Anakin was careful not to bother Padmé in her office too often, but occasionally he just couldn't resist. He always found a plausible pretext, and never overstayed his welcome, so he was bewildered one evening when Padmé asked him not to stop by the delegation's suite for the next two days.
"Why? What have I done wrong?" Anakin demanded to know from the shelter of her lap.
Padmé smiled disarmingly and ran her fingers through his hair and down his throat in a way that made him crave more. Anakin was torn between feeling horribly rejected and wondering where her fingers were going next.
"You haven't done anything," she said, letting her fingers trace further down his chest. "It's just that I need to get a huge amount of work out and it won't happen if you drop by."
"I never stay very long. I didn't know that I keep you from working. I'm really sorry…."
Her fingers hushed him before they want back to tracing their deeply interesting path. "It's not you. It's Dellia. She has a terrible crush on you, you know."
"What?" Anakin stared up at her. "What do you mean?"
Padmé laughed. "She's useless for ages after you visit. I can't afford to have her daydreaming and forgetting things for the next couple of days."
Anakin puzzled about this unexpected piece of information for a while, not knowing what to do with it, while Padmé's fingers continued their explorations.
"Surely you have noticed," Padmé prompted. "You know – with that exceptional Jedi awareness?"
Apparently not.
"I only see you," Anakin said defensively, "Whether you are there or not."
Don't stop, he urged when her fingers unaccountably stopped moving.
Padmé came back to herself, startled, and realized that she had drifted off on some shadowy train of thought or other. It happened often lately, and the meditation she was learning didn't seem to help.
Suddenly it struck Padmé that she was sitting, in uninterrupted peace and privacy, in her own home, with Anakin lying in her lap. He was magnificently well and healthy. They weren't in hiding. It had not been necessary to feign illness to get this time alone with him. No one was shooting at him or her or about to tear him out of her arms to feed them both to beasts. There were no pressing demands on her attention for meetings or other obligations.
Padmé looked down at the man in her arms, who had gotten bored with waiting for her idle fingers to go further and had begun a systematic search for a way into her silky one-piece garment, although for the moment it was defeating him. In fact, all her dearest wishes and desires about Anakin had come true. She looked at him in wonder. He was right here, and he was all hers, so why had she been drifting off in her thoughts to some place that left her with a lingering sense of foreboding?
I am such a fool, she thought.
Anakin caught the part about being a fool and felt the shift in her attention, and happily burrowed his way further into her lap. This evening was already close to perfection. But it was about to get even better.
"Yes, you are a fool," he said contentedly. "You should spend more time thinking about me."
"I am now," she said in a way that promised that all of Anakin's wishes were about to come true, but then a cloud seemed to settle over her and she became serious again.
"Anakin, do you know how lucky we are to be together right now?"
"If you want to call it luck, go ahead," he sighed, deducing from her sudden change in mood an indefinite postponement of whatever had been about to happen.
"What would you call it?"
"Sheer determination. Never giving up. Being willing to break any rules and go to any lengths so I can lie here in your lap and do battle with whatever that thing is you're wearing."
Unaccountably Padmé felt stinging tears behind her eyelids.
"I've cost you a lot, haven't I?"
Anakin wondered where all this was coming from.
"What's wrong?"
A tear dropped and splashed on his cheek. Anakin sat up and rearranged himself so that he could hold her close.
"I don't know. I don't know what's wrong. Suddenly, I'm scared. It's strange," she stopped and wiped a hand across her eyes, "but everything is finally going well and I'm more scared than I have ever been. Something feels terribly wrong, and it's getting worse all the time."
Anakin didn't have any answers. He didn't perceive any unusual dangers. "You're worried," he finally suggested. "You're worried about Balé coming."
"Yes. No. That's not it." Padmé took a deep breath and clung to Anakin. "I'm afraid of losing you. And I don't know why."
Anakin was about to ask whether she had any idea how absurd that sounded after everything they had been through together, but then thought better of it. Hadn't they married to make sure nothing could force them apart? And now she was worrying about it again. For Anakin their hard-won time alone together was sanctuary – sacred, inviolable, and not to be encroached upon in any way. He didn't know where her fears were coming from, but dwelling on them could only make them worse. And discussions like this one could go on forever.
It was time to take action. He deliberately chose an approach that was sure to get him in trouble but had a high probability of distracting her.
"Well," he said theatrically, "if you won't pay attention to me, I guess Dellia will…"
"Not if I have anything to say about it," Padmé muttered, and elbowed him.
It was working.
"See, the thing is," he whispered into her ear suggestively, "you have to use me or lose me…"
This time he ducked because it wasn't so much an elbow but something closer to a right hook that was heading his way. He wrestled his way around it and ended up grabbing his partner and the keeper of his soul bodily and throwing her over his shoulder.
"This isn't very subtle, Skywalker," Padmé complained while being summarily carried to the bedroom. "Suppose I want to have a long and depressing conversation?"
Anakin didn't care. In the process he had found what he was looking for – some kind of fastener that promised an opening to the wretched thing she was wearing.
"You don't," he assured her. "What you really want is to pay attention to me."
Padmé was pretty sure he was right about that.
"Besides," he added as he dumped her onto the bed and cheerfully bounced onto it beside her, "I don't know what you're worried about. "As far as I know, I'm almost impossible to get rid of."
"I wouldn't know," Padmé mumbled as she willingly conceded his victory. "I would never try."
* * * * *
After having Dellia's crush pointed out to him Anakin began really to observe her for the first time and was astounded to see that Padmé was right. Dellia always got flustered as soon as she saw him. He reached out with the Force to confirm his observations and immediately regretted it. What he encountered was downright embarrassing.
He had no idea what to do. His first thought was to design some kind of Force block, but he was hesitant to try. He didn't know her that well, and if it didn't work, the extra attention from him would make the situation worse.
Even after his visiting ban was over Anakin was afraid to step into Padmé's office for fear of running into Dellia, so he stayed away. He thought his struggle was a private one until he walked in on a conversation between Padmé and Sabé in which they seemed to be extremely amused by the ease with which a powerful Jedi could be turned into a quivering coward.
That did it.
That was also what gave him the idea. A terrible, wonderful, awful, perfect idea. As soon as the plan was clear in his mind Anakin began to scan the Senate building regularly for a certain Force signature. He had to wait for a couple of days, but finally a long-awaited confluence of individuals occurred, much like a favorable conjunction of planets in the Zodiac. When it did, Anakin moved fast.
First, he made a call.
Not long after, some of Dellia's dreams unexpectedly came true when Anakin appeared at her desk, looked directly into her eyes, and greeted her warmly.
Dellia thought she would breathe her last. Her heart began to race.
He sees me, she thought. He is finally noticing me!
Not only did Anakin notice her and look into her eyes, but he held her gaze so intently that she found she couldn't speak or move. She also couldn't think of anything that she might have wanted to say. She had the impression that Anakin was speaking to her but couldn't make out the words, so she contented herself with just gawking at him.
Anakin continued to hold her gaze while his senses scanned the surroundings. Then he counted down. At the last moment he stepped back from Dellia's desk and hid in Padmé's empty office, leaving the door open so he could observe. His mental shielding was locked down as tightly as possible. He wanted to be invisible. Actually, he had better be invisible, or he was in big trouble.
Dellia looked up and realized she was looking into the bright blue eyes of the most breathtakingly gorgeous man she had ever seen. In an instant she fell head-over-heels in love.
"May I...may I help you?" she whispered.
When he spoke his voice was like pure honey, and the mere sound of it made her tremble.
"I have some reports for Senator Amidala," he said. "Is she in?"
"Who…who are you?" Dellia asked, not so much on Senator Amidala's behalf, but because she felt she would die instantly if she didn't know.
"My name is Lon Erian."
"She isn't here," Dellia said, in one of the throatiest, most seductive voices Anakin had ever heard. He hadn't actually heard that many. But he was impressed. "But you're welcome to wait here with me."
With completely uncharacteristic boldness Dellia stood up and draped herself over Lon's arm and down his side, and began to draw him over to one of the long sofas in the anteroom. She was clearly indifferent to the fact that he was dressed in Jedi robes, with all that implied.
Even Anakin was amazed by his success. For the briefest of moments he wondered whether he had overdone it, but he had wanted to make sure that it worked. When he felt the shockwaves of surprise and discomfort coming from Lon he shrugged off any feelings of repentance.
Even better, he could sense that Lon was responding to Dellia. The good Jedi Padawan just couldn't help himself.
Go, Dellia, Anakin thought, wanting to dance around the office.
Lon clearly had never been given any lessons in resisting the power of seduction.
Unfortunately, Padmé arrived back at her offices while Anakin was still hiding and he was trapped. His first twinge of guilt came when he tried to figure out how to explain to her what he was doing there.
And why he had to stay hidden.
Padmé?
Where are you?
Hiding in your office. Please don't give me away!
Padmé already had noticed the interesting dynamic between Dellia and the dark-haired Jedi Padawan, whom she did not know. Considering that there were few parts of Dellia that were not touching the young man, and observing his acute discomfort, it didn't take her long to figure out what had happened.
You didn't!
He deserved it.
Well, Dellia didn't. How could you?
Caught in a moral dilemma of Anakin's making, Padmé finally decided to deal with the immediate situation first and Anakin later. It gave him plenty of time to experience a second tiny pang of guilt while he waited in her office.
"Dellia," Padmé said gently. "Who is this?"
The Jedi Padawan struggled to his feet. Padmé could sense the huge effort it cost him to pull himself together, poor boy.
"Lon Erian," he said to introduce himself. "I have some intelligence reports that you requested. I was asked to bring them personally." Padmé admired his fortitude.
That's Lon? Padmé asked. She had heard about him.
Yes, Anakin admitted, from his hiding place.
He's so handsome, Padmé remarked, evilly.
There was a noticeable absence of a response from Anakin.
Padmé smiled at the embarrassed young Jedi, trying to put him at his ease.
"Thank you. Just leave them on Dellia's desk. I'll take care of them immediately. Thank you for taking the trouble to bring them personally."
Lon remembered to bow gracefully and took his leave.
And such nice manners, too, Padmé thought pointedly, turning her attention to her hopeless secretary. Dellia was almost beyond reaching.
"Come here, Dellia. Come back to your desk," Padmé urged, practically having to pull her all the way. The young woman's face was flushed and the gleam in her eye was one that had never even been there for Anakin.
Padmé settled Dellia in her chair and quickly closed and locked the outer door of the office suite to deter visitors.
You had better take care of this RIGHT NOW, she told Anakin in no uncertain terms.
He looked suitably sheepish when he crept out of her inner office. Padmé stood with her arms crossed, waiting for him to undo whatever he had done. It made him nervous.
Anakin forced himself to concentrate on Dellia, and did his best to remove the suggestion he had planted in her mind. When she came to she was surprised to see Anakin, but didn't seem to react to him the same way as before.
That was a relief. But his new problem was more worrying. Padmé was radiating disapproval, and he couldn't exactly try to make it up to her while they were standing in front of Dellia.
Padmé, he tried.
Don't. Just don't. I'll talk to you about this later. Anakin was astounded when she turned away and went back into her office, closing the door behind her.
Anakin nodded a goodbye to Dellia and left the Naboo delegation offices unhappily, experiencing his third and worst pang of guilt. He still thought Lon deserved to have his smugness wiped out once and for all, but if it made Padmé angry the price was far too high. To make it worse, for some reason he kept remembering Master Yoda's voice saying, "Loves all living things equally, the Force does," followed by Master Jinn's voice saying, "We are all one." Lon would have been gratified to know how much Anakin suffered for most of the rest of that day.
But Lon had other things on his mind. The incident in the Naboo Senator's office had been unexpected and terribly uncomfortable. But it has also left him with a vague feeling of longing that he had never experienced before. It was a wistful feeling, as though he had lost something and didn't know what it was. He went back to his duties, but was quiet and thoughtful for the rest of that day and long into the night.
Dellia sat at her desk for a long time, a little vague about what had happened that afternoon. For some reason she kept remembering a pair of bright blue eyes and a voice like honey, and the memory touched a chord somewhere deep inside of her that continued to reverberate like the sweet sound of faraway bells on the wind. She didn't get much work done for the rest of the day.
Padmé sat in her office with her head in her hands for a while, trying to sort out her conflicting feelings. Finally she pushed them all aside and went back to work with a vengeance, setting herself the task of clearing away all of her most pressing obligations. Balé was arriving tomorrow, and she wanted nothing else demanding her attention.
* * * * *
The voices of the Jedi Masters remained in Anakin's thoughts until the very end of the day when he kept his weekly appointment with Chancellor Palpatine. They vanished the moment he stepped into his mentor's presence.
"So, my young friend," the Chancellor said, leaning back in his chair and forming his fingers into a steeple. "What progress have you made?"
It was early evening, just before the glowlamps came on automatically, and the Chancellor's office was suffused with shadow. Their two figures could hardly be distinguished in their dark clothing, and only their faces and the Chancellor's hands reflected some of the remaining light.
"The majority of the units of the Senate Security Forces are ready to be deployed now," Anakin said into the gloom. "The remaining two will be ready in two weeks."
Interesting and unexpected, the Chancellor thought. How did he manage that? Palpatine had deliberately set the boy a task that would be next to impossible for him to accomplish alone, and certainly not in the time frame he had demanded. And yet apparently he had succeeded.
"Excellent, my friend. I'm glad to hear it." He paused. "Has Chief Zangan provided you with the requested assistance?"
Anakin laughed at the thought. "No. It would hurt his pride to do so."
"Those of us who serve cannot afford pride," the Chancellor remarked.
Anakin reflected that the words sounded like something a Jedi Master would say, but the dismissive tone was all Palpatine's.
The shadows deepened. Anakin wondered idly when the glow lamps were supposed to come on.
He has found a new ally and he is not telling me, the Chancellor thought. He needs to learn that I must approve his friends and associates from now on.
"So…whom have you found to help you?" The Chancellor persisted.
"A soldier from within the ranks. A good one."
By now the Chancellor's office was almost in total darkness.
"And what have you promised him in return?"
"A substantial promotion," Anakin conceded. "It's a just reward."
Palpatine paused for thought. Hidden inside the darkness he made a small movement that permitted the glow lamps to come on after all.
"I'll have to approve the promotion personally," Palpatine said, fixing his eyes on Anakin's now that they could see one another again.
"As you wish," Anakin said stubbornly. "But I stand by my choice."
Palpatine wanted to smile. So bold, he thought. I give him credit for that.
"If he is all that you believe him to be, the promotion will not be a problem." He leaned back in his chair without taking his eyes off his protégé. "And so, my friend, how can I reward you for your efforts?"
Anakin was caught off guard. He almost responded, "I serve," in the Jedi way, but for some reason decided against it. "I just did my job," he finally said, a bit awkwardly. "I am grateful for your confidence in me."
The Chancellor kept looking at him while he rested his chin on the points of his steepled fingers.
"There must be something I can do to show my appreciation. Something that I could provide you with that you might not otherwise have."
Anakin realized that there was something he wanted. He just wasn't sure whether it was appropriate to ask for it.
"Go on, my friend," Palpatine prompted very gently.
"I would like a few days' leave," Anakin finally said.
Now the Chancellor was surprised. And curious. He was very, very curious.
"That is a modest request," he said. "May I ask why?"
Anakin hesitated and reassured himself that his inner shielding was locked down. Certain parts of his life were simply not open to the scrutiny of others. No matter who they were.
"A friend is coming to visit Coruscant," he finally said, since he had to say something. "I would like to spend some time with her."
Oh, but this is delightful! Palpatine thought to himself. Has the affair with the Senator from Naboo finally run its course? My young Jedi is truly forging his own path outside the Temple. He played with the idea of pushing aside those feeble Jedi shields to learn Anakin's secret, but decided that there were other ways to find out without alerting his young Jedi to his own powerful presence in the Force. Not yet.
"I think that can be arranged," Chancellor Palpatine said, keeping a perfectly straight face. "Let Dar Wac know when you will be gone." Now he permitted himself a gentle smile. "It goes without saying that your Jedi Masters will be informed that you are on duty."
Anakin nodded, believing that he was successfully hiding his elation.
"Thank you, Chancellor. Thank you very much."
Palpatine waved him off. "We will turn our attention to the next items upon your return."
He liked the fact that his chosen one had once again managed to surprise him.