Chapter 14

XoXoXoXoX

Wearing a sleep mask to block out the daylight, Sam sat up in bed, punched her pillow a few times to try and make it more pliable before lying back down. After leaving Martin's apartment, Jack told her she had been working too many hours straight and ordered her to go home and get some sleep. So dutifully but begrudgingly, she went home, took a long, hot shower, and put on her pajama bottoms and tank top. After shutting all the blinds, she crawled into bed to try and get some sleep.

It was surprisingly welcome at first; the soft cotton sheets feeling smooth against her skin, her back slowly sinking and adjusting to the mattress as her body relaxed. She soon was nestled under the blankets as content as a baby cat as slumber overtook her.

And even though she did manage to catch a few hours of sleep, it was fitful. No more than a few hours here and there before her subconscious would rouse her, reminding her how badly things had spiraled out of control with Martin.

Her mind kept replaying her conversations with Martin over and over in a continuous loop. Wondering if she had said something different, if she had used a different tone or even ate some of her sandwich, if that would have changed the outcome. But in each case, the result was the same: she withheld information from him and he got hurt. As a result, every time she closed her eyes all she could see were Martin's blue eyes looking back at her, hard, accusing and wounded. She clenched her eyes, shutting them tight to try and block out the mental image but to no avail. Open or closed eyes, she still kept seeing his face.

She tried to rationalize that she was only doing her job, that he was the one who was being petty and irrational. He should have been more understanding about her reasons but it was neither here nor there. They were where they were and there was no going back no matter how many times she wished she could.

Frustrated, Sam rolled onto her side, pulled up the sleep mask and eyed the clock on her nightstand. The bright blue numbers illuminated: 1:15 pm. She mentally calculated the time in her head and decided that she probably got roughly four hours sleep.

Knowing that she should try and force herself to stay in bed for one more hour to be a fully-functional agent, she shoved her head under the pillow, hoping to smother her thoughts in the process. It must have worked because it was sometime later when she was roused awake. Through the goose down pillow, she heard the muffled sound of a ringing of her home phone. Sitting up, she tossed the pillow aside and reached for her cordless phone, answering, "Spade."

"Hey," Elena greeted her. "Did I wake you?"

"No, I'm good," she lied, sitting up in the bed, resting her back against the headboard and wiping the sleep from her eyes. "What's up?"

"I was trying to reach you on your cell but you weren't answering."

Sam closed her eyes; she must have left it at Martin's apartment when she put it down on the island after talking to Jack and before her argument with Martin. "I don't have it with me." She sighed, thinking that her forgetting her cell was just another indication how much her conversation with Martin affected her. "Why were you calling?"

"We found out that Fiona had been paying the gas bill on a house in Englewood."

Sam sat straight up. "I thought Fiona lived in the Village?"

"She does which is why it raised a red flag. According to the landlord, he is officially renting the house to Jonah Lewis but knows that there are about six people living there," Elena replied, sounding like she was walking and talking. "He also mentioned that they are always bugging him about installing solar panels and low energy appliances."

"Sounds like it might be the group's headquarters," Sam said, wide awake by this bit of news.

"Yup, we're on our way there now," Elena agreed before teasingly adding, "So as long as you're awake, how about putting on some lipstick, grabbing your gun and coming on a raid?"

With her phone still pressed against her ear, Sam hopped out of bed and dashed to the bathroom. "What's the address?"

"I'll come get you. Be ready in fifteen minutes," Elena replied before promptly hanging up.

XoXoXoXoX

Sam tied back her long mane in a ponytail as Mike parked the bureau SUV at the end of the street alongside the SWAT unit and a few NJPD cars assigned to block off the area. In the backseat, Sam adjusted her earpiece, leaving it dangling along the side of her neck, grabbed her Kevlar vest and opened the door, exiting the car. She put the vest on over her head and fastened the Velcro straps as she followed Elena and Mike to where Jack, Vivian and Louis stood on the sidewalk where they were gathered to discuss tactics. She spotted a few other agents from Vivian's team standing next to the group, giving them nods of acknowledgement as she neared.

"Alright, this is what we have," Jack said as he unrolled a small map and walked to a black and white police car and laid it out on top of the trunk. "Me, Mike and Elena will cover the front entrance," he gestured to the front porch of a small pale blue house down the street, "While Viv and her team cover the exits." He looked at Sam and Louis and said, "I want you two positioned at opposite ends of the back alleys. I don't want anyone to make a break for it."

Everyone broke away to get in position, Mike and Elena looking intensely focused and Louis whistling the theme song from The Andy Griffith Show as he walked around the corner to the alley. It was no secret that Louis, while an excellent agent, was also always willing to play second fiddle when it came to these sorts of things. He often joked he had more years behind him than in front of him so his main goal was to retire and lived on houseboat in Florida.

Sam, on the other hand, was fuming internally.

Irritated that she was being left out of the action, she stepped up to Jack as he began folding the map. "If it's all the same, Jack, I'd like to be involved in the actual raid."

"You are," he replied, as he folded and then attempted to refold the map. Giving up on the endeavor, he bunched it together and shoved it into the hands of a uniformed officer standing nearby and started walking to his SUV.

She got in step beside him, his longer legs outpacing hers so she had to scramble to keep up. "You know what I mean," she argued, looking around as the teams moved to get in position. "You have me as far removed as I can get. I'm basically just crowd control. I want to go in the house."

"Closer to the action?" Jack opened the door of his SUV and grabbed his Kevlar vest, starting to put it on. "You're lucky I'm letting you participate at all." He fixed his eyes on her and said, "Or did you think I wouldn't notice that you didn't get the six hours of sleep I ordered you to take?"

"I slept," she snapped back.

"You got enough sleep for someone to cover the alley," Jack replied, as he secured his Kevlar and un-holstered his gun. "And that's as close as you are getting at this point." He jerked his chin towards the alley entrance and in a placating tone said, "So get in position, wait for the all clear signal and that's when you can go in."

Subject dropped and adequately dismissed, Sam gave him a hard look as he brushed past her to join Mike and Elena near the house. Knowing when Jack was unwilling to be reasoned with, she huffed out a frustrated breath and walked to the alley.

As much as she hated being relegated to the peripheral part of a raid, she knew she still had a job to do. So Sam posted herself at the alley's entrance and inserted her earpiece. At the other end of the alley she spotted Louis, pacing. He waved over at her, signaling his side was clear and she waved back in kind.

Keeping watch on her end of the alley, she listened as Jack quietly told the rest of the team they were almost in place. A cold breeze passed through, kicking up some pieces of trash, sending them skipping across the alley. Flying through the air was a discarded candy bar wrapper and a crumpled up fast food bag until they got stuck in the prongs of a chain link fence. She was always surprised by the amount of rubbish people tossed out. Behind one house were several trashcans filled with trash from what she guessed was a recent home remodel. There was an old bathroom sink, bits of plywood, plumbing paraphernalia like rusted pipes and faucet fixtures, and broken pieces of tile and dry wall. Further down the alley there were broken bottles, old soda cans, and other odds and ends that made the environmentalist inside of her wonder why she bothered trying to save the planet when most Americans seemed hell bent on destroying it.

"Go in three," Jack's voice whispered into her earpiece, drawing her into the action.

Sam removed her gun and gripped it firmly, her eyes fixed on the empty alley but ready to act if needed.

"One, two, THREE!" Jack shouted, followed by numerous agents yelling "FBI! FREEZE!" Through her earpiece Sam heard doors being slammed, grunts, and multiple shouts that made it sound like one of their suspects was trying to run.

"Stop or I will shoot!" she heard Mike scream.

It was so loud that it took Sam a beat to realize she didn't hear it in her earpiece but somewhere down the alley. She yanked her earpiece out, trying to locate the source when she spotted a man jump one of the backyard fences and starting to make a run in her direction. He had shaggy blonde hair and was wearing a flannel shirt and worn blue jeans.

With her gaze locked on him, she raced to where he stood with her gun raised and yelled, "FBI! Freeze!"

The man stopped in his tracks, fear and panic evident in his eyes. Behind him she saw Louis bolting in their direction but still too far away to be sufficient back up. Careful, she started walking towards him with her gun trained when his gaze darted from her to a nearby fence.

In an instant she knew what he was planning and shouted, "Don't even think about it! I will shoot!"

Ignoring her warning and deciding to risk it, he jumped towards the fence, grabbing onto the top, throwing a leg over. Sam fired a shot that narrowly missed him as he pulled his body up and fell over to the other side.

"Shit!" Sam yelped as she ran towards the fence. Through the slits between the panels of wood she could see that he was running around the back of the neighboring house.

Seconds later she heard rapid footsteps rushing her way and looked over in time to see Mike and Louis running towards her.

"Where'd he go? Where'd he go?!" Mike demanded, urgent.

"Over the fence," Sam replied, jerking her chin.

Louis came up beside her and climbed the fence saying, "You go around and cut him off on the other side," before disappearing over the side to continue the chase, followed immediately by Mike.

Sam turned and ran as fast as she could down the alley. Into the mic on her wrist she said, "This is Agent Spade. Agents Eakman and Flynn in pursuit of suspect on foot." She reached the end of the alley and started to turn up the street. "They're headed west on…" she began when she was knocked down, her back and head hitting the pavement hard and sending her gun skidding down the sidewalk.

Blindsided, it took her a beat to recover, when the man from the alley was on top of her. Startled, she looked up to in time to see the suspect's fist flying towards her face and she quickly raised her left arm to block the hit while swinging with her right. She managed to knock him in the mouth, causing considerable pain to her knuckles. He wavered back slightly but it seemed to just piss him off rather than cause him any actual harm. She swung again but this time he grabbed her fist and butted his forehead to hers, sending white-hot pain through her body.

He moved off of her and she knew he was going to make a run for it so she reached up and grabbed his shirt, pulling him back. While she wasn't able to focus entirely, she was able to manage a few hits to his cheek and ears. All the pressure points they taught her in the academy. Unwilling to take it anymore, he grunted, knocking her arms away so he could wrap his hands around her neck, squeezing tightly.

Gasping for air, she reflexively grabbed his hands, trying to yank them away from her neck. His grip was so tight she couldn't even pull one of his fingers free. Realizing it was futile, she moved her hands away and reached up for his face, running her hands over his features until she reached his eyes. Using her thumbs, she pressed the tip into his eye sockets and pushed down hard.

He screamed out in pain and released his hold on her neck, pulling away from her. Seizing the opportunity, she shoved him back and used her legs to knock him off balance. She scrambled to stand up and he did the same. Unfortunately he was faster and quickly stood up, grabbing one of the discarded pieces of pipe that she saw earlier. Staring at her menacingly, his lip bleeding profusely, he spit and took a step in her direction. She stood up, blocking his exit, and scanned the area for anything she could use to defend herself when she spotted her gun a few feet away.

Her eyes darted between him and her weapon and she realized he spotted it, too. In the distance she heard shouts of agents announcing they were on their way. With a fierce look of panic in his eyes at the thought of being caught, he faced her knowing that she was the only obstacle between him and freedom. With a dark look in his eyes he ran straight towards her, wielding the pipe fully attempting to cause her harm. With her heart thundering in her chest, she dove down, grabbed her gun, aimed and fired.

The moment the bullet penetrated his chest his eyes went wide and he stumbled back, falling to his knees before collapsing to the ground.

XoXoXoXoX

Sam walked across the lawn, glancing over to where two of their suspects were handcuffed and being interviewed by Vivian and Mike. During the raid they were able to capture a young man named, Greg Barnes and a young woman, Joy Newman. Greg had greasy blonde hair and multiple piercings on his eyebrows, lips and chin, and Joy had long, red hair and pale skin. As she passed, she could hear Joy weeping openly, large tears rolling down her face. After the shooting, Sam learned that the man she had killed was the boyfriend of the young woman. His name was Scott Stone, a twenty-six year old graduate student at Rutgers.

Sam knew she had done the only thing she could in that moment. It was simple: him or her. And while she knew it was justified, just because she did the right thing, it did not make her feel any better having had to kill a man today.

As she passed, Mike looked over at her, a questioning look in his eyes. She nodded, reassuring him that she was okay. He smiled, relieved, and returned his attention to his interview. She looked ahead to see Jack standing in front of the door, watching the Viv conduct her interview. It wasn't like Jack to let someone else conduct an interview on a key suspect and just idly stand by so she strode directly to him, mentally constructing her emotional armor to ensure everyone she was fine to keep working.

"What did the EMT's say?" Jack asked as she reached the house.

She could feel him staring at the butterfly bandage below her eye. "They said I'm fine," she lied, ignoring the throbbing ache in her back and head. He eyed her, clearly doubting her truthfulness but before he could protest, she jerked her chin towards the suspects and asked, "Have they said anything?"

Knowing she was deflecting but willing to let it go, he replied, "I tried but they aren't talking – at least not yet. They are fundamentalists. They are too angry right now to be reasoned with." Shaking his head he glanced over to where Vivian was standing. "Viv's wasting her energy." He shook his head, shrugged and turned back into the house. "At least she won't waste too much time since she has to get going to the press conference pretty soon."

Sam nodded slowly, having almost forgotten about Martin's press conference. Of course, she had bigger things to worry about right now.

Following him inside, she looked around the tossed living room and asked, "What about in here? Find anything?"

Jack waved to where agents were cataloging and bagging evidence. "Well, I think it's safe to say that this is their headquarters." He motioned for her to follow him into a room in the back. "We found an arsenal, AK's, sniper rifles, and even a brick of C-4." They carefully moved around CSU techs photographing the scene through the doorway. "But I think we've pretty much eliminated all doubt that the group was targeting Fitzgerald."

Sam entered the room behind Jack and felt her breath catch at the sight before her. There was a wall filled with newspaper clippings, magazine articles, and photos upon photos of Martin: him outside his office, running in the park, having lunch, walking down the sidewalk talking with Danny or Anne. There were even a few photos of him talking with a telephoto lens of him sitting at his desk in his office, an intense look of concentration on his face as he read through some documents. Sam walked up to the wall, her eyes focused on the barrage of images.

With her eyes fixed on a photo of Martin talking with a group of people at what she guessed was a fundraiser, she asked, "He's going to be relieved that this is over."

"Who said it's over?"

Sam stepped back and looked over at Jack. "You don't think it is?"

"The landlord said he thought six people were living here," Jack replied, raising his hands. Using his fingers he counted them off, "Assuming that the landlord counted Fiona among the six, and I doubt she actually lived here but assuming he thought she did, we have her, Jonah, Scott, Greg and Joy." He held up his right hand and wiggled his five fingers before raising his left hand, only the index finger lifted up. "That leaves us with at least one more member out there."

"You don't think whoever it is will still go through with it?" she asked, surprised. "I would think he or she would be too concerned with getting out of town to still try anything."

"Or they want to act faster because they know we are on their trail," he coolly replied, looking around the room, his eyes landing on the wall of photos. "They have been working on this too long to give it up so easily."

Sam started to open her mouth to say something when she heard Elena's voice coming down the hallway. "Hey, Jack have you seen Samantha?"

"In here," Jack replied.

Moments later, Elena walked into the room, a perturbed expression on her face at the sight of Sam. It was a sight Sam recognized well. It was Elena's 'motherly face.' "What do you think you're doing?"

"Working," Sam defiantly replied, crossing her arms and preparing to stand her ground against Elena's coddling.

"I went to check on you and the EMT's told me that you refuse to go to the hospital to be checked out," Elena said, looking pointedly at Sam. "They said you hit your head pretty hard and should get it x-rayed."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Why am I not surprised that you would refuse?"

"Jack, I really am okay," she replied, defiant, with her eyes darting between the disbelieving looks of Elena and Jack. "Besides, I have to be on shift at Martin's in an hour…"

"Go to the hospital and get me a doctor's note saying that you are alright," Jack ordered, stepping forward and putting his hand on her shoulder, guiding her to the door. "And you are off duty for the rest of the day."

She stopped short and shook her head. "You cannot shut me out just because I got knocked down, Jack."

"I'm not," he replied, nudging her again to get moving. "You know the rules. Any shooting involving a special agent has to be investigated and until then I hold onto your gun and you are assigned to desk duty. You can't be on guard detail without a weapon."

"But…" she stammered, trying to think of a logical argument but came up blank. She blew out a frustrated breath, hating feeling like she was useless and inessential to the investigation before resigning herself to the fact that this was completely out of her hands.

She turned and started to the door when Elena caught up with her, wrapped her arm around her and softly said, "I know you are mad about this but you're my best friend, Samantha, and I almost lost you today." Sam looked up to see a pained expression cross her friend's face. "So if you want to be mad that I want to make sure you are 100 alright, I'm fine with that if it means you will be here every day to do so."

Suddenly feeling guilty for thinking how today's events only affected her, Sam leaned into Elena's maternal embrace and joked, "Okay, I'll go – for you – but I want an ice cream cone afterwards."

Elena laughed. "For doing this, you can have two scoops."

A/N: Big thanks to Spyglass aka Inelastic aka Grace for all her help. She definitely watches out for the devil in the details.

And big thanks to all of you who read. I know I am very bad at saying thanks for reviewing any of my stories. Mostly because I feel like Sally Field giving an Oscar acceptance speech, "You like me, you really like me..." But I truly blush at reading your very kind words. Thank you, thank you, thank you.