Thanks for beta'ing, K.K. Fush & prereading, TheMortician'sDaughter!
Esme POV:
A week. It had taken me an entire week to recover from all his blows, but I still looked horrible. Charles didn't let me go to the hospital until today. He'd pushed me down the stairs so much that it felt like both my legs were broken. I was shocked that they weren't. Since I held a pack of ice up to my eyes and didn't limp, I was free to go back and teach. He was waiting for me in the hospital. I tried to avoid his cold stare as he led me back down the hallway and instead just ran to catch up with him. The drive to school was quiet and terrifying. Thankfully, it was time for him to return to his office and me to my classroom.
On Friday, I was a bundle of nerves. During the moments I was alone and waiting for my students, I thought of Carlisle almost touching my lips with his. I hated whoever stopped us. Now he was working with other women and probably forgetting about me. I wish we really had kissed in the rain because that would have been so much more romantic than the boring old supply closet, but oh well. Carlisle was going to come to my school to...kiss me? Was I even a good kisser? It was a nice thing that I had time to practice on my hand before class started. I had to rush to write my name and the date on the board as the children were coming in way too fast for my liking.
"Ms. Platt, your last name's not Cullen, and today's the twentieth of January, not the second of January!" Alice giggled. I looked up and quickly saw my stupid mistakes.
"Oh, thank you, I'm sorry, I'll change them." I wiped my sweaty palms on my skirt, erased what I had written, and wrote my name and the date correctly this time. "How are you, sweetheart?"
"I'm great! How are you?"
"I would say I'm fine, but honestly..." I sighed shakily.
"You're not?" she guessed. "But you're back!"
"Well yeah, but Carlisle's coming to visit me during my lunch break in the teachers lounge...it's the first time he's done that. You could say I'm a little panicky. It's kinda like...our first date. That's when a man and a woman go out and kiss and...stuff."
"Oooh, go Esme!" Alice cheered, and I blushed.
"It's Ms. Platt to you when you're in class. Go sit down," I chuckled as the bell rang. "Good morning students, it's so good to see you all. I had a mini accident, but it's great to be back on track. Let's just, um..." I was interrupted when there was a knock at the door. "Excuse me."
The children turned their heads to face me while I opened the door. It was Carlisle, hiding something behind his back. I looked over my shoulder, shushed the giggling first graders, and shut the door behind me.
"Hey, I tried to be here before you started class, but I'm afraid I might be too late."
"No, i-it's fine," I stuttered. "I haven't even begun the first lesson yet. I couldn't think straight. You know, of what to do...first."
"Why is that?" he asked and took my hand.
Because you're so fucking handsome and I haven't seen you in twenty hours! my mind shrieked. "Many things were in my head..." I trailed off when he raised my hand to his lips. He knew what he was doing! Stupid doctor with the power to seduce a woman to the point of being weak in the knees! I had to catch my breath as he released my hand.
"Esme, you look lovely this morning. I couldn't wait to see you, so I showed up-" he checked his watch "-four hours early. I was thinking about you as I drove Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper to school. And I got a little something for you. Freshly picked from el jardin de Lily." He placed a bouquet of flowers, red roses and white daisies to be specific, in my hands. Even though I couldn't smell them, he bought me flowers! He thought I was special enough to get flowers! I smiled from ear to ear and leaned against the wall with a sigh.
"Thank you, Carlisle. They're so beautiful," I gushed. "I'll put these in my classroom so it can smell nice for the children."
"My pleasure. You could also take them to Renee so she can decorate her teen lounge with it when you go over there," he advised me.
"Yeah, that's a great idea! I should probably get back to teaching...see you later?"
"Lunchtime, baby, lunchtime." He wrapped me in a hug and I think I felt him kiss the top of my head. When he was gone, I let out a squeak that should only be legal for twelve year olds.
"Okay, guys, I'm sorry, that was just...a friend. He gave me flowers so we could brighten up this room and I'll take some home with me as well!" I announced as I filled a vase with water and put the flowers inside.
When class was finished, I carried the flowers to the teacher's lounge and made sure Charles was nowhere near me. When I was safely inside, Renee locked the door behind me.
"He's waiting for you in the closet. We girls will leave you two all alone." She gave me a suggestive wink.
"He's here already? Do I look okay?" I asked worriedly. "Oh, where's the mirror?"
"Don't be nervous, you look fine, darling." Elizabeth, the second grade teacher assured me.
"Sure I don't need makeup?" I ran my tongue over the cut on my lip. "My cover-up might not be good enough. Oh, and how's my hair? How do you kiss with a split lip?"
"You're pretty enough," said Sue, the woman who taught the fourth grade.
"Yeah, now, go in there," Renee ordered me with a laugh.
"Wish me luck, girls." I handed the vase to her and she grinned.
"Esme sandwich!" Carmen and Siobhan, both fifth grade teachers, called out. I walked away from the circle of women while they shouted, "Good luck!"
"Thank you!" I said back. I turned the door handle, opened the door, and there he was. He smoothed his fingers through his hair and stood up.
"Hey there, beautiful. We're all alone, at last," he sighed. I sank into his open arms and shivered with excitement when one of his hands went to my lower back and his other one stroked my hair. We rocked from side to side and I enjoyed the gentle rhythm."How are you?"
"I'm...good," I mumbled shyly as he ran his finger along the underside of my jaw and tilted my face up to meet his. "This handsome doctor...made my day..." I was so horrible at being coy.
"Do I know him?" he asked with a smirk. I giggled and poked at his chest.
"You might."
"May I kiss you?" he asked abruptly and surprised me.
"Why do you want me if I was such an evil lunatic when I was younger and now, I'm a pathetic crybaby?" My own words made tears burn behind my eyes. I was that good at making myself cry to the point of full-out sobbing. "I'm just so broken...I feel scared when I'm by myself...he's ruined me so badly, I just...can't survive without you...I used to be only dependent on Renee, but now you're stuck with me and my horrible background...it's still violent to this day...I'm so sorry, Carlisle...I apologize greatly for putting you through this. You have to see my beat up face every single goddamn day..."
He shushed me by putting his index finger on my lips. "Hey, hey, don't be sorry...it is not your fault, do you hear me? I chose to be in your life. It was my decision to protect you and worship the ground you walked on. Nobody forced me to do it. And it's okay to be scared."
"I'm so afraid..." I said softly.
Carlisle took my face in his and stroked my wet cheeks, even though droplets of water kept falling out of my eyes no matter what he did. He stared into my eyes as he said, "Esme, even though your body is bruised, your heart is strong enough to let me in. Right?"
I nodded; my lips were so close to his face. "You deserve that. But you need someone else who doesn't have so much pain inside of her."
He looked from my eyes to my lips and brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. "I can't picture myself with anyone else. I think I'm falling madly in love with you. No, to be honest, I love you deeply from the bottom of my heart. You're the one."
My heart lifted, but I was unsure. "Me?"
Carlisle nodded. "Yes, you."
"I-I don't know..." Could I trust him?
He leaned closer to me and our lips were almost connecting. My heart was thumping wildly in my chest. "Never doubt the power of love...this is real. I can feel it, and I know you can too...we can be romantic together. Sweetheart, we're alone now. Nobody can interrupt us this time," were his last words as I closed my eyes and our lips joined.
As he was kissing me, the most amazing feeling spread throughout my body and I let out a low hum. We pulled apart after thirty seconds and gasped for air. Not a minute later, he had me pressed up against the wall and our bodies were molded together. His tongue lapped all over my mouth and his lips sucked at all the right places, moving from my lips and my tongue down my jaw and at my neck. He stopped suddenly and went on to my closed eyelids after taking my glasses off momentarily, and my cheeks. I was sure my whole face was flushed and I let out a loud moan as his mouth took mine again. My legs were shaky, so it was a good thing I was trapped between him and the wall. He groaned as he hoisted me up and kissed my chin. I knotted my fingers in his hair and kissed him all over as hard as I could. I liked this feeling. No, I loved this feeling. It was perfect and it was more real than I had ever imagined.
"Thank-thank you," I breathed out dizzily.
"You're so pretty when you swoon, and your blush is adorable, do you know that?" he asked and made me blush again. He put my glasses back on my face. "Can you still see okay?"
"M-hm," was all I could say.
"Damn it, Esme, you're amazing...all of you." He ran his strong hands down my shoulders, arms, sides, all the way down my body to my hips and then rubbed all over my back. "I..." he pecked my forehead, "...love..." he pecked my nose, "...you," he finished while we made out. "So much," he panted through the steamy kiss.
I was breathless by this point and my insides were screaming fire. It was a good kind of fire, though, the one that had me going, "Oh, god...I feel like I'm gonna melt!"
"It's a good thing I'm holding you, then, huh?" he asked. I nodded weakly.
I reached up and stroked his faint beard while he caressed my hair. "Yeah...I'll miss you tonight. Renee's inviting all the girls over, no guys allowed," I said sadly.
"Oh, baby, I'll miss you more. But I promise to call you around eleven or midnight."
I smiled. "What are you gonna do while I'm with the girls?"
"I'm gonna take Emmett, Jasper, and Peter out to the ball game and then we're gonna have a slumber party at my house. Will's joining us, since Lily's gonna be with you, Renee, Alice, Rosalie, Charlotte, and Vera." We exchanged phone numbers so we could contact each other even without cell phones.
"I can't wait for my girls' night and you calling me later."
"Me neither. Have a great time!" Carlisle said as the bell rang. He gave me another breathtaking kiss that left me dizzy and wanting more after he walked out. I was still until he was completely gone. My steps were wobbly and I was all smiles. I had no idea how I made it back to class, but I did. I even survived Charles.
"Hey, watch where you're going, four-eyes!" he shouted as I almost bumped into the wall.
"The better to see your dick with so I can give you a hell of a good blow job," I muttered to shut him up as he grinned at me creepily.
When I got to Renee's house, I took a bunch of flower petals from the bouquet Carlisle gave me, threw them up in the air, squealed, and spun around as they scattered in my hair, on my clothes, and all over the floor. Everyone, including myself, laughed at my little show. When I calmed down, Renee braided my hair while the little girls, Alice, Rosalie, Vera, and Charlotte played with Barbies and Powerpuff Girls and Lily read them a story. Renee and I listened in the background. It seemed like Alice and Rosalie were more attentive to the fairytale rather than playing with the dolls.
"...And they all lived a happily ever after," Lily finished and closed the Snow White book.
"Yay!" Rosalie cheered while Alice clapped her hands.
I leaned against Renee after she finished my French braid and held my knees close to my chest. "I've always believed in magic, you know. I feel like Carlisle came in on his white horse and rescued me from the evil dragon. Too bad he hasn't slain it yet."
"Like he's your Prince Charming?" Renee asked with a smile.
"Well, he is...it seems like he loves saving me. He treats me like a princess."
"That's because you are, Esme," Alice cut in with a giggle. She scooted close to me while Rosalie snuggled with Lily at the other end of the bed.
"I'm like a slave girl, though." I looked down and bit my lip.
"So? Cinderella was a slave too. But she had her Fairy Godmother help her go to the ball so she could kiss her Prince Charming," Rosalie responded.
"Oh, who's the fairy godmother in our story, me?" Renee asked, like she didn't know already. Everyone stared at her like she was from Mars. "Aw man, that woman's like a grandma!" I snickered.
"She doesn't have to be," Lily assured her. "That was just in the animated version. In the non-animated versions, she's young, like you."
"But I don't look like Cinderella. Lily, you do. And Carlisle has almost brown hair, but it's light blonde...my favorite princess was Snow White, to be honest," I confessed.
"Rosalie and I love Cinderella, don't we, sweetheart?" Lily asked and stroked her little girl's hair lovingly. Rosalie nodded with a smile.
"I loved Briar Rose. It was so sweet when the guy kissed her and she woke up," Alice put in.
"Belle was great...but then I switched over to Snow White. High five, girl," Renee said and held up her hand so we could slap palms.
"Well, let's just say we have a mixed up princess story!" I exclaimed with a laugh.
"So, he kissed you, Esme?" Renee asked me softly as Rosalie and Alice fell asleep just slightly in our laps. "Have you fallen for him yet?"
"What was it like?" Lily asked and leaned in closer to me.
I nodded and blushed. "It was wonderful. But I just don't know my feelings. All that I'm positive of is that I loved it. He's been a great friend and he's really handsome...but there's gotta be someone better than me out there. True love waits, and we haven't waited long to fall in love. I only met the man five months ago...do people get into romantic relationships that quickly?"
"Sometimes, they do. But you guys are best friends, he really likes you, Esme," Renee answered. "Obviously, he thinks a lot of you since he kissed you passionately."
"How do you know it was passionate? I don't know what that means, really. It wasn't rough, he was extremely gentle, actually." I touched my lips and closed my eyes while I replayed it in my head over and over again. I was breathless and swooning the entire time. That man really knew how to kiss a woman enough to make her want to faint. "And I felt this weird but pleasurable sensation down there like I had to go to the bathroom...but I don't know why I got wet...I didn't wet my pants or anything...and it felt so good too...what was it?" I whispered.
"That kiss got you sexually excited...it's what happens to all women when they get kissed or touched sexually by someone they like!" Renee explained, making me blush.
Lily fanned herself. "Whoo! Definitely passionate," she said with a smirk and Renee patted her heart and sighed.
"But I'm not even ready to have sex with him, so why did my body react that way?"
"When a woman gets touched or kissed with passion, she gets wet down there. It means hot and heavy, Esme. He's intensely in love with you. I've seen the way he looks at you and takes care of you. Alice has even had dreams of you guys marrying in the future. Oops, wasn't supposed to say that!" she said and clapped her hand over her mouth.
I raised my eyebrow. "Well, ladies, if you say so..."
Renee's phone went off just then and she checked it. "Well, it's the devil himself." She waved it at me and I grabbed it from her excitedly.
"Hello?" I asked, trying not to look at the kissy faces the girls were giving me.
"Hi, baby, how's my favorite girl tonight?"
"I'm good. We were just talking about you." I couldn't keep the giggle out of my voice when he called me 'baby'.
"What did I do now?" he asked innocently.
"Nothing wrong. Unless treating me special and stealing my heart is a crime."
"Well, I haven't been in jail yet, so I must be doing okay. And hey, you stole my heart as well, so we're even!"
I laughed when he teased me. "Yeah...we girls are having fun! How are you and the boys?"
"If you think pizza, nachos, and soda tastes good, we're doing just fine."
I wrinkled my nose. "I don't like soda. But the rest is delicious!"
"There's just one problem, though. I love my son and his friend, but can you guess what my only problem is?"
"I'm sorry, I'm really bad at that."
"I miss you, honey."
My heart fluttered like thousands of butterflies all over my belly. "I-I miss you too."
"And you know what else?"
"Hm?"
"I love you."
"Thanks. You too."
I wasn't used to telling someone I loved them in a romantic way. I wasn't sure how he would take it if I ever said it.
"I wish I could hold you right now while gazing into your pretty eyes."
I took a deep breath while my heart skipped a few beats. "Yeah, I'd like that."
Being in his warm embrace brought me comfort, but he wasn't here. I felt like crying. My voice was already shaky. "Carlisle, why didn't you sleep over tonight? Aren't we...a couple?"
"You wanted girl time, right?"
I nodded. "Yeah...they wanted to know why I looked so giddy all day."
"If you want me to come over, I can."
"No, it's fine...have fun with your boys." I shouldn't have said anything.
"You sure, princess?"
"Mm-hm. Sorry for being such a baby earlier." I swallowed my tears and forced the lump in my throat to go away.
"It's okay. You're used to me being there and tonight, I couldn't be. I can't be with you overnight anymore...until you're comfortable with us sleeping together."
"I am!" I protested with a whimper.
"Believe me, I want to...but when I hold you and we're laying side by side, my hands roam and I can't help it. I don't ever want to make you do anything you don't want to do, but you just tempt me too much...and then it's my dick talking. I'm far gone."
"I...understand. You have...sexual urges?" I asked with a shudder. That wasn't something I wanted to think about at this moment.
"I'm sorry, my love. Truly, I am."
"I know."
"See you tomorrow."
"Night."
"I love you so much, baby."
With those words in my head, I hummed, closed the phone and fell fast asleep. I pulled Alice into my arms and dreamed of the three of us being a family.
My dreams turned to nightmares. The wonderful man who had become my boyfriend was no longer smiling down at me with love...now, I could see hatred in his eyes. He gritted his teeth and growled at me, which caused me to whimper.
"Carlisle, what's wrong?" I asked in a very small voice.
"Get the fuck out of here, you good-for-nothing bitch!" he snarled.
I gulped. "But I thought we-"
"There is no 'we', you ugly scaredy-cat! You can't be my whore, you can't be my girl! I don't date women who hate to fuck! You understand me?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not ready for sex yet!" I stammered through my tears.
"That's stupid!" He grabbed me by the hair and raised his fist. I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow-and there it was. I had just been struck violently across the face. I hissed in pain and let my tears leak out of my shut eyes. Why was he being such a bastard?
The scene before me faded into darkness and then into a brightly-lit hospital room. Carlisle looked slightly kinder than the last image I saw of him. He walked over to a young girl, possibly sixteen or so, and put his hand on her bulging stomach. She moaned and I hoped it was in pain, and not pleasure.
"Bella...you don't know the father?"
"Nope, and I don't care." She smirked and widened her legs. Carlisle looked down for a split second with a bewildered expression on his face.
"You're a slut! You're just a teenage girl with a crush on a slightly older man!"
The bitch laughed. She actually laughed. "Oh, come on, it's not like anyone's gonna notice...besides, I'm just going in for my checkup cuz I'm pregnant! It's a perfectly innocent thing to do. Hey, you like me like thiiiiisssss?" she asked him seductively and unzipped her sweatshirt to reveal a pair of fresh, creamy breasts with perfect pink nipples.
He licked his lips and leaned down...I couldn't watch his lustful reaction. Jealousy and rage took over me in an instant.
"Get away from my man!" I yelled. I kicked off my covers and ran to the kitchen, sobbing heartbrokenly.
Before I knew it, I was digging a blade deeply down my wrist and toward my elbow. I hadn't cut in eleven years, but damn, it felt good. So good. I forgot how weak it made me feel. My arm throbbed, but I enjoyed the nice, slow burn of it. It got rid of the stinging pain on my face from when he hit me in my dream.
Suddenly, I dropped it on the floor and sank down with a thump. My head was pounding along with my cracked heart, so I curled into a ball, with my arms around my knees, crushing them to my chest. Maybe it would stop the pain. I knew he would betray me. He did it in my nightmares, so he might as well have done it in real life, too. No wonder he didn't want to sleep here anymore. He knew I was a wimp when it came to sex, I made him horny, and therefore, he thought it was useless to come here overnight. Two adults in bed together-what do they do? They fuck.
Renee ran to my side-I had no idea how she was even there. She must have heard my crying. "Esme, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked soothingly.
"He doesn't want me...he's bored of staying overnight with me all the time." The lump in my throat was getting way too big for me to handle, and I could barely speak.
"You know that's not true. Why don't you call him? You need his comfort."
"Why doesn't he call me? He's only called me one time! I always have to ask him to come to the teacher's lounge! I'm always the one running to his damn hospital on his lunch break! He's never invited me to his house! Why the hell not? I'm not gonna stand there and go crying to him! He needs to make an effort to be in contact with me twenty-four seven! All he wants me for is sex! He stays away from me like I'm the fucking plague because he knows I can't give him sex!" I screamed in my hands until it hurt to breathe.
"It's only the first night you've spent away from each other. Being in a hidden relationship is hard, and he can't call you when he's afraid you're with Charles. It would make sense if he called here every Friday night when you're here with me and I bet he will do that. He doesn't want you to be caught sneaking to his house. And it's also the first time you guys have gone to each other's workplaces. I'm pretty sure a pattern will form over the months. Esme, don't give up on him. I know he's a good guy. If he wasn't, would he check up on you?"
"No," I mumbled and wiped away some of my tears that were staining my cheeks. "I guess I'll wait...I shouldn't hurt myself because of a stupid nightmare."
"What are you talking about?" Her eyes traveled over my bloody wrist and then to the knife. "Shit!"
"I'm sorry!" I blurted out. "It was an accident...I mean, I sorta had to do it...I was upset, and-"
"No, Esme...the damage is done. I'll help you clean this up while you call Carlisle. Tomorrow morning, I'm calling a therapy group so you can attend a meeting. You need help and I need to hide all the sharp objects again." Renee sighed, picked up the knife, and put it someplace where I couldn't reach. She got some first aid bandages and wrapped them around my wrist to my elbow. "You talk to him as long as it takes. Ask him anything you need to know. I don't care if it takes you guys all night to work this out. A new relationship takes time to grow, but you two need to plan the beginning steps. Good luck."
"Thanks, Renee," I breathed out. She threw her arms around me and I hugged her back tightly. "Can I use your house phone?"
"Of course. Try to be quiet when you come back in the teen lounge. I'll be fast asleep."
"Okay. I apologize for making you get up."
"Apology accepted," she mumured as she left the room.
Please check out K.K. Fush's new story White Picket Fence & The Vampire in the Mix by TheMortician'sDaughter!
Thank you to reviewers TeamCullenx, livi harkness, K. K. Fush, nik-edward is my love, that kiwi chick, MrsCarlisleCullen13, Just4Me, TeamCarlisleandEsme8, CarlisleandEsme, and TheMortician'sDaughter! Love you all!