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Halloween:
I didn't think that I was going to make it through those first few days in hiding. In fact, it's a miracle that I did. I just hate this feeling of helplessness—it's torture.
The worst part is that for the first time since Oliver and I broke up, I truly feel lonely because even though I know that my friends are here to help me through this, I also know that they don't have to be. I'm basically just causing them needless suffering here.
Fred and George (the great boyfriends that they are) take Angelina and Alicia out at least once a week. I am, of course, left at the flat but in many ways I think it's a good thing. It gives me a little time to just be alone and it also helps that I know my friends are getting out of the house for a little while.
Surprisingly, Lee's been helping me through this. I think he feels more comfortable with me now that I'm in roughly the same position that he is. He stops by quite a bit and we've actually been able to patch up some stuff that needed mending.
My temper's become more melancholy over the weeks, but I am learning to accept my fate. I just worry sometimes, you know? I mean, how long am I going to be living like this? Because I'm not the kind of person who likes this kind of life—at all. I'd much rather be out there fighting You-Know-Who personally than to be here safe and trapped in my own home.
Pathetically, the only thing keeping me going through the long, grueling days is the fact that Oliver still hasn't asked Jaiden to marry him. I don't know if they're having a row or what because I haven't seen Oliver all that much; but whatever it is, I'm immensely happy.
Oliver and I have been writing back and forth and I can honestly say that I'm falling for him again. Without a doubt. If I go even a day without talking or writing to him, I start going through withdrawals. That can't be healthy, can it? I swear that boy is going to be the death of me.
Tonight's Halloween so Fred and George are having their Second Annual Halloween Bash at the shop. And I'm more than a bit depressed about the whole situation.
"Katie, you're being ridiculous," Angelina says for about the fifth time in the course of twenty minutes as she continues getting ready. "You need to stop moping around. Fred said you can come! It's a bloody costume party, for Merlin's sake! All you have to do is wear a damn mask. Lee's coming and so is that Ben guy. You're just trying to make us feel sorry for you now."
"It's not that, Ange, I just really don't want to go. I've gotten too used to solitude," I tell her, even though it's not completely true. The truth is that I'd be too scared to even step out of the house. Although I do want to be out of this entire situation, if I get caught now then everything that Oliver and everyone else has done for me would just be for nothing.
"You're alone all of the time! That's not healthy—you need company at least for one night."
"This isn't my fault, so please stop blaming it on me."
"It's not your fault you're in this position," she agrees, "but it is your fault that you're miserable all of the time."
"Angelina!" Alicia groans, coming into the room. "Stop yelling. It's Katie's choice."
"Thank you," I mutter.
"I didn't say you're making the right choice, but I'm not going to push you," Alicia retorts. "Ange, we've got to go."
"Yeah, yeah," Angelina mutters, grabbing her bag as they both prepare to leave. "Listen, Katie, I know this is hard and I'm sorry for pestering you, but I just think that you need to reconsider some things. We'll be at the shop. Call us if you need us."
I lay back on Angelina's bed as they Disapparate. As soon as they're gone, the frustration sets in—frustration at them and myself alike. What is my life coming to? My days are drifting together in a dull monotony and I almost want the Ministry to find me just so that something interesting will happen.
I'm innocent! Life sucks.
Deciding not to totally waste my night, I turn on the television in our living room and grab a bowl of popcorn. It's been a while since I've embraced my muggle heritage and I'm fully content with watching old horror movies all night long. I turn all of the lights off in order to set the mood and settle into my blankets on the couch. Within a few hours, I've totally forgotten all about the party going on without me.
Suddenly, a loud crack rings throughout the room. The popcorn that I'd been holding goes flying and I can't help but scream.
"It's just me," Oliver says with a laugh and I immediately feel a blush rising to my cheeks. I quickly fumble with the remote and pause the movie; Oliver flips the light switch on.
"Horror movies make me jumpy," I defend myself. "Sorry." He just laughs and sits down next to me on the couch. "Aren't you supposed to be at the Weasley's?" I ask as he begins munching on my popcorn.
"Aren't you?" he retorts.
"Touché, but I have more reason not to be there than you do."
"Maybe. But I'm not there because I'm here with you, so we're even," he answers confidently, throwing a piece of popcorn up in the air and catching it in his mouth. I just roll my eyes.
"That logic doesn't even make sense."
"Your point?"
"I guess I don't have one," I admit. "So, why are you here?"
"Parties aren't really my thing," he shrugs.
"Where's Jaiden?" I can't help but ask.
"Not sure," he answers. I thought he was going to leave it at that, but to my delight he continues. "I haven't really been talking to her that much lately. We kind of had a falling out a couple of weeks ago. I mean, we're not broken up or anything, but…"
"I'm sorry," I lie.
"No, it's really fine. She just made some rash assumptions and—"
"What kind of assumptions?"
"That I was cheating on her," he mutters. I try to keep a straight face.
"Well, are you?" I ask, trying to contain my laughter.
"No, but she doesn't believe me," he says sternly. "We'll work it out though. We'll be fine."
"Well, great." We sit in silence for a few seconds, before I reach over and turn the movie back on. He gives me a small smile as we both turn our attention to the screen.
My mind finds it hard to focus on the movie, though. The only thing I can think of right now is the man next to me. Obviously Jaiden doesn't care about him as much as he cares about her, which is both a good thing and a bad thing. It's a good thing because it probably means that they won't be getting married any time soon. But it's also a bad thing because I hate to see Oliver hurting.
Although he doesn't look too upset at the moment…
Call it the boredom that's been building up the past few weeks, but something comes over me in that moment and I can't stop myself from reaching across the couch to grab Oliver's hand. He looks over at me quickly, shock evident on his face, but makes no indication that he wants to remove his hand from mine. I feel the corners of my mouth curl up slightly. Oliver gently enterlaces our fingers and squeezes my hand gently. My heart swells as I try to turn my attention back to the movie.
When the movie finally ends we both sit there awkwardly in the dark, neither wanting to move and unsure how to do it without seeming rude. I finally decide to get up and I head straight for the kitchen. "You hungry?" I ask as I start rummaging through the cupboards.
"We just ate a whole bowl of popcorn," he laughs. I just look at him with eyebrows raised. "What was I thinking? This is you we're talking about. Yes, of course I'm hungry."
"Good," I answer. "What are you in the mood for? The only thing I know how to cook is eggs, but there's plenty of leftover takeout."
"How in the world are you getting takeout?" he asks as he begins moving boxes aside in our refrigerator.
"Weasley's Meal Service. Fred and George bring us food at least three times a week. Delivery boys are hideous, but what can you do?"
"So you're doing good? With this whole situation, I mean?"
"I'm getting there," I admit, sitting down at the table with a slice of pizza. Oliver joins me. "I'm still not used to it, but everyday gets a little better. I guess I'm just starting to realize that there are a lot of worse things that could be happening. I've been listening to Potterwatch like crazy and it's ridiculous all of the stuff that You-Know-Who's up to."
"Yeah, I know. I mean, I'm not saying that your situation doesn't suck, but it's manageable. You're not dead, and you're not really even a muggleborn. I've been thinking about it quite a bit and even if the Ministry did somehow manage to find you, I think we could find a way to get you out of it."
"Some days I just want to turn myself in," I admit. "It'd be so much easier and—like you said—I'm sure there is some proof that I'm innocent."
"Please don't do anything rash, Katie. Every muggleborn in Azkaban is 'innocent.' They just don't care."
"Do you think that this war's ever going to end, Oliver?"
"I certainly hope so. I mean—"
Oliver's stopped abruptly as Angelina Apparates into our flat, breathing heavily.
"Angelina, what's wrong?" I ask, making my way over to her. Oliver follows close behind me.
"Oliver!" she cries, ignoring me completely and turning instead to my companion. "I thought you'd be here. C'mon! I need your help—now! Death Eaters are at the shop. I'll explain when we get there." Oliver stands up without question.
"Katie, stay here," they both warn before Disapparating.
Still in a state of shock, I collapse back into the kitchen chair that I had vacated, frustrated and scared out of my mind. Ten minutes later, I realize that I'm not going to be able to sit still, so I take to pacing around the room. What the hell is going on?
The minutes slowly tick by and it's all I can do not to Apparate to the Weasley's to try and help. The only thing keeping me here is knowing that no matter how bad the situation currently is, I would only make it worse.
Finally, nearly a half hour after Angelina had shown up and taken Oliver off with her, a volley of cracks fills the room. I leap up from my seat and stare at the four people now standing in front of me: Angelina, worry evident on every line of her face; Alicia, who looks like she's about to burst into tears; and Lee, standing next to Ben on the back wall, both of them looking more scared than two grown men have a right to look. George and Oliver are the last to Apparate into the room, both supporting a battered and bloody Fred Weasley.
"What the hell happened?" I demand, running over and helping George lower Fred onto our sofa.
"Nothing, babe. We're fine," Fred says as a deep gash on his forehead begins oozing blood.
"You bloody well are not fine!"
"Move, Katie," Alicia says gently, pushing me aside as she begins to examine Fred's face.
"Be careful, dear," he warns her as she takes his head in her hands. "George might get jealous." Alicia ignores him and begins mending the cuts with her wand. George, however, doesn't look too jealous, only worried. I'm suddenly reminded of the night that George appeared in our flat sans his ear. God, this isn't good.
"What happened?" I repeat and all eyes in the room warily move to me. "They thought I was there, didn't they?"
Slowly, Fred nods. "They used the party as an excuse to search the shop and the flat. I got a little mad and, needless to say, they didn't take that very well…"
"Didn't take it very well?" Angelina cries. "They were about to send you to Azkaban for treason!"
"Ange, even if I had cooperated, they would have tried to ship me off to Azkaban! This whole thing with Katie is my fault—mine! They're not trying to get back at Katie; they're trying to get back at me. They didn't even throw a second glance at Ben or Lee."
"I don't care whose fault it is! If Oliver hadn't shown up, you'd be with the Dementors now."
"Thanks by the way, mate," Fred interrupts her rant to tell Oliver. He just nods his head, but looks sick nonetheless.
"Well, was anyone else hurt?" I ask. Seven heads shake. "And are you okay?" I ask Fred.
"I'm fine. Stop worrying about me."
"I'm not going to stop worrying—it's my fault you're like this!"
"Katie, no it's not," Oliver says, coming over to me. "Don't blame yourself for things that you can't control. If you were out of the picture, they would still find someway to get to Fred."
"It doesn't feel like that," I mutter. "I don't think I can do this anymore." And sadly, it's the truth. I'd much rather be in Azkaban than sitting at home watching my friends suffer to keep me safe.
"Katie, yes you can," Alicia says frustrated, still trying to finish patching Fred up.
"It gets better," Ben agrees from the opposite end of the room.
"Well, did it ever occur to you that maybe I'm not strong enough to wait?" I cry.
"More like not patient enough to wait," Fred mutters. "You're being stupid."
Fred's response angers me for some unknown reason and before my friends register what I'm doing, I open the front door and step out into the night.
"Katie, stop!" I hear Oliver yell from behind me. "Don't listen to Fred—he's an idiot."
"No," I answer stubbornly as he grabs my wrist. I yank it out of his grip and Disapparate. Seeming to read my mind, Oliver Apparates right next to me at the Ministry of Magic. Still ignoring his worried protests, I trudge up the steps. My mind is past made up and Oliver should know better than to try and change it.
"Wait!" Oliver cries again, grabbing my wrist more firmly this time.
"Oliver, I can't keep living like this!" I scream, drawing way more attention to me than I've grown accustomed to this past month. "I'm innocent!"
"They don't care!"
"Well then I guess it's off to Azkaban for me." I stomp down on his foot and he lets go of me in astonishment. Stepping into the Ministry, I'm surprised to find that it is almost full. An elderly man stops me at the door asking for a visitor's pass. Oliver's trying to explain to him that I'm out of my mind, but I have no desire to prolong this. Brushing Oliver aside, I say simply, "My name's Katie Bell; I believe you're looking for me."
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Haha. Cliffhanger.
Next time on Love and War:
"I don't think you want to do that. You see, this is my fiancée."-Oliver Wood
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