"Stained Secrets"
Everyone looked over their shoulders at the door as it opened, Itachi walking through with a rather satisfied gleam in his eyes. "Where were you? We got back an hour ago." Deidara grumbled, looking at him from his perch in a seat near the couch. Itachi shrugged.
"Fighting." It was a simple and plausible answer, that held a few meanings in his mind. Kisame arched a brow as he continued looking over his shoulder at Itachi. His shirt was torn, the fishnet hanging down to reveal the bare flesh beneath it. His normally perfectly maintained pale skin was smeared with dirt and mud, and he had scratch marks running along his face and throat. He had dirt beneath his nails and his cloak wasn't closed…meaning something had happened to it to keep it from closing.
"Never seen you that mussed up, Itachi." Kisame chuckled, noticing even his hair was down and tangled. Something inside of him churned at the sight of the boy like that, but he kpet a smile on his face. Itachi shrugged, waving a dismissive hand.
"I wanted to put effort into this one. Never mind it, I'm going to lay down." He started to walk off and Nikoru watched him go, tilting her head and wondering.
"Where's Hota-" She stopped, turning back to the door and noticing Hotaru simply standing there. Everyone glanced at her in confusion, wondering why she hadn't busted in behind Itachi and been loud and annoying, like her usual self; they had been expecting them to come in arguing about who was stronger in the fight.
Hotaru was staring intently at the carpet, like it was something terribly interesting. Her face was smeared with mud, streaked with paler tracks that looked like tear streaks. She was holding her cloak tightly closed in front of herself, hiding her body from the rest of them as she basically shrunk down inside of it. Her hair ornaments were askew and cockeyed, basically hanging on by threads. Her normally perfectly kempt, full bodied curls and waves were tangled and ratty, frizzed and mussed. The hand they could see had a big scuff mark on the back of it, turning red from the slowly beading blood. One of her nails was broken and the arm was covered in grime and scratches as it disappeared into the blackness of the cloak.
Nikoru got up, running over to her and beaming brightly. "Hotaru-chan! I'm so glad you're back, did you kick some hardcore ass?" She laughed loudly, going to throw her arms around Hotaru's neck. Hotaru yelped loudly, reaching up to protect her face and shrinking away from Nikoru. All the boys stared in surprise as Nikoru froze, slowly putting her arms back to her side and staring hard at Hotaru. The cloak had fallen to the ground when Hotaru had released it, revealing what she was hiding beneath.
The rest of her skin was dirty and scratched too, like she had been drug across the dirt path or something. Her kimono was dusty and dirty, picked and scraped like it had been drug across the ground too. The ropes biding the normally soft fabric to her pretty form were frayed and hastily tied, not knotted neatly like normal. She was missing her sandals and Nikoru couldn't tell for sure, but it looked like blood or something else was dripping down the inside of her thigh, hiding in the shadows of her flesh. "H-Hotaru…?" Nikoru tilted her head, taking a slow and cautious step towards her. Hotaru shook her head though.
"Don't. Just, please, don't. Don't touch me." She whimpered, biting her lip to keep in the tears that Itachi had commanded she not show anyone.
"Hotaru…what happened?" Nikoru reached out for her anyways, but Hotaru shook her head getting a slightly panicked and angry look on her face.
"Nothing! Just leave me alone!" She ran out of the room quickly, covering her face and bolting into the kitchen. There was nowhere for her to go. Itachi had gone to his room and she had no room of her own. So she ran down the hallway and ran into her only safe zone.
The bathroom's lock slid home with a loud snap, giving her some small comfort as she turned to face the white tiled room. She caught sight of her reflection in the sink mirror and froze, staring at herself for a moment. Horror gripped tightly to her features and wouldn't let go. She shook her head, tears falling thick and fast now as she collapsed to the floor and dropped her forehead to the tiles, hiding her face behind dirty hands. She kept shaking her head and crying, unsure of what she wanted to say or do. She had just gotten to where she was trusting Itachi…he had been so nice to her…In his own weird way he had slowly been working his way into her good graces. And now…Now what?
Nikoru banged loudly on the door, shouting Hotaru's name over and over again, demanding to know what was wrong with her. Kisame began to try and pull her away, trying to tell her that maybe Hotaru just had trouble fighting today or something like that and that she just needed some time to herself; but Nikoru shook her head violently at his words, and even he didn't agree with his own words. "Hotaru fights all the time! She LOVES to fight! She could've been an anbu! Fighting doesn't upset her like this; something HAPPENED!" Nikoru yelled at him, hitting him in the chest before turning to the door again. She banged her fist loudly on it, barking Hotaru's name once more.
Tobi poked his head around the corner, along with Hidan, both watching interestedly. "It was Itachi!" Nikoru spun with a death glare in her eyes, clenching and unclenching her fist as she looked across the hall at Itachi's door. He hadn't stuck his head out once, making her even more suspicious. "He was the ONLY one with her that could've done something to her to make her this way!" She snapped loudly, getting ready to stomp towards the door, but Kisame stopped her.
"Nikoru, you can't. You can't accuse him of something you don't know he did; besides, it's ITACHI." He reminded her gently, but Hidan snickered.
"Let her try and weasel information out of him. I think it'd be funny." Tobi shook his head as Kisame glared over his shoulder at Hidan.
"But it WAS him, I just KNOW it was! Hotaru doesn't get rattled like that in battle, she's fought much, much, MUCH worse than the average ninja we were sent out to kill today." She shook Kisame's cloak front, but he refused to budge. So, she turned back on the bathroom door and began banging and kicking again. "Hotaru! Tell me what's wrong! Tell me what happened! You HAVE to!" She shouted loudly, wanting to cry but unable to for the worry within her. There was never a reply from the bathroom; it was as if she weren't even in there.
Hidan and Tobi eventually wandered off, and Nikoru drove Kisame away every time he tried to move her and coax her to leave Hotaru alone until she came out. So, Nikoru pressed her forehead against the door tiredly, continuously hitting her fist against the wood; but it got slower and slower, the spaces between the strikes dragging out longer and longer. "Just tell me what happened…I can't protect you if you won't let me…" She whimpered, hitting her fist lightly against the door once more.
Hotaru covered her head as she quivered on the floor. She was curled in fetal position on the tiles now, her head buried in her arms, chin drawn into her chest. The longer she listened to Nikoru bang and kick and shout and cry out, the harder she cried and the more she shook her head and the further she buried it in her chest. She couldn't let anyone see her like this. She couldn't let anyone know what had happened. She couldn't let anyone know that some part of her enjoyed it; all of it. Because if one person knew, Sasuke would know…and that would be the end. All the pieces…were falling into all the wrong places and she didn't know how to stop them; how to control them at all really.
Itachi opened his eyes after a long time. He had gone into his room and changed his clothes, then flopped on his bed and simply closed his eyes. He had gone through another fit…and once more, he had hurt Hotaru in a way that he wondered if he would ever be able to reconcile for. Last time she had forgiven him, though it had taken some time…But, he wondered now if she would ever get near him again. He thought of his little brother, turning towards him and telling him that he hated him for everything he ever was and all he had ever done. This made him wince and open his eyes, though Sasuke's voice rang out in his ears still. He wondered, if Sasuke ever found out, if he would actually kill Hotaru for it or he would forgive her; seeing as she had no choice in the matter.
Itachi's hands reached out and covered his own eyes as he let out an inward groan. He could hear Nikoru out in the hallway now. She was crying out for Hotaru over and over again. He wondered if Hotaru would let her in, would tell her everything, would cry on her shoulder like she often did on Hotaru's. He shook his head, she would probably never tell anyone; it made her look too weak. And she was too ashamed to admit she enjoyed it only slightly less than he did. HE was even sickened by the fact that he had enjoyed it as much as he had.
His eyes opened and he uncovered them, sitting up and watching his door as he heard Nikoru blaming him and shouting that she would get ahold of him and figure out what was going on. He couldn't understand Kisame, he only could hear mutters and mumbles that were of the same deep ring as his. Then Nikoru began crying out for Hotaru again. It got very silent after that and he fell backwards onto his bed again.
Staring up at the ceiling with one of his hands stretched out, he touched Hotaru's side of the bed. His fingertips traced over the cool and smooth waves of the sheets, making him wonder again if he would ever feel her warmth beside him again. He had never really thought someone could care about someone like him, and he certainly never thought he would care if someone cared about him…but he did…and now he began to realize that he may have permanently fucked that up.
Hotaru shivered on the hard tile flooring, her side beginning to ache from her hip driving into it unforgivingly. She thought about rolling over, but couldn't wrap her mind around doing anything other than crying some more. Something shifted behind her, but she paid no mind, knowing no one could get in through a locked door. Her eyes closed and she thought of drifting into sleep, of pretending none of this had ever happened…but the darker side of her mind promised that not even dreams could erase this blood stain off of her.
A hand reached out, slowly and gently sliding over her shoulder, resting there for a brief and warm moment. Her rattled and confused mind failed to register she was supposed to be locked away by herself and she sighed with the comfort that was being transfused into her body through this simple touch. Warmth seeped into her skin and she sighed softly, feeling her body relax ever so slowly.
She wanted so badly to hug Kakashi…to have him stroke her hair and hold her on his lap, telling her that she was a beautiful and good person and that no one could ever take that from her. She wanted so badly for this hand to be his hand. That loving, gloved hand that always had to reach out and touch her in some way; as if to make sure she was real and wasn't going to leave him anytime soon.
"Kashi…I'm scared…" She whimpered quietly, her words echoing off of the flooring as she spoke into it. No one said anything for a long time and she began to wonder if she was dreaming all of this; then she remembered she was. There wasn't really a hand on her shoulder. No one could get into the bathroom without breaking down the door; and she had heard nothing of that sort.
"We are here…there is no reason to be afraid." Her eyes shot open at the soft, gentle voice that held nothing but concern and care in it. She tensed, jolting up and spinning to see Zetsu staring at her with a tilted head. She let out a cry, jerking backwards and scrambling into a wall, shaking her head as he stared at her in confusion. "Hotaru-chan…we are not here to hurt you. You must tell us what is wrong." He held out a hand, but stood his ground, knowing he would get farther if she was allowed to keep her distance. She shook her head, holding out a hand towards him to keep him at bay, beginning to sob again.
"Nothing's wrong! Just go away! Please!" She begged loudly, shaking her head again. He waited, biding his time again until she calmed slightly. She would tell him on her own, he just had to wait; even if it took all night.
"Hotaru-chan said she was scared…Why is Hotaru-chan scared in her own home?" The black side wondered as she choked on another sob, shivering and holding her head in her hands.
"It's not my home! This is NOT my home! I live in KONOHA! I live with Kashi!" She shouted loudly, glaring at him as if he had insulted her. He frowned, hurt a little that she had been staying with them so long and saw no reason to call this her home; if anything it was at least A home for her.
"We understand…We are sorry." The white side murmured, but she shook her head, whimpering and resting her chin on her knees again, looking at the flooring between them. She could see parts of her reflection staring back at her pathetically and she closed her eyes against it.
"I AM scared though…and disgusted." She whined quietly, running a hand through her matted hair and tangling it even more. Zetsu tilted his head in some interest.
"We are listening…and will help in any way we can." He offered and she smiled softly, looking up at him with hopeful eyes, but they were tinged with something that said he could do nothing for her.
"Zetsu…he hurt me." She looked at the floor, not wanting to elaborate farther than that, but knowing she needed to tell SOMEONE. Zetsu frowned,
"WHO hurt Hotaru-chan…?" the black side hissed violently, but she wouldn't look at him again. She dropped her face into her knees, her back moving up and down with her sobs.
"I couldn't do anything about it…I swear I couldn't. He had me pinned…there was nothing I could do!" She cried now, Zetsu glaring at her with glowing yellow eyes, but no words leaving his tightly pressed lips. "He…he RAPED me, Zetsu!" His face lit up with a demonic scowl, one that screamed of vengeance and violence. She jerked her head up to face him, tears spilling down her face, almost enough to clean the dirt off of it. "And I ENJOYED it!" Here she fell forwards, covering her face in her hands and shaking her head.
Zetsu didn't move or say anything for a long, long time; just looked down at her and watched her cry. Finally he reached out a slow hand, touching her shoulder with gentle fingertips once again. She flinched, but failed to move, even look up at him. "Hotaru-chan…needs a bath." He murmured and she caught her sobs in her throat, slowly looking up at him in confusion.
"Wh-what…?" She sat up, leaning on one arm as she stared at him. He reached out and ran a thumb down her cheek, ridding her of her tears from the one side.
"Hotaru-chan needs a bath…it will make her feel better." The white side murmured, gesturing to the tub near them. She glanced at it, then at him, looking down at the floor and shaking her head.
"I don't feel like it…" She whimpered, but he shook his own head.
"We want your SMELL back. This is foolishness…to stay filthy and upset…" The black side hissed and she looked back to him with slightly pained eyes. But, he was right. She looked at the insides of her thighs, a tear falling on her skin before she looked up again and nodded. He rose and walked over to the tub, drawing her water for her. He remained stationary on the side of the tub as she rose to her feet as well.
Slowly she undressed and walked over to the now knee high water. She stepped in, steam rising off of the surface of the water, coiling around her form as she slid beneath the clear water. Zetsu watched her sink up to her chin, sighing lightly and closing her eyes. He reached out and placed a hand on top of her head, making her look up to him. "Tell us who." He had a good idea, but he wanted it confirmed. She smiled gently, but shook her head.
"I can't. I'm sorry…you've helped me so much…but, I can't." She looked at the water as the black side fought the urge to grip down on her hair and dunk her beneath the water and force her to tell him. Instead, he remained utterly still. "I just want to pretend it didn't happen…And want to pretend…he didn't mean it." She looked up at him, "And, Zetsu?" he glanced down at her and she touched his hand with wet fingertips timidly. "Don't do anything on my behalf…please…" He blinked in some surprise, but she gave him a pale and empty smile. "I'm a big girl. I've had worse." She lied through her teeth, but he could do nothing against her wishes, his white side wouldn't allow it. Tiredly he nodded and reached into the water with both hands, cupping them and holding them over her head.
"We'll help you clean off then…But you must talk to Nikoru…She worries." He mumbled and she nodded silently, the water pouring over her head making her feel clean and safe again.
"Hey, Zetsu-san…" He hmmed at her to show he had heard her. She trailed a finger over the surface of the water, blushing lightly. "W-will you be my Kashi…? Till I can go home?" He paused and looked down at her, staring hard. Then he sighed, as if it were a very boring chore he had to do, but he nodded his head.
"We guess…" He mumbled and she gave a small smile again, nodding her own head gently beneath his fingers. Funny how, when he was worried about her and she didn't smell like herself…he wanted nothing to do with the thought of eating her. Right now, he just wanted to make her back into the little Hotaru he had met a few weeks ago. And see what he could do about this whole situation. Though she had asked him not to and he had agreed…he couldn't let this one slide.