I'm pacing the living room, back and forth, like nervous fathers outside a delivery room. I'm pretty sure I've carved out a couple bazillion fibers in my mom's nice rug. Then suddenly, the door to the fame room swings open, and out come my parents. They don't look too different. In fact, they look exactly the same, but instead of sad, lost looks, there's serious "I mean business" looks.
"Bell, sit down," my mom says softly. I plop down on the plush chair across from my parents' loveseat, where they are sitting, in a very Jon and Kate plus 8 fashion. Yeah, I'm old school. There's no good reality television around these days, so I watch old box sets my mom had when she was a teenager. Besides, one of the twins even babysat me when I was little.
"We know these few weeks have been hard on you, because they've been hard on us," my dad started. My mom just looked ahead, trying to be supportive. I just nod because it's true. I feel like I'm being suffocated by my own family.
"You can probably tell Daddy and I are having issues. Daddy's workaholic tendencies have always been a strain in our relationship, from day one," my mom said. Hmm, I've never known that. Maybe I'll ask Grandmarie or Aunt Mitchie about that.
"And it doesn't help when your mom completely shuts herself off from the world," my dad adds. My mom sends him a snarky look, but it's all in good fun.
"Daddy and I can fix this, if we try really hard, to go back to the way things were, but it'll take a lot out of all three of us," my mom chirps. What does she mean by that?
"Mommy and I are scared that if we try to mend our relationship, we'll make it worse. We don't want your dancing, social life, life potential, or any part of you- and baby Aria- to suffer, just so your mom and I can have a shot at this," my dad continues. Okay, I really don't like the sound of this. You guys have already had your shot! And you made it! So what the hell is the problem now? Plus, my dancing hasn't suffered. I mean, the last time I danced was…okay, point taken.
"So it's up to you. Daddy and I could end this right now, and give up, so you guys don't have to be put through the wringer. Or, we can try and work it out, but who knows how long it'll take? We just want you to know the options, because we'd never choose without consulting you first. You're our first priority, not each other," my mom says. You know, for this not really loving each other right now thing, my parents seem very cooperative and still carry a united front.
"That last part is BS," I snip playfully, in an attempt to lighten the mood and get my parents to stop these shenanigans. You have no idea how many PDAs or "I love yous" I've heard in my life between my parents. It's a miracle I've been an only child for fifteen years. I only get a light chuckle from my mom. They can't just end it like this.
"What do you think, honey? About the whole shebang?" my mom continues, prodding me for a response I don't have.
"How would this…healing…process go about?" I am at a loss for words, because all I want is for things to go back to normal, without any hard work from me. What I really want to do is just scream and ignore things until everything is hunky dory. I really dislike any kind of pressure.
"Mommy and I are thinking about going on this couples cruise the View suggested. It's only a week and maybe you could stay with Aunt Mitchie or Uncle Shane," my dad says. Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. In fact, it kinda sounds fun, on both ends. Maybe a little alone time is all my parents need to rekindle the spark.
"What about your job?" I spew. Wow, smooth Bell. That's the last thing to be worried about when your parents are contemplating divorce without saying the d-word. My parents crack smiles.
"That's the last thing to be worried about right now, and the duet is done. I'm back to the community center forever," my dad explains and my mom gives him a lovey glance. Aha! Step one complete.
"Okay," I blurt, appalling myself and my parents.
"Okay what?" my mom asks, her eyes popping with anticipation. I can tell my mom really wants to try and make it work with my dad, but my dad just looks lost with no idea how to fix things. God mom! Step up to the plate! And dad, fucking get yourself together!
"Okay, go fix this, whatever it takes. Have fun on your cruise. Bring me back a shot glass," I say and I get up to watch old dancing tapes.
"That's it?" I overhear my dad asking my mom.
"Wow, I thought that was going to be harder," my mom replies.
"Well, wanna go out to celebrate?" my dad asks.
"Celebrate what? Our marriage not completely dying?" my mom snaps wittily. That's the Caity my dad loves, and it shows cause he plants a semi-awkward kiss on her forehead.
"Come on, we can go eat at Fanta Chinese," my dad pleads. Wow, he must be incredibly desperate to suggest that place they call a restaurant. It's a fast food joint on in El Monte. I will admit, the food is decent, but it's horrifically unhealthy and it's not in the safest part of L.A. For god's sake, it's across the street from a CVS and a motel. And my dad NEVER wants to go there, because he's a safety and health nut. He can't even down his chow mein without counting the calories in his head.
"Really? You'd sacrifice that for me?" my mom asks in wonder and looks deeply into my dad's eyes.
"Sure. Sacrifice is what we're about, Caity," my dad responds genuinely. My mom responds by planting a big wet one on my dad, out of nowhere. Ickkk. I think I'm gonna look away now. It's gross, but I'm kinda happy things are on their way to going back to normal.
"What was that for?" my dad asks in surprise.
"For making your wife, and your always hungry daughter, very happy," my mom says with a cheeky smile.
"All with Chinese food?" my dad asks, still in shock.
"Nope, something more," my mom replies cryptically, and wanders away.