Disclaimer: SM owns everything Twilight related. I own nothing but this little story.
A huge thankyou to everyone who has read & rec'd my story! You can also find me on FB - Addictedto Fanfiction or my group - Addicted2... Little Miss Norty's Fic
***CHAPTER WARNING***
This chapter contains physical abuse. Please do not read if this may be upsetting to you.
This chapter has kicked my ass ever since I started writing it over a month ago. My heartfelt thanks goes out to my girls Daph, Roni and Mon who have calmed me down and talked me through it. More than once I wondered what the heck I was doing writing. Anyways, it's done! Please leave me a review & let me know what you think.
Ready to find out who James is?
BPOV
Rolling over, I realise I'm not in my own bed. The sheets smell different, and the bed is far too comfortable. Not ready to open my eyes at that moment, I stretch my limbs out, star-fishing across the bed. I yawn rather widely, scrubbing at my eyes. Thoughts from last night start to filter through. Oh shit—Edward! I'm here, in his house, in his bed. I sit up with a fright, looking around the room to make certain he's not here. I'm not sure I can face him after last night. The details are fuzzy and I can't quite remember how much I told him, or how hysterical I might have been. I sure as hell don't want to face a pity party this morning, but I will be forever grateful for Edward turning up last night.
I recall James turning up at my door, then me calling Edward. I sigh, unsure of how I'm going to get out of telling Edward. I don't want to tell him, I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me.
Turning, I nuzzle my face into his pillows and breathe in deeply. This is so wrong, but feels so right. I gasp as an errant thought suddenly runs through my head: what if he has a girlfriend, or wife for that matter? I've probably put him in a really bad position. Lifting my head slowly from the pillow, I glance around, taking in the room. There doesn't seem to be any female belongings, but that doesn't mean anything.
I'm interrupted from worrying over Edward's relationship status as the memory of my living nightmare comes rushing back. I duck my head under the pillow, trying to hide from my recent torment, but it just won't leave me alone, as my brain continually makes me relive it, over and over again. Running...running so fast that my legs are burning. Adrenaline keeps my body moving. My heart pounds in my chest as the ache of lactic acid courses through my body, threatening to halt my escape.
But it's not enough, it's never enough.
Heavy footsteps draw my tormentor closer. So close that his thick, heavy breaths pant against my ear, sending chills up my spine. The stale mix of alcohol and cigarettes permeates the air. I try to pick up my pace to get away, but he's too fast, his reach is too long. Air is restricted from entering my lungs as his powerful hands encircle my neck. I kick and claw at him, which only makes him laugh and squeeze tighter. He releases me just before I lose consciousness. My throat burns as I take in gasping gulps of air and slump to the floor.
The nightmares vary, but always have the same ending. He catches me, and always kills me. I shouldn't be surprised the horrific dreams are back. James' arrival last night triggered the visions. Breaking myself away from reliving the terror, I recount the events of the early hours this morning: Edward running in and holding me in his arms, whispering words of comfort. I begged him to stay with me, and I shouldn't have done that. Now I've put us both in an awkward position.
A smile drifts across my face when I remember, he's a snuggler. I startled once during the wee hours, waking to find him wrapped around me. He was warm and smelled so good, but I knew I should leave. I tried to move away, but he drew me back into his arms. Sleepy murmurs escaped his lips as he cuddled closer. I've never felt more safe in my life.
Turning my head toward the window, the sun seems brighter than what is normal for the early morning. I also feel more refreshed than I would after only a couple of hours sleep. Grabbing some clothes and my toiletries, I freshen up in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, an almost unknown face stares back at me. The dark circles and bloodshot eyes are a testament to the rough night I've had. It's going to take some heavy-duty concealer to cover up these bags. I give myself a long look in the mirror, then throw my makeup back in its case. Making myself beautiful is the least of my worries.
Right now, the smell of bacon wafting through the apartment is making my mouth water. I trudge down the hallway, the aroma of breakfast cooking getting stronger with each step. If the apartment wasn't so small, I would have found the kitchen by following my nose. I poke my head around the corner, only to find Edward standing over the small stove, frying bacon and eggs. He looks better than sin, dressed in cotton sleep pants and a t-shirt. The scruff on his face is more than I've ever seen him with; my fingers itch to run over his jaw. Knowing I can't stand here and stare at him all day, I make myself known with a subtle clearing of my throat and an unsure "Hi". Shuffling from foot to foot, I couldn't look more uncomfortable if I tried. Images of him with his arms wrapped around me flash through my head, making me feel even more awkward. He doesn't seem to be affected at all, though.
My panic resurfaces when he tells me he's called in sick for me today. I know more people are going to want answers. He assures me that he's held Aro off, and that everything will be fine. Directing me to the small dining room, he places a hearty meal of bacon, eggs and toast in front of me. My stomach is still unsettled after everything that happened last night.
Making small talk over breakfast, I work up the courage to ask the question that's been rolling around in my head.
"So, Edward, where's Mrs Cullen?" Ugh real classy Bella. Internally face-palming myself, I glance up and see a lopsided smirk.
"The only Mrs Cullen around now is my mother, thank God. Nothing to be worried about Bella. Eat up, then we're going to watch a movie." Not quite the answer I was looking for, but at least I know he's not married. We finish our breakfast in comfortable silence. A false sense of security washes over me, but sooner or later I'll have to spill the beans. Edward brings me back to the present by wiggling his fingers in front of me, gesturing for my empty plate.
"Go grab a DVD to watch while I clean up in here. They're under the TV cabinet." His tone leaves no room for argument, so I do as he asks.
The cabinet covers the length of the wall, with a flat screen perched on top. His vast collection of DVD's covers a variety of genres. I pick out a comedy, figuring that's the safest choice for now. Edward enters with a couple of cans of soda, plonks himself on the couch and pats the cushion next to him, signaling for me to take a seat. Long legs stretch out in front of him and his hands are clasped behind his head, there's no hint of awkwardness from him, although something hangs in the air.
My eyes unintentionally drift down his body and come to a standstill at his lap. I let out a muffled moan as I try to control my inner whore. I imagine myself straddling his legs and grinding against his dick. The noise has got Edward's attention, he cocks an eyebrow, asking if I'm ok. Nodding, I tell him to start the movie.
I'm anxious the whole way through and fighting different emotions. On one hand, I want to jump Edward's bones, on the other I'm petrified with having to share my past with him. Halfway through the show, he suddenly pauses it.
"I'm sorry Bella, I can't sit here any longer without knowing. You need to tell me what last night was all about. So many different scenarios are running through my head and I'm driving myself nuts. Please, please tell me what happened," he begs, concern written all over his face. There's no denying this any longer, so I might as well get it all out.
"Ok, but I'll need a box of tissues," I tell him in a defeated voice. This is going to be fucking hard.
He comes back in the room, and places the tissues on the coffee table. I turn sideways on the couch, tucking one leg underneath myself, trying to get comfortable. My posture belies the turmoil inside.
"Before I start, I need to make some rules." Confusion clouds his face, and I understand why.
"The reason I've never told anyone this, is because I don't want, or need their pity. I need you to stay where you are," I say, holding up my hand, "and just let me get it all out. I know you'll have questions, but if you can wait until I'm finished I'll answer what I can. If there's anything I don't want to explain, I'll say so."
He nods, probably wondering what the hell I'm going to tell him. I try to see if I can get out of this, or at least inform him of the bare essentials.
"I can tell by your face that you're not going to let this go. So, I'm asking if I give you the abridged, or the full version?"
He contemplatively cocks his head to the side and after a few long seconds, he answers, "The full. That way I'll have less questions for you." I knew he was going to say that, I don't even know why I bothered.
Crossing my other leg underneath me, I move the tissue box beside me. Wringing my hands together, tears start to pool in my eyes already.
"I...I don't even know where to start," I stutter out. Feeling the couch dip, I look up to see Edward sitting Indian style also.
"How about you start by telling me who James is." His tone is soothing. Unfortunately, no amount of reassurance is going to make this any easier to get through.
I take a deep breath, it's now or never.
"James—" My voice quivers as I speak. "—James is my brother."
Opening my eyes, I see Edward is on edge. Shocked doesn't cover the expression on his face. His knee is bouncing and his posture tense. Reaching his hand out to me, I hold up my own to stop him.
"Please Edward, just let me get this out. It will make sense once I tell you, ok?"
Nodding, he drops his hand and lets me continue.
"He's five years older than me. He was always the golden child-excelled at everything he did. At the time, I felt like he was my parents' favourite. Mom died when I was ten and he was fifteen..." A sob catches in my throat, as I'm transported back to that time. "He went off the rails. At first it was little stuff, alcohol, a bit of dope. You know the usual that teenagers get caught up in. Dad was too affected by grief over losing our mother to notice that James was getting into trouble. The police would show up any time of the day or night, wanting to question him over numerous offences. Breaking and entering, car theft. You name it, he was in on it. Of course Dad didn't give a shit. At that stage the bottle was his best friend and all that mattered."
"James eventually left home. He was a law unto himself anyway. Charlie figured I was better off without James' influence. I don't know why he cared, he was just as bad. We heard from James every now and then, mostly phone calls when he was looking for money. Word around was he was on the hard stuff - coke, meth, heroine. He was basically a lost cause. Charlie didn't have the money to put him into rehab. Hell, he needed to go himself, but there was no one to force him."
Needing to pace, I rise from the couch. This is the hard part, and I don't know how I'm going to tell Edward. I glance up to see he's changed position. His elbows are resting on his knees, but his eyes are fixed on me, his eyebrows furrowed.
I start to gnaw at my fingernails. It's a bad habit that I can't help. By the time I'm finished here my nails will be all gone.
"Bella, it's ok, you can tell me the rest. I won't think any less of you."
My hands are starting to shake and a tightness settles in on my chest. I take deep, calming breaths, trying to work up the courage to share my story. Ten years of dealing with all this on my own, and now someone else is going to know. I don't want Edward to see me as weak, or think I'm a fruit loop because I have these attacks. But he's pushing me for more, so he's going to know.
"When I was fifteen, I came home sick from school. I knew as soon as I entered the house that something was wrong. I called out to Charlie, but he didn't answer me. Assuming he'd passed out, I went to my room to lie down. When I walked past the kitchen, a figure caught my eye. I thought it was weird, as Charlie hadn't answered when I called."
I stop speaking and start to hyperventilate. Edwards starts to get up from his chair, but I hold my hand up and shake my head, indicating that he needs to stay where he is.
A few moments later, I gather myself together and continue.
"When I got to the kitchen, I found Charlie passed out on the floor. It wasn't unusual to find him like that. I'd always end up having to drag his sorry ass to bed. Next thing I knew, someone had grabbed me in a headlock from behind. I was shoved into a wall head first. It was then that I heard James' voice, demanding to know where Charlie kept all the money."
"I knew Charlie didn't have any money, and told him as much. I could smell the alcohol on his stale breath, and he reeked of weed. He was irrational, verbally abusive and hyped up, making unreasonable demands. The more I said I didn't know where the money was, the more he beat me. He dragged me by my hair from the kitchen to the dining room and pummelled into me further. At one point, he grabbed a chair and smashed it over my leg. I knew straight away that it was broken. By this stage I was beyond fighting, there was nothing I could do to defend myself."
Saying it out loud feels surreal, like it happened to someone else. It doesn't feel like my life, more like something you'd read in a newspaper, or see on TV.
Tears flood my eyes, and pour down my face. Edward rises from his seat, but I back away from him. This is why I didn't want to tell anyone. I can't let anyone think that I'm weak, or I need protection. He halts his movements, but his fists clench by his side. I don't know if he's restraining himself from reaching out to touch me or what, but from the look on his face I'd say he's closer to punching a wall.
"That's not the worst of it. He'd obviously realised that he wasn't going to get anything, so he picked me up like a ragdoll and threw me through the plate glass doors of the dining room."
An audible gasp erupts from Edward. I can now see the tears building in his eyes, the horror of what I've been through, reflected on his face.
"I don't know how long I was out for, or even who found me. I was taken to hospital where I underwent surgery for massive internal bleeding, they stitched up the open wounds and repaired my broken leg. I had nineteen staples to close my head wound." I take the hair band out of my hair and flick my head over to show him the six inch scar on my scalp. I'm lucky enough that with my thick hair it's not all that noticeable unless you know it's there.
I can't look at him, I don't want to see the pity on his face. Taking another deep breath, I continue.
"Two hundred and thirty-two stitches over numerous parts of my body, mostly my right side where I went through the door. Broken eye socket, facial fractures and a brain hemorrhage. I was put in a medically induced coma for a week until they could reduce the swelling on my brain." I make it all sound so clinical, a bunch of statistics that I rattle off like I'm talking about someone else. But this is it, the breaking point. All this has been locked away in my head for so long. Now my dirty little secret is exposed, my dysfunctional family and screwed up life will now be out in the open for all to see.
"He nearly killed me." I gasp out. Finally losing it, I slump to the ground in defeat. All these years of holding this inside finally come pouring out like Niagara Falls.
I feel strong, warm arms circling me. Edward picks me up and carries me to his bedroom, whispering words of comfort in my ear. While still holding me, he pulls back the covers and slides in beside me. I start to protest, worried that he's pitying me.
"Ssshhh Bella, relax baby. Let me comfort and look after you the way you deserve. The way you should have been all these years." His voice is like a warm bath, enveloping my body, and relaxing me.
I'm emotionally exhausted, so I close my eyes and rest my head on Edward's chest. I concentrate on his fingers leaving soft trails on my back. Before I know it, I'm in the deepest sleep I've had for a very long time.
Sooo... Are we all ok? Some of you were correct in guessing that James is Bella's brother. Oh boy, has she been through some shit or what?! She definitely needs some saving and Edward's just the man to do it :) He'll be back next week with some questions for Bella.
As I've posted this early (especially for you Leigh!) I'll be back to my normal posting schedule. Next one will be Sunday week.
Recs for this week...
Cherry Sours by rubyblue9696
Summary: "It's more than a promise, beautiful…because this...you and me...it's happening right now..." - Manwhore Restaurateur Edward and Artsy Independent Single Mom Bella. Old high school crushes & thirty-something hot crazyness! Oh, and some little red cherry candies, too! Who will break first? Or rather, who never stood a chance to begin with? - WARNING: Over 18 only for Language/Lemons
Floving this fic! Can't wait for the next update :)
Episode by BoydBlog
Summary: Bella Swan is a writer that is on a trip of a lifetime. Edward Cullen is a famous actor, whose life is a blur of film-sets, hotels and screaming fans. A destined encounter and a battle of mind over matter erupt amongst sensual music and a shared longing.
Gah! Love me some Actorward.
Elusively Yours by GemmaH
Summary: Edward Cullen has just one rule for his sex life: The moms he picks up in the schoolyard have to be involved with someone else. It's the perfect system, until he meets Bella Swan. He thought that he set the terms, apparently nobody thought to tell Bella.
Just finished this, loved it!
Blood and Glory by drotuno
Summary: The definition of a mercenary is a soldier for hire. His crew are trained fighting machines. Hers are smart PIs. What happens when they need each other to survive? Canon couples. AH/AU. Rated M for lots of reasons, including violence and lemons.
One of those fics you put off reading, then wonder why the hell you did! I'm about half way through & loving it so far :)
That's all for this week. Please don't forget to review, I'd love to know what you think. Sonia xx