WARNING: Major reflection chapter, lots to do with Relec and his love for Corrin.
Rebel Heart
Chapter 14: Day by Day
~ Day by Day I wake up for you I do
and I rise to who knows who
well if I can say...some other day ~
He rolled over, reaching out for the warm body next to him - the warm body that wasn't there. He did it every day, reaching for her when she wasn't there. He'd never forgiven himself for letting her go out that day by herself, she'd asked him to go with her, as she hadn't been feeling well. He sighed, allowing his eyes to flutter open, his tired gaze landing on the ceiling of his motel room. He'd refused a place at the Toretto's - they already had nine people living under the same roof, they didn't need another. But he still had so much to look forward to. Reighn was getting married, and she'd asked him to give her away. Race Wars were coming up that weekend, which meant that all the cars had to go through a check up in the garage before they went about getting gear together for the trip. And on top of all of that, he had Puck to deal with, and Johnny Tran had shown his face after a year and a half. Not a good week, not at all.
But right now, at this current moment none of that mattered. The ache in his heart was too painful for him to think about anything else. He missed her, everyday. He'd promised her years ago that if something should ever happen to her, that he would keep going and wake up every day. So he did. He woke up every day for her, hoping that maybe, one day he'd wake up to find that it was all a bad dream, and that she was really still there with him, watching him sleep like she used to. Or maybe to wake up in the middle of the night to hear her playing the piano in the living room that she'd made him buy for her.
Relec was quite aware that he was still living in the past as if it had happened yesterday. And to him it did. The girls didn't know the whole story, not really. He'd kept something out of it when he'd told them. She'd asked him to go with her, a quick run to the store for flour and milk. She hadn't been feeling well, but he'd complained, saying that he needed to be in the garage with Arizona's Race Wars approaching that weekend. So, she'd gone by herself. He'd felt rather bad about it, and had decided to go apologize and was driving on the opposite side of the road when the accident happened. She'd been tailgated by a teen who probably hadn't had his liscense for more than two days. The car had jerked forward, her grip on the wheel looser than normal because she was sick. She'd panicked as the kid bumped her into the intersection and hit the brake, stopping with the nose of her car just outside the crosswalk. The Ford F250 hadn't seen her, it's driver drunk and the car weaving. The truck hit the nose of her own little Supra and cause her to spin. She'd spun the wheel, attempting a 180 turn while putting on the gas to get out of range of on coming traffic - a racer's reflex. If she hadn't been exhausted she would have suceeded, except her mind was foggy and she'd lost control of the car, it spun, striking the telephone pole.
Someone had told him later that he'd screamed. He didn't remember though, all he remembered was vaulting out of his car and racing across the intersection, dodging cars as he went. He'd raced over to the reckage and immediately noticed the NOS leak immediately as he yelled for someone to call an ambulance as he ran over to her side of the car and ripped the door off its hinges, pulling Corrin out of the car and away from the mess of metal, wires and wood just in time as the NOS caught fire and exploded. He'd covered Corrin with his own body, recieving a few third degeee burns that reminded him every day that he couldn't save her. She'd still been alive when he lifted himself away from her, gazing down into love filled gray eyes. She smiled softly and tried to speak, but her eyes said it all and hed nodded, pleading with her not to leave him. He remembered tucking strands of her long red hair behind her ear as her eyes clouded and she stopped breathing. He'd known then, after trying for a pulse that her neck had been broken.
He didn't remeber what happened after that, though a police officer had told him that it had taken three paramedics and two cops to pry her out of his arms. They'd led him off to the ambulance to see to his burns as he slipped into a half aware state of shock. Later though, after everything was over he'd been asked if he wanted the ring. He'd stared at the man who asked and nodded numbly as he watched the gold band fall into his hand, glittering in the light. She'd loved that ring.
~ Day by Day I reach out to you I do
and I pretend there's something to it
And if I can say...I've had better days ~
Relec rolled over and climbed out of bed, wandering to the bathroom and starting the shower, stripping out of his boxers and stepping under the spray of hot water. Whoever said that grown men don't cry had never seen the state he was in. That or they were on crack when they'd said it. He cried all the time. For her, for him, for his sisters, for everything. The world could have come crashing down around him and he wouldn't have noticed. He'd gone home and waited for the girls to get home. Kittie had first, she'd still been in school at the time. She'd entered the house, a happy grin on her face, but stopped in her tracks as she saw him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands and the ring on the table in front of him. She'd walked over and sat down next to him, wrapping an arm around him and asking what was wrong, and where Corrin was. He'd looked up at her with pain filled eyes and said, "Corrin's not coming home... She died today in a car accident..."
Some days he didn't relive that day, and he'd be able to go on like a normal man his age, but recently, after Allana's accident, it had been murder. He'd lived it every day, seeing Corrin everywhere, memories coming out of the woodwork. Last night in fact, when he'd been talking to mia he'd seen Corrin in her place, standing there, smiling up at him. He'd blinked, shook his head and Mia was there again. If her were to go to a psychiatrist, he'd be diagnosed either a dillusional psycho or depressed - for lack of a better term.
Relec ran a hand over his face and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around himself and suddenly becoming aware of the phone ringing. He padded into the other room and picked up the receiver, lifting it to his ear, "Hello?"
"Rel?"
"Kittie? What's up?"
"Are you okay Rel? I - I wanted to apologize for what I said the day of Allana's accident. I didn't mean to say something like that."
"Don't worry about it kiddo."
"You coming over for the barbecue today?"
"Nah. I'm gonna go for a drive."
"Be careful?"
"I will."
~ Day by Day I resort to you I do
and I wash up after you're through
If I can say...that's O.K. ~
The wind blew through his spiked hair as he roared down the highway, having no clue where he was going - just knowing that he was going somewhere. Corrin was like that sometimes, just wanting to drive. She'd drag him off and they'd drive for miles, sometimes going so far that they'd have to rent a motel room for the night. She'd claimed it was a good way of thinking about things without having anyone there to intterupt. He believed it now as he watched a sighn flash past. San Francisco? Corrin loved San Fran. She loved the sights the sounds and smells. She'd been born there, and had actually driven them there once. They'd spent a day just wandering places like Fisherman's Warf and China Town. She'd bought one of those cheap disposable cameras and palyed tourist, having someone take a picture of them together - she'd framed that picture when they'd gotten home.
The sun was setting, and Relec decided to park somewhere for the night, as he didn't have any money with him. He reached for his phone to call the girls, let them know he was okay, but groaned as he realized that the battery was dead. He'd forgotten to charge it last night. He pulled over and got out of his car, heading up the steps of a nearby house. Corrin had done this once, asked to use the phone in the home of a complete stranger, he'd done it more than once after that. He knocked on the door and waited patiently as feet were heard coming toward the door. A young woman opened the door, "Can I help you."
"Uh, actually, I was hoping you'd let me use your phone? Mines dead and I really need to let my sisters know that I'm okay."
She raised an eyebrow, "You take off son?"
"Naw. Just got in the car and started driving. Needed to think is all. Didn't think I'd get this far."
"Well come in and call your sister. I'll make some tea." the woman said, leading Relec into the house and through the living room into the kitchen. She pointed out the phone and he went over to it, trying to remember a phone number. The only one he could think of was Reighn's. He dialed quickly and help the reciever to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Hey Ray."
"Rel? Where are you?" Reighn asked, "We started to get worried."
"I went for a drive."
"Oh."
"I really don't think I'll make it back tonight Ray. Tell the girls I'm okay and that I'll see them tomorrow." he said as Reighn shifted, "I really don't mean to do this."
"I know. It's Corrin isn't it?"
"Yeah."
"Well, you take all the time you need. Don't forget about us though."
"How could I? You're my sister Reighn." Relec said. He traded goodbyes with her and hung up.
Turning to see the woman watching him. She gestured to a nearby chair and he sat. She placed a mug in front of him and sat down, watching him. "Would you like to talk about it?"
"I dunno."
"Sometimes talking about things helps. Even with a complete stranger."
Relec smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that."
The lady smiled back at him and waited patiently for him to speak.
~ You're in my head again
You're in my bed again
You're in my mirror again ~
"How long has she been gone?"
"Two years."
"That's a long time for someone to hold on like you have. She must have been really special."
"She was. Odd habits and all I loved her. I still love her."
The woman smiled softly at him and patted his hand in a motherly way, "All you can do is go on day by day. Don't forget her, but move on anyway. She'd want you to."
"I don't think I can."
"Don't be so sure." she replied, "Do you have a place to stay?"
"No ma'am."
"Well, I'll put you up in the guest bedroom until you're ready to head home. You'll always be welcome in my home Relec."
"Thank you."
~ And if you don't mind me...I don't mind you ~
~ Day by Day I reflect on you I do
I reflect on you I do ~