A/N: As always, thank you very much for your continued reading and support :) This here's a bit of a transitional chapter, a kind of a breather after the previous.

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy XIII/XIII-2 belong to Square Enix.

Chapter 14: Awkward Roundabout

Breakfast was provided by a smiling Mrs Estheim and aided by Noel. Lightning made her way to the table with her sister and Vanille, the latter already bouncing this early in the morning. She gritted her teeth, feeling as though her nerve-endings were frayed, her heart beating too fast at the possibility that she would have to face him at the breakfast table. But after a filling meal of pancakes with strawberries and syrup, coffee and juice, after discussions on shopping sprees and wedding dress shapes and fabrics—none of which she provided much contribution to—one part of her was relieved and a greater part worried that she hadn't seen him at all.

Maybe he went to see his former girlfriend last night after what happened between us, was the unfair and begrudging thought that sprang to mind which she quickly tried to suppress. She had pushed him away, literally shut the door in his face. It shouldn't be surprising if he should turn to another, someone less confusing, someone more certain of herself and her feelings.

After a concerned look from Nora, Noel offered to search for his wayward brother, and twenty minutes later, returned to say he'd found him asleep in the library, buried under books on monster biology.

Lightning closed her eyes, feeling sick at being mistrustful.

"Hey," said Serah, noticing that her usual silence held something more, and touched her tense shoulder. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, and replied curtly, "Just didn't sleep well."

After getting ready for the rest of the day, she waited with the others by the hover car in the driveway, leant against the back passenger door and tried not to twist her hands together. She didn't do nervous, and she willed herself to calm down, reaching deep inside for the pool of anger that was constant, that made her hard, insurmountable, unreachable. Her mask in place, when he finally appeared—hair still wet with a crumbled pancake in his mouth and a coffee thermos in his hand—their eyes met briefly before each quickly looked away. Serah stared puzzledly at her when she found Lightning had taken her spot, before shrugging and making her way for the front passenger seat.

It didn't take long to reach the Palumpolum Garden Mall. At nine in the morning, the external doors were already open but only the food courts and restaurants were bustling with activity. The stores themselves officially opened at nine-thirty. The main promenade of the mall was almost packed with people anticipating the main event of the day, and Hope led them through the side, almost empty avenue that led to the specialty, non-franchise shops where Serah's appointment was located.

On seeing the store windows of M&M Bridals with its displays of various wedding gowns, her sister and Vanille ran excitedly towards it, peering and pointing like children at a candy store. Noel and Hope, on the other hand, gravitated towards the store right across from it.

"Ars Amatoria Love Shop," read Noel aloud, eyes flickering to its covered door and lone display window.

"That's pretty redundant," remarked Hope with a tilt of his head.

"How so?"

"It means 'The Art of Love' Love Shop."

"Huh."

Lightning stood in the middle between the two stores, trying to surreptitiously see over the men's shoulders at the display. She could make out a torso of a mannequin wearing a contraption of lace, hardly providing support nor leaving much to the imagination. Scowling—and trying to keep her blush to a minimum—she couldn't help wondering if he would like to see her in something like that, the kind of 'clothing' Jihl recommended she bring for the trip.

But there wouldn't be much of a chance of that happening, now, would it? Not until she could sort herself out. It didn't take a genius to know that, with all the grievous bodily and emotional harm she'd done to him, he'd have reached his limit and would think twice about approaching her again. Exhaling a breath, she walked over to where the two women still fawned at the bridal gowns, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she got closer, trying not to imagine herself in those poofy, fairy tale concoctions, and attempted to drown out the remembrance of the first words he ever spoke to her.

This was Serah's day, and she wouldn't let herself be swept away by the dreamy words of a boy from long ago. After all, that wouldn't be like her at all.

The eyes of the young men roamed over the goods promised beyond the window they gazed at. The offering was sedate, tame—considering that around this area there was a chance that children might pass by—but there was enough to entice adults into checking out what else lay beyond the door of the Ars Amatoria Love Shop.

On a dais was a mannequin's torso wearing a teddy of black and red lace, with garters dangling in front of where the legs should be. On a swirl of satin fabric below it was a pair of matching ruffled panties, and to the side on an easel was a book bearing the title of Daily Positions: 365 Ways to Make Love.

Hope gave his younger brother a teasing nudge with his elbow. "You wanna go in?"

"No!" exclaimed Noel quickly. Then hesitatingly, in sotto voce admitted, "Kind of."

The silver-haired laughed. "Well, you're allowed now, so you should go for it. Could learn a thing or two."

"Shut up, okay. So I'm waiting for the right moment. Vanille and I just started up. And I want it to be special." The last word was mumbled almost incoherently.

Hope rubbed his head. "That's sweet."

Noel swatted his hand away. "Fuck off."

Hope laughed. "No, really. It's good that you're really serious about her. So how far have you gotten?"

"Like I'll really tell you."

"Actually, come to think of it, I don't really want to know. She's still my ex, after all. And that's just...yeah, no." Another laugh.

Noel cleared his throat, eyes concentrated on the book prominently showcased. "So."

Hope's eyes flickered to him at his sudden change in tone, coldness and detachment hooding the clear green. "So," he parroted.

"You weren't in your room."

"Yes?"

"And your balcony door was open."

"Yes?"

"Aren't you...? Did something...?"

"Couldn't sleep. Went to the library," was the swift evasive reply. "Been curious about flans lately."

Noel gave him a weird look before shaking his head and chalking that up to Hope's general strangeness and constant need to learn about things. "Do I wanna know what brought that on?"

"Only if you really, really want to know, like would-die-not-knowing want to know."

"Ugh. No, thanks."

A small laugh, and then, quietly, Hope continued, "I guess you could call it a defence mechanism."

"Flans?"

"Yeah, in a way."

"Um. What?"

"When you're robbed of everything else, you only have your mind left, really."

"Okay. You lost me."

"That's okay. It's just as well. It's about nothing anyway." His green eyes landed on Lightning's reflection at the window, a smile he did not feel tugged at the corner of his lips. "Maybe in the end, that's all everything is."

"Is this still about flans?"

Hope sighed, pushing his hands in his pockets. "Yes. Everything is about flans."

"Well, I'm talking about you and..." Noel tilted his head to the figure behind them, and his brother just gave him a questioning look.

"Who?"

"You know."

"You-know-who?"

"No, not that one."

"Who?"

"Stop being obtuse!"

"I'm not. I honestly don't know who you're talking about."

"Uh, the one you're supposed to man up to."

Hope scratched his head, sighing. "Do you know that flans are—"

"I don't bloody well want to know about flans!"

"O-kay."

"I'm trying to have a proper conversation here."

Hope opened his mouth, but was cut off.

"And don't mention flans being a proper topic to talk about."

The silver-haired deflated. "What's there to say?"

"Serah, Vanille, and I gave you two a lot of opportunities to be alone to work whatever issues you guys have—"

"I noticed."

"—and you didn't even bother to do anything about it. You're hopeless, seriously."

"What can I say? It's all complicated."

"What's complicated about it? You're crazy about her—everyone can see that. And Serah said that Lightning had been behaving differently since the day she beat you up. All you need to do is to sit down and communicate."

"Ah, it's nice to be so young and look at things simplistically."

Noel swatted his head.

"Ow."

"You're seriously pissing me off."

"And your voice is pretty loud, you know. I think she heard everything you said."

The younger man shook his head in exasperation and leaned in to whisper, "Seriously, just drop everything and talk it out."

"Why all this interest in my nonexistent love life? Do you ever think that maybe it's not meant to be? That there's a reason why nothing's happening? Look at it this way—hypothetically speaking, mind you—maybe something already has happened, but we're like two magnets that have strong magnetic properties, and despite the attractive force pulling us together, we just can't connect. I don't believe in kismet, but I'm starting to think that all these starts and fumbles, all these pulls and pushes is the universe's way of saying 'Let it go. Give up. The future, my future, isn't here.' I was fourteen, a kid who didn't really know anything, and now that I'm older, I shouldn't idealize something that in the end meant absolutely nothing."

"Is that how you feel now?"

"I'm kind of wishing I don't feel anything, actually. You-know-who gave me a call again."

Noel pursed his lips as he shook his head. "Like always?"

"Yeah. And this time I answered. I'll be meeting her later, after she's done with what she's here for."

"About that..."

Hope looked at him, sensing the hint of guilt in his voice. "What?"

"Mom said that her doing all this here at this mall was very last minute."

At his brother's continued silence, Noel went on, "Our mom and her mom still talk, you know, and well, normally, something like this is planned way in advance and you'll see it advertised throughout Cocoon. That's why it's only Palumpolum that knows about her appearing here, because when mom told her mom that you'll be here—"

"I get it."

"Sorry, bro."

"No. I think it's time to move on, anyway. Finally air everything out. Doesn't really matter where it's gonna happen. We both need to let go."

Noel breathed out a laugh. "Maybe she'll write another song about it."

Hope bopped him on the head.

"Whatcha guys doing over here?" asked Vanille as she walked over to them. "M&M Bridals has opened. Let's go." She grabbed both their arms and began to pull them away.

"Actually, we'll be over here," replied Hope, pointing to the Ars Amatoria Love Shop and trying to pry himself from her grip. "You guys go on and do your wedding stuff."

"Oooh," said Vanille as she peered at the window, interest brightening her eyes as she sighed. "Well, that's a trip for later. You boys are coming with us. No questions."

"But—"

"Nu-uh." She silenced him with a glare. "We need both of your inputs on Serah's dress."

"Why?"

"Well, to see if guys would find it as gorgeous as we would, of course."

"I don't really know anything about dresses," said Noel.

"Well, now's a good time to learn. We can go to the sex shop and try out the toys after we're done."

Resignedly, both Hope and Noel allowed Vanille to drag them to the bridal store.

Thanks for reading :)
May/2012