Title: Pride and Prejudice
Author: isumi'kivic'
Beta: Mabs-fantasy! *hugs* I missed you~~~!!!
Pairings: YuuriWolfram centric~~
Warning and Disclaimer: See previous chapter, please.
A/N: Ne, minna-san, everyone who had read and reviewed the last chapter, thank you very much! I am very, very glad that there are still people who read this fic. I'm sorry if I didn't meet your expectation—it's been a loooooong while since I wrote any YuuRam. I'm scared I'm screwing everything here up. TT-TT
But then again, all of your wonderful reviews gave me spirit~ Thank you very much! This chapter is dedicated to all of you who had read and reviewed the last chapter.
Of course, to Az-sama for beta-ing this, I love you! *showers Az-sama with hugs and kisses* Thank you for sparing your time dong the job for me. I'll try my best too, from this time on!
And for Rizu-chan, the soulmate I've just found~ thank you for sharing, dearest! I hope we'll have much more time to spend together!!
Here you go, chapter 14~~
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"Koko ni iru yo… itsu date yonderu kara…"—Karma, Bump of Chicken
For you, because I miss you~
-----o0oYuuRamo0o-----
Pride and Prejudice
Chapter 14: Drifting Thoughts
Truth be told, Shibuya Miko was quite surprised to see her youngest son come home without the usual cheerful and goofy smile of his.
Her maternal instinct quickly told her that, yes, something was terribly wrong, something that was bad enough to cause her youngest son to loose his cheerful aura that had always brightened his surroundings. She wanted to ask, she really did, but Yuuri barely gave her a glance as he said "Ofukuro, I'm home," before heading to the back porch and fall into a deep thought, totally oblivious to his surroundings.
She asked Murata about it, of course, but the bespectacled boy only smiled widely and answered cheerfully, "It's the usual love quarrel, Mama-san, no need to worry.." before excusing himself to go back to his own home.
By now, it had been approximately one and a half hours since Yuuri had sat himself on the porch—not having moved even an inch as he lost himself in his own world. And Miko was seriously getting concerned.
"Yuu-chan has been sitting there since he returned," she whispered to Shouri when her eldest finally came down from his room after playing another love-simulation game.
Shouri raised his eyebrows—genuinely curious. "He hasn't moved?"
"Not even an inch," Miko nodded. "Ne, Shou-chan, go talk to your brother and ask what's wrong. Ken-chan told Mama it was just another love quarrel but I think it's a bit more than that,"
Shouri flinched—the image of him talking seriously to Yuuri about love was too odd to entertain. "Err.. well, I don't… I'm not sure…"
"Shou-chan!" Miko scolded, furrowing her eyebrows somewhat comically. "You are Yuu-chan's older brother! No matter how old Yuu-chan is, you still have the responsibility to guide him! Imagine how you would feel if Yuu-chan fell ill from heartbreak? Oh!" she buried her face in her palms, letting out a wail. "Or what if he did something terrible because no one was there to guide him—oh, it's terrible!"
Shouri's left eye twitched and the protective feeling in him flared up. Oh no, he would not let Yuuri go that far! He was Yuuri's older brother alright and Yuuri would always be his cute baby brother—nothing could change that fact—and he had the right to know what was in his brother's life—including problems of his love life!
"Alright," his voice gaining a confident tone, he nodded to his mother. "Leave it to me."
Miko watched her eldest stride straight to the back porch—a big smile on her face. "Good luck Shou-chan!" she waved cheerfully. "I will be making curry while praying for your success! Ah, I hope Uma-chan wouldn't be coming home late tonight…"
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Cecilie stared blankly at her reflection on the surface of her tea.
It had been days since her youngest had fallen into his deep slumber and she hadn't come out of her room since. Not even when she had stood on her room's balcony and heard the familiar song softly being played in the piano in the ballroom. She spent her days lying on her bed, often crying herself to sleep, or standing on her balcony, staring straight into the castle garden, where the colorful flowers still bloomed beautifully—flowers named after her own family, flowers named after her adorable babies…
The maids continued to come and prepare her bath and brought her meals—even though she only ate a little. Gwendal dropped by yesterday to see how she was doing, and uncharacteristically embraced her before leaving to his office—his actions causing her to break down into inconsolable tears once more. Conrad visited her daily, trying to cheer her up with assurance that there were still things they could do for Wolfram—but it was hard to believe him when the half-mazoku didn't appear convinced of that himself.
Cecilie knew it was their way of sharing the pain and guilt the three of them felt. It was their way of dealing with the things going on right now. More than that, it was a proof that they were still a family after all—despite the growing distances caused by their individual responsibilities and country politics.
Since it was not the time for the maids bring her dinner, she was quite surprised at the knocking on her door, firm knocks, three times. She forced herself to rise to her feet, and in a soft voice asked, "Who's there?"
Silence, and then a reply, "It's Greta, Celi-sama,"
Sure enough, when the door swung open, the figure of a certain little princess came into view. Even in a glance, Cecilie could see the pain and sadness etched in Greta's eyes—so she couldn't help but take quick strides to draw the princess into her arms, embracing her tightly.
She felt Greta hug her back.
"Yuuri went back to earth last night," Greta told her when Cecilie let her go. "He asked Greta to tell Celi-sama that he was sorry, and that he'll try anything to make everything right again." Greta paused, hanging her head. "Anissina told Greta what exactly had happen to Wolfram…and…and…"
Seeing the brown-haired girl shaking in her effort not to cry, Cecilie felt her maternal instincts kick in. She patted Greta's head affectionately, asking her to come in and "Join me and drink some tea, Hime-sama?"
Greta agreed, of course.
"Yuuri said he knew everything was partly his fault," Greta said once they were settled with two cups of tea and a plate of cookies sent to Cecilie by one of her lovers in another nation. "He also said that he understands if Celi-sama doesn't want to forgive him, but he asked Celi-sama to at least let him try to make everything right again. He has been thinking about a lot of things lately, Celi-sama."
Cecilie examined the texture of the cookie she held between her slender forefinger and thumb, lost in thought. Truth be told, she actually regretted what she had done to their young Maou—even though she admits that she is still angry, even now. It wasn't exactly all Yuuri's fault—the clueless Maou didn't even have the slightest clue about what or how the curse worked. Yes, it was true that Yuuri had hurt her baby boy countless of times, but then again, hadn't she done the same unconsciously by leaving her task as a mother?
So why did she blame Yuuri for everything?
"Yuuri has been thinking about Wolfram, too, Greta can tell."
Cecilie looked up curiously at the little princess sitting across the table. The princess was smiling softly—a streak of hope lit up her warm eyes.
"The way Yuuri said Wolfram's name has been different…well, Yuuri has always had this fond tone whenever he talked about Wolfram, different from how he talked about anyone else, but lately, even his eyes soften. Greta thinks Yuuri's starting to understand the love he felt for everybody else and the love he felt for Wolfram is different."
Cecilie was quite astonished. Since when had Greta become… so mature? She was only a little girl, but her words didn't resemble her age.
Greta grinned a bit sheepishly—the trait of a naïve child resurfacing. "Greta doesn't really know how Greta could be so sure, but Greta thinks it's true. Yuuri's been thinking a lot, especially about Wolfram, since he found out about the curse." The little princess stared down at her own cup of tea. "Greta wants them to understand each other better, though. But Wolfram…"
Cecilie's lips thinned.
"Greta," she began, not sure how to tell the younger female about her reason of lashing out to Yuuri. "I'm… I'm not sure how to explain this to you… but I deeply regret what I did to Yuuri-Heika. I… forgot my manners and embarrassed myself. But I won't lie—I am still angry at him, for several reasons—and that's probably why I lashed out to him. When Wolfram…" her voice cracked. "When Wolfram… I… there was a need… I just needed to blame someone…"
Greta rose to her feet and circled the table, putting her hands on Cecilie's back and patted her soothingly. "Greta knows, Celi-sama," she murmured, smiling in understanding. "Greta understands. When Anissina told Greta what had happened, Greta was angry, too, but Greta didn't know whom to get angry at, so Greta just cried until Yuuri came."
"Wolfram wouldn't be happy if he knows what I did to Heika," Cecilie whispered, shaking her head. "But I couldn't help it. It would… be a relief if I could convince myself that it's all Heika's fault and that I have the right to be furious, but I can't! I know it's partly my fault—and I feel so ashamed for having lashed out to Heika…"
"Yuuri accepts the blame, Celi-sama," Greta said, a confident tone started to creep into her voice. "And he will make everything right again. He has always fixed what he did wrong all this time, hasn't he?"
And that was a logic Cecilie couldn't disagree with.
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"Ne, Yuu-chan," Shouri started once he sat himself down next to his younger brother. "Coming home in such a foul mood isn't good, you know. Tell me what's wrong."
Yuuri flashed his brother an irritated glance. Really, of all the time, did Shouri have to pick this time to have another protective-older-brother-interrogation?
"Don't call me Yuu-chan," he muttered darkly. "And nothing's wrong."
"Yuu-chan, you know you're a bad actor. Did something bad happen in Shin Makoku?"
Yuuri kept silent—which Shouri took as a confirmation that, indeed, there was something really wrong.
"Is this about your engagement? Did that fiancé of yours force you to get married?"
Shouri waited for another fit of "It was an accident—the engagement was! Stop teasing me about it! It was all an accident!", but to his shock, there was no response coming from the younger Shibuya.
"Yuu-chan?"
From the front door, there was a shout of "I'm home!" that belonged to their father, and a squeal of "Welcome back, Uma-chan!" from their mother—telling Shouri that his father was home. Yuuri spared a glance inside, but then was back again staring off into the distance.
"It's not about that." He finally answered.
"Then what? That friend of yours told mother that this was another lovers quarrel you had—wait!" Shouri gasped comically. "It can't be…Wolfram isn't pregnant with your child, is he?"
Yuuri's head snapped up, eyes wide in disbelief. "Shouri!" he shrieked. "Wolfram is a boy, for Shinou's sake! He can't get pregnant!"
Shouri shrugged. "Why not? A Mazoku is different from a mere human—maybe they have a way—some kind of magic or something—to make their males pregnant. And your fiancé is a bit too feminine and girly for a boy, too, I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually a girl…"
"Wolfram is not a girl, and he is nowhere near feminine or girly!"
"Mother once told me he wore a pink nightgown to bed."
"That doesn't make him girly, Shouri! Not when he can toast you up any time he wants or put his sword just right before your neck in a second!"
Shouri raised an eyebrow—weird, his brother had never defended his so-called fiancé that intensely before. "Yuu-chan…?"
"Aaah!! Did Mama hear it right, Yuu-chan? Wolf-chan is pregnant with your child? How marvelous! Now we could plan a wedding right away!"
Both Yuuri and Shouri had to back away when their immensely excited mother came bouncing into the back porch, followed by a stunned Shouma behind her. Miko's eyes were twinkling in happiness.
Yuuri swallowed nervously. "Ofukuro," he began, voice gaining an edge. He wanted to be left alone, for God's sake! "Wolfram is not pregnant with my child."
Miko's face fell. "Eh? Then he's pregnant with another person's child? What a pity… see, Yuu-chan? You will lose such a beauty to another person if you don't act quickly... aah… now you've lost Wolf-chan…"
An unexpected pain squeezed his heart at the mention of loss—Yuuri unconsciously gritted his teeth. He hung his head and pressed his lips together—the feeling of being useless and the emptiness came back and filled his heart.
"Yuu-chan?" Shouma reached out to touch his youngest son's shoulder. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
Yuuri stared blankly at the wooden floor he sat on. Opening his mouth, he choked out in a raw voice, "I lost him." He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows. "I lost him. I lost him to that stupid curse…and it's all my fault. And now everyone's mad at me…even Conrad. I want… I want to make everything right again…but I have no idea how… and I just…" he buried his face in his palms. "I want to be forgiven…"
Silence ruled over the four of them for several moments, until the rustle of Miko's dress broke it as she moved forward to take Yuuri's head into her embrace. "Oh, Yuu-chan…" she cooed. "Yuu-chan, it's alright. You can cry, go on, it'll make everything better. Oh, Yuu-chan…"
"I can't." Yuuri choked out, voice thick with desperation. "I can't. I can't feel anything… everything's just… empty…"
-----o0oYuuRamo0o-----
Beautiful flowers and fresh green grass spread before him—a carpet made by nature, unexceptionally beautiful. The clear blue sky—with the sun shyly hiding half of itself behind the white clouds. Childish laughter echoed, and with the sound of bare feet pounding on the grass, they made an oratorio of their own, added with the sound of water running in the river nearby. The smell of spring tickled his nose, inviting him to step into the beautiful meadow.
Several small children stopped in their tracks when he approached the meadow—looking curiously at him with their big smiles etched on their face.
"You have made your choice?" A little girl about Greta's age neared him, eyes twinkling in enthusiasm. It was a statement, though, not a question.
He hesitated a bit, looking around to once again take in what was before him. The happy faces, the cheerful laughter, the bright smiles, the twinkling eyes. Luring him in, inviting him to join.
He closed his eyes.
"Yes."
The girl smiled, nodding as she tugged at his left hand—and he stepped into the meadow.
Opening his eyes—the emerald orbs were now slightly dull.
The girl looked up at him and smiled brightly.
"Welcome to your happiness."
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"Wolfram…"
Yuuri's eyes slowly opened—the darkness of his room welcoming him. He stared blankly at nothingness for several seconds—or was it minutes? Hours?—before finally turning slightly towards his bedside drawer. The alarm clock said it was two in the morning.
A rustle was heard as Yuuri pulled himself to a sitting position.
He was dreaming of Wolfram.
He could recall the blond looking at him with a bright smile, blinking innocently—his emerald eyes twinkled oh-so beautifully—as he waved, beckoning Yuuri to come—but that was all Yuuri could remember. He couldn't remember where it was, or what had happened in his dream.
He inhaled as the familiar empty feeling enclosed him again.
The memory of his golden-haired fiancé made his chest tightened. It was the only thing he could feel—pain. Other than that—nothing.
Ha hated feeling like this. Moreover, he hated that Wolfram was not there by his side to reassure him that everything was alright.
Damn. He was so selfish. Yuuri mentally scolded himself for wishing Wolfram to be there. He had hurt Wolfram all too often—unconsciously or not, he was still at fault. He wasn't supposed to be hoping for Wolfram to be by his side, he was supposed to be by Wolfram's side at this time!
He swallowed. All the time, he told Wolfram how selfish the prince was—not even thinking about his own selfishness.
He slowly left his bed, making his way out of his room and down to the kitchen. Maybe he would feel better if he drank a glass of warm milk. And then he could start thinking—of ways to wake Wolfram up, of ways to apologize to everybody—to Wolfram—, of ways to make everything right again, of his engagement, of his own feelings to Wolfram.
"Yuu-chan? You're still awake?" a soft voice belonged to his mother halted his movement of pouring the milk into a pan. He looked up to see Miko in front of the kitchen door, looking sleepy.
"Ofukuro," he gave her a smile. "Yeah… I woke up, so I think I'll have a glass of warm milk. Why are you up?"
"It's Mama, Yuu-chan and I heard you coming down the stairs," Miko replied, the cheerful tone made its way to her voice despite the sleepiness. She walked over to Yuuri and took away the pan and the milk from her son's hands, shooing him away to the table. "Leave this to Mama, ne, Yuu-chan?"
A small smile crept up on Yuuri's face as he did what her mother said.
Miko hummed softly as she poured the milk into the pan and put it on the stove, warming it up a little bit. She put a bit of chocolate in it—she'd always liked it that way, and it really worked in getting a person to sleep better. Getting two big mugs, she poured the milk carefully into it and walked back to the table.
Finding Yuuri once again deep in thought, she smiled softly, placing one mug before her son. "Here you go, Yuu-chan."
"Thank you, Ofukuro," he mumbled—still half thinking. Miko took a seat across her youngest son, watching Yuuri's thinking face for several moments, before she giggled.
Yuuri came back to reality at that. "What's so funny?"
"Nothing," Miko said cheerfully. "Mama was just thinking how fast you've grown up, Yuu-chan. Look at you just now. You have the face of a real King."
Yuuri blinked, and immediately blushed when his mother's statement sunk in. "I…guess.." he said slowly. "But… I still am as clueless and helpless as ever…"
Miko frowned. "Now, who told you that?"
"No one," Yuuri said absent-mindedly. "But really… I've only been a burden for everybody. I need help from Gwendal and Günter to even understand the documents I need to sign, I have Conrad protecting me at all time and at all cost, I have the maids helping me tidying up my room, I have Greta helping me studying the mazoku language…and I have Wolfram by my side all the time. And what do I give them in return? I screwed everything up." He sighed, curling his fingers around the warm mug. "I'm no good as a King. I'm just an ordinary boy. I can't even be sure of my own feeling…"
Miko studied her son's face for a moment, before a smile brightened up her features.
"Ne, Yuu-chan, do you remember the movie Pride and Prejudice we watched together?"
Yuuri raised his eyebrow. "The movie you forced me to watch with you months ago? Yeah, I do."
Miko pouted. "How mean, Yuu-chan!" she sighed. "Saa, then Mama will guess that you never mulled over the movie's theme, did you?"
Yuuri blinked. "Err... is it that important?"
Miko wiggled his finger before Yuuri's face. "You're not thinking about the essential, Yuu-chan. Theme is essential." She paused, and continued, "The essential is unseen by eyes, only seen by hearts."
Yuuri blinked again, clearly confused.
Miko laughed. "Wolf-chan has found what's essential, Yuu-chan, Mama's sure about it. How about you?"
"Me?"
"Yes, you. When you understand yourself, you might be able to understand what's been there between you and Wolf-chan all this time." She smiled. "Don't you ever wonder, Yuu-chan, why Mama has never opposed the idea of you being engaged to Wolf-chan even thought he's a boy? Mama's heart saw what's essential when the first time Mama saw you both together."
"I don't… understand…" Yuuri said unsurely. "I… both he and I are boys… I just… it's wrong, isn't it?"
"That's your prejudice talking," Miko smiled. "If you really feel it's wrong for both of you to be engaged, why didn't you cancel the engagement back then, Yuu-chan?"
"You don't understand, Ofukuro," Yuuri muttered. "Wolfram's being so…serious about it, and I… I just can't hurt him…"
Miko cocked her head innocently. "But you do know you're hurting him more by not canceling it."
Yuuri was taken aback. "…I…"
"That's your pride talking, Yuu-chan," Miko grinned victoriously. "Really, the real problem is just your pride, your prejudice, Wolf-chan's pride, and his prejudice. You both have the exact same problem."
Silence. Yuuri stared at the swirling, warm liquid in his mug, pondering over what his mother had just said. Was that it? Their problem? Was that it? His problem? The very thing that made him unable to see the essential—as his mother put it? And what was essential, actually? What was between him and Wolfram all this time?
"Don't try to answer that now, Yuu-chan. It's not something you can find the answer to in a minute of thinking," Miko rose to her feet, smiling brightly. "Just try to think it over without your pride and prejudice clouding your judgment. You'll be able to see then. You have time, don't you?"
"Ofukuro…"
"It's Mama, Yuu-chan," she reminded him, grinning. "Say, Yuu-chan, what do you really want right now?"
Yuuri blinked, staring at his mother in confusion. "What I… want?"
"Yes. What you really want. Think about it, ne?"
With that, Miko hummed all the way to the sink, rinsing her own mug of chocolate milk, and left the kitchen after biding her youngest son good night.
Yuuri stayed there, staring blankly into the content of his mug.
What he wanted…
He wanted everything to be right again. He wanted to be forgiven. He wanted to make amends for everything he'd done wrong. He wanted to start all over, and do it right this time. He wanted to be reassured that he could do what he was supposed to do, whether he did something right or not. And above everything… he wanted…
"I want him…" he breathed as he hung his head. For the first time, anguish was clear on his face. "I want Wolfram."
-----o0oYuuRamo0o-----
Greta held the familiar yellow flower in her hand tightly. This wasn't the first time she entered the sacred Shinou's Shrine, but somehow, the building always gave her a sense of anxiety and nervousness whenever she was there, despite the kind and friendly shrine maidens who always accompanied her when she came here by herself.
It had been exactly two weeks since Wolfram had fallen asleep, she thought as she followed one of the Shrine maidens to the room where Wolfram's body was kept, and one week since Yuuri had gone back to Earth.
Greta had taken a habit of visiting Wolfram every morning—bringing one Beautiful Wolfram at every visit she made. It was the best she could do, because wherever Wolfram's spirit was now, she didn't want him to be lonely. Anissina clearly said that Wolfram wasn't dead, and they all would try their hardest to find any way to wake him up.
The Shrine maiden opened the humongous door leading to where Wolfram was, and without hesitation, Greta walked in by herself. She was relieved that the maiden didn't follow her like the first time she had come to visit Wolfram. It made her feel like she was being watched.
"Wolfram," she called cheerfully as she neared the blond's body on the pedestal, wrapped in soft blue glow up until his neck. Putting the Beautiful Wolfram beside her so-called father, she continued, "Greta comes again. Can you hear Greta?"
Silence answered the little princess, but Greta loved to imagine that wherever Wolfram was now, he was listening to her.
"Yuuri hasn't come back from Earth, but Greta is sure he will in a couple of days. He promised to come back," reaching out to play with a golden curl, Greta absent-mindedly started her rambling. "Greta talked to Celi-sama yesterday. She's feeling much better and she came out for dinner, too. Dinner is still too quiet, but at least everybody showed up."
Taking in the sleeping face of the prince, Greta murmured, "Everybody misses you, Wolfram."
Shaking her head—she didn't want the atmosphere to turn sad, Wolfram wouldn't like it—Greta quickly continued, "Gwendal and Conrad are really busy, but they're okay, and Gisela said they'll make full recovery in three days. Oh, and it's only another week from your birthday, right? Do you think Celi-sama would be happy if Greta suggested to have a small party for you? Just for the castle! Greta already got you some presents, Wolfram, and Greta will give them to you when you wake up."
She kept talking for what seemed like hours—voice cracking sometimes when she couldn't hold her tears, but then she would smile again. Because Anissina had told her so, right? When men are useless, it was up to the women to be strong for them.
Greta smoothed the golden strands—mentally reminding herself to bring a comb tomorrow. She affectionately patted Wolfram's hair, and murmured, "Greta will be back tomorrow, Wolfram."
She had just turned around to leave when a melodious voice reverberated throughout the room, "Visiting him again? You are such a good girl, Hime-sama."
Greta whirled around, and saw a figure now quite familiar—a figure resembling the sleeping prince. "Shinou-Heika?"
Shinou stepped out from the shadow of the pillars, smiling at the girl. "Yes, this is me."
Out of reflex, Greta gave a curtsy. "Greta's sorry. Greta didn't notice Shinou-Heika earlier..." she spoke out nervously. "Did Greta disturb something?"
"Not at all, Hime-sama," the small, soft voice belonged to Ulrike, came from behind. Greta turned her head to see the priestess walking into the room gracefully, smiling at her. "You have actually been a great help." She gazed at the pedestal. "Shinou-Heika…"
"Yes," there was a satisfaction lacing the Original King's voice. "The door is starting to appear."
"Door?" Greta blinked, her eyes following where Shinou and Ulrike were gazing at. Her eyes then widened—she hadn't realized it before. High above the pedestal, above Wolfram's sleeping figure, some kind of golden substance had accumulated and made a vague shape resembling a door.
"It appeared faster than I expected," Shinou smiled. "I would put a guess that this is thanks to Hime-sama's visit everyday. His heart has started to open a way, I hope, to where his spirit is currently."
"Eh?" Greta blinked, apparently having no idea of what the other two were talking about.
Ulrike tugged at her hand and smiled brightly. "You have played a big part in saving Von Bielefeld-kyo, Hime-sama. Thank you."
"…Greta has?" Greta was totally confused. All she did was visiting Wolfram everyday, and the Great Original King and Ulrike said she had played a big part in saving her 'father'? What did that have to do with everything. What was the weird now-door-shaped-substance anyway?
Ulrike nodded. "Yes, you have. Now, excuse me for saying this, but please ask a maiden waiting outside to see you off. I have to help Shinou-Heika perform the next ritual."
"Umm.. alright, I understand…" Greta gave a tentative smile. She turned to Shinou and gave another curtsy, before hurrying out of the room. It was almost sunset anyway, and no one in the castle would be pleased if she came home late.
She glanced at the weird golden substance again, etching the shape into her mind. If whatever this is going to wake Wolfram up, she just had to tell everybody, right?
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A/N: Yosh, done! Ugh, my English is really, really degrading. I mean.. when I got this chapter back from Az-sama, I realized how many mistakes I've made! Even the simplest one! And I think I went back to my habit of repeating things—using the same word again and again.. ugh. I need to practice.
Thank you for reading! Leave a review or a constructive criticisms, please? I'd love that!
