Chapter Thirteen

Alex

Gaining any additional information on Helton was proving much more difficult than I'd anticipated. Angrily, I tapped the keyboard a bit harder than I intended and the laptop gave a brief squeal of protest. Sighing, I rubbed my forehead. All I wanted was one, tiny piece of information that would help to unravel the mystery surrounding Helton's death. I just wanted the one fact that could result in everything making sense.

Twenty minutes later, I still had nothing.

I stood up, frustrated and going cross eyed from staring at the screen for so long. A coffee break seemed like a great idea, so I shut the laptop- admittedly with a tad more force than was probably necessary- and left the meeting room. I knew that venturing out into the halls wasn't the best idea and that the chance of Abigail finding out I was still skulking about was high, but I really needed a break, a chance to get away from the computer and an opportunity to clear my head.

There was a working coffee machine on the second floor. Hunching over, I silently begged the machine to hurry up; the cup was taking forever to fill. When the water reached half of the way up the Styrofoam, someone tapped my shoulder. I jumped and grabbed at the cup as it wobbled wildly and threatened to tip over.

'Alex?'

Steadying the cup, I turned around to find one of the newest and youngest officers, Ava Phillips, staring at me, a thoughtful frown on her face. 'Ava,' I gasped. 'You gave me a heart attack.'

She gave a lopsided grin. 'Could that be because you're not meant to be here and you thought I was going to tell you off?'

'What-' I shook my head. 'How did you find out about that?'

'You having to take leave?' When I nodded she continued: 'It's all over Headquarters,' she said. 'She told everyone, like you were some sort of failed experiment.'

I gathered that the "she" referred to Abigail and I was happy to hear the complete loathing in Ava's voice; she was one of the only new officers to have a real resentment for our boss, even though Abigail was the only one they'd ever had.

'Really?' I knew I sounded shocked, but truthfully I wasn't surprised- it was just what I'd expected from Abigail.

Ava's grin vanished. 'Yeah... Alex... Can I ask you something?'

'Course.'

'It's just...' Ava dropped her gaze and scuffed her foot against the carpet. 'What did you, Li, Paulo, Amber and Hex do?'

Shrugging, because I honestly had no clue what we'd done to piss Abigail off, I said, 'She's had it in for us the moment she walked through the doors. I mean, yeah, Hex doesn't help the situation- he's been starting arguments with her since she started- but...'

'But what?'

I shrugged again. 'I really haven't got a clue, Ava. She doesn't seem to like a lot of us.'

'Ha!' Ava gave a short bark of laughter. 'All the other junior officers suck up to her big time- you know that I've actually seen her smile at some of them.'

'Wow,' I gasped, playing along. 'I had no idea she could do that!'

Ava giggled and then, quite suddenly, stopped, sounding a bit strangled. Noticing the guilty and nervous expression on her face and the fact that her gaze was now directed over my shoulder, I slowly turned around.

'Officer Craig,' barked Abigail, her eyes blazing, 'it may be a wise idea to turn off the coffee machine before an even bigger stain forms on the carpet.' As I hurriedly switched the machine off she added, 'Phillips- dismissed.'

Throwing me an apologetic glance, Ava scuttled off- despite her brave words, it was clear that she was just as terrified of Abigail as the other new officers. No such easy escape for me, though.

Positively bristling with rage, Abigail hissed, 'And what are you doing here, Craig?'

'Ah...' I struggled to come up with a plausible excuse and failed. I'm just here to pick up some stuff? I had to drop someone off and thought I'd grab a cup of coffee?

'Let me help you explain,' she said, her voice low and angry. I gulped. 'I gave you your letter of dismissal and you deliberately ignored it, deciding to try and prove a point, try to undermine my authority. In case it has failed to get through your head, Craig, I am in charge and have been for the past ten months. I do not appreciate these blatant displays of disrespect and immaturity that you and your pathetic group of friends keep showing. I do not appreciate the fact that the seven of you are further questioning my authority by encouraging the new officers to rebel. I am running a far more efficient and productive unit than my predecessor ever could have hoped to. I have gotten more results than he could have hoped to. I am more suited and far more capable of running MI5 than he ever was. Accept it.'

I was breathing hard, not from exertion but from pure rage. 'Well then, if we're making comparisons... Harry was more human than you could ever hope to be. He actually cared about us. He didn't use bullying tactics to get the results you seem to favour so highly. He never dismissed anyone. He helped us. He-'

'Frankly, Craig,' she sneered, 'I don't give a damn. Mr Field was incompetent and had no idea how to manage such an important department as MI5.' She smirked. 'In a way it's a blessing he died.'

Someone had wrapped an iron band around my chest- I gasped for breath. 'Harry was murdered. He didn't just die- Price killed him.'

'Does it really matter?' Abigail shrugged dismissively. 'As I said, Craig, I don't give a damn.' In the blink of an eye she'd surged forwards and was glowering at me from less than a foot away. 'Once again, you're dismissed, Officer Craig. I'll get back to you on the permanency of this decision.'

Abigail spun on her heel and stalked away, leaving me standing beside the coffee machine, shocked, angry and upset. Boss or not, had she been allowed to say all of that about Harry? My mind whirred, jumped to conclusions and suddenly Abigail was connected with Price, organising Harry's murder in a dark alley someplace. She cackled and gloated over the job she was sure to secure once Harry had been put out of the way. My hands clenched tightly by my sides, I, too, spun around and hurried down the hall.

Without Hex's connections and astounding knowledge of all things technological, I was at a bit of a loss as to how I could proceed with my research- I now had someone other than Helton to dig up some dirt on as well. Despite the almost absurdity of my sudden thought that maybe Abigail had been in some way involved with Harry's death, I really wanted to follow it up. I resolved to not discuss it with my friends, though- at least not for the time being. While I knew that they'd never say it to my face, it was all too clear that my paranoia and anxiety was starting to affect my friendship with them all.

The doorbell rang and I jumped, wondering who was calling around. I opened the door and saw the one person I hadn't expected to.

'Laura,' I blurted. 'What're you- I- Come in.' I stood back and she brushed past me. My hopes sank as I caught her frosty expression. Damn.

'I just came around to pick up some of my things,' she said once we were in the lounge room. 'I didn't expect you'd be home.'

'How did you plan on getting in then?' When she'd walked out she'd left her key on the doormat.

Her expression was still cold and withdrawn. 'You've moved the spare key. I would have used that.'

'Guess it's a good thing I'm here then, huh?'

Laura frowned, obviously disagreeing. Despite her distant manner, the more I looked at her- at her eyes especially- I could see just how hurt she still was. We stood in a silence so uncomfortable it almost ached, until Laura cleared her throat and said, 'I'll go and fetch my things.'

She vanished down the hall and I retreated to the kitchen. Half a cup of tea later, Laura reappeared, standing in the kitchen entrance clutching a medium sized box, two bags over her shoulders.

'Got everything, then?' I asked, still peering into my mug.

'Mostly. Everything I could find.'

'If I come across anything else, I'll let you know.'

She gave a small cough. 'Sure. I'd appreciate that.'

As our conversation once again screeched to an awkward halt, I realised something- Abigail had stuffed my life up enough and if I didn't say something soon, I was going to lose Laura for good. I had once last chance. At that moment, nothing else mattered- not my job, not my boss, nothing- but Laura knowing the truth. All or nothing, Alex.

'Look, Laura-'

'Don't,' she cut me off, almost begging. 'Please, don't give me any more lame excuses, Alex. I'm sick of it.' She smiled sadly and added, 'You're keeping something from me, I know you are. You've been keeping something from me ever since we met.'

All or nothing. Go, Alex. Come on. Tell her. There's still a chance. Now! 'I know and you have absolutely no idea how hard it's been.'

'Hard?' she echoed in disbelief. 'I'm the one who's had to deal with knowing that the person I'm in love with can't even trust me. Our entire relationship's been one huge lie, Alex.'

'No!'

'Well,' she said softly, 'it was resting on one at least.' Once again, her voice dropped to a whisper. 'I'm not even sure if I know who you really are.'

I pushed my tea away- it was cold now anyway. 'I'm trying to tell you, Laura, if you'd just listen-'

'No.' She shook her head adamantly. 'It's too late for explanations and excuses. I don't care anymore, okay? We're finished, we're not getting back together.' Her voice broke at the end and she furiously wiped at her eyes. 'I'm leaving.'

She stormed for the hallway and the front door. Without a second's thought I followed her, some crazy part of me hoping she'd let me explain myself. As she went through the door, Laura half turned and her lips twisted into a tiny smile. 'You know,' she whispered, 'I always thought you might have been a spy- MI6. I thought it'd be a fair explanation for all the secrecy.'

With that, she closed the door, leaving me standing there, staring at the wood. 'MI5,' I mumbled. 'Not MI6.'