AN: Nothing much to say this time 'round, except: Thank you lovely reviewers; what are the rest of you waiting for; good luck to all of you heading back to school; and OMG MY BLOODY VALENTINE CHAPTER. I may love this just a little too much.

Chapter 14: My Bloody Valentine

"You know, we look like we're on a double date," Eli said with a slightly malicious smile. "You two make quite the cute couple."

She was sitting next to Castiel and across from Sam and Dean in a fancy restaurant on Valentine's day, looking for, of all things, a Cupid gone rogue. Dean scowled and made a covert inappropriate hand gesture in her direction, but the truth was that they did look like they were on a romantic double-date: the table dotted with heart-shaped confetti, the boys in jackets and ties, and Eli in a short black dress with her hair swept up. She was even wearing soft makeup, with the result that Castiel had barely looked away from her all night.

It was moments like this, like when they had been stuck inside of the television shows, that Eli realized how utterly crazy her life was. A half-angel and her fallen-angel lover, across from the vessel of the devil and his brother, the vessel of the Archangel Michael (who also happened to be her father), in the middle of the apocalypse, waiting to kill a Cupid. On Valentine's Day. It felt like the setup to some extremely complicated bad joke.

"Have you been reading slash fanfiction again?" Sam asked wearily, picking at his salad. Eli winked at him.

"There's a website up called So Wrong It's Right. They have a name for it now, too…"

"Please, don't," Dean moaned.

"Wincest," she finished gleefully, snorting into her pasta.

Castiel looked around the table, perplexed. "I…don't understand this conversation," he finally said, making Eli laugh harder.

"It's okay," she said, patting his shoulder. "I'll tell you later."

"No, you won't," Dean growled. He had barely touched his burger and was looking at it with vague disinterest. Eli decided to be merciful and let the matter drop.

Somewhere in the middle of a conversation about Wolverine vs. Spiderman ("Wolverine, of course," she scoffed. "Adamantium claws, hello?") Eli felt Castiel's hand on her thigh. She stiffened in surprise. The angel had been more publicly physical as of late, but it was always regulated to a soft brush of fingers against her arm or a hand pressed lightly on her back. Not like now, his hand very warm and creeping higher up her bare leg under the table, until it was almost past her dress.

She kicked his chair. "What are you doing?" she hissed quietly, glad the brothers were enmeshed in their own conversation. He jerked his hand away guiltily.

"I am sorry," he said in a soft voice, sounding a little confused. "I…don't know what came over me."

"Yo, Cas," Dean said loudly, oblivious to their whispered confrontation. "We've been here half an hour and nothing. You sure the Cupid's gonna be here? What, you just happen to know he likes the cosmos at this place?"

Castiel looked relieved at the distraction. "This place is a nexus of human reproduction," he said stiffly. "It's exactly the kind of garden the Cupid will come to … to pollinate." He finished the sentence with a slight blush on his cheekbones. Eli thought it was just adorable.

Dean sighed and pushed his burger away. "Wait a minute," Sam said in a worried voice. "You're not hungry?" He shared a look with Eli and she raised her eyebrows and shrugged. Truthfully, she was worried too. Dean facing down all kinds of demons, monsters, and angels, she was okay with. Dean not eating? That was trouble.

"I'm not hungry," he said distractedly, scanning the room as if he expected the Cupid to pop up out of nowhere.

Eli was even more surprised at the sound of Castiel's voice, sounding oddly excited. "So you're not going to eat that?"

As one, they all turned to stare at him. After a moment Dean gave a jerky 'go ahead' signal and Castiel eagerly pulled the burger to his side of the table, picking it up and preparing to take a bite. Eli just stared at him with an open mouth.

Suddenly he dropped the burger back onto the plate. "He's here," he announced quietly, staring at a spot a few tables over. The three hunters instinctively turned to look. Sam and Dean saw nothing, but Eli could sense the hazy outline of light and warmth, very weak, nothing like the fiery strength of the warrior angels she was used to coming into contact with.

"I don't see anything," Sam complained. Castiel nodded pointedly to the spot where he was staring.

"There."

The Cupid's presence had caused a light wind to pick up, magically ruffling the sparkly heart decorations that hung from the ceiling. On the other side of the room, a couple began ferociously making out.

"You mean the same-side-of-the-booth couple over there?" Dean asked skeptically.

"Meet me in the back," ordered Castiel, and he was gone. Dean sighed.

"I…"

"Hate it when he does that, we know," Eli said, shrugging on her jacket and standing. "Shall we, gentlemen?"

They found Castiel outside, holding up one hand with splayed fingers as if grasping something that wasn't there.

"Cas, where is he?" Dean asked, looking around, his hand nervously straying to the knife in his belt.

"I have him tethered," Castiel said in a voice of great concentration. He chanted in Enochian under his breath, finally insisting: "Manifest yourself."

"I love it when he's all demanding," Eli breathed to Dean. He turned to her, scowling.

"You seriously have to stop saying that stuff," he grumbled. "It's freakin' weird."

"So, where is he?" Sam asked restlessly, just as Dean was enveloped in a very big, very naked hug.

"Here I am!" a gleeful voice called out, squeezing Dean tight.

"Help!" he whimpered. Sam and Eli were torn, unsure if this was an attack or simply a…cuddle attack.

"Ooh, help is on the way!" the Cupid cooed happily. "Yes it is, yes it is." The naked man spotted Castiel and rushed him, wrapping his hairy arms around the petrified angel. "Hello, you!"

"This is Cupid?" Dean asked, dazed. Castiel's eyes were nearly popping out of his head at the force of the hug. Eli began to giggle uncontrollably.

"Yes," the angel wheezed. The Cupid finally dropped him, running now at Sam with a huge, dopy smile on his face. Sam shook his head, backing away, but the Cupid caught him and snuggled him with a sigh of contentment.

"Is this a fight?" Dean asked frantically. "Are we in a fight?"

The Cupid turned his attention to Eli. "Last but not least!" he sang out, nearly skipping over to her. Eli stopped giggling and held her hands out warningly, but he batted them away and hugged her with a bone-crushing grip.

"Too naked!" she gasped out. "You're too naked to be hugging people!"

"I'm just in the clothes God gave me," he said smilingly, finally stepping away from her cringing form.

"This is their…handshake," Castiel explained dully. Dean shot him a look.

"I don't like it!" he exclaimed, his voice going up several notches. Castiel's tone was long-suffering, as if he had been through this before.

"No one likes it."

The Cupid sighed in deep contentment and turned to Castiel with a dreamy look on his pudgy face. "What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Put some clothes on?" Eli suggested.

"We want to know why you're doing it," Castiel said, ignoring her. The Cupid scratched his head, looking like a large, naked teddy bear.

"Doing what?"

The Cupid was genuinely confused; even without the ability to read minds, Eli could tell that he was harmless. There was just no way this big child-like oaf was responsible for the slaughter of innocents. He, of his own admission, "loved love," and would never go out of his way to corrupt it. He even started to weep when they suggested the possibility, though it was almost—almost—worth it to see Castiel attempt to comfort the teary naked cherub.

"You said you were just following orders?" Dean asked. Cupid nodded. "Whose orders?"

Eli raised an eyebrow, noting how Dean sounded oddly outraged at the cherub's preternatural happiness and joy.

Cupid laughed. "Heaven, silly, heaven. All angels have the ability to mark humans but we cherubs—" He paused to puff out his bare chest with pride. "We're the only ones who have it as a job." He turned to Castiel, wagging a finger at him. "And don't think I can't see the brand you put on this little lady here." He wrapped an arm around Eli, squeezing her affectionately. "She's lit up like a Christmas tree. I'm always telling you warrior-angels that you need more love in your lives."

"Brand?" Sam asked cautiously. Eli's face turned bright red as she struggled to get out of the Cupid's grip. Castiel opened his mouth to try and defuse the situation but Cupid plowed right on, oblivious to the awkwardness.

"Oh yes, angelic markings. Very powerful stuff. Looks like these two are, well…" He raised his eyes to the sky and spread his arms expansively, finally allowing Eli to escape. "Mated for life." He sighed happily, turning back to them. "Heaven's not too happy about it, but I love to see love conquer all."

Eli cleared her throat. "Let's, uh…get back to the conversation at hand," she said in a hoarse voice. There was a moment of silence as the two brothers stared at her. "Please," she added.

"Yeah, fine," Dean mumbled, turning his attention back to the cherub. "So why does heaven care if Harry met Sally?" he asked, aggressively stepping toward the naked man.

"Oh, mostly they don't," Cupid said merrily. "You know, certain bloodlines, certain destinies. Oh, like yours." He beamed at the brothers.

"What?" Dean said in a voice that suggested he was trying very hard to stay calm.

"Yeah, the union of John and Mary Winchester," the Cupid said, nodding deeply. "Very big deal upstairs, top priority arrangement."

"Are you saying that you fixed up our parents?" Dean snapped hotly. The angel, oblivious to the danger the older Winchester was radiating, continued blathering happily.

Eli blanched when he called them a perfect couple, then again when he began to sing. She knew what was coming, could feel Dean's bubbling anger, how close he was to erupting, so she turned and slowly walked back into the restaurant, not even seeing Dean's fist connect to the cherub's face.

"Whoa!" Dean exclaimed a few hours later as he and Sam popped open the briefcase Sam had confiscated from a demon. A bright light shone out of it for a moment, then flared and zipped away, leaving the case empty.

"What the hell was that?" Sam asked, looking around him wildly, as if to see the light lurking someplace in the room. From the bathroom, the sound of softly running water could be heard.

"It's a human soul."

The brothers turned to see Castiel standing there, a White Castle bag in his hand. "It's starting to make sense," he continued, digging in the bag for a foil-wrapped burger and opening it.

"What about that makes sense?" Dean asked, eyeing the bizarre sight. "And when did you start eating?"

Castiel nodded, taking a bite and waving the rest of the burger at them to emphasize his point. "Exactly. My hunger – it's a clue, actually."

"For what?" they asked simultaneously, watching him dig in.

"This town is not suffering from some love-gone-wrong effect," Castiel said through a mouthful of burger. "It's suffering from hunger. Starvation. To be exact…Famine."

"Famine?" Dean asked in a voice that clearly conveyed Oh no, not this again.

"As in, the horseman?" Sam clarified.

"Great," Dean moaned, covering his face with his hands. "That's fucking great."

"I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food," Sam pointed out, leaning against the wall, hands shoved in his pockets, face thoughtful.

"Yes, absolutely," Castiel said, nodding enthusiastically and taking another bite of burger. "But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something – sex, attention…"

"Well, that explains the puppy-lovers cupid shot up," Dean said thoughtfully, unconsciously mimicking his brother as he leaned against the wall and hooked his thumbs on his belt.

"Right," Castiel confirmed. "The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it."

"Okay, but what about you?" Dean asked, eyeing the binging angel. "I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?"

Castiel sighed and stared at his burger contemplatively. "It's Jimmy," he said with resignation. "His appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect."

The sound of running water stopped.

"So Famine just rolls into town and everyone goes crazy?" Dean asked, sounding both skeptical and exhausted.

Castiel began to eat again, talking through his food. "'And then will come Famine, riding on a black steed.'"He finished quoting and paused, tilting his head and scanning the room. "By the way, where is Eli? It is possible that all of you have, or will be, effected by Famine."

Dean subtly moved to stand in front of the closed bathroom door. "Ah, look, Cas, I don't know, it might not be a good time for you to see her, what with the Famine and all." He nodded pointedly to the half-eaten burger in Castiel's hand.

"What?" he asked, confused, but then understanding dawned on his face. "Oh no, you don't have to worry. I'm being affected by my vessel. It's a human weakness that is causing the hunger. My angelic nature will remain immune to Famine."

Dean and Sam shared a skeptical look, but said nothing.

The bathroom door opened. "Oh, hey Cas," Eli said cheerily, walking towards the closest bed in comfortable clothes, casually drying her hair with a towel. "The hot water in my room doesn't work so I thought I'dummphhh!"

The moment she exited the bathroom Castiel had dropped his burger on the ground and strode over to her, pushing her against the wall and covering her mouth with his.

"Mmphh, ahh…" Eli managed to shove him slightly away but he just turned his attention to her neck, his hands roaming her body with abandon. "Uh, Cas? What is going on? Not that I mind the enthusiasm but there are people in the room…um…could you get off? Cas?" The angel made a low, inarticulate noise in the back of his throat and pinned her closer to the wall, doing something with his teeth to her neck that felt good but was sure to leave a mark later. She looked over his shoulder with wide eyes. "Guys? A little help here?"

Dean just stood there, looking like he was torn between laughing hysterically and freaking out. Sam was finally the one to push himself off the wall, grab the back of Castiel's trench coat, and haul him bodily off of Eli.

"Damnit, Cas, what is it with you and pushing me into walls?" she snapped as soon as she could breathe again, tugging embarrassedly at her clothing and smoothing her damp hair back into place.

The angel shook his head like he was coming out of a trance, and his eyes cleared. "What…" he started, looking around at the three faces staring at him. "Oh. Oh. Forgive me. I suppose I am… more affected by Famine than I realized." He looked at the ground, shamefaced.

"Famine?" Eli asked sharply. "Like the horseman? But I thought that was just with hunger?"

"Yeah, well, hunger doesn't just mean food, apparently," Dean said. Eli's face turned brilliant red.

"Famine's hungry," Castiel said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, still looking at the ground. "He must devour the souls of his victims."

"So that's what was in the briefcase – the twinkie-dude's soul?" Dean asked, watching the angel cautiously. Eli stood very still, listening, a little unsure as to what was going on, replaying what had just happened in her mind and blushing, her freckles tinted red. Castiel risked glancing at her for a split second and instantly regretted it; he found the flush spreading over her cheeks to be almost irresistibly adorable. He just wanted to cup her face in his hand and run his mouth over her…

No. No no no. He stared at the floor fiercely, trying desperately to fight Famine's influence. "Lucifer has sent his demons to care for Famine, to feed him, make certain he'll be ready." His voice came out harsh and stilted.

"Ready for what?" Sam asked. Castiel turned his eyes to him, eager for the distraction.

"To march across the land."

"So, what, this whole town is just gonna eat, drink, and screw itself to death?" Dean asked incredulously.

Castiel blanched at the word screw. "We…we should stop it," he stuttered lamely, shoving his hands in his coat pockets and returning his gaze to the ground. Even when he was not looking he could feel her, feel the mark he had branded on her soul as if it was burning, calling to him.

"Yeah, that's a great idea," Dean said in a sarcastic voice. "How are we gonna do it?" He paused, waiting. Castiel continued to stare at the ground. "Cas!" he finally barked. "Eyes up here!"

Eli cleared her throat. "Maybe…maybe I should leave. You guys can fill me in on the game plan later, okay?" She edged out of the room, catching Castiel's eye for one brief second. His pupils were unnaturally dilated and his hands were shaking slightly, like a junkie dying for a fix. She tore her gaze away and hurried outside.

He watched her go. It was painful, physically painful to stand there and let her leave when every fiber of his being was screaming at him to follow her and finish what he started, to pull her to him and feel how soft her skin was against his, and taste her mouth, and hear his named moaned breathily…

"Cas! How do we stop it?"

"How did you stop the last horseman you met?" Castiel asked, still staring at the door.

"War got his mojo from his ring," Dean said, sharing a look with Sam. "And after we cut it off, he just tucked tail and ran."

"And everybody that was affected, it was like they woke up from a dream," Sam said, understanding dawning on his face. "You think Famine's got a class ring too?"

"I know he does," Castiel said harshly, finally turning to them. "And we better get it quickly. Very, very quickly."