Sink or Swim
Chapter 14
Mac glanced over at Claire as they were at the makeshift pantry.
"Find any peanut butter?" she asked.
"Yeah," Claire answered. "Thanks for coming with Aaron and me."
Mac smiled, holding Aaron. "It's no problem," she answered. "Are those marshmallows?" she asked, shifting Aaron in her arms, grabbing the bag. "Now, if I had chocolate and graham crackers, it would be perfect smore's time."
"Like this?" the young woman asked, taking out a box of graham crackers and some chocolate, grinning.
"Oh your mother just made my day, Aaron!" she informed the infant. "Can you put them in my bag?"
"Of course," Claire answered. "So maybe you and Sayid can make smore's tonight."
Mac laughed. "For some reason, I don't see Sayid as the smore's type."
"You never know, maybe you can introduce them to him," she offered. "Jack told us about the guy in the armory. Do you think he's a threat?" she asked concerned.
Mac looked at her. "Yeah, I do," she answered. "Did Jack tell you that I kept Sayid from killing him?"
Claire nodded. "I'm sure you had your reasons."
"I didn't do it for him, I did it for Sayid," she explained. "He's a threat alive, but he's even more of one dead," she stated. "I'd never do anything to endanger anyone's lives," she told her.
"I know," she answered. "I wouldn't have asked you to come with Aaron and me if I didn't trust you or if I thought you would have endangered our lives," Claire stated. "Something else is bothering you today, what is it?"
"Didn't get much sleep the past couple nights," she explained.
Claire looked at her. "I thought we were friends," she answered.
"We are Claire," she assured her.
"Friends don't lie to each other," Claire reminded her.
Mac sighed, turning to look at the younger woman. "I saw my youngest daughter running through the woods, asking for help," she answered.
Claire looked at her. "Did you tell Sayid?" she questioned.
Mac nodded. "Yeah," she answered.
"What did he say?" Claire questioned.
"At first he thought it was a dream," she reported.
"It wasn't though was it?" Claire questioned.
Mac shook her head. "I know it wasn't, Claire. Whatever it was, it certainly was not a dream," she answered. "Do you think I'm going crazy?"
Claire shook her head. "If you said you saw Paige, I believe you. Some of us have seen Walt, and that's impossible," she stated. "The important thing is that you know what you saw," she told her. "You ready to go back?"
Mac nodded. "I told Sayid I loved him," she informed the other woman.
Claire grins. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," she answered smiling, going into the camp. "Here you go mommy," she said, handing Aaron back to Claire.
"Thanks for coming with me," she repeated.
"Anytime," she answered as Claire walked away. She noticed Jack walking away from her and Sayid's tent. "Jack?" she called after him. "Looking for me?" she asked, catching up to him.
"Actually, I was looking for Sayid," he explained. "You haven't seen him have you?"
"Not since earlier this morning, Nathan came by and asked him for help with something," she explained.
"Nathan?" he asked. "Who's Nathan?"
"Really Jack? You seriously are asking me who Nathan is?" she questioned. "He's one of the tail survivors, came into camp with the rest of us. You know as a leader, you should probably have made it top priority to know the newcomers' names. Basically, someone could come in here, take Nathan and you would never know because you don't know who he is," she accused, crossing her arms.
"I've been busy," he explained. "I'm sure you don't know all of us yet," he countered.
"Jack, there's forty some of you, there were seven of us," Mac countered, shaking her head. "Plus, I can pretty well assure you I've made some effort to know more than seven's people's names."
"I'll meet Nathan," he offered.
"You don't get it do you Jack? This has nothing to do with you not knowing Nathan," she stated.
"Then what is it about Mac?" he questioned.
"Well first of all, I think the thought should have crossed your mind to say thank you for saving the POW's life the other day," she informed him.
"POW? Are we in a war now?" he asked.
"Why don't you tell me Jack? I'm not the one who started building an Army with Ana," she pointed out. "I've been curious about that Jack. Did it ever cross your mind to come to the two people who were actually in the Army?"
"You had your panic attack," he reminded her.
"Bull," she stated. "You didn't go to her until the morning after. I have a theory if you want to hear it," she stated.
"I have a feeling you're going to tell me even if I said I wasn't," he answered.
"When they kidnapped Kate and put a gun to her head, it became personal. You wanted revenge," she informed him.
"It became personal when Ethan kidnapped Claire and hung Charlie from a tree," he countered.
Mac shook her head. "Not like this," she stated. "You hoped that if you stayed out of their way, you could keep under their radar. Then we come into camp, bringing Sawyer back almost dead, and Walt missing. And we told you about what we went through, but you still held out a brief hope that you could avoid conflict. Then Michael decided to go after Walt, and you decided to go after him, but you still wanted to avoid any type of conflict. But then Kate got kidnapped, and that changed the rules in your eyes. You came back here, and you started planning for a war, because it got personal, because it involved Kate," she responded. "You didn't come to Sayid or me because we would have told you can't make logical, clear and concise decisions when you let personal feelings get involved."
"That's exactly what you did when you went into the armory the other day," he pointed out.
"I admitted that Jack, when I went in there. I pointed out that I was probably the best one to calm Sayid down," she stated. "But, I would have done it for anyone Jack," she stated. "Why are you looking for Sayid?" she questioned.
Jack looked at her. "I'm going to trade our guest for Walt," he responded. "I'm planning on asking Sayid to go with me," he admitted.
Mac stared at him. "It never crossed your mind to ask me if I wanted to go?" she asked shaking her head. "Of course it didn't, Jack, because you don't trust me."
"Excuse me?" he asked.
Mac shook her head. "You don't trust me, Jack. I might have been on that plane, but because of where my seat happened to be, I wasn't able to earn your respect or trust or prove myself. The only reason you even trust Ana a little bit is because you happened to meet her before the flight," she said, sighing, starting to walk away. She turned back to look at him. "By the way, Jack, do you know what I did in the Army?"
"No," he admitted.
"Army intelligence," she responded. "During Desert Storm, I was responsible for POW's in Iraq, and I gathered Intel on the enemy," she informed him. "But of course that expertise would be of no use in this situation."
Mac took inventory of what was going to be sent ahead to Iraq, making a list, turning when she heard a knock on her office door.
"Enter."
"Lt. Grayson?" the man asked, coming in.
Mac immediately saluted. "Major," she greeted.
"As you were," the man instructed. "I'm Major Rodriguez," he introduced. "I'm trying to meet most of the division heads before we deploy. I know that getting a new Commander two weeks before deployment isn't exactly an easy thing to adjust to," he responded.
Mac nodded. "Major Kingley's heart attack was very much unexpected," she commented. "He seemed to be in such wonderful shape."
The major nodded. "I knew Tom, he was in excellent shape," he agreed, sitting down. "But I believe things happen for a reason and we all wind up where we are supposed to be."
"Yes sir," she answered, unconvincingly.
He laughed. "You can speak your mind; Lt. I'm not going to hold it against you just because you don't agree with everything I say."
Mac sat behind her desk. "I'm not so sure I believe in destiny, Major, or fate for that reason. Major Kingsley had a heart attack; you were next in line for a command, simple as that."
"Nothing is that simple, Lt. Grayson," he pointed out. "Anyone could have gotten this command, they could have promoted someone in the division, or moved someone in the unit," he explained. "But, I got transferred from Germany to take over this division, I don't call that a simple coincidence."
Mac nodded. "I see where you may have a point," she agreed.
"Just keep an open mind, that's all I'm asking," the major responded.
"Yes sir," she answered.
Mac saw Jin walking away from Bernard, as she's walking to the beach. "Hey Bernard, what's going on?" she asked.
Bernard sighed. "Trying to get us rescued," he stated. "But everyone seems to be resolved to be stuck on this island forever," he answered, sitting down.
Mac sat down. "I see I'm not the only one having a frustrating day."
Bernard looked at her. "What's wrong?" he asked.
Mac shook her head, standing up. "Don't worry about it, Bernard, let's build your SOS signal."
Bernard stood up. "Only if you talk to me while we're doing it."
Mac gave a small smile. "Deal," she answered, picking up some rocks.
"So, what's got you frustrated?" he asked.
Mac sighed. "Want the short or long answer?" she questioned.
"We've got nothing but time," he reminded her.
Mac smiled. "I'm just feeling underappreciated by some people here, Bernard. It's no big deal, actually, and I really don't understand why I'm so aggravated by it. I usually don't give a damn about what people think."
"We all want to be told that we're appreciated, and complimented on our strengths. And we especially want to be told thank you when we do something that helps someone else," he stated. "Let me take a guess, Jack?"
"Yeah, how did you know?" she questioned, placing a rock down.
"Jack seems to be good at thinking about himself and those closest to him. He sometimes forgets that there are other people who can help out," he stated.
"He didn't even know who Nathan was, Bernard. There were seven of us who came into camp and he can't even be bothered to find out our names?" she asked, irritated.
Bernard put down the rock and went over to her. "I can't speak for Jack, but I want to thank you," he said with a smile, hugging her.