Title: A Complicated State of Happiness
Author: ZombieJazz
Fandom: Law & Order: SVU
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Will (and his family) and Noah have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.
Summary: With her son now two, Olivia moves into a new condo where she has a friendly but geeky neighbour. She continues to navigate being a single mom and her work - while now also trying to find her place in a new neighbourhood and figure out what she thinks of and wants from this Will guy.
Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Her relationship with Elliot is that of partner and protective older brother and colleague. It won't devolve from that - they aren't ever going to get together in this series. If you're an E/O shipper, you likely won't enjoy these stories. The timeline is a little loose and since most of the stories ultimately takes place outside of the work environment, there aren't too many references to cases from the show. But this series would generally be starting in about Season 10/11 of the show. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.
She glanced at the guy wading towards her and Noah in the swallow end of the pool.
She'd noticed he was one of two people who'd been on the far side of the pool swimming lengths in the cordoned off lanes of the Olympic pool. But the rest of the pool had near been empty. That was pretty much exactly what she'd been going for and why she'd picked to come over to the pool around dinnertime on a Sunday night – just 90 minutes before the place even closed.
She just was trying to have some spool-down time with her son before having to get back to the job in the morning. She didn't want to be dodging around other children, chatting with other moms with floating toddlers or being propositioned by any men who thought a public pool was an ideal place to look at women in bathing suits and to try to pick-up.
She sunk lower in the water, getting everything but her head out of view and turned her back to the guy, floating Noah around with her – and hoping the guy would take the hint. Or that she was overreacting and he was just heading for the exit ladder closest to the men's locker room.
But, she heard a "hey" and glanced over her shoulder again and saw the guy pull off his goggles, followed by his swim cap – and it quickly sunk in that it was clearly Will. There was no way she would've recognized him in the swim get-up – and nor by his body, that he clearly wasn't feeling the need to sink down into the water and hide.
She tried not to look at him too hard – not to be that vain or desperate or just perverted. She didn't like when men examined women like that, she shouldn't do the same to men. But the guy's stomach, though not defined with six-pack abs, was so flat and his chest so defined. But more than that she couldn't help but notice he was covered in tattoos. Just with him standing in front of her, she could see them going down both sides of his ribs, wrapping around his one shoulder and on both biceps. And she was sure when she'd been spacing out and looking over at the two swimmers, she'd seen tattoos across the man's back and on his one leg as he kicked through each length.
"Ah, hey," she said back to him.
They hadn't spoken or seen each other since their spat on Friday night. She wasn't sure if she was ready to talk to him yet. But he looked like he was over it. Maybe he had less to get over, she thought. He'd bitten off her head twice in less than a week. She thought it was kind of obnoxious. By her accounts, he had more to apologize for than her – despite anything he may have implied in their previous conversations. She wasn't too thrilled about the way he'd talked to her – his tone or the fact he'd called her a bitch. She wasn't used to letting men – or anyone – get away with talking to her like that.
He sunk down in the water a bit and smiled at Noah. "Hey, Noah," he said.
Apparently her son recognized him without any trouble, because he quickly declared, "'Ill" and struggled from her grip a bit and managed to paddle the few feet to Will, who just smiled more and put his hands under her son's armpits and helped keep him afloat.
"Looks like you've got a swimmer here," he told her with a small smile.
She sunk in the water a bit more and tucked a piece of her hair behind her hair. It was at an extremely annoying length right now and she felt like she was always adjusting it. She couldn't decide if she wanted to cut it shorter again or just put up with it while it grew out. She hated how she kept playing with it around her neighbour, though, and wondered if he even noticed. She noticed, though, and it made her think that getting it cut might be the better option.
"Ah, yeah, he likes the water," she commented.
Will was supporting under Noah's belly as her son paddled around him. Noah's comfort around the man always surprised her. It actually made her a little uncomfortable – but she also didn't want to overtly discourage it either. She thought that might damage Noah somehow – and Will hadn't done anything to deserve that, as much as she felt a little pissed with him.
Her son needed male role models in his life and she tried her best not to discourage the few interactions he did have with the men around them. She still wasn't sure how she felt about adding Will to the list of men around them, though. Still, he'd definitely been around them for two months now – and Noah seemed to eat it up. She supposed her son saw Will more than he did Elliot or Munch or Fin. They were seeing Will in some capacity at least three times a week – if not more – and even if it was just those awkwardly silent elevator rides, where she tried to ignore him while he made silly faces and even sillier chatter at her son.
"Is he doing lessons?" Will asked as Noah splashed at him.
She held out her hands for Noah and he worked at paddling back to her. "Yeah, we've done some Parent and Tot stuff and Learn to Swim."
Will gave her a small smile. "You can tell. Good form."
She snorted at his joke about her son's awkward but determined doggie paddle.
"What about you?" he asked, "Are you a swimmer?"
She shook her head. "Nah, not really. You know, it's just something you do with toddlers."
"You look like you could be a swimmer," he offered.
She glanced at him and again felt the need to sink lower in the water. He seemed to notice and sunk a bit lower too so the water was almost lapping at his chin.
"I can watch him for a few minutes if you wanted to get some lengths in – or time in the hot tub or sauna or whatever."
"We're OK," she told him. "Thanks."
He bobbed a bit in the water and seemed to shrug. "OK," he said. But seemed to stay there like there was more he wanted to say. Instead, though, he just kind of buoyed there watching them and she glanced at him again – as Noah started to make his way towards the side wall and where they'd left a flutter-board sitting on the deck.
"I wanted to apologize about Friday night," he said, as she really turned her back and grabbed the board for Noah, putting it back into the water and making sure he had a hold of it, before maneuvering them both around to look at Will again.
She shrugged. "OK. Apology accepted."
He gave almost a little laugh and shook his head like maybe he was expecting some other sort of response. He seemed to examine the water for a bit, as Noah worked at kicking his feet and making his way over to the man. Will pulled her son to him as he got over there and put his little feet on crouched thighs and positioned the board tight against Noah's chest.
"OK, big push off, bud," he said. "See how fast you can get back to Mommy."
"Fast!" Noah told him.
"OK, let's see," Will said, and half pushed, half tossed Noah off his crouched legs back in her direction, giving the boy a little bit of air and then creating a small wake of water around him as he skidded across the top of the water and he started kicking. Noah giggled with delight at the maneuver.
Will just watched as Noah closed the couple metre gap between them both. She knew Noah was going to expect her to do the same thing for him now when he reached her – so she arranged him in the same position and sent him flying back towards Will – more giggles emitting from him. Will smiled as the kid made his way back to him. He glanced at her, as he held out his arms, waiting to grab Noah as he got closer.
"I was still a little wound up about the whole McTeague thing from earlier in the week – but it shouldn't have reached the point that it manifested itself that way," he offered. "I didn't mean to disturb you or Noah's sleep."
She shrugged. "It's OK. He didn't wake up."
He gave a small nod and made a face at Noah – before setting him up to go again.
"Higher, 'Ill," he told the man.
"Higher? I don't know, bud. You have to be pretty brave for higher."
Noah glanced at him. "I brave."
Will snorted and looked at Olivia but from where she was leaning with her back against the side-wall of the pool, she didn't give any protest at the concept of him tossing her son a bit higher into the air – so he did, making a splash with Noah's little body that made him shriek with joy before his sloppy kicking started back to her again.
"I thought you said you didn't have friends," Olivia commented, though, she knew it was kind of obnoxious, while she waited for Noah to get back to her.
Will shook his head again and looked at the water. "You're kind of a piece of work," he said and looked at her. "I wouldn't want to see how you treat the people you get in your interrogation room – if this is how you treat … just people."
She didn't comment on the statement – and diverted her eyes to Noah instead. She thought she was treating him a hell of a lot better than she treated any of her perps.
"Ah, I think I said I didn't have many friends, though," Will said, apparently felt the need to clarify. "And, I don't. And most of the guys I am friends with are married and have kids – so I don't get to see them too often anymore. Except maybe things like a game night every couple months. Or they're like Greg – the guy who answered the door. You know, the kind of guy you'll be shocked, and feel slightly sorry for the level of desperation in the woman, if he does ever get someone to marry him?"
She snorted at that.
"He's harmless," Will said. "In a Zach Galifianakis – in The Hangover, kind of way."
She snorted again at that, as she worked at spinning Noah around in the water, bobbing him up and down.
"Ah – you finally got one of my pop culture references," Will said.
"You actually referred to something that isn't completely obscure and could likely actually be called pop culture," she commented at him.
Will allowed a smile. "Probably sadly disappointing to admit that Greg is my comic guy then."
She looked at him and mouthed, "Your comic guy?"
"He works at a comic shop. He sets aside the good stuff for me when it comes in."
She really had to hold it a laugh at that one and it kind of partially seeped out. "The good stuff?"
"That's funny, eh?" Will said.
She shrugged. "Yeah. It is."
"Mmm," he shook his head again. "Your Mom isn't too nice to me there Noah."
Noah looked at him a little questioningly and pointed at him. "'Ill," he said and looked at his mother.
She nodded. "Yeah, that's Will."
Noah struggled away from her and started paddling towards Will again and the man again put out his arms, waiting to grab her son and make sure he kept afloat.
"So are you staying until close?" he asked.
She was looking at Noah – but glanced at him and shrugged. She looked up at the giant clock on the wall at the end of the pool. There was only about 20 more minutes until the place shutdown anyways.
"I guess maybe at this point," she said.
Will nodded and grabbed Noah and twirled him around through the water as he reached him.
"You know how to do bubbles?" he asked Noah. "Motor boat?"
Her son nodded. "Yes!"
"Yeah? Show me? I bet I can do more."
"NO!" Noah declared and planted his face in the water and started more spitting into it than blowing bubbles.
Will made a chortle sound but put his mouth in the water too and blew some much better bubbles than Noah. Noah started coughing and gagging on the water and Will scooped him up. The choking continued and she saw Noah's face grow red and his eyes look watery, so she closed the gap, actually standing straight out of the water and took him from Will's arms. She saw Will give a bit of a look at her in her bathing suit – or at least what he could see above the water. She told herself it wasn't much more than he would've seen when she'd been standing in front of him in her tank on Friday anyways – and she didn't have anything to be ashamed of. But she still felt slightly awkward and was glad when Noah clutched to her – covering up most of what there was to see anyways.
"Sorry," he said sheepishly.
She bounced Noah a bit. He'd stopped sputtering. "It's OK. He's fine," she said. "Right, sweets?"
Noah rubbed at his eye a bit and let out another little cough but nodded. She patted his back.
"Ah, I was going to try to get in another 500 metres before close – but if you're still here, I can walk you two home if you want," he offered.
She gave him a look, as she prepared to again shoot down his ridiculous offer. They were fine. But she saw the way he looked – like he expected that – and he again sheepishly kind of looked into the water again.
He shook his head before she could speak, though. "Yeah, I know. You're a cop. You can take care of yourself. It's only a few blocks," he said and shrugged. "But it's going to be dark out when we get out there. I know it's only 7 but … you know…"
She examined him for a moment. "Why'd the McTeague thing piss you off so much?" she asked instead of answering him, though.
He glanced up at her from whatever was so interesting at the bottom of the pool. He ran his hand through his damp and matted hair.
"Ah … you know … I don't really fit into the McTeague dynasty that well. I don't really get them. They don't really get me."
"Your father, though, he talks about you … at the hearings," she said.
Will snorted and finally made eye contact with her. "No, he talks about my dead wife – to make me fit more neatly into the little mythology around our family. You know – our whole family – so deeply affected by 9/11 – such a part of us, such a defining moment for us. And our whole family suffered losses and struggles, but by damn, we rose to the occasion." He shook his head. "I never asked to be talked about. I'd prefer I wasn't."
She watched him, bouncing Noah a bit, who'd given up swimming and was just resting his head against her shoulder, while she bobbed him in the water.
"I think there are a lot of people who appreciate all the work your father has done for the first responder community and those families affected in the Attacks," she told him. "It likely helps them to know he's experienced their struggles in some capacity."
Will shrugged. "I'm sure there are. But – he doesn't know what it's like to lose a wife – or to lose a wife there – and I don't like being used as an example that suggests he somehow does. But … whatever … I don't even grieve properly in my family, Olivia. You see, I don't understand what 9/11 did to this city, to 'our community'. I haven't even let myself mourn, or so my mother tells. So what do I know?"
She examined him some more. She'd gotten the sense previously that he was a black sheep in his family – but now she thought it wasn't just that. He was estranged from them – but apparently still interacting with them. He seemed a little more damaged about the whole thing than she previously thought.
She rubbed her eyebrow and then just shrugged. She didn't know what to say. After-all, what did she know about any of it either. She didn't have a family to deal with family politics. And, though she knew people who'd died in the Towers – none of them had even been close friends, let alone a spouse. She didn't think she could offer anything that would make things better – between them or even just for him.
"Ah, I'm going to start to get him changed," she said. "But I guess we'll wait for you in the lobby – whenever you're done your lengths."
He gave her a little nod – but he'd gone back to looking at the bottom of the pool and was still bobbing there when she glanced back at him after she got Noah out of the pool and adjusted the rear of her suit from riding up her ass. It seemed like all suits were purposely designed to do that for some reason – no matter how modest or Mommy-like you bought them. At least he wasn't looking at her – but she also didn't think he was going to manage to get in those extra 500 metres.