14.
Christmas crept on them without Haymitch truly noticing despite Effie's repeated pointed hints and numerous questions as to how he was planning on celebrating the holidays. Katniss seemed as disinterested by the whole thing as he was, regarding the lights lining the houses in the streets and the huge Christmas tree in Effie's shop with curiosity but no real envy.
It would be the first Christmas without her family and Haymitch wasn't sure how to work around that, so he was happy to simply ignore the problem for now. At least until Effie dove right into it, tired of her subtle inquiries being ignored.
"So, darling…" she asked, one night, at dinner, looking straight at his niece. "What do you want to do for the holidays?"
Katniss frowned over her tomato soup, the spoon stopping two inches away from her open mouth. Haymitch could see Effie cringe in horror at the girl's dreadful table manners and smirked. In the end, the kid didn't even answer. She slurped her soup and shrugged. Effie cringed further but didn't let herself get distracted.
"Don't you want a tree?" she insisted. "And maybe some fairy lights to make the house more festive?"
Katniss looked at him uncertainly and he lifted his hands in a helpless gesture, leaving the choice to her.
"Can we have a tree?" the girl asked uncertainly. "Trees are for rich people…"
"Oh, darling…" Effie breathed out.
Haymitch rubbed his eyes, wondering for the first time if he had gotten the situation wrong. He had assumed Katniss simply wasn't into Christmas and he had thought they were past the money question.
"You can have a tree if you want a tree." Haymitch scoffed. "We can get the biggest tree they have."
The girl tilted her head, studying him. "But we can't waste money on that because Prim…" She shut up abruptly and the spoon clattered in the still half-full bowl of soup. "Do I get a tree now because Prim is not here anymore, so we have money?"
"No." Effie answered before he could. "You get a tree because every child deserves to have a wonderful Christmas, Katniss. And you have been very very good this year so I am certain Santa will have lots of presents for you."
"Santa brought me my bow last year." she nodded wisely. "It was nice."
He and Effie exchanged a glance and he had no doubt they were thinking the same thing. They could do better than a plastic bow.
"What would you want Santa to bring you?" he asked, not so subtly.
It didn't matter, Katniss wasn't the most observant person. She picked up her spoon and went back to eating her soup, shrugging once more. "Can he bring back my Daddy, my Mommy and my Prim?"
Effie's eyes were sad but he could tell she had been expecting that answer, he had been too.
"No, sweetheart." he sighed. "That's a little out of his league."
"Can he make it so Peeta's Mommy isn't nasty anymore?" she asked next.
That one, he hadn't quite expected but it was Effie's turn to drop her spoon in her bowl in a way that wasn't quite ladylike.
"Not sure that's his field either." Haymitch winced.
The girl's scowl clearly expressed that she wasn't impressed with Santa Claus' rumored super powers. "Can he make it so we keep Effie forever?"
That was a bombshell.
"She's not a pet." he said, once he had recovered, after clearing his throat. "It's not like…"
"But I want us to keep Effie forever." she argued, furrowing her eyebrows and tossing Effie a reproachful look. "What if you go to your house again and never come back? I want you to be with us. Forever."
"Katniss…" Effie tried but the kid wasn't done.
"I don't like when you're not here even when you're annoying." the girl insisted with a sulk.
"Why, thank you. I guess." Effie huffed. "Nevertheless…"
"Okay." Haymitch cut in. "Enough of this. Eat your soup, sweetheart." His eyes darted between the two half empty bowls and he rolled his eyes. "Both of you."
The rest of the meal was spent in a deafening silence. You could have heard a pin drop. He let Effie put Katniss to bed and went for a shower. He had just slipped on sweatpants and was toweling his hair dry when he heard Effie's always loud voice conclude the bedtime story with "and they live happily ever after". He tossed the towel and wandered closer to the girl's bedroom, thinking he would give her the mandatory goodnight kiss, but he paused on the threshold when he glimpsed the not so unwelcomed sight of Effie sitting on the girl's bed, leaning against the headboard, her long legs crossed at the ankles and a closed book of children stories on her lap. Katniss' back was turned to him, she was buried under her duvet, not quite snuggling against Effie – that wasn't the kid's style – but very much pressed against her side.
Haymitch leaned against the doorframe, arm crossed, enjoying the view. Effie's eyes darted to him but Katniss didn't notice his presence.
"Time to sleep now." Effie whispered, brushing the long dark hair away from her face.
"Do you have a mommy and a daddy?" the girl asked.
"Yes." she hummed with a small smile. "Everyone has a mommy and a daddy, sweetie."
The kid adjusted her grip on the Mockingjay, making sure it was neatly tucked under the covers. "Are they nice?"
Effie hesitated. "They are not mean."
"Are they nice like Uncle Haymitch?" the girl insisted.
"No one is nice like Uncle Haymitch." she grinned with a wink in his direction.
He rolled his eyes but smirked at her.
"True." Katniss yawned. "Do you have a Prim?"
"I have a Lyssa." she answered. "She's older than me though."
The girl nodded slowly as if it made perfect sense and then reached out to finger the hem of her dress. "Can I tell you a secret?"
Blue eyes darted to him and back, hesitant, but in the end she smiled. "Of course."
Katniss' legs were moving restlessly under the covers, sign if any that she was either disturbed by something or upset. "Sometimes… Sometimes I can't remember my Daddy or my Mommy or my Prim." The words were rushed out of her mouth in a hasty murmur. "I want to think about my Daddy but when I think about my Daddy he looks like Uncle Haymitch and I can't remember what he looks like so I have to stare really, really hard at the picture not to forget next time but I always forget." The girl reached out and grabbed a fistful of Effie's dress. "Is it bad?"
"No, darling. Of course not." Effie was quick to reassure her, sliding down the bed a little so she could wrap the girl in her arms. Katniss went willingly, which tended to show she was truly upset, leaving Haymitch to wonder just how many things he was missing… He hadn't known Katniss wanted a real Christmas, he hadn't know she was missing her family that much… Effie was looking at him, silently inviting him to cut in but he remained where he was, unsure of what to say to comfort his niece, so she sighed and went on. "You are very little, Katniss…"
"I'm not a baby." the girl scowled. "I'm a big girl."
"Yes, you are." Effie agreed immediately. "And a very brave one too. But as big as you are, you are still little, does it make sense?"
Katniss mulled that over a few seconds. "I'm not big like you or Uncle Haymitch."
"Exactly." she approved. "So you cannot remember as many things as we do."
"But Uncle Haymitch isn't my Daddy and when I think about my Daddy…" Katniss argued.
"Sweetie." Effie interrupted her firmly. "Your uncle has been taking care of you like a daddy takes care of his daughter, that is why you are thinking about him this way."
"But I have a Daddy already." the girl said, her lips wobbling. "Daddy will be mad if Uncle Haymitch takes his place."
"Uncle Haymitch won't take your Daddy's place." Effie promised quietly but firmly enough that Katniss stopped swinging her legs under the covers. "Do you want to know what I think?" The kid didn't look sure but she nodded anyway. "I think… I think some people are unlucky enough to lose their Daddy or Mommy but sometimes they find someone that can be like a second one. They don't replace them, it is more like… an additional one."
"So it's okay if I think about Uncle Haymitch when I think about my Daddy?" Katniss insisted, obviously wanting a clear answer on that point.
"Yes, it is." Effie replied firmly. She met Haymitch's eyes and he forced himself to smile but it was hollow. He hated that his kid was hurting like that. If he could change things…
"And you can be my second Mommy." the girl yawned, placing her head on Effie's lap.
Effie's blue eyes snapped from him to the child. "I… What?"
Haymitch should have been shocked by the question but he wasn't, not really. It was logical. Effie had been a fixed feature since almost as long as Katniss had been with him and now she was sleeping over more often than not. Their routine had shifted to include her. She was the one who helped Katniss get dressed almost every morning while he was cooking breakfast, she was the one Katniss ran to when her hair bothered her or when she needed a handkerchief or anything practical Haymitch always forgot, the kid liked when Effie read her stories because Effie did voices better than him and, although it went unvoiced, Katniss felt safer after a nightmare when she was sandwiched between their two bodies.
Effie Trinket had become an integral part of their lives and he had barely seen it coming. She was like those surprise hurricanes you only realized were there once your house was blown away.
"You're like my Mommy now." Katniss insisted. "But I won't call you Auntie because Peeta will try to kill me again."
Effie opened and closed her mouth, obviously not knowing what to dispute first, so Haymitch walked in, making sure to make some noise so the kid wouldn't be startled.
"What are you chatterboxes talking about?" he asked, pretending he hadn't heard the rest. "I thought the story was supposed to put you to sleep?" He flopped down on the bed behind Katniss and poked her in the ribs, prompting a giggle that she swallowed back quickly. "You're not asleep."
"Nope." Katniss shrugged, making the p pop.
"You need another story, then." Haymitch decided, nodding at Effie. "Come on, Princess. Read on." He settled on the bed, wrapping an arm around his niece that looped around Effie's thigh. She pursed her lips but complied, picking the book back up. "Brave." he snorted. "Never heard that one…"
"Hush, Haymitch. Katniss is already sarcastic enough as it is, she does not need your bad influence." Effie chided him, before clearing her voice and starting with a Once upon a time…
Katniss was asleep before Merida shot her first arrow but neither he nor Effie moved immediately. He was so focused on watching his kid sleeping that he missed the tears in Effie's eyes. When he did though, he reached out and brushed his hand against her cheek. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
Effie's smile was sad. "I love your child so much… But I do miss mine."
She dropped a kiss on Katniss' head and gently extricated herself from her tiny grip. Haymitch followed her out of the room, making sure not to forget to leave the night-light – for Buttercup not for her, as the child always insisted. They wandered downstairs and Haymitch tried to make sense of the sudden tension.
"If things don't work out between us…" she said suddenly. "Will you let me… I would hate for her to think I abandoned her if we ever split up. I do love her…"
"Things are working out pretty well." he frowned, running his hand on the back of the couch. He was nervous and as always when he was nervous, his throat was parched and he felt the deep longing for a drink. "Look, Effie… Maybe the kid's got a point."
"About?" she asked, standing a few feet away from him, slightly ill-at-ease.
"About you moving in?" he hesitated. "You're here more often than not anyway. You're practically living here. So… Let Santa do that for her."
"You want me to move in as a Christmas present for your child?" she clarified flatly.
"Yeah." he said and when he spotted the astonished and almost pained expression on her face, he winced. "No." He was making a mess of this. "Well, yeah, I want you here. No, not just for Katniss although it would make for an easy Christmas present so…"
Effie studied him for a few seconds and then averted her eyes. "She is very attached to me and I love her dearly but if you are doing this for her…"
"Your stuff is all over my house." he cut her off. "You sleep here almost every night…"
"Yes, but…" she tried to argue.
"You're the only person I trust to distract me when I crave a drink." he went on. "I don't know how to sleep alone anymore. I… You're a pain in my ass and I like it. And, yeah, you're great with my kid and I like that too. Katniss loves you, I trust you with her…" He buried his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Look, I'm not saying it will be easy every day but… My life was pretty much upside down when I met you and you kind of put it right, so…" He let the sentence trail off.
She was watching him with a wariness akin to caution. "Is that a convoluted way of saying you have feelings for me?"
He shrugged and looked down, unwilling to confess as much. Love declarations weren't his thing, he wasn't even sure he had it in him.
"You know me." he mumbled. "You know the whole package deal. And you still want me even though I don't get why so…"
"That's not the same as having feelings for me, Haymitch." she replied. "Am I just convenient or…"
"Convenient?" he scoffed. "You're the most inconvenient thing that ever happened to me, sweetheart! And I still wouldn't change it. You're… You're…" He stammered to a stop, at a lack for words. "You're a nutcase!" She pursed her lips and he chuckled. "You're a nutcase and I love it. You're perfect for me. To me."
She huffed and crossed the distance between them to lock her arms around his neck.
"Couldn't you simply say you love me like anyone else would in this situation?" she asked and then kissed him before he could retort anything to that. Kisses grew heated and before long they were stumbling to his bedroom, barely managing to keep quiet on the way. They didn't quite managed to stay quiet once in the bedroom either but Katniss miraculously remained asleep.
They had learned their lesson though and the first thing Effie did once they were done was grab a handful of clothes for them to slip on. He was sorry to see her naked body go but he didn't mind so much once she snuggled close to him and rested her head on his shoulder.
"So, when you say you want us to move in together…" she hummed. "You mean you want me to move in your house?"
"Well, you can room with the geese if you want to but I think the house would be more practical." he deadpanned. "I don't think all your clothes would fit in the pen."
She whacked his arm in rebuke. "I mean I should be moving with you in your house."
"Yeah." he shrugged.
"My house is bigger." she pointed out. "Why don't you and Katniss move there?"
"Because your house is a very cold place with no soul?" he snorted.
"It has an indoor pool, a hot tub and all modern comfort." she replied. "Your shower gives me lukewarm water every three days."
"Yeah, I need to fix the boiler." he sighed.
"And… There is no room for Peeta here." she whispered. "We can easily turn one of the guest rooms in my house into a room for Katniss but here… Peeta won't have his room and I need him to have his room. What if he feels left out? What if he thinks I am replacing him with your child? No, that wouldn't work out. He needs…"
She was making a valiant attempt at keeping an even voice, something that wasn't always a given when Peeta was being discussed. Dylan was still telling her to give it time but it had been a while now since she had last seen her godson and he knew she was missing him like crazy.
"You can take the study." he offered. "I never use it. We can turn it into a bedroom. And I'm not saying you to sell your house. Keep it for holidays or kids parties or whatever…"
He would rather they had the birthdays and what not at her huge house with the indoor pool than at his house where the poor geese would eventually end up traumatized by children with grabby hands.
She thought it over for a few seconds and then propped her chin on his shoulder. "Are we serious about this? Are you serious about this? Because I know my own feelings, Haymitch. I have known for quite a while now and I kept silent not to scare you away but… If you do this just because Katniss grew too attached, I… I am not sure I would recover from that."
He captured her lips in a kiss that was sweeter than what usually passed between them.
"I'm serious." he mumbled against her mouth. "I'm dead fucking serious."
He IS dead fucking serious... Did you miss this story? Only two chapters to the end! Enjoy!