Author's Chapter Notes:

Thank you everyone!!! We really appreciate you all being patient with us while we work on our story!!! We are going to try to get an update up on every Monday. We also want to thank you for getting us 200+ reviews!!!!

Hope you enjoy this chapter, this is done in BPOV by JMCullen!!!

*We do have a Switched thread up in the forums if anyone is interested in joining us over there. It's listed under alternate universe.*

Previously….

I turned to Bella, noticing she was wearing the same baffled expression I wore. "What the hell is this shit, Bella? Porn radio?"

I want to fuck you like an animal
I want to feel you from the inside
I want to fuck you like an animal
my whole existence is flawed
you get me closer to god

"Apparently, the radio gods are sexually frustrated too, Edward." she laughed.

"Apparently," I agreed.

It was obvious our sexual explorations were coming to a halt. I had no intention of becoming too physical, there was no way we were smelling sex and candy anytime soon, and I certainly wasn't fucking her like an animal. It was better this way, for now. Besides, I couldn't fathom the thought of what could happen had we taken it further. We weren't in each other's bodies and I was not going to experience sex for the first time being penetrated by my own penis. I'd need counseling for years after that. I'm sure Bella felt much the same in the sense of violating her vaginal crevice. However, I had every intention once we were switched back, to take things further than kisses.

I changed the channel once more before we ended the night and the perfect song came on, Sexual Healing.

Ooh, now let's get down tonight
Baby I'm hot just like an oven
I need some lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
It's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I want Sexual Healing
Sexual Healing, oh baby

I looked over at Bella and covered my mouth and giggled. "This is perfect for us!!"

Once again, our 'Sexual Healing' will be postponed until we switch.

BPOV

I didn't know they played that kind of shit on the radio. It certainly wasn't my idea of 'let's make out in each other's bodies because we are too sexually frustrated to realize we are actually fondling ourselves' kind of music. Did they even have music for that? I had lots of time to sit and mull over mundane shit like that because I couldn't sleep anymore. It really sucked ass too. I was becoming increasingly agitated as the days went by and found myself acting more and more out of character because of it. Then I'd try to contemplate how I could possibly be in character when someone thought it would be fucking hilarious to turn me into a walking vampiric hermaphrodite.

I was laying there minding my own business when Edward flung my body's hand up against his body's stomach, the tip of my body's fingers grazed his penis. So, of course, his internal nympho alarm went off. I don't know about the rest of the male population, but I was seriously getting tired of walking around with an erection 24/7. I'd always heard the term blue balls used loosely, but never understood it's actual meaning. Let me just say that I'm now very fucking acquainted with blue balls. I had a permanent fucking address there. I mean seriously, how many girls do you know that can say they were so sexually frustrated their nuts hurt and they looked like they were on a permanent fix of Viagra due to their 24/7 hard-on because of their boyfriend's vagina. That's not even the best part. What if said vagina actually belonged to the girl. Top that shit Ripley's Believe It Or Not.

I was trying my best to remove the hand without waking Edward up, but apparently in his subconscious he was really toying with me because he flipped my body over to it's side, facing the opposite direction of me, and literally thrust my ass out and rubbed against his penis. Anyone that says an already erect penis can't get harder than it initially was needs to be beat over the head profusely with a blunt fucking object because it is very probable.

Edward's penis was now happily poking right into my body's ass. I could hear "Mwhahahaha!" coming from his pants and realized poor Willy had gone and lost his penis mind.

The urge to pelvic thrust against my own ass was becoming increasingly hard to control. I had more than proven on many occasion in Edward's body that I was not the epitome of sexual self restraint. I had nearly snapped when I threw myself from the bed and knocked over my lamp with Edward's penis.

The lamp shade that had once covered the lamp was now hanging directly from the protruding part of Edward's body. 'Great, now I'm a fucking vampire lamp'. Of course, he would awake just in time to see. "Bella, is there a reason why you have a lamp shade hanging from my groin? Never mind, I'm not sure I want the answer to that question,"

Oh, he was going to get an answer. "Edward, if I have to lay here one more night with an erection because you're shoving my body's ass into your penis, I'm going to decapitate someone. We need to locate the card that Lady Zafrina gave us and find her. I want back in my own body before I completely lose it and end up defiling myself. They don't have therapy that will cure that shit,"

He started laughing. This was no laughing matter. The continuous flow of venom to his penis ended up in a lot of ruined boxer briefs and he thought this was comedic.

"What's so funny, Edward?" I asked.

"Nothing, love. It's just that your self control has always been an issue. I don't know why you expected it to be any different in my body," he answered.

Oh, so that's how it is. He acted like this shit was easy for me. Nothing about this situation was fucking normal and I was beyond peeved off now. Nice Edward, rub it in my face that I'm not as great at self-restraining as perfect you. Well, if that's how he wanted it to be. I'll show him self control.

Like clockwork, Edward's cell phone rang at my side. I smiled at him wickedly as I answered it, "Hello, Alice. Yes, I most certainly do. I'd love to have him help. Thank you, I'll see you then,"

"What was that about?" Edward asked.

Hell if I was going to tell him anything. He asked for this. "Edward, I've got a question for you,"

He looked at me curiously, "Alright."

"Would you say that you're in touch with your feminine side? What I mean to say is, would you say that you can understand and sympathize with a woman's feelings and if you were in your own body would you lose that understanding?" I asked sweetly.

He furrowed my brow as he thought on my questions. "Yes, I suppose that I could, especially now. I mean I am in a woman's body after all. I've experienced first hand some of the natural things a woman goes through. So yeah, I'd say that I'm in touch with my feminine side and yes, even in my own body I would feel the same."

"That's all I needed to know," This was gonna be good. He had no damn idea what he just fell for. Some lessons had to be learned the hard way, I suppose and boy was he going to learn it the fucking hard way. In touch with your feminine side heh, Edward. Let's see how in touch you are.

I spoke sweetly, "Edward, I have to take care of something. I'll be back, but while I'm gone, I need you to look for that card from Lady Zafrina. Charlie should be up soon. I'll be back once he leaves."

Before he could respond, I was out the window and running full-bore toward the Cullen home. After swallowing twenty mosquitoes and a fly later, I arrived with a giddy Alice waiting on the porch. "I don't normally condone torture, Bella, but this was just too good to pass up."

"Do your worst, Alice," I told her as I followed her into the house. Emmett was on stand-by at the bathroom with the items I required: Pink zebra striped thong; check, matching bra; check, scarlet red belly shirt; check, barely concealing the ass black mini-skirt; check, and three inch stiletto heels; mother fucking check.

I grabbed the above mentioned list and headed into the bathroom. I quickly changed into all the clothing and hollered to Alice that I was ready for the Edwina make-over.

She curled Edward's hair, making sure the curls framed his face and threw in a couple red hair barrettes. She then started on the make-up. This was the process that took the longest. When she finally finished, Edward's face felt heavier. I was almost terrified to see what she had done. When I looked in the mirror, I nearly fell on my ass. I looked like a damn lot lizard applying for a position as Bozo the Clown's assistant.

The lipstick was bright red, the blush was caked on, and the eye-liner was so dark and heavy that it appeared Edward had two black eyes. Truthfully, If I smiled this shit would just crack the hell off. Now you pair that with the zebra striped bra and thong, the belly shirt and mini-skirt, and then the heels, and you have the new winner of the Miss Skanktastic Pageant.

Alice took one look at me and completely lost her shit. She was laughing so hard that if tears were possible, the bathroom would be knee high in them. I was definitely ready. Alright Mr. Femininity and the perfection of self-restraint, say hello to your counterpart, Edwina.

Emmett was waiting outside of the bathroom when I came out. "Bella, I know I've teased you since you and Edward switched bodies, but it was all harmless fun. However, the brainstorm it took to come up with this idea was epically fucking fantastic. Remind me once you've changed to never get on your bad side."

I leaned in and whispered in his ear, "I still owe you one, Emmett, but I'll let it slide…for now."

I turned to Alice, "If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it big. I know he'll get me back if and when we end up back in our own bodies, but in the mean time, I'm just going to enjoy my victory. He'll be ready for breakfast, so how about we bring him breakfast, Alice?" I smiled wryly at her and she instantly saw my decision.

"Oh. My. God." she gasped, "Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley will be at the donut shop at the precise time we are and let's just say you're going to make it eventful."

****~~~~****

We reached the donut shop in record time. I adjusted Edward's manly parts in the thong and climbed out of the passenger seat just as Alice was making her way out of the driver seat. The strip was rubbing up my ass with every step, but the discomfort was worth the embarrassment Edward was going to feel in this moment.

I felt guilty for stooping so low to get him back, but I was tired of feeling as if I were a child around him. I wasn't as breakable and dependant as he thought me to be, and I was his equal, not his child. I didn't think it was too much to ask for and honestly, because of the reason behind me doing this, I think that was the only reason Alice agreed to it. She may not have understood the lengths I went to, but she understood the motivation behind them.

We started toward the door of the donut shop and I was wiggling Edward's hips with every step. I could see Mike and Tyler already inside ordering. I tried to conceal my face until the proper moment, so I looked the opposite direction of them.

It was like they instinctively knew that a woman was near. Mike turned and I could feel his eyes on Edward's body. He then said to Alice, "Who's the new girl, Alice? She seems shy. You don't have to be shy. We don't bite. I'm Mike, by the way. This is Tyler."

That was my queue to turn around. Mike and Tyler's mouths dropped open and they looked damn near disgusted, "What the hell, Cullen? It's not Halloween."

I pursed my lips and answered him in the most seductive feminine voice I could, "It's Edwina to you." Suddenly, the radio in the shop started playing 'Pop, Lock, and Drop It'. Game time, I thought. I threw one of Edward's hands in the air and yelled loudly, "That's my song!" I immediately stepped right in front of Mike and Tyler, mere inches from their bodies, and began pop, lock, and dropping it in Edward's hookerized body, all the while winking at them.

I turned around so that now Edward's back was facing them and I was shaking his ass like he did this everyday on a stripper pole. His ass was thrust out roughly so that each flick of his hips would bring the skirt up and show the zebra print thong and his white ass cheeks. Mike and Tyler's eyes were bugging right the hell out of their heads. They looked damn near terrified and repulsed, but just couldn't look away. It was priceless.

I kept my position like that, eyes were on me from all over the donut shop. It was when the song ended that I straightened my body and sauntered past the guys to order a couple donuts. I decided in that moment that I was going to pull a Rob Schneider from Hot Chick. I ordered three crème filled and one jelly donut; the jelly was meant for what I was about to do.

After I paid for the donuts, I pulled the jelly one from the bag and bit into it as I turned around toward Mike and Tyler. I started licking some of the jelly seductively with Edward's tongue then dipped his finger in the donut to scoop a bit of the jelly onto it. I placed his finger in his mouth and slowly sucked the jelly off and then said, "You want some of my jelly?"

Their faces were a bit green and they both shook their heads erratically before they stormed out the door. I looked over toward Alice who just happened to be on the ground laughing her ass off. She finally collected her bearings and motioned for us to leave, "Come on, Edwina. Let's get these donuts to where they need to go." When we reached the car she asked, "When the hell did you get so brave, Bella?"

I responded, "I don't know. I guess it started during the switch. Being in Edward's body makes me feel more confident. Is that strange?"

"Not at all and I'm glad." she said.

When we arrived back at my house, Charlie was already gone….thankfully. Edward dressed this way would have been one hell of a thing to explain to my dad.

We walked in through the door just as Edward was coming down the stairs. The moment his eyes locked on his body and he seen what had been done to it, he started to stumbled down the steps. I had to catch him and steady him on my body's feet. "Bella! What the hell? What did you do to me? I look like I'm leading a
'Rocky Horror Picture Show' revival!"

I let out a small laugh, "Well, Edward. Call this a form of revenge for putting it so bluntly that I'm unable to control myself. So, in true Bella fashion, I was unable to control myself and this is the ending product. You shouldn't be so upset though, you said you were in touch with your feminine side. I only magnified how in touch you were."

I could see the anger behind my eyes as he spoke, "That is not in the least bit funny. What if people saw me dressed that way?"

Oh, he was in for a real treat. "Too late for that, Edwina. Apparently, your body likes to pop, lock, and drop it for Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley at the donut shop."

My body's eyes widened in horror at the realization that others had seen him this way. "WHAT?!? You went into public dressed that way in my body? Bella, how could you? I think that's a bit overboard, don't you think?"

Alice interjected, "Edward, I don't normally endorse revenge like this. You know that, but she is right. You had ninety years to be as controlled as you are and don't get me started on the few mistakes you've made. She's only had nearly a week. Considering, I think she's doing a wonderful job. There are no dead bodies yet, including the one you happen to be in. You aren't giving her the credit you should and that hurts her. Frankly, I'm upset with you by it."

He knew what Alice spoke was correct. "You're right, Alice. Bella, I'm sorry, love. I should have been more supportive. I know how difficult this is for you and instead of weighing the positive, I kept focusing on the mistakes you were making. You really are doing an amazing job at restraining yourself in all the ways that matter. You've yet to hurt anyone and I'm proud of you."

I hugged and kissed him, "Thank you, Edward,"

He smiled at me, "You're welcome, now could you change my body out of that ridiculous clothing?"

I turned to Alice who had a change of clothing ready for me. I ran up the stairs to the bathroom and within seconds was clear of the make-up, clothing, and hair products and into an outfit that belonged to Edward. I came back down the stairs to find him and Alice in the kitchen. He was already eating the donuts we brought him.

"Edward, did you find that card for Lady Zafrina?" I asked.

"I did find it. I tried to contact the number, but there was no answer so I figured we could take a drive by there." he said.

"Hurry up and get ready, Edward. Alice can ride along with us. The sooner we get this corrected, the better." As interesting as my life had become since I'd been in Edward's body, I was starting to really feel homesick for my own.

He changed as quickly as my body would allow into a pair of faded blue jeans and the light blue shirt he loved on me. He slipped on a pair of shoes and the three of us headed out the door.

Alice decided she wanted to drive, so we piled in her car and sped off. Edward and I looked over the address listed on the card and Alice quickly MapQuest the address and followed the instructions. When we reached our destination, we all seemed a bit shocked. It was not what we expected Lady Zafrina's home to look like in the least. Honestly, this place looked like an old abandoned warehouse.

Alice's eyes glazed over, indicating she was having a vision. When the vision stopped, she had a troubled look on her face. "This isn't where Lady Zafrina lives. As a matter-of-fact, no one lives here. I wish I could tell you more, but it was in broken pieces."

Apparently, our Lady Zafrina didn't want to be found which meant nothing good for Edward and I.

Chapter End Notes:

I don't know about you, but a hookerized looking Edward doing the pop, lock, and drop it for Mike and Tyler has me cracking up. Lol.

They couldn't find Lady Zafrina this time, but that doesn't mean they won't. Up next is my talented writing partner blue2185 with EPOV.

Leave us reviews and let us know what you think. They give us warm fuzzies inside.