"So I think it's time we had a little talk between the two of us." Kankuro began seriously, when Shikamaru finally met him behind the cinema while on his 15 minute break.
Shikamaru with his hands in his pockets stood in front of Kankuro with a pretty good idea of what was going to follow. "I'm assuming you're going to tell me that if I ever hurt Temari. You'll kill me and make it so no one will ever find the body right?"
"Dude no," Kankuro waved him off quickly with a touch of alarm. "I'm more concerned about your well being in this."
"I ...uh what?" Shikamaru did so loathe responding like an idiot, but that answer had sufficiently thrown him.
"I mean don't get me wrong if you hurt her or cheated on her. I'd be rightly pissed at you. But Temari can take care of herself and is very creative if she needs to be. This is less of a talk to warn you off of her and more of a talk to warn you OF her. I mean she's my sister and I love her, but she's like 75% surly prickliness, 10% violence, 5% sarcasm, and 5% alcohol well usually."
"And the other 5%?" Shikamaru asked after Kankuro left off doing the quick math in his head.
"Love and protectiveness but that stuff's buried pretty deep." He said with a laugh. "So just to double check she isn't blackmailing or bribing you into being in a relationship with her?" Lowering his voice a bit he continued. "She doesn't have you miked does she? Blink once for yes, twice for no if she's forcing you into this."
Shikamaru thought he probably blinked over three times, because he honestly couldn't tell if Kankuro was joking or not.
Clapping him hard on the shoulder Kankuro crowed. "Good, good! Just had to be sure. Anyways, that was it and all I had so cigarette?" He offered holding out a spare from his pocket.
"I um sure." Shikamaru said taking it and using the offered lighter.
"Wow, I wouldn't have pegged you as the type to say yes but hey good to know for the future."
Shikamaru smiled before blowing out some smoke. "I do it more as recreation. It's not exactly like I can afford the habit."
"Don't I know it." Kankuro replied with a head shake. "One of the reasons I'm probably going to need to quit is because of how fucking expensive it is when it adds up."
Shifting in place somewhat Shikamaru started cautiously. "I have to admit. This is definitely not going like how I thought it would."
Kankuro chuckled taking another drag. "Oh I know what you were thinking you were expecting the 3rd degree talk. Don't get me wrong I know and love the whole protective speech thing had to kind of prod Neji and Lee into receiving one myself and creative points to Neji for using bloodletting in a sentence. However I'm a pretty good judge of character, and Temari's an adult not to mention going to make her own choices. I can determine pretty well if it's worth wasting my breath to be honest."
"That makes sense, and if it helps I don't plan to do anything to hurt your sister. I value my life too much. Not to mention I would hope to never cause her pain."
"A wise answer see you seem like a good kid Shikamaru just keep that way of thinking, and you'll be fine."
"Thanks Kankuro," Shikamaru said as he stuck his cigarette in the ashtray.
"No problem man," He answered as he did the same glancing at his phone. "Well I better be heading back those 15 minutes always feel like 3." Kankuro laughed one more time. "I still can't believe you expected me to threaten to kill you earlier. That's like threatening a deer not to hurt a lion. It cracks me up just thinking about it. Your Bambi self needs all the protection it can get." Setting off his chuckles anew.
Rolling his eyes Shikamaru chose to let that comment slide acknowledging this was probably the best outcome he could have hoped for in this situation and having an ally on his side was always promising for future potential scenarios. Who even knew how Gaara was going to react to the news.