Hello, so i know you've had another longish wait for this chapter but I hope you like it! Thanks SO much to everyone making it a fav story, spurs me on to keep on going with it, PLEASE keep up the reviews! x

Chapter 14- Cookie Monster

Sunday, 00.15am- Naomi

"Look Ems it was just one kiss, it was nothing!"

"So why didn't you tell me?"

"I…I don't know, I didn't think it was worth telling you over nothing"

"You kissing Cook isn't nothing…did you fuck him?"

"What! NO! It was just a kiss!" "Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh like you told me when you fucked JJ!"

Shit, I regret it as soon as the words are out of my mouth and I hear a strange muffle come from Emily! When I dare to glance at her instead of looking hurt a fire seems to burn in her brown eyes and her reply is so sarcastic and out of character it cuts me as she speaks.

"Oh nice, are you ever going to stop using that against me!"

Silence falls between us but there are still a million things I want to say but not like this, not in anger or defence at each other.

And before I have a chance to at least try and explain Emily breaks the silence.

"When?"

She doesn't elaborate or look at me as she speaks, instead her gaze is focused on my feet.

"Em why does it matter? It was a stupid kiss…once"

I know I'm being unnecessarily defensive about it all, but my internal defence system seems to be kicking in and answering for me before I have the chance. As if she can sense my hesitation, Emily carry's on and I know she's determined to get a better answer from me.

"Then tell me?"

Emily

I don't know why I cant let this go, it feels like I've just been punched in the stomach knocking the wind out of me and I'm trying really hard to keep my voice calm but I know I'm failing.

I mean we all have pasts, this could have happened ages ago before anything even went on between me and Naomi. She even has a right to use JJ against me, I'm hardly in a position to argue that one, but there's something about her body language and the defensive tone she's using, that she always uses when she doesn't like where a conversation is going. There's more to it, something she's not telling me.

It feels like I'm in the middle of a horror movie, like I know I should look away, stop watching, turn it off before I scare myself and find out the one thing I don't want to. But just like when I watch those films, I've become transfixed and now I cant let it go, I have to find out what she's hiding.

Naomi

"Cant we just leave it?"

"No…I don't think we can Naoms, not if this. Us. Is going to work."

Fuck, why cant she just let this go? If I tell her surely that's just going to make it worse, what good will it do, I cant go back and change what I did any more than she can with JJ. It's not the kiss that's the problem but the timing of it, I know what it will do to her.

A foreboding feeling comes over me as I stand there and the seconds pass away, if I don't tell her she will walk away and if I do tell her then I don't know if she will ever come back.

Jesus just be fucking brave Naomi, you cant loose her over this so if telling her is the only way.

"Election day…"

My voice is so small I barely hear it as I give her an answer,

"What…" She finally looks at me, her eyes wide and for a second I don't think she heard me,

"The day Cook became student President"

Emily takes the tiniest of steps back but she may as well have run a mile as the distance between us grows.

Emily

I can see Naomi's lips moving but it sounds like her voice is miles away and I automatically take a step back. My stomach churns and I find myself inhaling, willing myself not to throw up. I've never seen the expression on Naomi's face before, a look of total fear as her bright blue eyes stare back at me. Before I know it the words are coming out of my mouth but it doesn't sound like me anymore.

Naomi

"You mean…the day after you fucked me and then left me by the lake?" Her voice breaks slightly at the end and when I raise my head a fraction I expect to see tears in her eyes but as I stare into Emily's face all I see is betrayal.

"Yes"

As I give her my one word answer my voice has become so small I barely hear it but in the silence of the bathroom it feels deafening as it bounces off the walls.

Emily's expression changes as her cheeks become flushed, she gives a small shake of her head before turning her back on me and walking out of the door way, not making eye contact with JJ.

"Emily…please!"

Emily

I barely notice pushing past JJ and heading directly down the stairs. Squeezing past the people still lining the staircase I don't even notice if I've bumped into them or not. My mind swirls and as I pass the living room the sound of the music still sounds distorted in my ears, as if I'm not really in my own body. The mixture of alcohol and MDMA are starting to kick in along with my brain trying to process what's just happened in the last couple of minutes.

Finally making it out into the orange glow of the street lights my stomach lurches and I throw up into the side of the low wall outside the house, thinking how different I felt less than an hour ago when I had sat there waiting for Naomi.

The back of my throat burns as I straighten up, taking deep lung full's of air, trying to get the nauseous feeling to pass.

After a few more seconds, my breathing starts to return to normal and I slump onto the side of the wall again and notice the tears slowly falling down my cheeks, I wasn't even aware I was crying and angrily brush them away.

Fuck Ems, now your doing exactly what you accuse Naomi of doing. Running away from something when you don't like what you hear, but I cant stop my imagination going into overdrive and all I can see is Cook and Naomi.

His arms wrapped around her neck, grabbing at her hair, pulling her into him as he kisses her and what hurts the most is knowing she did all that less than 12 hours after we had finally slept together.

How could Naomi not realise that she had just tainted that perfect memory of our first time together by the lake that night, destroying how special it had been for me at being brave enough to admit to her and to both of us finally showing how much we wanted each other.

My focus slips as I stare straight ahead into nothing and I realise something, yeah Naomi told you she kissed Cook, but Jesus you didn't even give her the chance to explain anything.

Why didn't you just give her the chance to explain, for all you know it could have been Cook that kissed Naomi.

God Ems you know what he's like always trying it on with her, ever since you've known him, asking her for that willy waggle.

But then why get so defensive about it? Why not just tell me right after it happened? My mind runs back over that day at college, how we had barely seen each other let alone talked to each other about what had happened at the lake the night before. That morning I'd told Naomi to be brave and want me back but all she had done was put up her usual defensive wall and just outright avoided me until coming round later that night where we shared that moment through the cat flap with Naomi asking, "Cant we just sit like this, for a bit?" Yet all along she had known what she did that day with Cook and my stomach churns, threatening to make me throw up again.

As the memory dies, I replace it with all the times I've seen Cook and Naomi together, how he always goes out of his way to talk to her, using that nickname, Naomikins. How she never stops him right away from trying to touch her up, the smirk she lets appear across her face when she thinks no one's noticed as he makes his usual inappropriate joke about something.

The way they always seem to find each other at parties, one of them always having a bag of MDMA on them to get fucked off their faces with.

Shit what if this was all some sort of fucked up experiment for her and she was just using me to test herself to see if being with a girl is what she really wants, God knows she's normally done enough MDMA or coke and drank enough when we end up having a fumbled and rough shag at one of these parties before she returns to everyone, to Cook, before carrying on with the drugs. Shit, why did I never see all this before?

A couple wander past me, hand in hand, swaying slightly as the guy drapes his arm across the girls shoulder and places a sloppy kiss on her cheek making her giggle as they disappear into the night. I watch them go and realise that all the things I've just been thinking, the internal battle I've just had between what I actually know and what my imagination are making me think I know are nothing more than jealousy and paranoia.

I place my head in my hands and try to block out the strange orange light from my eyes, just let it go Ems, let it go before you screw everything up! I sit like that for a few seconds before noticing the strange buzzing near my hip then realise it's my phone going off.

"This party is like beyond shit. Home? Kx"

As I read the message for once I'm glad to have Katie to go home with and now I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and shut out all the fucked up feelings from swirling round my head,

"Yeah, outside on wall" I punch in my reply, having to concentrate more than normal on typing out the message, before moving down the wall slightly away from the pool of my sick.