face.
'Not for long.' Sasuke spat back, his skin sizzling with anger. He pushed past Gaara, realizing that his fists were shaking-badly. 'Good.' He thought, satisfied. If he was angry enough to shake, he was angry enough to win a fight.
His energy grew with every step and when Sasuke finally reached the bed, he was beyond ready to fight. Reaching out with his right hand, Sasuke grunted, giving the man a fierce shove- the contact sending electricity zapping up his arm. Sasuke was surprised, happy, and satisfied at the result.
The man went flying.
The way that the man landed- on his side on the hardwood floor- seemed stunningly violent and Sasuke was astounded that he had done it. Once landing on the floor it seemed the man's path wasn't over with and he began sliding towards the wall. Sasuke's eyes remained glued on the scene before him, not daring to look at Naruto- wary of what the blonde's expression would be. But, he could- just in his peripheral vision- see Naruto looking at him and he swelled with smugness; Naruto was looking at him.
Sasuke had no plan. He hadn't had a plan to begin with, but one thing he had intended to do was to beat the absolute crap out of the man on the floor before him; but, as he stepped forwards, Sasuke was flabbergasted to find himself turning to confront Naruto instead. Then he remembered that-just as he hadn't had a plan from the beginning- Sasuke also had had no control over anything.
Naruto was sitting up on his knees, arms puffed out the way guy's arms have a tendency to do when there's a fight; he looked poised, as if ready to jump at the slightest inclination that Sasuke was going to pursue the man. Naruto met Sasuke's eyes with a level of seriousness that Sasuke didn't know was possible for the happy blonde. Sasuke maintained eye contact, panting. He was curious about what had become of the man behind him, but he didn't dare look away and lose whatever contest they were having. After what felt like hours, Naruto let down his guard, staring up at Sasuke like he was a wild stranger.
"What the hell, man?" Naruto called, "what is wrong with you!"
Bristling at the tone in Naruto's voice, Sasuke straightened himself out and looked down at Naruto with his usual cold countenance.
"What do you mean what's wrong with me? What's wrong with you, idiot?"
Naruto's bright eyes widened with incredulity, head jerking back in disbelief. He slid off the bed, coming face to face with Sasuke.
Being this close to the blonde brought on an unexpected wave of jealousy and possessiveness for Sasuke. All he wanted to do was to grab Naruto, kiss him into a stupor, kiss any trace of that man off of his lips, and make him forget that anyone else even existed. His hands burned to touch Naruto, but he resisted, clenching his jaw as his eyes traced over the outline of Naruto's full lips.
"Me? You're asking about me?" Naruto's voice was once again reaching levels in volume that no human should ever be able to reach, "Don't try to pretend like you didn't just go fucking hulk for no reason."
Sasuke's brows furrowed and he ripped his stare away from Naruto's lips, raising one eyebrow in disbelief.
"'Go Hulk'?" he quoted, unimpressed, "I didn't realize you were twelve."
"And I didn't realize you were my fucking boyfriend!" Naruto shouted back, stepping forwards.
Sasuke's retort caught in his throat as Naruto's comeback caught him off guard. He schooled his face, staring at Naruto coldly with an unpleasant feeling twisting in his chest.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He snarled, stepping towards Naruto.
Their chests bumped, throwing Naruto momentarily off balance. After a few seconds of wind-milling his arms Naruto steadied himself and then- giving Sasuke a loathing glare- leaped forward and shoved him.
"That means that the only reason it would have made sense for you to come in here like a crazy person, would be if you were my boyfriend." Naruto called out, his blue eyes looked sharp as glass.
Sasuke allowed himself to step back a few paces to humor Naruto. He sent a frustrated glance to Gaara who stared back at him unhelpfully.
"Naruto, it's not like I'm the only one that was unhappy with the situation; didn't you hear Gaara tell him to 'get off'?" Sasuke reasoned, "You can't expect us to see you kissing a stranger and act like it's no big deal."
"God dammit!" Naruto yelled, fisting his hands in his hair then throwing them out towards Sasuke, "why on earth would that be a big deal though?"
Sasuke looked at Naruto in disbelief,
"Because, no matter how annoying you are, you're actually one of my best friends."
Naruto's eyebrows flew up and he gestured at Sasuke then to Gaara, frustrated.
"Gaara's just as big a friend as you are to me and he didn't race in here about to fight everyone! You don't have that right just because you're my friend!"
Then, suddenly, Sasuke was sick of everything. He was sick of dealing with Naruto's obliviousness, and he was sick of feeling like this.
"Well fuck, Naruto. Now that we're talking about 'rights', what right do you have to ignore me for a week just because you think you've figured something out?" Sasuke combatted sarcastically.
The effect was instantaneous. The fight went out of Naruto like someone had flicked a switch. Naruto stared at him, frozen, mind almost visibly racing; trying to find something to say back.
Sasuke waited, all too willing to let Naruto try to think of a way to get out of this. After a few seconds, Naruto straightened out from his hunched position and swallowed audibly. Naruto wet his lips, then brought a hand up to wipe them dry again.
"I'm sorry, what?" He finally asked, sounding dazed.
Sasuke looked at Naruto unsympathetically,
"You know what I said."
Naruto looked at him, a hint of desperation in his blue eyes and shook his head.
"I do, but I don't know what you mean."
Sasuke smirked inwardly, amused that Naruto was still managing to turn his questions back around on him.
"I believe you know what I meant as well, but I'll humor you." Sasuke started, feeling particularly nasty. "I mean that at some point after we brought your mattress home, you 'figured' something out and completely cut me off. It had to have been you because I went home that day thinking we were fine, in fact, that day, you reassured me that we were best friends. So what the fuck happened?"
Sasuke's question was met with silence, Naruto staring at him- looking very conflicted.
"Do you have any idea what that's like?" Sasuke asked, wanting to shake the blonde, to make him realize how worried and anxious he had made Sasuke, "do you know how terrible it is to suddenly be cut off from somebody for no reason!"
Naruto watched him, looking miserable.
"I do." He finally said.
Then Sasuke realized that Naruto did in fact know what that feeling was like. He had learned it months ago when he had come home to find his wife cheating on him with a stranger. The guilt alone was enough to force Sasuke to step back. He searched his mind for something to say, for something that would acknowledge Naruto's pain and be an apology at the same time.
"I…I know you do." He said lamely, looking down.
Naruto said nothing and nodded his head, also looking down at the ground
"If you know that feeling…. then why on earth would you do it to Sasuke?" Gaara called out.
Sasuke's head snapped up, he had almost forgotten about the stoic red-head. He was ecstatic for the break and was more than willing to let Gaara take control of the conversation for a bit. Naruto, for a few seconds, looked at Sasuke with a 'do you believe this guy?' expression on his face before realizing that Sasuke probably wasn't going to take his side. With an annoyed sigh Naruto turned to confront Gaara.
"Ok yes, but the feelings aren't the same. Mine was with someone that I was in love with and his was with his best friend!" Naruto defended, gesturing to Sasuke with one hand with the other pointing to his own chest.
Gaara furrowed his non-existent eyebrows, shaking his head. He walked closer to Sasuke and stood by his side, observing Naruto.
"That's not any better of an explanation; When you started ignoring him, it was because you thought he was in love with you, therefor you were subjecting him to the same level of feeling that you felt with Sakura."
Naruto flinched, looking pointedly from Gaara to Sasuke then back to Gaara. Sasuke, on the other hand, suppressed a snort and the urge to roll his eyes.
'Good old Gaara, Good old blunt, filter-less Gaara.'
"That's not- Gaara!" Naruto cried out, flustered.
Gaara glanced towards Naruto briefly, and then rolled his eyes, actually looking exasperated.
"Naruto, don't be a jerk. Tell us the truth, why did you start ignoring him? If it was because you thought he was in love with you, then you're a shit person for being a hypocrite." Gaara explained so coldly that even Sasuke flinched- mentally of course.
"I'm not a hypocrite!" Naruto exploded, face going red. "I'm just straight!"
Sasuke's breathe caught in his throat; a stabbing feeling pierced his chest. Could words cause this much pain? This dying, sinking pain?
'He's straight.' Sasuke thought despairingly, 'The first person I actually like and I don't have a chance in the world.'
The irony was torturous. He had once walked around thinking he could get anyone he wanted. That no one would be able to withstand his looks and his charm. But now, this simple, beautiful fool was toying with his feelings without even knowing that he was doing it,
"I don't believe you for a second." Gaara shot back, sounding amused.
Naruto jerked back, sending Sasuke a panicked glance.
"What?" He asked, his voice escalating a few octaves.
Sasuke watched, fascinated, as Gaara worked at tearing the truth out of Naruto.
"I said, I don't believe you," Gaara repeated slowly, walking towards the blonde, "Come on, how long are you gonna play this game? With as long as I've known you, you surely can't expect to fool me."
Naruto stumbled back, attempting to escape from Gaara. He turned to face Sasuke and for one wild second Sasuke thought that Naruto was about to jump into his arms. Then Naruto came to his senses and turned back to face Gaara- backing up until he bumped against the nightstand.
"What are you talking about! I'm straight!" Naruto protested wildly.
Gaara immediately let up, raising his hands- signaling surrender.
"Fine, I believe you. You're straight. But, if you're the decent person that I know you are, you'll give Sasuke a proper rejection." Gaara reached out and grabbed Naruto's shoulders, turning him to face Sasuke, "just look him in the eyes and say, 'Sasuke, I'm straight and there's no chance of me ever loving you'."
Sasuke sent Gaara a disbelieving glare. Gaara held a finger to his lips, nodding towards Naruto- signaling Sasuke to watch the blonde.
Naruto had never looked smaller than he did as he stared at Sasuke, eyes wide and seemingly staring through him. Even now, after hearing that confession, Sasuke found that when he looked at Naruto, all of the feelings were still there; he still wanted to hold him, to kiss him, to love him. Feeling these emotions brought on the stabbing pain again- Sasuke grunted, slapping his hand to his chest reflexively.
It hurt to look at Naruto.
Sasuke looked away, refusing to meet Naruto's eyes. Out of the corner of his eyes, Sasuke could see Naruto's hand clenching and unclenching. He was disgusted with himself, that he still felt feelings towards Naruto even after hearing his rejection.
Finally the curiosity got to be too much and Sasuke glanced at him briefly, finding Naruto looking heartbreakingly confused and torn. Sasuke immediately wanted to draw him closer and comfort him. Once again disgusted, he looked away. But this was apparently too much for the blonde.
"Why do you keep looking away?" He asked voice shaky.
Sasuke stiffened, glancing at Gaara then Naruto.
"Me?" He asked, surprised.
Naruto nodded, tan hands gripping each other tightly.
"Why do you think? He's waiting for you to reject him." Gaara explained quietly, hands gripping Naruto's shoulders.
Naruto's eyes flashed to Sasuke's- trying to make eye contact- but Sasuke avoided them; if he was going to get rejected, he needed to start hardening himself now.
"So I was right," Naruto said, surprisingly steady sounding, "you do like me."
Sasuke said nothing and Naruto didn't press for an answer. Sasuke waited with baited breathe for Naruto to say something- anything- but when nothing came, Sasuke peeked up at Naruto. Naruto was staring at him, with an expression like no other Sasuke had ever seen. It was strange enough, that despite his best interest, Sasuke had to say or do something to snap the blonde out of it.
Unsure of how to start, Sasuke shuffled forward and then decided against it and went back to his original position. He struggled for words, stuck in an awkward moment of wanting to say something but not being able to articulate anything.
"….Naruto?" Sasuke offered cautiously.
Naruto stiffened, looking at Sasuke with wide eyes. His odd expression slowly melted into one of tortured confliction. Slowly, as if it was painful, Naruto raised his hands and covered his eyes, rubbing slowly as if to get rid of a headache.
"Oh god, what is this." He moaned.
"You're wasting too much time, go on, reject him!" Gaara pressed, speaking in low tones, "look in his eyes and tell him that you'll never love him!"
From behind his eyes Naruto shook his head,
"I can't..." He said quietly, sounding like a child.
"Why not, Naruto?" Gaara asked, though Sasuke had a feeling that Gaara already knew.
"We started out as acquaintances. The very first day I met you, I thought you were a complete asshole cause you glared at me in my restaurant." Sasuke snorted at the memory. "Then you introduced yourself as my lawyer. Then that night you called me and for some reason I blurted out that I was lonely and for some reason….." Naruto took his hands from his eyes to look at Sasuke, "you came over."
"The visits were never a chore, even when we were just acquaintances, but soon I found myself looking forward to them. I found myself looking at things and thinking, 'that'd make Sasuke laugh'. Or doing things and knowing that- had you been there- you would have called me a complete idiot. Just all the sudden you were in my head, 24/7."
Unexpectedly, a clapping sound emerged over the tense silence. Sasuke and Gaara turned around, searching for the source, and found the man, standing and looking impossibly elegant even though he had been thrown off a bed earlier. Sasuke willed himself to feel angry, but he was so emotionally invested in what was happening, he didn't have the energy to care; so he stood there and let the raven-haired man finish clapping.
"Oh, Naruto. Simple, simple Naruto." The man started, flashing everyone a charming smile.
Sasuke regarded him suspiciously as he began to walk towards the bed but didn't move out of his way. The man glanced at Sasuke approvingly, nodding to himself, and then settled into place right beside Sasuke.
"That would have been a wonderful speech; if Sasuke's poor heart wasn't hanging in the balance."
Then, before Sasuke could react, the man reached over and wrapped a long arm around his shoulders, pulling Sasuke towards his torso. Sasuke recoiled violently, twisting out of his grip and stumbling away-giving the man his most dangerous glare. The man leaned back, observing Sasuke regretfully.
"Too soon?" He asked, not sounding at all sorry.
Sasuke wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, feeling disgusted at the contact.
"Any time will be too soon. Don't you ever touch me again."
Sasuke's warning was met with a blank stare and after a minute the man turned away, nodding at Naruto confidently.
"It's too soon." He whispered to the blonde from behind his hand, like Sasuke wasn't three inches away and couldn't hear him.
Naruto groaned, throwing his head in his hands. Sasuke scowled, stepping forwards and pointing at the man.
"Didn't you hear me? I said don't ever touch me. There will never be a time where it's not too soo-…"
"What answer did that heartfelt speech give us? No answer." The man moved on, completely cutting Sasuke off and ignoring him, "so let me at least ask you this. What is your response to my question that I asked before we were so rudely interrupted?"
Sasuke watched in disbelief as the raven peeked over his shoulder at him and glared-actually glared at him! Sasuke glared back; the way that this man was immune to the infamous 'Uchiha- death glare' was unnerving.
"Who are you?" Gaara asked finally, sounding totally fascinated by this new, odd specimen that had appeared. "What question?"
The man threw a confused look over his shoulder which gave way to a look of recognition once his eyes locked on Gaara.
"Well hey there, Elmo! Long time, no see! You can call me….Weasel."
They sat on the floor, the entire bedroom in disarray. The bed, which they had made up so nicely earlier that week, was completely bare- the sheets stripped off and thrown about the room. The four men sat in different corners of the room- coupled together; Sasuke crouched over Gaara, a protective hand draped over the red-heads thigh as he stared at the men on the opposite corner. Naruto sat with the stra-…weasel; a restraining arm held across his chest and he looked back at Sasuke. Everyone was breathing heavily.
As soon as Sasuke heard the word 'elmo' come out of Weasel's mouth, he knew that it wasn't going to end well for any of them. He had already started to turn, to hold Gaara back, when he was pushed out of the way by the furious Gaara. Gaara had delivered a brutal punch to the man's temple, causing Weasel to fall back onto the bedside table. Naruto had cried out, diving for Gaara at the same time Sasuke did; they both noticed each other and stopped, not wanting to make contact, and Gaara took the opportunity to continue wailing on Weasel.
"Gaara!" Sasuke had yelled, forgoing all hesitations about touching Naruto and dove forwards, dipping his arms around Gaara's torso from under his arms.
He pulled, but Gaara had grabbed hold of the man's jacket, dragging Weasel with them.
"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled, flashing a desperate look at the stunned blonde.
Naruto immediately went into action, jumping in-between Weasel and Gaara and went to work on unlacing Gaara's fingers from Weasel's shirt.
"Gaara! Let him go!" Naruto ordered.
"Fuck you!" Gaara retorted, letting go of Weasel only to push Naruto out of the way.
"Hey!" Sasuke shouted, managing to save Naruto from falling by grabbing his arm.
Naruto caught his balance with one hand on the floor and then used Sasuke as an anchor to pull himself up. They didn't even look at each other; once Naruto was steady they continued to struggle to tear the fighting men apart.
"Why are you mad?" Weasel shrieked, grabbing at Naruto, trying to pull himself away.
Gaara hadn't answered, but continued his barrage of punches and kicks.
Finally after a few more minutes of struggle, Naruto had wrapped his arms around Weasel's waist and yelled,
"Pull!"
He and Sasuke had managed to pull the men apart. Sasuke immediately released Gaara, swiveling around him so that he and Gaara were face to face and pushed the red-head back against the far opposite side of the room. When they reached the wall Sasuke forced Gaara to sit down, and then kneeled over him. He looked over his shoulder and found Naruto doing the same thing.
So here they were, looking at each other. What now?
"So," Weasel started, still thoroughly out of breathe. His clothes were torn and wrinkled, his face scratched and already bruising and his hair messed up beyond belief and he still managed to look like a beat up movie star. "What about that question?"
"Oh my god, I-Weasel!" Naruto deadpanned, "Are you serious?"
"What question?" Sasuke called out, eyes narrowing. Naruto had almost said something…
"I asked him who he could love: me or you." Weasel explained to Sasuke.
Sasuke's heart skipped a beat and he looked at Naruto, hoping his face didn't look too pleading or hopeful or anxious. Naruto dropped his head in his hands, obviously fed-up and tired of all this,
"So?" Weasel egged Naruto on.
"Fine. Fine Weasel." He looked at Weasel briefly, "who could I love out of you and Sasuke?"
Weasel nodded, black eyes narrowed deviously- like everything had gone according to plan. Naruto was silent for a few seconds; Sasuke thought he'd never been so nervous in his entire life. Then Naruto looked Sasuke dead in the face, no shyness, no nothing and Sasuke instantly knew what the answer would be.
"Sasuke."