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Chapter Fourteen – The Circle Complete
When I next awoke it was Alistair's face that I saw first. He smiled nervously at me and helped me to sit up.
'Are we still in the fade?' I asked, panicking as I looked around before I realised we were just in a different room to where we had encountered the sloth demon, with Wynne and Sten sleeping on the floor across from where we were. Their peaceful states suggested that they were well again, or at least as well as they could be in a tower filled with demons and abominations.
'No,' Alistair reassured me settling me back against a wall for support, before taking a seat next to me. 'You got us out.'
'We got ourselves out.'
'Nyra about what you saw-'
'It's okay, Alistair,' I smiled at him, but he turned his gaze from me. I reached up and grasped his chin, pulling his face to mine. 'Look at me,' I growled at him. 'Don't feel embarrassed by what I saw in there.'
'How can I not?' He shook his head and gently pulled my fingers from his jaw. 'Nyra, what you saw, I want so badly. I think about it all the time; a home, a wife, children… and I know that I can never have any of that.' His large thumb caressed my knuckles as we sat close together, my hand in his.
'Why not?' I demanded. 'When all this is done, when we're done with our obligations as Wardens to this Blight, why can't we each go and find happiness, love and a quiet family life?'
'In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice. Even if we survive this Blight, Grey Wardens remain vigilant to the cause – we forsake all else-'
'I did not agree to a vow of chastity!' My voice was high as my eyes widened. I clamped my free hand over my mouth as Wynne shifted in her sleep.
'No, I didn't mean that… trust me, the other Wardens were not… chaste… nor discreet.' He blushed again as I sighed heavily in relief. Gorim was waiting for me in Denerim and, once I found him, he was going to take his place at my side again as my Second… and lover? Although we had never been at it like nugs, when we had found a moment to share ourselves I had enjoyed it. And now, well now there was no reason for us not to be open about our relationship anymore, now we really could be together at last.
'Don't scare me like that, Alistair – I thought I was going to have to learn your Chant of Light for a moment then!' He flushed a deeper shade of red, but chuckled lightly; releasing some of the tension he was holding.
'So no time for babies and partners if we're off chasing Darkspawn? Load of rubbish!' I scoffed at the thought as I imagined the Dwarva doing it for centuries. I told him just that. 'If it hasn't escaped your notice, we Dwarva are in the same boat as the Wardens – even more so, as there is no peace for us. There hasn't been a second, third or fourth Blight, just one long one. A Blight is a human word for when their lands are disrupted. We don't even have our lands anymore and yet we still have families and produce children.'
'I know,' he bowed his head as if he carried all the blame of the human race. 'I was raised in Redcliff and sometimes went to Rainsfere, which operates a lot of the trade routes with Orzammar. I saw the dwarven merchants, heard their tales and I used to ask lots of questions that no one could, or would, answer about what happened to your people. And I've always admired your people, how they face that constant adversity and yet still maintain a home, but what I meant was… we can't have children. Grey Wardens, I mean, can't have children.'
'What?'
'It's the Taint. And I might as well tell you some more bad news too. In addition to all the other wonderful things about being a Grey Warden, like nightmares and no children, you don't need to worry about dying from old age. You've got thirty years. Give or take.
'The taint is a death sentence…'
'I know.'
'Ultimately your body won't be able to take it. When the – wait, what?' He looked down at me confused.
'I know, Alistair. Despite Wardens being largely of the human race, we hold a deep respect for them and what they do. We escort them to the Roads, some further than others, depending on where they feel they are to start their journey. We honour them with their names being recorded in our Memories.
'I, personally, have welcomed many Wardens to the Roads in my time within the Armies; from the Anderfels and Orlais, and even from Weisshaupt Fortress. None from Ferelden though, or at least not yet anyway, Duncan probably would've been the first.'
'I didn't realise you knew so much about them already.'
'I don't, just that they get to a point in their lives and they come to Orzammar. Some tell us stories of their adventures that span a few decades, and I've never seen one come to the city that is older than their fifties – give or take a few years. I put things together and make my conclusions, they're usually correct.'
Although not always, I thought looking down at our entwined fingers, and my mind wandered back to the feel of Alistair's arms around me, embracing me tightly as his lips caressed mine. And all this time I thought he was after Leliana.
'I see.' We fell into silence again, watching Wynne and Sten sleep.
I bit my lip as I cast a glance at the blushing Templar and thought of what his real lips would feel like on mine. Would they cause the same warmth to flow through me as in the fade? Would I melt into his arms and beg him to make me his? I shook my head to dismiss the distracting thoughts.
'So I'll never have children?'
Gorim would be disappointed – he had always wanted them so badly, and I had always felt guilty for being unable to give him them at the time. Now it would appear that I'd never be able to be the mother he had always talked about.
'Not with m- another Warden. There's a chance you could have them with someone who is not a Warden, but it's still a small one.'
'Oh.'
'I know, I wasn't happy when I got told either.' He sighed sadly. 'Nyra, I just want to say thank you,' he muttered, and I could tell that he was feeling embarrassed again, his fingers playing with mine. 'I would have stayed there if it wasn't for you. If it was anyone else who had come to get me, I probably would have stayed… it was so real and I- I care about you.' He blushed and brought my hand to his lips, pressing a kiss against it.
A tender flame flickered within me and I had my answer to my earlier question – I'd be consumed by fire, just as I had done in the fade, except now it would be real. I had to ensure that I kept my distance, for the sake of mine and Gorim's future – whatever that could now be – and for Alistair's own tender feelings; I didn't want to see him hurt. Although I was becoming close to Morrigan, Alistair was the only one in the group I would consider my friend. After all we'd been through so far, the brushes with death and constant battles, I didn't want to lose him.
And yet, a guilty knot twisted in my stomach, you have yet to tell him about Gorim, and your plans to bring him along.
'Alistair,' I sighed and bit my lip. 'I meant what I said in the fade – I cannot offer you what you imagined. But I offer you my friendship, and I will help you find peace in life after all this is over. I promise you that.'
Sadness tinged his eyes for a moment before he tried to push it away, failing miserably, as he managed a weak smile for me.
'I'll help you too – you can always count on me.' He squeezed my hand lightly, but neither of us let go.
o-O-o
We pushed on after resting, our no longer weary bodies ready for whatever lay ahead of us. We had no idea how much time had passed since we had taken on this endeavour; there were no windows in the tower for mages to escape, or try to jump from.
It didn't bother me. Being down in the Deep Roads for weeks on end meant that I was accustomed to little or no light, and being of a people that lived underground meant that false light, as the humans called it, was what was natural to me. It didn't seem to bother Wynne either. I surmised that having lived here all her life, she too would be accustomed to it. However, Alistair and Sten had started to get a little edgy as the shadows around them flickered constantly in the candlelight.
'When will we be out of this forsaken tower?' Sten cursed, standing behind me as we pushed through another door and found yet another set of stairs. Even I was growing tired of all the steps.
'We're nearly there, my friend,' Wynne tried to placate the giant, who grunted in response.
As we reached the top of the stairs, Alistair, who was leading, his shield up ready to protect us from any physical attack, screamed in agony, dropping his sword and grabbing his head. He fell to his knees as I ran to him, holding his shoulders to stop him from sinking any further.
'Alistair!' I cried out. 'What is it?'
'Vashedan!' Sten cursed and moved forward, past Alistair, to look at what was causing such a problem for the almost-Templar.
'Alistair, please, what's the matter?' I asked, trying to hold him up without getting hit by the shield, as he grabbed for his head again.
'Magic,' he hissed. 'Serious, serious, dark magic.'
'Uldred,' Wynne bit out. 'I will beat him to death with my staff if I have to. He will not get away with this, so long as I live.'
'There is another,' Sten called out to us from up ahead. 'Another one like the Warden.' Wynne hurried off towards where the Qunari was as I tried to get Alistair to focus on me.
'Can you walk?' I asked him, grasping his jaw to lift his head to meet my gaze. He tried to focus on me, gritting his teeth, before nodding his head. I helped him back to his feet and we stumbled towards where our companions had gone.
'This trick again? I know what you are. It won't work. I resisted her!She's dead, I know this – I have suffered enough already for my shame and weakness… but I cannot refuse her forever, temptress that she may be… I will resist…I will stay strong…'
'Another Templar?' I asked as I approached them. A young auburn-haired man was on his knees, praying to the Maker as Alistair and I approached. His whispered words struck a chord within me. The thought of Templar and Magi falling in love struck my heart as it reminded me of my own secret affair.
'Sten, you have to start referring to me and Alistair by name, Warden is going to get confusing.' The Qunari grunted again, and I understood his discomfort, as rank was important to him – it was even his name here in Ferelden.
'The boy is exhausted,' Wynne murmured as she examined the purple sphere surrounding the young Templar. 'And this cage… I've never seen anything like it. Rest easy young man,' she informed him, coming to stand with us again. 'Help is here.'
'Enough!' the Templar roared. 'Please,' he whispered, almost brokenly. 'If anything in you is human, kill me now and stop this game.'
'I am not human,' I spoke, stepping forward with Alistair clinging to me still, juggling both him and his heavy blade. 'And I will not kill an innocent if-'
'Silence!' he roared again. 'I'll not listen to anything you say. Now be gone!'
We all looked at one another for a moment as the Templar closed his eyes and demanded our exit. I shrugged at Sten who shrugged back. First it was convincing people that things weren't real, now it was convincing someone they were. This was a seriously mixed up place.
I am never coming back here, I vowed to myself. Ever.
Alistair let out a long slow breath as he started to stand up under his own strength again. He shook his head, hissing a little, but the colour started to return to his face as he rubbed his forehead and looked at the other Templar in the 'bubble'.
'Who's he?'
'Crazy-Templar.'
'Great. Anything else this place needs?'
'You're still here? But that always worked before. I close my eyes but you're still here when I open them.' The crazy-Templar looked at us in wonderment.
'Yup,' I bit my lip to stop myself from smirking. 'You're pretty dense aren't you?'
'Nyra!' Wynne admonished me.
'Oh c'mon!' I shot back. 'Why the hell would he imagine me, of the Dwarva, coming to him? Unless it's a Templar thing?' I winked at Alistair who flushed bright red.
'Don't blame me for being cautious,' the man snapped at me. 'The voices… the images… she's so real…'
'Nyra, you know how convincing the fade can be and he's been here for a while, fighting off the demons' lures – what's to say they wouldn't try and trick him with something that he'd be least expecting?'
The old woman had a point, if the fade showed me the last thing I expected to desire, I'd be more ready to believe it than the one thing I really wanted.
'Wait… Cullen?' Alistair asked, stepping towards the young man, stopping any response that I might have made to the old mage.
'Alistair? But you left?' The Templar leaned against his prison, trying to get a better look at his old acquaintance.
'To join the Grey Wardens – this is Cullen,' he explained to me. 'We were trainees in Denerim. Cullen and I were due to take our vows together, before Duncan recruited me, of course.'
'Grey Wardens? Here? Did Greagoir send you? How… how did you get here?' Cullen questioned.
'Kind of,' Alistair told him, looking him up and down. 'How long have you been here?'
'Days, I think.'
'Look,' I interrupted them, hoping that now Alistair had established a rapport with the Templar we might get somewhere. 'I'm here to kill the one who kicked all this off and return the First Enchanter to the Knight-Commander. Where is he?'
'Good – kill Uldred. Kill them all for what they've done.'
'I intend to slaughter all those under Uldred's influence-'
'No!' I jumped in surprise at his response. 'They all have to die.' He eyed Wynne suspiciously. 'Irving and the other mages are in the Harrowing Chamber – you don't know what they've become. He's been doing something to them, I can feel it. Something… horrible…'
'That's what I felt,' Alistair confirmed his fellow Templar's words. 'I felt a darkness; something completely overpowering. I felt that my life was being stripped away and something else was being… forced into me.'
'Can you block that out?' I asked concerned. 'I don't want you harmed. Perhaps you should stay here with your friend-?'
'No!' For a second I thought his arms were going to reach out and grasp me, but they stayed at his side, trembling for a moment. 'I mean, I will not leave you to go through this alone – we're the last two Grey Wardens, we're in this together.' I smiled up at him, and nodded. 'I wasn't prepared before, and I should have been. I will be now.'
'Can you do that thing you did when we met Morrigan? I remember her saying something about a wall of resistance, or something, when we were going to Flemeth's the first time.' He nodded and I turned to the others.
'Okay, point me to the Harrowing Chamber and I'll give that bastard what's coming to him.'
'It's this way.' Wynne moved towards a door across the room.
'You have to end it, now before it's too late.' I heard Cullen call across the room. 'To ensure this horror is ended-'
I tuned out the Templar's voice and looked up at Alistair and Sten.
'Ready?'
Sten nodded. Alistair concentrated for a moment before repeating the gesture. My skin prickled as I stood next to him and looked up surprised. 'You're doing that thing?' He nodded. I moved closer to him for a second and felt my skin prickle again. I swallowed, not liking the fact that I could suddenly feel the power that Alistair was using, especially when I was about to face a room full of blood mages and abominations.
'I am ready whenever you are, Wynne,' I said, as she pushed open the door.
o-O-o
I froze as I watched the man they called Uldred turn a mage into an abomination. The mage's skin turned purple, it bubbled and boiled as he screamed, agonising screams, as the one who I assumed was Uldred willed it to change into something he saw as glorious.
As the new abomination fell to the floor, Uldred saw us.
'Ah… look what we have here. An intruder. I bid you welcome. Care to join in our… revels?'
'I take it you're Uldred.' It wasn't a question.
'Oh. Very observant.' He took in my appearance before he burst out laughing. 'I'm actually impressed you're alive – such a little scrap of a thing.'
My skin bristled at his comments and my hands tightened on my blades as I stepped further into the room. I was going to show him how much damage this 'little scrap of a thing' could do.
'Unfortunately,' the deranged mage continued. 'That must mean that you've killed my servants. Ah well,' he shrugged. 'Better off dying in the service of their betters than living with the terrible responsibility of independence.'
'I'm sorry,' my voice was dripping with sarcasm. 'Are you upset that I killed your lackeys? Were they not everything you expected them to be?'
'Nyra, start the killing already,' Alistair whispered to me as he stepped forward, ready to step in front of me when we attacked.
'You're mad! There's nothing glorious about what you've become, Uldred!' Wynne had carried on the conversation as I planned our attack. Motioning slightly with my head and my hands I manoeuvred Sten and Alistair into position, and moved myself around them.
'Say what you like,' I told him, as I watched Sten make his move towards Uldred's 'pets'. 'I'm still going to kill you.' The shadows wrapped around me and I moved silently towards Sten, as Alistair charged toward Uldred. But our steps faltered as a flash of light crackled around the crazed mage as he turned into a demonic beast.
'Alistair!' I screamed and ran towards him as Uldred rushed forward. The thing was twice the size of the Ogre we had faced in the tower at Ostagar and for all I knew it could use magic as well as its physical strength. Alistair would only be able to resist so much.
Alistair managed to raise his shield in time as Uldred's swing ploughed into him, knocking him straight on his back, his head smacking against the stone of the floor. I ran towards the hulking beast as Wynne blasted him with a sheet of Ice. I blinked quickly, trying to take everything in. I still wasn't used to magic in battles and spells could still make me hesitate for a moment to two. Something that was going to get me seriously hurt one day or, worse, killed.
'It won't hold long,' Wynne called out to me as she pointed towards Sten who was still fighting the three abominations on his own. 'But we might get one of those things down.' I nodded and ran towards the fray as she aided Alistair, her hand cupping the back of his head, healing his wound.
The second abomination fell as Uldred roared from within his ice casing and shattered it.
'Go,' Sten told me as he swiped with his heavy broadsword again. 'I can handle this one alone.'
I turned and ran back towards the beast. Alistair was already up and charging back towards it, his shield raised, but his sword hand empty. I wondered for a moment if the fall had rattled a few nails in his head loose until I saw him thrust his arm forward and the air in front of it rippled across the distance between him and the beast. I stared amazed at the moving air and watched as 'Uldred' flew back as Alistair grabbed his sword and ran towards the monster.
So that's what a Templar does! I thought for a second as I finally understood what Alistair had been trying to teach me about Templars. They weren't just warriors as I had first assumed, but weapons as well!
As I finally joined him and took to attacking the arms of the fallen beast trying to distract it, Alistair lunged for its head. With one almighty roar, he plunged his sword deep into the eye of the hellish brute and its body went still.
'Maker, I'm too old for this.' I turned to the voice that had spoken and saw the First Enchanter on his feet, his hands outstretched holding the Litany of Adralla, and I realised that I had forgotten about what Niall had told me and it was sheer luck I had dropped it by the First Enchanter. I was lucky we hadn't all been dominated during that fight – if that's what Uldred had planned on doing.
'Irving!' Wynne cried out, hurrying over to him. 'Are you all right?'
He groaned as he tried to stand upright again. His hands gripped his back as he looked at his old friend and smiled. 'I've been better. But I'm thankful to be alive.' Two younger mages limped over to the First Enchanter, shaking their heads, as if they were unsure as to what was going on.
'The circle owes a debt to you all,' he nodded towards us, smiling slightly. 'Alas, one we will never be able to repay.'
'Oh I don't know about that,' I grinned at Alistair, who gave the beast a final kick to ensure it was dead before he sheathed his sword and joined us.
'First Enchanter.' Alistair bowed deeply to the old man. 'I am sorry to bring this up now, especially after all that has happened. But I am Alistair and this is Nyra, we are Grey Wardens, and are here to seek aid against the Blight.'
'Ah,' the First Enchanter looked the two of us over. 'You're both very young. Where is Duncan?'
I saw Alistair's face fall.
'He was killed at Ostagar,' I told the elderly mage. 'I'm afraid that there is only the two of us left. We must do all that we can to aid the prevention of this Blight before the Wardens from Orlais, and hopefully the Anderfels, arrive. We are calling upon the Humans, the Dwarva, the Dalish and the Magi to fulfil their duties as dictated within the treaties they signed over four centuries ago. When the other Grey Wardens arrive, we will be prepared.'
'Well, you have my word as First Enchanter. The Circle will join you in the fight, but first I'll need you to guide me down the stairs.' He smiled at me like my father had done when I was younger. 'Curse whoever insisted the Circle be housed in a tower. Why not one of those lovely one storey houses I see across the countryside?'
I heard Sten mutter his approval as I led Irving down the steps.
o-O-o
Knight-Commander Greagoir ordered the doors to be opened as he heard us bellow from within that we had the First Enchanter and other survivors.
'Irving?' the Commander questioned as the old mage entered the great entrance to the tower. 'Maker's breath, I did not expect to see you alive.' The old Templar's eyes flickered with relief and something I suspected was more than friendship. I bit my lip to stop the questions that wanted to fall from my lips, remembering who I was here.
'It is over, Greagoir,' Irving gave the Knight-Commander a pat on the shoulder as he leaned upon his staff. 'Uldred is dead and-'
'Uldred tortured these mages hoping to break their will and turn them into abominations. We don't know how many of them have turned,' came the disdainful voice of the crazy-Templar we had rescued.
'Why you little-!' I began, until Alistair nudged me.
'It's not for us to interfere,' he whispered sternly. 'We have their support, that's all we need.'
'And if the Knight-Commander agrees with him he'll kill them in cold blood!' I spat back, looking up to see the First Enchanter wagging his finger in Cullen's face as Commander Greagoir rolled his eyes. As a princess my word was law, here it was interference. I wanted to scream in frustration.
'After everything we did to save all their arses.' I muttered angrily.
'I know,' Alistair's voice was soft, trying to soothe my disdain.
'For all we know another demon was- wait.'
'…he might be a blood mage for all we know!'
'And you might be possessed yourself, Cullen,' I interrupted them.
'What?' The three of them turned to me, Cullen's eyes wide.
'Well think about it, what if during all those visions you were having about … what was it again?' The Templar's face flushed bright red as I revealed to his Commander his weakness. 'Oh yes, her… your weakness and shame. I assume you're talking about a female Magi… Is it policy for your Templar's to fancy the Magi?' It was cruel, he had said she was dead, but this man wanted to kill others – others who didn't deserve to die. There was too much death already.
The Knight-Commander choked on an answer as the First Enchanter looked away quickly, and I raised my eyebrow to Alistair.
'Nyra.' Wynne's face was stern, but I could see the twinkle of amusement in her own eyes.
'Well, if after seeing all those tempting visions, you became weak, even for a moment, a demon might have slipped through – we should kill you too, if we slaughter the Magi.' I saw Alistair go tense at my words, but I focused on the young Templar, daring him to try and argue. 'Just to be sure, of course.'
'But…' His head pivoted between me and his Knight-Commander.
'Enough! I am the Knight-Commander here, Cullen, not you.' The Commander turned to me. 'Thank you. You have proven yourself to both the Circle and the Templars. Now that the Circle is restored you may speak to them about the assistance you require.'
'I already have – ensure that they are prepared for our call.' I bowed to him, showing my thanks.
'And First Enchanter,' I turned to the elderly mage who watched me with questions in his eyes. 'I thank you for fulfilling your obligation.'
'Irving,' Wynne spoke, 'I have a request. I seek leave to follow the Grey Wardens.'
'What?' Irving, Alistair and I chorused as one.
'Wynne,' the First Enchanter's voice was soft. 'We need you here. The Circle needs you.'
'I appreciate the sentiment, Irving, but the Circle will do fine without me. The Circle has you.'
'Who says we want you along?' I asked her. I was used to working with a platoon of trained men around me, not babysitting wannabe heroes. I wasn't planning on taking on a whole Blight with just the few of us; I was hoping to have the Orlesian Wardens, at least, join us before we got to Orzammar – I prayed to the Ancestors that they did.
'We have enough people at our sides, and it's hard enough to go unnoticed as it is with our current entourage.' I shook my head at her.
'I can be a great help to you Warden. My talents as a healer may bear you well in your travels.'
I looked at Alistair to try and garner his opinion. He nodded to me slightly.
'Okay,' I heaved in exasperation. 'But I will warn you, Wynne, as I have warned the others. I lead this group – not you. I am open to suggestions, but do not think that because you hold favour here, you will be able to force your will upon us.' The mage nodded and turned and left alongside Sten, who seemed to have a naturally calming effect on the old woman; Alistair and I made to follow, but the Knight-Commander stopped us.
'Alistair,' the Commander spoke. 'Although I thank you for your help in this matter, I have said this once before and this is the last time I will say it. I do not want to see you back here – ever. Do you understand?' Alistair's eyes hardened. He nodded his head once and turned stalking away, following the path of our two companions.
'What did he do?' I finally asked the Commander. The First Enchanter walked away and tended to the youths that had fled with the Templars when the tower had first fallen.
'About four years ago, as part of his training, he attended a Harrowing. The woman took too long to deal with the demon and we were to end her life for fear that she was dominated. Alistair was called upon to do the deed.'
'He told me as much.' My forehead wrinkled in confusion. 'But I don't understand why you wouldn't want him back again.' The Knight-Commander shook his head. 'He's the senior Warden; I need to know if he's going to put us all at risk.'
The Knight-Commander sighed, shaking his slightly. 'He approached her, hesitantly, before he threw his blade down and told us to… what was the colourful language he used? Oh yes, go shaft ourselves on our swords. Lovely.' I frowned; that didn't sound like the Alistair I knew. 'After much kerfuffle, with a sword to his own throat he finally killed her.'
'What?' My eyes widened as I looked at the Commander horrified. He had been forced to murder someone; that would be shocking to even the Dusters of Orzammar. 'How could you do something like that?'
'You don't understand. If it had been up to me, or any other Knight-Commander, we wouldn't have pushed as hard as we did, someone else would have completed the task and he would have been deemed unfit to serve as a Templar; he was never cut out for the life of one. But I had my orders.'
'What orders?'
'That I cannot say. Suffice to say after he carried out his duty, he was… angry.'
'Can you blame him?'
'He went on a rampage through the Apprentice quarters telling them all they were going to die at the hands of the Templars during their Harrowing. It took us months to put things back in order, and as you can see, they've never recovered their trust in us.'
I looked on at the retreating form of my friend as he walked down the corridor towards the exit, and I wondered what other secrets he was hiding.
Thanks to Jo who has beta-read all my chapters so far and has really kept me focused. Even now she's all like – Where's chapter 15? Why haven't I had chapter 15 yet? Don't be slacking… alas Uni has made me busier than I thought so chapter 15 is no way near produced, buy I have outlined up to number 21 (for those of you waiting for Gorim… you'll be excited by chapters 20 and 21! Or at least I hope that they'll be worth the wait!
For those of you who are wondering where that bit of Alistair's past has come from - I made it up, Artist licence again. I wanted him to have even more of a reason to have hated being a Templar and for not wanting to be King.
