Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy, et al.
Thanks for putting up with the delay on this story, I promise it will be worth your while and I'm still very excited to share it with you. Just have patience with the frequency of the updates and please let me know how you feel about this story!
Chapter 12 – Tickle Me Pink – Part 1 of 2
Derek took a deep breath of the sweet flowery air – still familiar, yet fresh and clean and organic like spring bulbs blooming – he inhaled another breath, earth, salt still there … but there was an additive now, one that belonged there too… it was Meredith.
He smiled and stilled his heart, focusing now on her breathing, another facet of 'living' together that he'd quickly grown accustomed to and therein the very essence of this woman who had captivated him so had indeed become part of his natural landscape as if it were her fate or destiny to do so. No, no longer did he feel lonely … no longer was he searching for what had been missing in his life.
"Love doesn't die."
Her voice, her simple blunt mantra floated through the sleepy haze of his mind again now. He was rested. He had found clarity and in the most unexpected place: Meredith Grey's deep and faceted and soul-filled gateways. He shifted, moving closer to this woman, his missing piece – everything seemingly in place now – his core so beautifully and naturally aligned. He sighed somewhere deep inside and waited patiently, focusing again on her breathing … her presence … her peace of mind coaxing him to that unknown place … that place of unexpected alignment.
And only then would it come, within those quiet moments when he secretly let everything go and basked in her energy – and then it would come, this lasso she expertly threw around him – this intense gravitational pull he still didn't understand, but also didn't care to investigate … for he only cared that it was still there and that he wanted more of it.
More … that was the only word to describe what he needed. He wanted more … of this … of her … of their potential … he wanted 'everything'. More.
With more of Meredith on his mind, Derek finally opened his eyes to find her – to make sure of her – he melted inside, she was at peace; very much how he left her last night – after that last happy kiss, good night – when at last he finally trusted himself enough to close his eyes and rest, assured that she would be there when he awoke.
And so he watched over her now, her chest moved slowly – up and down, rise and fall – she was laying on her back, full of trust, a forearm over her eyes – only her beautiful pink cheeks and perfectly pouty lips visible – her honey blonde tresses still wild from sleep and their games of teasing passion and exploration the previous night.
His heart went nuts, he moved closer to her heat still, more, more … he wanted more, but he didn't want to wake her and for the fist time since he moved out to Seattle, he didn't feel the need to slip from bed at dawn and walk out to clear his mind.
So he stilled his heart instead and rested his head on his forearm, moving his free hand under his pillow, his eyes dropping shut of their own accord … he was at peace … and he too, would sleep in.
And therein, the velvet underground of sleep quickly claimed him – her heard her voice float through his mind, she had said it, 'love doesn't die – the soft timbre, innately hers, the simple husk of her words, the serious glint to her emerald eyes … all still there, indelible impressions set deep within his mind's eye. He relaxed further into her radiant heat then, the gravitational pull still there like tether while he sank deeper and deeper into bliss, matching the tempo of his breathing with Meredith's … his buoy … his everything.
"Love doesn't die."
The intensity of her words and her voice grew exponentially now, for she had said it and only then did it finally hit him – he shifted, instinctively moving closer to her heat, his eyes still closed – she had said it … and then he smiled inside, because he realized in that moment that they really did have a chance to survive this thing between them. For if she believed that love didn't die, then somewhere deep inside she must believe in love. And in that belief, despite certain innate misgivings she might have on the sustainability of relationships – Meredith Grey believed in love, the kind of love Derek had given up on, the everlasting kind, the kind he wanted to believe in again – and like she said last night in the elevator … she wanted this, whatever this was … she wanted it with him.
Having put those final missing pieces together, Derek's mind effortlessly wandered to their magical evening last night – deeper and deeper he went, allowing himself to rest his weary mind – for he had indeed found clarity, he found Meredith … and she found him.
###
Having already showered at the hospital, Derek presently waited for Meredith, pulling clean shirt over his head before he crossed the trailer to his briefcase hell bent on keeping his mind busy while she took a shower – retrieving the mail, he smiled when he set the stack down and spied her easel calendar perched on the counter – reaching for it, he flipped to June and let his eyes rest on her beloved Renoir and there again he saw some version of himself, the way the man was so captivated by his lover in the painting, it was how he felt most of the time when he was looking at Meredith.
A thrill of anticipation ripped up his spine – the shower came to life, another reminder that he was not alone – he felt the ghost of her lips on his neck, he smiled at the recent memory and flipped the calendar back to its original position.
Darting his eyes away from the dream of the Renoir – he spied the latest envelope from Netflix – having someone to blow through those movies with would certainly make the arduous task more enjoyable. He broke the seal; the titles of the latest masterpieces stared back at him – "The African Queen", "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" – he ran his fingertips along the title of the 80's blockbuster adventure film; stock images of Harrison Ford donned in that famous hat crowded his mind while he thought back now and tried to remember how romantic that movie might have been, full well knowing that the other two films bore no relation to the type of mood he wanted to set for the evening ahead with Meredith.
His eyes fell on her calendar once again – he slipped the discs back in the envelope and moved the easel forward to a place of more prominent display – certainly she'd want to mark the day off, though the night was still young … very young. Derek's heart raced at the prospect and for a split-second he wanted nothing more than to stop time … nothing more than to pick up where they left off just a while ago and enjoy the quiet solitude (of laughing, kissing, and exploring) with Meredith.
The shower died down and a satisfied smile eased along his handsome face … for he just couldn't help it. He heard the shower curtain move along the rod, the rings catching near the end like they always did for him – it was noise, it was life – and suddenly he was reminded yet again of just how many lonely nights he'd spent out here in the middle of nowhere, suffocated by this self-imposed imprisonment, though paradoxically surrounded by peace and quiet and the expansive horizon of forty acres of undeveloped land.
And inside this moment of reflection, he realized that this place or plane he had created for himself had simply fallen short – because it never did ease his pain – it only served to intensify his status, it only made his head swim until he could barely tread water … for there were just too many failed affairs to remember, too many lovers gone, besieged by the intensity of his giving heart. He met the wrong women, was magnet for them and was always the one left behind, until his hopeful optimism also started to dwindle and he was no longer the man he once was – he was cynical and jaded and he couldn't stand himself – so he left New York and moved to Seattle … to find himself, the man he used to be, the one he actually liked and felt comfortable being … and only when he assumed that persona again did Meredith Grey all but materialize.
In the end, his mother had been right; for she had said countless times that new love or passion could be found in the most inconspicuous places, of course she'd follow that statement by saying she really didn't think he'd meet someone spending all of his free time at the hospital (avoiding) or out on forty acres of land alone (in self-imposed exile) … but he did, for new love and passion seemed to have their own destinies to fulfill.
Derek smiled and shook his head and leaned down to retrieve those pieces of cheesecake they had gotten 'to go' at the bistro earlier where they huddled together against the damp cold, kissing and caressing like teenagers, alone outside, the brick walls of the place housing their energy, somehow keeping them warm at heart – the cheesecake came – but it seemed they had already moved on to dessert, rubbing their cold noses together, they decided to save the sweet treat for later.
He heard the bathroom door open behind him – a fever-chill ripped up his spine –– he stopped short and closed the mini refrigerator door and stood up, turning around to find Meredith standing just inside the doorway there.
He cocked his head to the side and watched her do the same, goading him with her green eyes, both happy and wide awake, twinkling like mad against the dim light, her golden tresses, though darker when damp, still framed her angelic face perfectly, accentuating her cheeks, tickled pink from the heat and humidity of her shower – her simple beauty stunned him – and therein he was rendered powerless. He smiled weakly from his same spot, giving himself a moment to digest just how sexy she looked brushing her teeth wearing nothing more than a pair of yoga pants and that ratty t-shirt she loved … it was all so domestic and perfect, she shifted on her feet; her shoulder popped free from her neckline and he was a goner.
"Hey," he said softly from his same spot.
"Hey," she replied with a mouthful of toothpaste, she grinned; she was adorable.
She stood there for a second longer before she winked and turned back into the bathroom, disappearing from sight. Derek heard the water come to life and without thinking he crossed the room and slipped into the tiny room behind her. Meredith smiled at him through the mirror and he leaned forward, stepping closer, his eyes engaged with hers still as he pressed a tiny wet impressionable kiss to the damp flesh of her neck, moving his lips down to her exposed shoulder where he pulsed, once, twice.
He felt the aftershock of her response – her raised shoulder, the heat of her back as she leaned into him, the small guttural moan that escaped her lips – she smiled and so did he as he grabbed his toothbrush and applied some paste. She turned the faucet on for him and he ran his toothbrush under the cold water before he began to brush his teeth. And it was there that they stayed – a small moment in time when it was just the two of them completing this seemingly menial task – perfectly at ease with one another, moving succinctly within the small space … sharing the sink and the hand towel along with quiet looks of lust and longing, skin to skin, shoulder to shoulder, chest to back until they were finished.
Meredith took the hand towel from Derek and he watched as she began to fold it absentmindedly, her hands shaking ever so slightly as she worked, she sighed, her breath shaking too – and it was in that moment that Derek fell for her just a little more then he already had, perhaps the time alone in the shower gave her a moment to stop and think – although he also knew that her time alone hadn't changed this thing between them, he knew that and so did she.
And years later he still wouldn't know precisely what caused to do what he did next …
… for she was nervous …
… and he didn't want her to be nervous …
… he just wanted her …
… more of her and this insane way she seemed to captivate him.
Maybe it was the sticky heat inside that bathroom or her sweet floral essence or just the intensity of their proximity, but in that moment, as nervous as Meredith was, she somehow became sexy as all hell in Derek's eyes. She became a woman to him – a woman with more than just intellectual and emotional prowess – she became a woman, with her shoulder cap shining in the dim light and the swell of her pert breasts beneath her old t-shirt – she became a woman he wanted … and so he took her body in his hands and spun her around to face him, a tiny gasp of surprise falling from her lips as he did.
The air was thick all of a sudden, so thick they could have been back inside that elevator – but they weren't, they were somewhere else entirely – her faceted eyes flicked to his as he swiftly drew her near with one arm around the small of her back. Hot tufts of their breath ricocheted with no place to go, he moved hands up to her face, flanking her cheeks, making her look at him – he smiled and got lost within the depths of her eyes – he pressed his forehead to hers and felt her whole body tremble, he brought her closer and even closer still, her hands found his hipbones where they stayed.
"Come with me," he whispered into her ear, the damp heat of her mouth raging against his shoulder blade, his plea hanging in the air, suspended like some kind of wordless catcall.
"Derek," she breathed his name.
His eyes found hers again and he ducked down, his lips lingering less than a millimeter away from hers – and there he waited – waited for her to seize him, because he knew, as scared or nervous as she might be … she wanted him too, she wanted this thing … whatever this thing between them was, she wanted it. And so he waited, his own breathing stacked against him now as time moved forward and the clocked ticked – one, two, three – before she moved that fraction of an inch and gave him the signal … the sign he had been waiting for: her minty lips against his.
Their kiss took on a life of its own almost immediately – his core waking up, his cock twitching like a line of ignited gunpowder – no hindrances now, no public to be mindful of, no inhibitions, no wondering what the other's intentions were … they kissed and kissed and while their mouths mated instinctually, Derek maneuvered Meredith back and out of the tiny doorway … back and away … back to his bed.
"Derek," Meredith breathed, coming up for fresh air as he pulsed his lips over hers, the backs of her knees pressed against the bed. "It's … it's been a long time for me …," she confessed, reminding him now, he felt her chest cavity shake, she gripped his hips.
"It has for me too …," he whispered, she knew this of course, but he felt he should remind her too, he wanted her – she wasn't just anyone to him and he knew she needed to hear that – he knew he would need to make that clear. "Come with me … trust me …," he urged her quietly, lacing her long fingers through his as he held the covers back for her.
"I do … trust you," she whispered, her words lodged in her throat. "It's me …," she heaved breathlessly, tenderly brushing her lips against his. "It's me … I don't trust," she confessed, her eyes wet.
He swallowed hard – staring into her soulful gateways – he cocked his head and watched as she did as he requested and slipped into bed. Smiling down at her, he joined her under the canopy of cool linens, rolling to her heat and she into his like they had done it for years already.
Derek felt reassured as she laced her legs through his – effortlessly resting her head in the crook of his neck – her free hand on the tie of his pajama bottoms, his cock jumping at her lithe touch. She turned and titled her head up, he ducked down and kissed her again – her head resting on the pillow now – half pinned beneath him as his mouth explored hers freely, dipping his tongue into her already familiar depths, stealing her breath with every pulse of his nerves against hers, with every sweep of his fat and ready tongue … because he was hungry for her, more of her.
"Meredith," he sighed, pulling back slightly, his free hand found her hairline before he moved his fingertips along her crown, down to her neck and then to the swell of her breast near her heart. "You're gorgeous," he muttered thickly, because she was – he watched her cheeks turn pink, the pale light only illuminating her apparent embarrassment – he chuckled and raised her chin with his thumb. "You are … so beautiful," he insisted before he bushed her lips with his, he felt her smile under his touch. "What do you need … from me?" he asked hesitantly now, she sucked in a deep breath and pulled him towards her.
"Nothing … I'm … I want you," she sighed, although her eyes betrayed her confidence and her voice was laden with insecurity, it was slight, the intonation, maybe something an acquaintance would miss, but not him, he knew better, he also knew they wouldn't make love tonight.
His mind wandered then, his lips found her neck – where he breathed her in, hesitating once again – but Meredith took action this time and flanked his skull in her hands, she stared at him and raised one of her knees, stealthily shifting herself beneath him. Derek smiled, unable to hide the evidence of his arousal, his cock lengthening at the mere thought of slipping inside her endless depths. Meredith stroked his back, her fingertips dancing under his t-shirt as she did, her lips planted to his neck – by God he wanted her and he knew she wanted him – but that would have to wait, wait until the time was right, his lips found her earlobe where he sucked on her flesh, eliciting a light-hearted giggle from his would-be lover.
"Nothing you aren't ready for will happen tonight, you know that right?" he promised into her ear.
"I know," she whispered in return. "I trust you, remember?" she pushed back; she found his eyes with hers.
"I do … you'll know when the time is right – this is about us – not just me," he kidded, pushing his hard cock against her groin.
Her giggle filled the space between them, her eyes became lighter and he felt her relax in his arms and it was the best feeling, for it seemed as though she was at home. And as he stared at her, he watched her eyes grow darker and more serious again, those facets hard at work to keep up with her wild mind. He pressed his lips together and waited for her to talk to him, for her to tell him what she needed to know.
"What …," she sighed, her cheeks heating again. "What does this mean … to you?" she finally squeaked out, finding his hand she laced her fingers through his and squeezed, searching his eyes with hers, she held him there in the moment, the reverberation of her question hanging low like a ripe fruit in the small space between them.
Derek squeezed her hand in return before he smiled and turned his head to the side, watching her majestic eyes dance and sway within the filtered light of the trailer. He took a calming deep breath and dared himself to answer – to tell her how he felt from this small piece of himself he had abandoned long ago – the hopeless romantic, the guy who wanted it all … the dream of everything with someone special. His heart shook, for this could be the end of this thing between them, this could spook her, this woman who believed in the power of love, but not in the power of relationships.
"Derek?" she prompted after a minute, she squeezed his hand and leaned up to press a lingering kiss to his neck, he felt her warmth radiate from her body, trapped now under the linens with them, she soothed him without even trying.
He sighed heavily, basking in her love-touch. He looked down and shimmied off of her and found her eyes once again. Tilting his head, he moved his fingertips along her hairline, his heart racing on and on and then he realized that he was passed the point of no return; he had to be straight with her because if he wasn't, it would surely be the end before it ever had a chance to begin.
"What does this mean to me?" he asked and then he smiled, his mind traveling light years into the future. "Everything," he confessed simply, locking his eyes with hers. "It means everything to me," he persisted, allowing himself to be completely honest with her.
Meredith's chest heaved and her eyes opened wide and he thought for a minute that she would run or hide or backpedal … but she didn't. She just shook her head and blinked – fat tears popped from her eyes – and she made no move to wipe them away. Derek bent down and kissed the beautiful planes of her cheeks, tasting her salty tears as he did.
"Talk to me," he implored before he kissed her, soft and quick.
She took a deep breath and exhaled, her wet eyes locked in his. "I don't trust myself …," she heaved, searching his eyes. "Around you, I just … I want more and I'm scared as hell to want you … but, I do," she sighed, revealing herself to him just a little more now.
Derek smiled and held her close, keeping her there, allowing her to come to terms with trying a relationship with him, not just sex … but everything. "I get it Meredith – trust me, I do – but I just –"
"Derek … I want this with you," she interrupted with a small smile. "But I don't know … 'everything' just sounds so big," she trembled. "I know what I'm good at … the loner thing," she whispered, he stroked her beautiful cheek. "The no strings sex thing," she sniffled and looked away.
Derek's heart pounded, he tilted his head and found her eyes, wet, glistening with the fear of disappointment. "Meredith, look at me please," he requested softly, she turned her head and found him. "I know … this might seem big and it is … but it's just me," he soothed. "It's only me and I need you to know that you could be, if you let yourself, if you trust yourself … you could be … my everything," he mused, his heart on fire, his mind wild with a multitude of reasons why none of this made sense and yet … here he was.
"Everything," Meredith repeated, Derek watched her try to make sense of it all, knowing it was too soon, but not willing to accept the truth behind it.
Her lips found his and all of sudden she was upon him, she was everywhere, rolling on top of him, pinning him beneath her – she plucked at his lips, straddling his abdomen – her puckered nipples cutting across his muscular chest, only two layers of flimsy cotton between them now. Her core was hot; he could feel her ardent heat seeping through her yoga pants. He rolled her again, on top of her now – pulling back to catch her wild green eyes with his – she flicked her gaze to his lips and back to his eyes where they stayed as she wrapped her legs around the small of his back, clasping her feet there, holding him … hostage.
"Everything …," Derek repeated tenderly as he rolled to her side again, sucking in a deep breath. "I'm …," his voice drifted off into nothingness –'falling for you', he wanted to say – as he stared at her, quite captivated. He wanted to say more than that actually, but he kissed her instead, trying his best to allay her fears without words, without promises.
Meredith returned that kiss, her lips on his like wild fire, her hands around his neck, pulling him closer and closer until she paused and brushed her nose against his, her wet eyes softening around the edges, she was alright he decided then, she would be alright. He shook his head and pressed his lips together, a small smile crept along his face then and he felt it plant itself there. He caressed her face and let his eyes roam along her beautiful body. He set his palm over her heart and felt her muscle beat against his hand.
"I'm falling for you," he whispered into their heat, bang, bang went her heart as tears cascaded from her eyes. "Hard and fast … and I don't want to tether myself this time, I can't … this is too big," he confessed, his eyes never wavering, her heart banging against his palm still.
"You've done that before … held yourself back," Meredith whispered, her voice cracking, her hands flying up to his skull. She stared at him, his hand pressed to her heart, he could tell she was processing the consequences of holding her own feelings back and away from him.
"I have … and it doesn't work, not for me … not for anyone, I just … want to be honest with you … and with myself," he sighed reflectively.
Meredith's eyes became brighter and dare he say more playful – he watched her cheeks become pink again – she looked like a schoolgirl, innocent, like she had some kind of secret. She leaned up and pressed her heart-shaped lips to his, pulse, pulse, the tip of her tongue sweeping along his now as she deepened their connection, moaning ever so slightly as she did. She shifted her hips, grinding against his pelvic bone now, God she felt so fucking good beneath him.
"Derek," she sighed breathlessly, her heat was everywhere, it was the air he breathed. She cradled his skull in her hands then and he watched her eyes soften around the edges, staring at him like he was some kind of idol, he felt her heart pound against his palm, bang, bang … she stared right through him. "I'm … falling for you too, I really am … so hard …," she confessed, her voice thick and full of emotion.
Tears filled the deep well of his eyes, he let them recede as he stared at her and marveled at her willingness … at her bravery.
"Too hard?" he asked softly, bending down, he pressed an even kiss to her waiting lips, kiss, kiss, nip, pluck, suck, kiss, kiss. "Too hard … too fast?" he persisted between electrifying pulses.
"No," Meredith protested, pulse, pulse she kissed him long and hard and deep.
"No?" Derek prompted, pulse, pulse he too, kissed her long and hard and deep.
"Just right," she explained, pushing a breathless giggle into his mouth.
"I like just right … I like how it feels," Derek chuckled, his lips moving down from her mouth to her neck where he nipped at her flesh, breathing her in, pulsing his lips, he felt her shiver.
"Me too … feels good," she husked, her eyes more playful and relaxed once again. She sighed heavily and caught her breath.
"Feels good … how?" he prompted, rubbing his nose with hers, her hot, minty breath slammed into his face, she titled her head up … he kissed her swollen lips.
"Like I've had too much champagne and my cheeks are all hot and pink … and numb," she giggled into their raw heat.
"Hmm …," he mused, running his finger along her flushed skin. "They are … pink, you're flushed … tickled," he teased; he kissed each one and then lay his head down on her pillow.
"You tickled me pink," she mused softly with a twinkle set deep in her eyes, turning her head she rolled into him.
"I think I did," he chuckled, his arms around her now.
Meredith stifled a yawn, her giggle filling the air as she grew heavy in Derek's arms, he felt her relax and let herself go and only then did he do the same – his heart on fire with anticipation of what was sure to come – for she wanted this thing … and he wanted … well, he wanted to be her everything too. He felt her burrow deeper into his heat where she pressed a chaste kiss to his pulse point on his neck. His lips found the top of her head where he kissed her, breathing her in just as he was meant to, just as if they had fallen asleep together for years and years already.
"Derek?" she whispered long after he thought she'd fallen asleep.
"Yeah," he replied, opening his eyes, his lips still pressed to her head through her tresses.
She opened her eyes and craned her neck back to find him and then she smiled brilliantly, her cheeks still pink, her eyes no longer wet or troubled. "Kiss me good night, just like you promised …," she ordered softly, leaning forward to close the small distance between them.
And so he did ... all night long.
###
Meredith shifted in her sleep a while later – his mind still wrapping itself around the intensity of their night, their collective revelations – 'love doesn't die', it was something to live by … something to hold on to when things got rough and for some reason, maybe because he never met anyone (besides his mother) who believed in such things (as endless love) – maybe this really was fate and maybe just wasn't destined to find what he was looking for – until now.
Opening his eyes he found Meredith right where he left her – asleep, dreaming in his bed – right where he felt she belonged, out here in the middle of nowhere with him. He took another deep breath, morning upon them now, the birds called to one another and he just lay idly back and listened to this new symphony – Meredith's breathing, the birds calling – he was at peace, he still didn't feel the urge to move, to do more than he was right here, right now.
He didn't want to disturb the balance and so he just waited, his eyes roaming over his would-be lover, God … she was so beautiful as she slept on while the world woke up.
Rolling onto his back, he craned his neck up and looked through the skylight watching and waiting for the sky to become brighter, for the trailer to become lighter, for the dust particulates as they danced in the silent breezeway that ran through the small space of his enclave. He heard a change in Meredith's breathing, short, shallow breaths now – she would be awake soon – he rolled back to his side stared his muse. Her cheeks still pink, her shoulder cap in plain sight, her hands now pushed under her pillow, her RAM cycle in full swing – the clock ticked forward, one, two, three – and then her eyes popped open, arresting him yet again.
"You watching me sleep again?" she teased, her voice sleepy, she wiped her hands over her eyes, her mouth felt dry, she swallowed hard.
"You caught me," he smiled broadly, reaching over, he smoothed her matted hair away from her face. "Did you sleep well?" he asked softly watching the way the morning light cascaded down from the skylight and landed on her like a halo.
"Yes," she smiled and found herself inching closer, her heart lunged forward – he looked so beautiful in the morning – he was still there, she rested her hand along the handsome plane of his cheek. "Aren't you gonna ask me …," she smiled now. "Ask me out again?" she prompted, he smiled under her palm.
"Hmm … I am," he breathed; finally waking up with her – 'she wanted this' – was all he could think.
Meredith inched closer to Derek's heat again, this time daring herself to move into the comfortable fit of the crook of his neck. Derek sighed in the air as she settled herself there; he pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head. She laced her legs through his and he felt her grow heavy in his arms, her lips on his neck, then down to his clavicle where she pulsed, once, twice before she rested her head again and sighed breathlessly into the morning air, her grasp around his waist becoming even tighter still as she jackknifed her knee, raising it up and over his thighs. Derek ducked down and pressed a small kiss to her exposed shoulder, pulse, pulse – her skin alone was like nothing he'd ever tasted before – he breathed her in, her essence akin to some kind of exotic healing balm. She inhaled sharply and let it all go.
"What's on your mind?" Derek asked, tempting fate, brushing his lips along her sweet flesh again.
"Hmm, nothing …it's just … I thought I would wake up and …," her voice trailed off – 'and the dream would be over' – she almost said.
"Wake up and what …," Derek prompted into the silence, the birds chirped on and on, it was all he could hear now over the raging beat of his heart.
Meredith titled her head up caught a glimpse of Derek's wide eyes as she leaned up on her elbow. She smiled and stared at him for a beat before she continued. "I thought you'd be gone …," she whispered, a reflective smile moved along her face.
"Gone?" he asked incredulously, he shook his head slowly as he looked up at her – 'no, no' – there was no way he would be gone. "Where would I go exactly?" he wondered aloud.
Meredith giggled. "Not gone … just out …," she whispered with a bright smile, locking her more playful eyes with his. "Just fishing or … taking some space … clearing your head, I mean that's what you do," she smiled softly, watching the alarm and tension ebb from his face until a smile appeared there instead. "I just … I thought I would be walking out to find you on the lake," she soothed, resting her palm on the broad plane of his chest.
Derek heaved a sigh of relief and put his hand over hers, he chuckled breathlessly, captivated by Meredith's intuition, her attention to detail … and her bright clear gateways. "Well … you know, I do … do that, but today I just couldn't make myself move," he smiled and watched her cheeks turn pink, his favorite trick of hers … or was it a trick of his?
"No?" she prompted, leaning down she pressed a kiss to his cheek.
"No … no need for clarity today," he smiled thoughtfully, gathering Meredith in his arms as he did.
She settled herself into his heat, her head on his chest, her knee jackknifed again, she pulled him even closer now, more, more, more. "How come?" she asked surprised by her own bravado.
Derek smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Because … I can finally see right where I am and I'm right where I want to be," he mused, moving his hand down and through her wild tresses.
"You are …," she stated evenly, hugging him close, letting herself go to feel and enjoy his morning warmth.
"I am," he replied softly, just as relaxed in her embrace as she seemingly was in his.
"And where's that?" she teased softly, an unsolicited breathless giggle escaped from her lips, who was this woman, she wondered.
"Waking up with you … right here," he said softly, he took a deep breath; he could hear his heart beating akin to a drum in his ears.
"Right here," she repeated breathlessly, craning her neck up to spy on him. He found her eyes and smiled brilliantly. "Ask me then," she prompted with her own brilliant smile.
"Ask you …," he teased, losing himself in the deep pools of her eyes.
"Yeah …," she sighed, not trusting herself to say more.
Derek rolled into her heat and pulled her down with him – her giggle filled the small space between them – resting their heads on her pillow again, he ran his thumb along her cheek and then under her chin, titling her head up ... another half and inch and her lips would be on his. She looked away, but he found her eyes anyway and brought her back to the moment.
"Hi," he whispered, smiling with eyes now before he closed the distance and kissed her, soft and quick.
"Hi," she giggled against his mouth.
He pulled away only slightly, resting his free hand over her heart, palming the delicate swell of her breast, he inched closer, wrapping her legs up with his, holding her there. He smiled and ducked down before he kissed her again, soft and quick.
"Meredith …," he sighed, her name rolling off of his tongue like beads of rain down a window. "Will you," he breathed and then kissed her. "Go out … with … me … again?" he asked in between a pepper spray of kisses.
"When?" she countered with a smirk before she seized his lips and rolled on top of him, kiss, kiss, kiss, her lips planted on his neck just below his ear now, his hands palming her round derrière, holding her close.
"Now … right now," he husked, moving his hands up her back and through her hair to cradle her skull there in an attempt to see that playful look in her eyes.
"Now's good," Meredith whispered, before seized the moment and kissed him long and hard.
Losing herself in the feeling of his lips and body against hers now, Meredith finally set herself free – blissful oblivion encapsulating her in no time, kiss, kiss, love, love, she wanted 'everything', she wanted to be his 'everything' – and so shocked as she was at her own string of confessions that her eyes popped open to find his and when she did, she was stunned by the wild, untamed depth she found staring back at her now, so captivated was she that she pulled away just enough to really look at him and then she smiled at what she saw beneath her.
For he was content, she had made him happy – she saw now that Derek was indeed alive and well again, that he was not holding back – and there inside this private reflective moment, all alone with her would-be lover, trapped deep within the trenches of his once private enclave … she fell just a little bit harder for him.
And with a full heart and an open mind, she watched this man for whom she would eventually become 'everything' to … she watched him now with bated breath as he became captivated by her – wherein the glistening eyes of the man in the Renoir struck her again – as she held Derek hostage now, pushing her knees up in an effort to flank his abdomen with her thighs; she lunged forward and captured his lips with hers in a series of hot, solidifying kisses.
Kisses that said without words that she too was in this thing – whatever this thing was – she wanted it … with him.
And so as she set herself free – on this rare and unexpectedly beautiful April morning – Meredith Grey lost herself for good in Derek Shepherd's capable arms, the two would-be lovers more than captivated by each other – oblivious now to the world all around them as it woke up and chirped and called – for they were consumed by one another and by the force of their own envelopment and that was all the clarity they needed for the moment … yes, for the moment it meant more than 'everything' … to them.
Chapter 12 – Tickle Me Pink – Part 2 of 2 to follow.