A/N--- Part 1 of this chapter. It was just too long to fit all in one chapter so I have split it and when you lovely people have had chance to read and review I will add the second part.

Hope you enjoy.

The TARDIS landed with a crash in it's normal spot on the Powell Estate, after everything in the parallel universe, they had all ended up back here, back in the estate, even Pete. But the Doctor had no time to ponder the irony of it all, he just ran straight out of the doors, almost forgetting to close them and made his way as quickly as possible up to Bucknall House.

He ran, the pain of Rose's death making every step an exquisite agony, but he ran, fighting back tears as he went. He had to know, had to say sorry. Had to tell her at last that he loved her, that it was always her. He always loved her. Oh God, he always loved her and yet he had had to say goodbye on the Bay, he loved her and he still sent her away, hurt her, broke her, all for his own stupid fear.

He reached the door and slammed his fists against it as if the door itself were keeping Rose from him. He threw his fists against it so hard that he could hear his own knuckles grazing and bleeding with the force. Finally the door swung open. Pete Tyler stood before him, when the door opened the man behind it stared at the Doctor, his face coloured with anger and pain.

"She's not here. Go back in your box and don't come here again." It was short and simple and full of an agony that the Doctor himself was tainted by.

"Please, where's Rose? Pete, I have made a lot of mistakes in my past and nine hundred year is a lot of past…but leaving Rose was the worst mistake I ever made. I need her and I know that she needs me. She called out to me. Pete, where is she? Where's Rose?" The Doctor pleaded with the man, this was the closest to begging that he had ever done but he was not ashamed, this was for Rose, he would do anything for her.

"Like I said, she's not here. Why should I tell you anything else? You abandoned her without even giving her a reason. So why now? How can you just expect to come back and take her again? She can't go, not even if she wanted to. Things aren't ok Doctor. You leave and run away, you don't wait to see the consequences do you? Well this time there were consequences and Rose paid them." Pete spoke softly as if each word pained him, his face was pale and drawn. A cry echoed from behind him and he sighed as he moved to comfort his son. The Doctor followed him inside, a nervous sweat inching across his forehead. He needed to see Rose, he needed to know that she was still alive, still Rose.

"Pete, I know what I did was stupid and I know that I hurt her, but I need to know…is she still…is she ok? She's not de…she's still Rose isn't she?" The Doctor barely managed to stutter the words out. He couldn't remember feeling like this about anything except Rose, it was always Rose. He would break down, beg, die just to know that she is alright.

"What?" Pete's head whipped around and he stared at the Doctor wide eyed and the little colour in his face drained away. He lifted Chris into his arms. "You…I thought you'd know?" He just stood there looking at the Doctor, confusion etched on both their faces. "You telling me you really don't know?"

"All I know is that a part of her called out to me, I know that she was in danger…in…in pain." He could hardly bear to say it. How could he feel his own pain when he had left Rose to this, when he had left her to die?

Pete lifted his free arm, indicating for the Doctor to come into the flat, he obliged. Pete's hand then swept over his face and he exhaled heavily.

"I thought you'd know. God. Ok. When you left her she wasn't great and Mickey took her out to bars and pubs to try and cheer her up you know. But…"

"Pete is she alive? Is she ok?" The Doctor interrupted impatiently, he was desperate to know.

"Yeah. Yeah she's alive. But she's in hospital. She was uh…she was attacked and…" The Doctor didn't wait for him to finish, he leapt out of the flat as fast as he could and he ran. Nothing would stop him now. The wind rushed violently around his ears as he ran, his coat swept out behind him and all the sounds of London, life, was drowned out by the frantic pounding of his feet against the concrete.

The grey of the city was overwhelming, he was drowning in it. The oppression of the cold stone surrounding him as he pelted through the crowded streets closed in on him and everything seemed to be slipping into a lifeless blur. Lifeless, Rose, cold, trapped, Rose.

He reached the door gasping for breath and his legs trembled and ached beneath him, partly from his running and partly from fear of what he would find in the hospital. He made his way to reception,

"Please, I'm here to see Rose Tyler."

The woman at reception was kind to him and after a few questions told him which ward to go to. She felt so sorry for the man in front of her, the man that was pale and shaking, the man who looked so afraid and so, so alone.

The Doctor paused as he reached the door to the ward, he hated hospitals. He remembered the last time he had been to one with Rose, she had kissed him, or her body had, it was of course Cassandra who had made her kiss him. But just the memory of Rose's lips, her smell, the touch of her hands as it had worked through his hair. He missed her so much, in more ways than he had ever imagined that he could. With a deep breath he pushed the door open, but what he saw before him took the breath straight from him.

A/N--- What is in the room? Is it Rose dead? Is it Rose dying? All will be discovered in the second half of this chapter. But please review as I don't want to be adding chapters if no-one is enjoying them.

This chapter was dedicated to all who reviewed. Especially you guys who have stuck with me through the whole story...you know who you are!