Tommy couldn't lie, when he found out that Oz had left, that Jude was free of him, he was relieved, but it was also painful to watch her walk around for days, in a zombie like state. She had always been so controlled by her emotions, and they were always reflected in her work. It killed him to keep his distance from her, but he knew that she needed time, she needed to come to terms with what had happened, and he too needed to understand what had happened. She had given him that look when she told him, and the phrase she used. It was one he remembered well, from a night be remembered well. They had been locked in a room in the building, it was her seventeenth birthday, the night they both admit their feelings without using words. The night he told her that she knew why things hadn't worked between him and Sadie. She in return used the line on him, and he wasn't sure how he should feel about it know, how to react to her. He tried to make their time together short, talking only when needed. But they were still working together.
The music filled the both, and Tommy knew that May was singing along, but all he could focus on was Jude's face. She seemed like she was in a different world, and he wondered if she was even listening to the song. But he knew, from the way her nose would scrunch up and her eyes would dart from May, back to the computer screen, that she was listening. He just wasn't sure if she liked what she heard.
"Isn't it great?" May laughed when the song came to an end. "I mean I think White Lines would have fit me better, but this one, it grew on me."
"Yeah." Jude nodded. "It sounds-It sounds the same."
Those were the words that made Tommy know, she was only being nice, that wasn't what she really thought. The slight change in her tone, they way she shifted on the couch, he could read her, he always had been able to.
"How about an honest opinion?" he asked.
She paused, and Tommy knew she was looking for the right words.
"It's good, it all sounds good." Lies, he knew she was still lying. There was something she didn't like.
"I know, he's got magical fingers" May said taking his hand. He was to wrapped up in facing her, that he didn't notice.
"Good?" he asked. He wanted the truth from her, she had never been one to hold back, but he knew that she was now, and it bothered him. He had wanted to think that they would always be honest with each other when it came to music. That was why they were so good together behind the sound board.
"Yeah." She clapped her hands together and gave him a smile, one Tommy knew was fake. "I promised Lou I'd let him go home early tonight." She headed for the door.
"Thanks Jude, I'm really glad you love the song." May was still smiling, and Tommy knew that her smile was fake as well. May still wasn't happy with Tommy.
"Umm-yeah, it's good." Tommy could see the confusion and annoyance in her eyes. She didn't love the song, and he was sure that she didn't even like it.
It only took him a minute to react, looking down at his hand, pushing May's away from him. He got up and followed Jude out of the room, he reached for her arm, making her stop. "Jude." She turned around and he could see the sad smile. "Good?"
"Yeah, it's good." She nodded. "Good days work Quincy, I'll see you tomorrow." With that she left quickly, making sure she was in front of Big Lou this time.
"What was that about?" he heard May ask from behind him.
He rubbed the palms of his hands on his temples, trying to help process the information. "She hates it."
"Did she say that?" May asked.
"She didn't have to say it." Tommy sighed. "It was all over her face, and she never uses the word good to describe a song." He could see the instant anger set in May's features. "Good means mediocre, I don't want you to have a good song, I want it to be great."
"Tom, I think the song is great, I love it." May said crossing her arms in front of her.
He sighed loudly, and hit play again, allowing the room to fill the all the different sounds. He knew that everything was perfect, the drums, the bass, the guitar, and even May's voice. But as he sat there, taking in each sound, he figured it out. "It's the same."
"I would hope so, we just listened to it two minutes ago." May huffed.
"No, I mean it's the same as Jude's. We hardly changed anything." He laughed feeling stupid. He knew that she didn't like covering someone else's song, and she didn't like hearing other people do her songs either. But to sit and listen to the song, and having it sound just the same, he was stupid for not seeing it earlier. "You're perfect, it's me, I didn't change anything."
"I didn't want anything changed." May said simply standing up. "I'm going to tell D that the song is perfect, and finished."
