AN: This one's a doozy, folks. Thanks for being patient! I started the spring semester, so it's been hectic. But I finally got time to finish this! It's super fricking long to make up for the fact that I made you guys wait over a month. Enjoy!

UPDATE (2/18/13): I've gotten multiple questions from readers about why Hitsugaya calls Karin "Karin-chan." I know that's something he would normally consider too childish. There's actually a back story to why he did that coming up in the next chapter, so it will make more sense soon. Sorry if that was difficult to follow!

The Impossible

"I really can't escape this place, can I?" Karin mumbled, rubbing her eyes wearily.

"Now, now! Don't be so grumpy, Silly Goose!" The little girl giggled, a smile in her voice despite Karin's caustic aura. The girl's hood was up, veiling her face in an eerie kind of shadow.

"What is this?" Her hands found their way to the top of her head, where a small crown of glowing daisies adorned her raven hair. She yanked it off and held it at arm's length.

"I made it for you while you were out!" She beamed, sliding off her hood to reveal a similar daisy chain atop her own head, "We match!"

"No thanks," She dropped the child's handiwork in the dewy grass, standing so that she towered over the girl.

"Somebody's grumpy,"

"Well, I wouldn't be if you just let me sleep for once!" Whoever this girl was, she was obnoxious beyond belief. All Karin wanted was a healthy chunk of unconsciousness. But no, she couldn't even have that. Maybe this girl was a figment of her imagination? A psychotic break really didn't sound all that unlikely to her. "Just who the hell are you, anyways?"

She stood on her tip-toes to tap Karin on the nose with a precocious grin, "You're so slow~"

"Am not!" She huffed in return, swatting her hand away from her face. She glanced around them, taking in the increasingly familiar sight of the meadow. The daisies still gleamed with an otherworldly light, the pale moon presiding over the scene with a kind of stoic serenity. But something felt different this time… "Hey," Her sour expression sobered, "Is it me, or is the meadow smaller?"

"You noticed, huh?" The girl turned away from her, her expression now impossible to monitor. Her suddenly solemn voice was very telling, "The trees have been getting closer."

The gnarled branches had only been visible from a distance before, seeming like a harmless backdrop to the ethereal beauty of the meadow. The forest was enshrouded in a darkness that seemed too thick to be real, and it was encroaching into the little girl's territory. It almost seemed as if the trees had a consciousness of their own as they crept forward. She didn't seem all that thrilled with it. She sighed and crossed her arms, turning to face Karin once more with a look of childish irritation.

"Why is that happening?"

"The forest won't stop edging in until your heart is no longer eclipsed." She explained with a clarity beyond her years, as if it were only obvious. She raised a hand and pressed her fingertips to Karin's chest, just beneath her throat. Her touch was warm, as if a low smoldering flame was hidden beneath her skin. "Your flame can't burn bright if it is snuffed out by lies."

She froze, looking into the girl's eyes with confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She burst into laughter, lowering her hand. "Silly Goose! You still don't get it!" She pouted comically, "I'm trying to give you hints, too."

"Quit calling me that,"

She didn't seem to hear her request, "I know! Let's play a game of hide and seek!" She clapped enthusiastically, "You're it! So go seek~"

"Seek what?"

"The truth, Silly Goose! As you start to find it, you'll start to find me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, pouting indignantly. The girl's form began to blur, dissolving into tendrils of gray smoke from her bare feet upwards. "No, no, no. You are not leaving without explaining this crap to-"

But the meadow had faded before she could finish her complaint.

In the morning, Isshin made his exit quietly and with a kind of precision employed by those who wish not to be seen by many. Of course, the questions his precocious daughter flung at him over their lukewarm hospital breakfast shouldn't have taken him by surprise. Karin's usual practice of practically inhaling her breakfast was replaced as she picked at the meal slowly. It was her father's first tip that something was on her mind. He nibbled on a slice of toast, well aware of the fact that he needed to return to Karakura soon before Yuzu woke up.

Her eventual accusation was not unforeseen by him. She set her glass down on her tray unnecessarily firmly and scowled at him. "Okay, Goat Chin. I think you need to cut the shit and come clean to me. Now." Her tone was flat, but as he searched her eyes there was the tiniest hidden spark of anger. He had to be cautious not to fan the flames.

Her mind had raced, not occupied enough by the process of stirring her cup of tea. She occasionally sipped at it, though nothing she ate tasted like much in particular. She just kept hearing the strange girl's teasing words echoing through her thoughts. As you start to find it, you'll start to find me. Her mind was a canyon, filled to the brim with a heavy current of thoughts that separated her from the rest of the world. Everything was simultaneously at her fingertips and unreachable. She realized that it was funny how paradoxes happened all the time.

Something had to be done about this.

He looked aghast, "Is that any way for a lovely young lady to speak to her gracious father?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Dad,"

He sobered, "I knew this was coming," His steady tone was a reminder that no matter how kooky he acted, beneath the ruse was some sort of level head. Even if it was nearly impossible to get through to it.

She crossed her arms, a one-woman fortress. She would settle for nothing less than the honest to God truth, and it was written all over her face. "I'm dead, Dad. And I think I deserve to know why." She tried to ignore the obvious pain that came with the statement. The facts were the facts.

He seemed to look her over for a long while, and she allowed him the time to think. When he finally spoke again, a decision had solidified in his eyes. "The people who attacked you belonged to the Kohaku family. They used to be a major noble house in the Soul Society."

"Used to be?"

He shook his head, and if she didn't know better she would've thought she saw a small bitter smile cross his face. "It's a long story. They had internal dissent that got ugly. They fell from grace in the eyes of the public and each other. In the midst of the struggles, some major players in the family were charged with crimes against the Gotei Thirteen. They insisted it was a misunderstanding, but…I'm certain that it wasn't."

The look in his eyes was like nothing she'd seen previously. It was like some unknown kind of nostalgia; reminiscent of the way war veterans talk about their old battles. She frowned, "But what the hell would they want from me?"

"The family was banished from the Seireitei, though until recent years it came to be widely believed that they died out." His gaze shifted to her, "I had some disagreements with members of the family in the past, and we were never on the best of terms. I'm honestly still figuring it all out right now, Sweetheart. But…what they did to you was very much on purpose."

Her breath caught, causing her to shift slightly away from him. If this was true –if she had indeed been a very purposeful target—that meant that her brother had been a target before her. But why? "I…I don't understand," She admitted, "If they had issues with you why are they bothering with me and-" Ichigo. She stopped short before the name that would be too hard to swallow. Did her father even know about him? It was beginning to be hard to determine which one of them was the clueless one anymore.

"That's what I'm trying to put together too," He nodded, patting her hand. "But don't worry about it for now, all right? You've got enough to adjust to. You're safe here." He stood, shooting her a sympathetic smile. "I need to get going, but I'll visit again soon. I promise."

"What about Yuzu-chan?"

The question had him stopped in his tracks, "She's just as safe as you are."

She scoffed, "That's reassuring."

He ignored her sarcasm, "It should be."

And with that, he was gone. The vacuum of loneliness left in her father's wake startled her and she wriggled restlessly in her bed. What were you supposed to do after a discussion like that? It was difficult to keep up with this world she had been tossed headlong into. But if there was anything Kurosaki Karin was good at, it was pulling herself up by the bootstraps and adapting.

And that was just what she aimed to do.

Around mid-morning, Matsumoto arrived in Karin's room in a flurry, all sake-fueled smiles. Her company was a welcome reprieve from the monotony of bed rest, and Karin was finding herself warming up to the busty blonde much quicker than she thought she would.

"I saw your father leaving and thought I'd stop by to say hello." She pulled up a chair by the bed, instantly at home.

Karin snorted, "Avoiding more work, huh?"

Her expression was colored with mock offense, "How do you know that?"

"Oh, Tosh—Hitsugaya-taicho's told me plenty."

"So how did you sleep last night?"

The abrupt change in topic didn't escape her attention, but she let it go for the time being. "Er…it could've been worse."

She probed cautiously, "Are you still having those strange dreams about those pictures and voices?"

She shook her head, "Well, the pictures are gone. They were flashbacks from before my memory was restored or something."

"And the voices?"

Karin just sighed. There wasn't much she really felt like saying about it right then. What was she supposed to do? Confess that she was regularly visited in her sleep by a creepy little girl? She was probably unstable enough as it was without making it overly abundant just how much of a mess she really was. She crossed her arms over her chest, but made no move to answer the question directly.

Her body language was enough of an answer for Matsumoto. A small frown flitted across her face and she looked at Karin with fresh eyes. Before her was a girl who was forced to grow up too quickly, not terribly unlike herself when she was her age. With her exceptional lineage and all that she'd been through recently, would it be all that unbelievable if something had majorly disrupted her soul's natural progression?

She took in the sight of the Kurosaki girl's face. There was a feminine softness that would never go away, but with a sharpness in her eyes that seemed much too old. There was an overwhelming sense of being lost, in Matsumoto's eyes. A feeling she could empathize with all too well. Could it be that Karin's zanpakuto spirit had awoken early from all of the activity that was going on in her life? She had forced her reiatsu into some form of crude maturity in life, so did that mean the consequences of such an action would carry over into death? She was no scientist, so she couldn't fully draw the conclusion herself. But that wouldn't prevent her from trying to lend a guiding hand.

Her gaze softened and she tilted her head toward Karin, "I can't stay long, but I can show you something that may help. Do you have much experience in meditation, Karin-chan?"

He loved her. Perhaps once he even thought himself to be in love with her. But that was a long time ago. Hitsugaya found himself across the table from the girl who used to be so dear to him. His childhood friend and confidante had been so changed by the manipulations of the dirt bags around her. Well to say that Hinamori Momo was no longer dear to him would be inaccurate, but as he took an impatient sip of his tea he could feel his nerves fraying ever so slightly.

It was in her posture. The stiff squaring of her shoulders as if she were terribly conscious of herself. It was in her laughter. Trilling and edged with nervousness. He'd once thought it pealed like wind chimes; now it rang out with a kind of hollow ache, a shadow of what it used to be. It was in her everything. She'd recovered amazingly from the hell she'd been dragged through, but there was still something missing. Deep down, they both knew it. She worked so hard to appear fine, like she had it together. But there were cracks in her armor that never went unnoticed by him.

"Hirako-taicho actually did a lot of extra paperwork for me so I could come out with you today," She smiled delicately, swirling her soup with her spoon. "He's been so good for me and for the division."

"That's good to hear," He nodded absently, "I'm just glad you're not saddled with all the work for the Fifth anymore."

"Oh, it was never too much trouble."

That was a falsehood to end all falsehoods, but he let it go. You had to pick and choose your battles, and this was one that he didn't feel the need to fight for. She would begin to admit the simple truths to herself soon enough. She had to. And he knew she was well on her way to a full recovery. Her heart had become like a bird, wings fluttering as if constructed of sheets of paper. Thin, wind-blown, and looking for refuge. But she was a grown woman now, he had to remember. She could take care of herself. A weariness about her had settled in his bones, one that made him feel deeply guilty.

But that weariness was not without company.

Now whenever he closed his eyes, he saw her. She was all stiff joints and blue lips, a corpse. Cutting sarcastic glares and biting remarks, a girl turned to a ghost before her time. He couldn't recall the last time he'd spoken to her that hadn't been some kind of argument. Even before she—

Died.

He flinched at the finished thought.

Funny, how a so-called god of death could find guilt in something so familiar.

Death.

It was a shinigami's own strange bedfellow, and one that had frightened him for the first time.

Kurosaki Karin was nothing but trouble.

"Shiro-kun? Is there something on your mind?"

Impossibly blue eyes shifted up from where they had been staring into his cup, as if he'd been searching for the secrets of the universe in his jasmine tea. He shook his head slowly, "It's nothing you need to worry about, Hinamori." He frowned, "And for the last time, don't call me that."

She giggled her hollow giggle, "Whatever you say," She usually liked being scolded by him. It was the closest they had gotten to playing in a long while; the only game they had left. But this time something felt wrong to her, as if he'd tacked on the order merely out of obligation. Something was definitely on his mind. Smile fading, she took a sip of her soup and let her gaze wander out the window.

This felt like an obligation, the same as filing paperwork. He needed to sit through their lunches and tea breaks because he cared for her. But he was figuring out that he didn't care for her in the way that he used to think he did. Their relationship suffered a permanent fracture. And for the first time, he didn't really know if he wanted to repair it to the way it used to be. Or if it was even possible.

Across the Seireitei, Kurosaki Karin was eating her own lunch. Or, it should be said, had eaten her own lunch. She wasn't entirely certain if it was all this damn emotional stress or what, but since she'd woken in the hospital her appetite had become insane. She sighed, a bored look in her eyes as she traced her chopsticks along the edge of her plate. She glanced at the nurse, whom she'd come to know as Hanatarou, as he scribbled something on the chart that hung off her bed. She'd been freed from her IV and heart monitor that morning, but the medical staff had still been ever-present as always.

"Hey, Hanatarou?"

"E-eh?" He glanced up at her, a deer in the headlights, "Yes?" It was still quite a shock to be called by his first name like that, but he didn't mind. Nobody ever really liked to act familiar with him like that. It was a welcome change of pace. Of course, Karin hadn't thought much of it at all.

"Do you think I could have seconds?" She grinned sheepishly, gesturing to her empty plate.

"Oh! Um…I have to examine someone, but there is a cart of food just down the hall. You can take another plate if you'd like since they always have extra." He gestured loosely to the door, "Walking a short distance like that would be good for you anyways, since you're likely to be released soon."

"Really?" A full smile burst across her lips.

He nodded, "Of course, Kurosaki-san."

"Sweet! Thanks!" She moved the plate to the bedside table, slipping out of bed with a surprising amount of energy. Hanatarou noted that she was bouncing back very quickly, which wasn't all that surprising considering who her brother had been. The two split ways at the door, Hanatarou disappearing around the bend in the hall.

Finding the cart was easy, the smell of warm stew easy to spot amid the mostly sterile hall. Her fingers clasped tightly around a tray, her stomach grumbling quietly. It wasn't her sister's cooking by a long shot, but it would do. She froze, the tray barely hovering over the cart's surface. Her body tensed as the light rhythm hit her ears. It was a rhythm she had become very familiar with.

A heart monitor.

It was a strange thing to hear, since her room appeared to be the furthest occupied room in that wing of the building. She'd never seen any of the staff go further than her door. So…what was a heart monitor doing in operation on this end of the hall? What Rukia said about visiting somebody suddenly hit her, and she quietly set the try down. She was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to be wandering any further. It wasn't like she wanted her nurse to get in trouble for something she did but… With a glance over her shoulder, she gave fully into temptation.

The rhythm led her to a firmly closed door. Without an ounce of hesitation, she grasped the knob tightly.

Hitsugaya was drifting in and out of focus on their conversation. Their bowls had long been emptied, his tea cooled to an unappealing lukewarm. She chattered enthusiastically about some joke Izuru had told her the other day, struggling cutely to not forget the punch line.

"So then the baby tomato is struggling to keep up and-" She paused, pursing her lips, "Ah! The daddy tomato got really impatient. So he goes over to the baby tomato and you know what he does?"

He shook his head.

"He squishes him! Just like that. And says, 'ketchup!'" She giggled, but didn't much expect him to laugh along with her. Though it would've been nice…

He cracked a small smile for her, lips parting in some kind of response. But then he froze, his grip tightening around his cup. A flare of reiatsu piqued his attention, distant but most definitely familiar. It ebbed and flowed before rising to a sharp peak and crashing down like a freak wave. "Did you feel that?"

She tilted her head, "Feel what?"

How had she not felt that reiatsu? Sure it was distanced, but it was intense. It felt like it was coming from around the—

Fourth Division.

It had to be Karin. He must have been in tune to her reiatsu after babysitting her for so long in the human world. But should she have even been capable of that kind of energy? She was supposed to be on bed rest. A knot settled in his gut, and he tried to coax it away as he stood. Concern was natural, after all her wellbeing was his assignment.

He rifled through his pocket for money, throwing the coins down on the table. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

He was gone before she could even say goodbye.

She tore the handful of daisies from the earth by the roots, soil flinging into the air. She kicked at the debris, a strangled shout of frustration leaving her lips. The ghostly forest seemed to be closing in even as she watched, like it was alive. But she couldn't give a shit about the trees. Not this time.

The little girl sat unfazed in the grass, eyeing her from beneath her hood. "My, you come here often. Only this time you found your way here without me! Good job!"

Karin turned to glare at her, "I don't want to be here right now!"

"How ruuuuuude!" The girl stuck out her tongue, "As you start to find the truth, you'll find me. Remember?" She skipped to her feet, balancing on tip-toe to touch Karin's forehead with her fingertips.

Her eyes widened, the warmth from the girl's touch radiating out to lap over her entire body. She stood stock-still, unsure of what was happening, but unable to look away from her intense gaze.

The glint in the girl's eyes suddenly looked like it belonged to someone much older. "You know who I am, Silly Goose."

The word formed in her mind, shapeless at first but beginning to feel round and full on her tongue. "Nisshokuko*,"

Hitsugaya found the Fourth Division in an uproar. Nurses struggled against Karin's unhinged reiatsu, trying to calm their patients. He rushed forward, turning down the familiar hall only to find the bed in her room empty. His stomach dropped.

He was fairly certain he knew where he'd find her.

He took off down the hall, weaving through the nurses as they ran around in confusion. He immediately spotted the open door, eyes narrowing. "I'll handle this." He instructed the nurses, holding out an arm in front of Hanatarou to keep him from approaching the doorway.

"I-I'm so sorry sir," He stuttered, "I think this is all my fault."

"Save it for later,"

Hitsugaya hadn't been prepared for what he walked in on, though he should have been. Karin had flung herself across the hospital bed, her face buried in the blankets. The fabric balled up in her fists where she squeezed too tightly. He couldn't make out what she was saying… No, she wasn't speaking. She was whimpering.

Kurosaki Karin was crying.

The realization struck him hard. Kurosaki Karin, who didn't cry when her brother almost died on her after the Winter War. Kurosaki Karin, who didn't cry when her brother really did die on her. Kurosaki Karin, who was unraveling before his eyes. Maybe Hinamori hadn't been the only one pretending to be fine. If he hadn't known the reason for her tears already, he would've thought it was impossible. Oh, but he knew alright.

Kurosaki Ichigo lay motionless beneath the covers, unmoved by his baby sister's cries.

The boy captain reached out to lay an unsure hand on her shoulder. She immediately whirled around, cutting him to the core with her gaze. Her eyes were rimmed in red, but she had effectively stifled the tears. His attention flitted to the edge of a blade in her hand, noticing it for the first time. It was a handsome katana, gold and silver ribbons woven around the handle. The guard appeared to be circular, a crescent moon superimposed over the sun. He'd never seen a sword like that before. A zanpakuto. But…how?

She didn't point her blade at him, choosing instead to deck him in the face. Her fist was shaking. "You weren't going to tell me?!"

He resisted the urge to rub his jaw, where there would no doubt be a bruise soon."There was no guarantee that he would wake up within your lifetime. We didn't want to endanger you with false hope."

She sent him a glare that could kill. "Bullshit,"

"I tried to tell you earlier. In the graveyard. But you wouldn't let me speak." She attempted to hit him again, but he caught her fist. "You must calm down, Kurosaki."

She had frozen, rapt in his gaze, but her energy did not lessen. His hand tightened around her fist and he slowly lowered it, not letting go. Her reiatsu was almost tangible, a gauzy curtain of interwoven black and gold. It flickered, unstable and unrelenting.

He coaxed her fist open, but didn't release her hand. "Kurosaki, please."

She still refused to obey, looking away from him like a stubborn child. He tightened his grip on her hand, pulling her closer to himself. In a matter of seconds, she went from enraged child to total confusion. Her arm was pinned between them, and for the first time she noticed just how much she had to look up to see into his eyes. How much his heartbeat skittered when he was angry with her. How his skin was impossibly warm, and—

Then he put his fingertips to her forehead, her eyes growing too heavy from the kido spell as she finally slumped against him. He caught her, knowing the wave of relief that was probably hitting the nurses as her reiatsu finally shut off. He held her close for a moment, dead weight in his arms. Kurosaki Ichigo, the object of all of their struggles, had not awoken in the mess. It was beginning to become doubtful that anything would wake him.

He shifted Karin, lifting her so he could carry her properly back to her bed. "I can handle this," He reassured no one in particular. He was just about to leave when a small spike of reiatsu hit him. It was a mere whisper, hardly noticeable after Karin's little tantrum. But it was there. He turned to look at the substitute shinigami. Had he been the source? It was then that he noticed the small ring around the boy's finger begin to glow a little. It was the same sort of ring Urahara had given Karin. The setting that had once held a small flat black stone now only held shards. But the shards slowly began to fuse, a small measure of the gem growing back as if it was alive.

He took a step back. Just what was going on there?

"I think all she wants from you is an apology."

Hitsugaya didn't bother to look over his shoulder at his lieutenant as she entered Karin's hospital room. Staying around like this was merely a precaution in case she woke up again, guns blazing. He tried to sound uninterested, "For what? I am not at fault for what's happened."

She came to sit beside him, crossing her arms and flipping her hair over her shoulder as if it was just too obvious for her to even bother speaking.

He crossed his arms too, watching the steady rise and fall of Karin's chest as she slept. "I was only following orders."

She frowned, "But even you protested them in the beginning."

He couldn't disguise the irritation welling up in his gut, "They were to keep her safe."

"That doesn't change the fact that we took the things she loved, lied about it, and then abandoned her." She knew the feeling of isolation all too well. She could only imagine how Karin felt, going through so much at such a young age. It was a heavy cross to bear. She made a point to look her captain dead in the eyes and say the one thing she could be one hundred percent sure of, "I think all she needs right now is a real friend."

AN: *Nisshokuko essentially means Eclipse Child. I thought it went well with the moon theme that her father and brother have going on.

Also, I know that recently it was revealed in Bleach that all shinigami academy students get basic blank zanpakutos to imprint their own spirit on, but I came up with this plot point before the chapter came out. So I'm still going with manifesting zanpakutos yourself in this story. So sue me. x) I've brought up a lot of questions, I know. Now that the basic info is out, all the big reveals will happen at a more sane pace, I promise.

Oh, and if anyone knows what the joke Hinamori told is from, you get a cookie.

Thanks for reading this whopper. Let me know what you thought!