NOT MUCH TO SAY EXCEPT THAT THIS PICKS UP FROM WHERE WE LEFT OFF AND AS PROMISED, I REVEAL THE NAME OF THE LITTLE PRINCESS IN THIS CHAPTER. DICK WOLF OWNS THE SVU CHARACTERS, THE REST ARE MINE, ENJOY!
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BRIAN'S APARTMENT, THE FOLLOWING MORNING.
He yawned and stretched as he emerged from the deep sleep he had been in, smiling as memories of last night quickly ran through his mind. He couldn't believe how good she felt, how hot the sex had been… I made her come so hard, she cried! He thought as he turned and reached over to the other side of the bed.
"You ready for more?" he called to her, only to be met by cool sheets where her warm body should be lying.
"Liv?" he called louder, hoping she'd hear him from wherever she was in he apartment as he threw the covers back and got out of bed, not bothering with his robe. He checked the bathroom before leaving the bedroom; heading down the hall to the living room, there was no sign of her there either, nor in the kitchen.
"Fuck!" he exclaimed as he put his hands on his hips and sighed.
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SIXTEENTH, OLIVIA'S OFFICE
"Benson" she answered as she looked up from the paperwork on her desk to answer the phone.
"I woke up and you weren't here" she heard Brian's voice say through the receiver.
"It's called leaving" she replied. "Good morning"
"Would have been a better morning if I'd woken up to you bouncing on my-"
"Brian, I'm at work, and I'm extremely busy plus I have to meet with the Commissioner in an hour. Is there an actual purpose for this call or do you just wanna talk about what you'd like to be doing to me right now? Because if it's the latter…" she said as she put her signature to another document.
"I get it, you're busy" he pouted
"Brian…"
"No, it's fine; I just thought that after last night…"
"Look, I'm sorry okay?" she relented, feeling guilty "I will call you later and we'll talk; I promise but I have to go."
"Yeah; later" he said before he hung up. Olivia sighed and threw her pen down on her desk just as there was a knock at the door.
"WHAT?!" she yelled in frustration. The door slowly opened and Fin peeked his head in.
"I'll come back"
"Fin, no it's okay I'm just…" she let out another sigh "Come on in" she said as she motioned with her hand.
"You sure?" he asked. He could read Olivia's moods like a book and right now, he could tell that she wasn't in a good one. She could sense his trepidation and offered him a warm smile for assurance.
"Get in here" she laughed. A smile lit up his face and he walked, shutting the door behind him. Fin always had a way of softening her moods no matter how bad they were; it was one of his more endearing qualities and she loved him for it.
"You alright?" he asked as he sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk
""Yeah, just…old stress causing new stress; but I'm handling it." she said as she walked around to the front of her desk and sat down. "So what's going on?" she asked him. just as he opened his mouth to answer, her desk phone rang and she quickly apologized before reaching to answer it.
"Sergeant Benson… Lorna, yes, I was just about to…oh? …no, no it's fine, no inconvenience…you too. Give the commissioner my best." She said before she hung up and looked over to see Fin smiling at her.
"What?" she asked
"I'm proud of you. I know I probably don't say it enough…" he grinned
"Uh, never!" she joked
"Well, I am! Your meeting cancelled?"
"Yep"
"Good, gives us time to talk"
"Shoot"
"Let me just start by telling you that I wasn't prying"
"Fin, look if this is about Brian-"
"Cassidy? He's back?" Fin was surprised.
"He is"
"And lemme guess, he wants you back?"
"So he says" she answered, scratching her eyebrow.
"Well, you're a big girl and I trust your choices"
"That's it?" she asked incredulously "No lecture?"
"None needed. Besides, he already knows that there's no way in hell he'll be allowed to keep breathing if he hurts you again, so I'm not worried!" he grinned, causing a huge smile to spread across her face.
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AMANDA'S APARTMENT
By 11am, I had already done four loads of laundry and scrubbed my apartment floor to ceiling even though there wasn't a trace of dirt or dust to be found in the first place. I was in another of my hyper moods and instead of relaxing I was using my day off to worry. I had no idea what the course of action would be after seeing Liv today; I only prayed that if it was a legal one, that Olivia would think long and hard about the probable corollaries that may stem from acting on it.
I have another appointment with my obstetrician this afternoon; god I hate these visits!
Seven weeks to go… I keep reminding myself. Seven weeks and I can kiss this pregnancy related nonsense goodbye! I woke up this morning with sore leaky nipples and horny as hell…is that even normal? I need to get laid but just the thought…maybe if I got drunk again…oh wait.
A knock at the door pulled me from my thoughts; I got up and opened it to see Sara standing there in a full-length fur coat that looked like it was made from some endangered species and I wondered what she had done to get something so extravagant.
"Where the hell have you been?" I asked. I hadn't seen her in forever and honestly wasn't sure if I wanted to now.
"That's the welcome I get after almost three months? Mandy, that's not happiness to see me!" she said as she walked past me and into my apartment.
"I guess we lost touch" I said as I locked the door and went to join her in the living room.
"I would have called but I've been so busy travelling. " she said and took a seat on the couch. "I'm seeing someone and it's getting serious! Not only that, but girl he's RICH!"
"Hmm. Who's the lucky guy?" I asked with semi interest.
"Well, I was thinking you could come out to dinner with us tonight and meet him"
"Sara, I don't know I'm really busy, I mean with work, the baby coming, getting the adoption in order; then there's the move…"
"What move?"
"To Virginia…"
What the fuck's in Virginia?" she asked, seemingly upset
"Quantico"
"Who's she?"
"No Sara, not who, what. The FBI wants me… I got in and I start my training there soon." I said and took a seat.
"When are you leaving?"
"After I have the baby"
"And when is that?"
"I'm due n April so…"
"I still can't believe you're doing this"
"Joining the FBI?"
"No, putting your body through hell so someone else can reap the benefits…your tits are leaking by the way!" she said nonchalantly. I looked down to see two wet circles on my t shirt where the milk had soaked through.
"Fuck!" I exclaimed as I got up and went to my bedroom to change. "I am never doing this again; not for any reason!" I called to Sara
"Yeah, well, I don't see why the fuck you did it this time!" she said as she approached the bedroom and stood in the doorway as I changed.
"I didn't exactly have a choice" I mumbled
"What?"
"Nothing."
"So we on for dinner or nah?" she asked. I sighed.
"What time?"
"Seven. His place"
"Text me the address" I said as I went through my dresser for another shirt
"Cool, but you already know where it is"
"I do?"
"East 81st, the penthouse" I froze. I would never forget that address as long as I lived.
"Mandy, did you hear me?"
"I heard you…who um; who's the guy?" I asked nervously, forgetting that I was still standing there shirtless
"His name is Chad, Chad Cartwright, you guys have met."
I felt like the wind had just been knocked out of my lungs and my mind immediately went back to that night.
"Look, we both know that you want it, so stop your shit!"
"Amandaaa…"
"Are you fucking kidding me? Is this a joke?" I yelled angrily then pulled my clean shirt on over my head "I mean. It has to be a joke because there is no way you would come here and seriously expect me to believe that you're dating that…"
"That what? And watch what you say, I happen to care about him!"
"You care about him? You don't care about anything but maybe for the first time in your life it'll come in handy because you cannot be serious about him!"
"Why? You want him, is that it?"
"What?!" I couldn't believe she'd just said that.
"You heard me! I already know that you fucked him. I know that he was in with the rest of the guys you let train you that night."
"I didn't "let" them do a damn thing!" I was enraged
"Really Mandy? Because that ain't the story I heard!"
"I don't give a damn what you heard, I did not have sex with ANY of them and whoever told you that…"
"Oh NOW you deny it? After you already practically confessed right after it happened? So let me guess, you let him and his guys fuck and then you wanted more but Chad didn't give it, none of them would and so you wanna destroy what I have? I never pegged you for a jealous bitch!"
"Jealous?" I couldn't stop the tears that were filling my eyes "You have no idea what you're talking about just like you have no clue about who Chad is!"
"And you do?"
"Do you think he's gonna marry you? Is that it? He's old money, his Daddy's a senator; he may use you as a good time girl but once the thrill is gone, you will be too! Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but boys like Chad don't marry girls like us!"
"Us?" She sneered "You think you're on my level? Get real bitch!" she scoffed before turning to walk away
"Sara, please; you need to listen to me!" she stopped in the doorway and turned around.
"You know what Amanda? Fuck you! And I mean that from the bottom of my heart!" she said before walking away. My tears fell hard and quickly gave way to sobs as I began tearing my clothes away from my body, suddenly feeling like I needed a scrubbing. Sara was making a huge mistake and there was nothing I could do to stop her!
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OLIVIA'S OFFICE…
"I hope you know that if it were up to me, I would have come to you sooner but I couldn't betray Amanda's trust."
"Liv, it's cool. I support you a hundred percent."
"That means a lot to me."
"So, we got a name for this baby girl yet?"
"We do… Her name is Noelle" Olivia smiled.
"Noelle…it's beautiful"
"I think so too. I'm using Amanda for her middle name but don't tell Rollins, she'll have a fit." Fin laughed.
"Your secret's safe" he chuckled. "I better get back to work. I'm glad we could talk." He said as he got up.
"Thanks Fin" Olivia said as they hugged.
"Anytime." He said before turning to leave.
After he had left, Olivia allowed her mind to wander for a moment, back to last night and how good it felt being in Brian's arms again. she sighed and was about to pick up her phone when it suddenly rang. she looked at the display to see that it was Amanda.
"Rollins, how's your day off?" she asked upon answering.
"Um, not so good" Amanda answered.
"What's wrong? Are you and the baby okay?"
"Yeah I just um…can you come over? I need to talk to you."
"Yeah, I just had a meeting cancelled so I can come by now. You need anything on the way?"
"Nursing pads"
"Nursing pads?"
"I'm leaking like crazy"
"Say no more, I'll be there in bit."
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AMANDA'S APARTMENT…
Olivia arrived 30 minutes later…
"Thanks for coming" Amanda said as she hung Olivia's coat and walked over to join her in the living room.
"It sounded important" Olivia said, warming her cold hands before placing them on either side of Amanda's belly to greet her daughter. "Hey baby girl, did you miss me?" as if on cue, Noelle began moving at the sound of Olivia's voice and gave a few swift kicks directly beneath her palm. Olivia's face lit up.
"I'm glad that she already knows you" Amanda said
"Me too" Olivia said as she straightened up to look at Amanda. "So what's going on?" Olivia asked and took a seat at the counter
"I have to give you something"
"Okay"
Amanda reached over and picked up the paper bag that was sitting on the far end of the counter by the wall before taking a seat beside Olivia.
"I um…I haven't been completely honest with you Liv"
"How do you mean?"
"Remember when I told you that I got rid of everything from that night?" Olivia nodded "That wasn't exactly true" Amanda reached inside of the bag and pulled out the smaller of the two thing things inside, handing it to Olivia.
"What's this?" Olivia asked, holding it up to get a better look at it.
"Splinters. The ER doctor pulled them out of me"
"Out of you?"
"When they…" Amanda was struggling with her tears "raped me…they um used…the splinters were inside me"
Instead of Amanda, it was Olivia whose tears fell
"Amanda, I'm sorry" she whispered
"You have nothing to be sorry for."Amanda assured her before again reaching into the bag. "I kept this too" she said and handed Olivia the sealed dress
"Is this?"
"The dress I was wearing that night. I've been holding on to them all these months…not even sure why, but I'm ready to let them go now"
"You're giving them to me?" Olivia asked; Amanda nodded.
"Noelle's father's DNA might be on the dress…maybe if you want to know at some point or…I don't know, I just…I don't need to keep it anymore, any of it."
"You're still haven't thought about…"
"I'll never be ready to do that. and I'm sorry" Amanda said as she began to cry
"Sorry for what?"
"Because I know that you must think I'm weak and stupid for not reporting it but I can't have my life put on trial for something that was done to me, I can't deal with the whole world knowing…maybe if I were more like you but I'm not"
Olivia was quiet as tears fell down her face, and after a log moment of silence, she turned to look Amanda in the eyes.
"We're a lot more alike than you think" she confessed and it hit Amanda like a ton of bricks.
"Liv; did Lewis…" Olivia bit her lip as she sniffed back her tears
"It was the first thing he did when I walked in the door and it went on all night and then every chance he got over those days that followed. I will never judge you for the way you feel because no one understands the way you feel like I understand."
Amanda was unable to speak through her tears and simply threw her arms around Olivia and hugged her tight, they held each other tight until Noelle decided to break up the love fest by kicking Amanda so hard that Olivia felt it.
"Of course she'd want to eat now!" Amanda said, making Olivia smile as she ran her hands over Amanda's belly to calm her baby girl.
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Almost to the finish line. So how do we like the baby's name, Noelle? At first I didn't want do use it because it sounds too much like Noah but then, it's such a beautiful name and I think it's absolutely perfect. See you guys next chapter.